I hate moshing. To be more specific, I hate thrashers and crowd surfers. Being in the pit with everyone is fun. Being in the pit getting thrown around like a rag doll with everyone else while 5 idiots ruin music I paid 20 dollars to listen to makes me wanna get arrested for attempted murder ( Read more... )

I didn't remember that I forgot about day 5 because I had a great idea... that I forgot about until this morning. I was going to talk about my Chucks. Yes, those famed shoes: Converse, All Star, Chuck Taylor's. My low-top black Chucks couldn't be more typical if I tried, but I adore them. Adore. Adoration ( Read more... )

• I sell my CDs at shows for one dollar. It's the perfect amount. It's cheap enough to proclaim I have low self-esteem and to not prohibit people from buying, however, it is just prohibitive enough to keep people who just don't fucking care from taking one like they would if it was free. I am brilliant and I always, always, ALWAYS recoup cost of ( Read more... )

I walked out of my building today and saw a mass of lizard by the postbox. Not even plural, people; it looked like a two-headed lizard, one lizard piled on top of another. I stepped forward to nudge it with my toe to see if it was indeed a two-headed, two-tailed, eight-legged freak lizard ( Read more... )

This next decade is gonna be crazy.

When exactly did I stop saying "jizz" as much as I once did? I don't know when this happened. I know most of the people who will read this were glad when the word tapered out of my vocabulary. I'm betting it was discussed amongst you: one of you realized the word wasn't popping onto your screen -- bbbrrring! -- ad nauseam and brought your light ( Read more... )

Another hurricane, as all of you fucking know, is about to give it to Jacksonville up the ass. Jeanne hit land on Southern Florida, grew a huge fucking cock, and is now merrily fucking away with her new appendage. Luckily, Jacksonville has had the past 12 hours since Jeanne made landfall to track down a whole lotta KY so we're hoping with the ( Read more... )

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This is something I've always seen and now I'm going to tell all of you about it.

The ampersand in the Verdana font looks A LOT like someone doing a cannonball. You know, the thing you do where you run, jump, grab your legs, and the make a huge splash into the pool. Lemme show you:


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