[Fic] More Than This - 10/15
Title: More Than This
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairings: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun, Tablo/Eunhyuk
Other: various
Rating: R
Genre: AU, crime, romance
Warnings: violence, death (not of main characters)
Summary: Zhou Mi’s focus is Heartstrings, a dating company where love is more than just a guarantee - it's in Zhou Mi’s blood. A matchmaking gift he’s used with gladness, until a series of murders has it shaping his nightmares.
Eunhyuk, his business partner, can’t let go of his tumultuous past. But finding a man he’s been looking for over half his life has repercussions not only for him, but for Zhou Mi and their future.
Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four * Chapter Five * Chapter Six * Chapter Seven * Chapter Eight * Chapter Nine * Chapter Ten * Chapter Eleven
***
Sitting at a desk with shoes and socks on, answering and organizing emails, wasn’t nearly as exciting as staying at the beach. Kyuhyun had all the sand laundered off of him and his clothes before the night was out when he got back. And it was certainly nice to laze. There was a certain quota of wrestling in the ocean and walking around that he was okay with. He did get small withdrawal pains after a while, from the computer. Being busy and active made him forget that. Of course the emails were a welcome task, beside the looming open house tasks that Eunhyuk had saddled him with. He had lists from caterers - Ryeowook’s restaurant had been chosen for part of it - and decorators, RSVPs. Everything he and Eunhyuk were dealing with as the date approached. He was avoiding going over the last of it until he absolutely had to.
But it got him through the day, giving him just enough time to go home and change, for his date with Donghae. They were meeting to get a snack, before seeing a movie. Not too late, because Kyuhyun had an early morning, but something, since they hadn’t seen each other in a while. Kyuhyun wondered if there would be the same ease there as there was before as he jogged up the subway stairs toward street level. Donghae saw him first, leaning against the railing and looking down. And he got one of Donghae’s grins as they passed before joining up at the top of the stairs.
“Good to see you,” Donghae said, and there was a half hug, half pat on the back in greeting. They’d done quite a bit of talking online, some texting. A little flirting, he guessed, but sometimes he wasn’t really wise to that. “Good trip?”
“Really good,” Kyuhyun said. “We went where there weren’t a whole lot of people, and the weather stayed nice.”
“I wish my boss would take me somewhere. I haven’t been to the beach in forever. What do you want to eat?”
Anything. Everything. “What’s closest to the theater?” he asked, so they wouldn’t miss their showtime.
Donghae laughed. “Everything. But there’s fast food I think? And we can get snacks at the theater.”
“Popcorn.”
They shared a high-five at the thought. But they both got chicken, the most portable thing there was, since the time was getting short to the start of the movie.
“Sorry we haven’t been able to meet again before now,” Donghae said, leaning beside him against the outside of the building. “Work has been crazy. I was telling one of my friends, and they thought it was really cool what you did. Most people have really normal jobs, so it’s fun to talk about.”
Kyuhyun couldn’t disagree. It had certainly brought curiosity, and some ribbing, from the friends he’d told. His parents were gently thrilled, probably hoping he’d use the services and find a nice girl to settle down with. He wasn’t exactly telling them that he was using the services, and was instead finding nice boys. Eventually, he’d have to tell them. But not something he wanted to consider on a date.
And the movie was good, a horror flick that Donghae had chosen. Kyuhyun really hadn’t had an opinion, since it seemed like any time he really wanted to go to the movies, there was nothing he wanted to see playing. It was just nice to sit in an air conditioned room, amid screams and tension, and share popcorn. Though he had his own drink. One step at a time. It was less personal than the first date, though their hands did brush occasionally, going for popcorn at the same time. Donghae’s gasps, and nervous laughter. Kyuhyun eventually let his brain shut off, and just enjoy it.
“Whoa, when the doors flew open, I thought I was going to just jump out of the theater!” Donghae exclaimed as they were exiting onto the street after the movie. “Do you think that was CG?”
“Maybe. But the ghost oozing through the wall was really gross.”
“Ew, I know, wasn’t it? So great. I love seeing movies in the theater.”
“The surround sound,” Kyuhyun said with some reverence.
