Just packed up all of her things (mostly) on the realization that it's over. Had the realization for some time as the communication dwindled in frequency and content, but only really acted on it recently.

Not mad at her. I'm beyond proud of her! I just wish the dream would never have ended. I wish her all of the best in life and will continue to ( Read more... )

Note to self: reading old emails and chat logs between you and the girl who captured your heart like no other only leads to sadness.

Was combing though old exchanges only to find myself completely shaken and saddened. I keep repeating a mantra "Guys date women expecting them to remain the same and women choose men whom they hope to change."

I knew ( Read more... )

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Broke down, sobbing uncontrollably. This song did it. It always does.

And it always says what I'm feeling far more eloquently than I can ever manage...

It occurs to me that, should she ever poke around and find this journal and my entries, I want to make sure that I leave nothing unsaid or unclear ( Read more... )

Welp. It was fun for the past few years. I think I'm addicted to love. I'm a drunkard when in the midst of it and I'm horribly depressed and suffer withdrawals when deprived of it. It's a drug ( Read more... )

Haven't been able to sleep well for a couple of days now. The morning that I need to be able to wake up and I'm exhausted. I hope that I've been able to retain what's needed to ace this exam ( Read more... )

Managed to create a concept study guide for myself from scratch - only to have the printer betray me ( Read more... )

Exam in the morning and volumes of work beyond that.

And yet, I find myself wracked with anxiety and sadness.

Must focus. Everything else will fall in place in time and worrying over it in the interim will only make it worse. At least, that's what I've got to keep telling myself. Every fiber in my being wants to call her right now...

Have come to quite a few realizations that I didn't want to face ( Read more... )

She feels guilty because she feels like she's not putting any time into the relationship from her perspective. She wants me to be happy. A few kind and loving words a day is all I ever wanted or needed. I know she's buried under mountains of work. I know she's stressed out. But knowing that just the thought of me and my feelings for her adds to ( Read more... )