“Yeah. So I really hope my work stops being stupid so we can meet up again, soon. But you’re getting really busy, too.”
“Lots of work to be done. But, it’ll go okay,” Kyuhyun said. It was just luck that they both had time free so soon after Kyuhyun got back. “I’ll let you know, so whenever you have free…”
Donghae glanced around them, pulling Kyuhyun off to the side. Not totally inconspicuous but better than the middle of the sidewalk. “Thanks for meeting me. It was really fun.”
“It was,” Kyuhyun agreed.
And there was that moment of being unsure, both of them moving. Kyuhyun could feel that Donghae was smiling, just a bit, as they kissed. They laughed at each other, glancing around to see if anyone had seen. And no one had. So Kyuhyun pressed his lips to Donghae’s one last time.
“Now it feels like it was a date,” Donghae said, grinning at him.
***
The morning after that date, was the first morning he went into Heartstrings in the morning instead of after lunch. The open house, and extra work from it, had Eunhyuk asking if they could add extra hours that week especially. Needing more of Kyuhyun’t time on top of his everyday tasks. And that was fine. Kyuhyun was there on time, worked the morning as he’d planned.
But it was the walk of dread as he went back into Zhou Mi’s office.
“Sorry,” Zhou Mi said. “This won’t take but a few minutes. I know you had your date last night, and I like to talk to people when it’s fresh.”
“That’s fine,” Kyuhyun said, and held out the bundle in his hands. “I went ahead and washed the pajamas you lent me. So, thanks.”
“Oh!” Zhou Mi said, taking them from Kyuhyun. “Thank you! You didn’t have to do that. I’d almost forgotten about them. Sit, sit. So, how did last night go?”
Kyuhyun sat, examining the bold tree pattern on Zhou Mi’s shirt instead of looking up at him. Made him want to go to the beach again. A tropical one.
“Great. We had a snack, and saw a movie. Just an early night since I knew I was coming in early.”
Zhou Mi nodded, his eyes full of interest. “And what’d you see?”
“‘The House in the Hollows?’” Kyuhyun told him.
“Ooh. I’ve heard good things about that. Was it scary?”
“Made walking out in the dark seem a bit weird!”
Zhou Mi almost shuddered, as if he was delighted by the idea. “Though it’s always nicer if you’re walking out with someone else. So that’s great. And then I have to ask… Kiss?”
Zhou Mi’s interest, his questions, would’ve been funny, or even fun, in any other kind of situation. And there was nothing like sitting in front of a man he wanted to roll on, while talking about a date with another man. If the rolling on was all it was, that would be one thing. His conscience twinged at him, and he shoved at it. He was trying. He’d had two, very nice dates with Donghae. He really was trying.
“Yeah, I kissed him. It was good. I enjoyed it.”
You make me think about you having sex with other men, he thought a bit drolly. A kiss is kind of lame in comparison, if you care.
“Good,” Zhou Mi said, and made some kind of magic matchmaker mark. “Okay. I think that’s all the questions I had on that. You’ve made plans to meet again?”
“Just that we we’ll try and fit it in. So I’ll let you know.”
“Great. I’ll let you get back to work now. I know you have a long way to go,” Zhou Mi said, half winking.
It made him grin, and there was that wistfulness. There was that question in the back of his mind, if Zhou Mi would’ve gone with him to see the movie, if he’d asked.
***
His second full day at Heartstrings had Kyuhyun finding his rhythm quicker. Helping the day go a little faster, as he navigated order lists, and fielded calls getting things set up for the open house. Making sure all staff was confirmed, event space. Each thing he marked off in green on his spreadsheet was a relief to him, as much as it was to Eunhyuk.
Normal office sounds were Eunhyuk typing or on the phone, and the bubbling of the fish tank. And there were the sounds from Zhou Mi’s office. Most days, there was a steady stream of telephone meetings, or those held in person. But a laugh had him turning his head. Maybe it was heightened alert after the episode with the nightmare, but he had no idea what would cause that kind of response. He’d never heard quite that kind of laugh before from Zhou Mi, and he looked over at Eunhyuk to see if he was imagining things. There was not amusement in it, at all.
“That’s not a good sign,” Eunhyuk said. But neither of them moved.
They didn’t have to, as the printer whirred, and the sound of the rollers on Zhou Mi’s chair gave their distinctive sound. Zhou Mi appeared seconds later, crossing the room to grab the paper and brandishing it at Eunhyuk.
“You will never guess what this is.”
Eunhyuk just stared up at him. “I’ll take your word on that. What is it?”
“If you had to pick one guy in the entire world that you’d never expect to get in contact with me, who would it be? Or…the one you’d want least? Either.”
It took a moment, but Eunhyuk’s face began to darken in understanding. “He wouldn’t. Has it been that long?”
“Apparently! You have to hear this out loud to get the full impact. ‘I’ve been thinking a lot the last month, and I think I made the wrong decision,’” Zhou Mi read. “‘I thought the military was going to make things clearer for me, but I realized I’d turned aside the only person who loved me for who I am, not for who I “should” be. My parents met me, and asked me if they should help me look for a wife. I had to tell them I wasn’t ready, and I realized I wished you had been there instead. Is it selfish to hope you are still single and still feel the same way about me?’”
An ex-boyfriend, Kyuhyun had been assuming, and realized he was right as Zhou Mi read with a peculiar mixture of anger and mockery. He’d known there had been a guy from Zhou Mi’s past that had messed him up, but it was a different thing hearing it. The not so idle wondering of what the guy looked like. And though Zhou Mi had just read why the guy was back, he was still baffled at the email. And Eunhyuk was as well, to the extreme.
“But what happens the next fucking time he realizes his family will judge him?” Eunhyuk raged. “What self-indulged sack of-“
Zhou Mi caught Eunhyuk’s arm as he paced by, holding it. “It sounds like he really meant it, and if it’s true, then I’m glad he might be taking steps to own his own happiness.”
“Surely he doesn’t think you’ll go running back. It’s like he wanted to get rid of you so none of his army pals would get a whiff that he might be gay, and then it’s fine to play around with you until it’s time for wedding bells for real,” Eunhyuk told him.
“It sounds like he wants to meet. Maybe I owe him that, so he can move on.”
“No!” Eunhyuk almost shouted. “No. This is not the time to indulge your masochism. He earned his right to move on when he ripped out your heart, stomped on it, and handed it back! Stop acting like you’re the one who has something to make up for! Kyuhyun, you can see sense, right?”
Kyuhyun jerked as though he’d been touched, startled to be drawn into the conversation he’d only been an innocent bystander to.
“An email seems like it’d be enough,” he said carefully. “Like, glad you came back well, but I’ve moved on and think it’s good for you to also. And please don’t contact me again.”
“If he’s still struggling with his sexuality-“
“Send him a link to a support group,” Eunhyuk said firmly. “If he gets to you in person, hell. Telling you all his sob stories, and making you feel guilty for not magically making him better. Turns on the waterworks, and suddenly you’re in bed with a whole other layer of guilt.”
“I’m not that easy,” Zhou Mi said. And there was a note of anger in his voice.
“Yes. You are that easy.”
Zhou Mi shook his head. “I have to take care of this my way.”
“He’s already given you all the regrets you need. You need to let him go. Zhou Mi… You weren’t hoping he’d get out, and change his mind, were you?”
“Maybe right at first. But even then I knew we’d never be right together again. I was angry, and hurt. And this just makes me remember all of that.”
“Then tell him that. In an email. That you were really hurt, and that he needs to find someone new, and that if he has any fondness for the memory of what you had together, then he should do his best to move on, far far away from you.” And Eunhyuk paused. “You could also tell him that I’ll kick his balls off if he tries to contact you again, but that sounds really angry.”
That had all of them laughing.
Kyuhyun looked back to his desk as Eunhyuk stepped close to Zhou Mi, speaking too quietly for Kyuhyun to hear. He spotted his salvation in a short stack of files he needed to put back in Zhou Mi’s cabinet. Waiting a few moments, arguing with himself, before standing and intending to give them some privacy. But it was his luck and his timing that Zhou Mi met him halfway, an apologetic smile on his face.
“Thank you,” Zhou Mi said, using both hands to straighten Kyuhyun’s tie. “And I’m really sorry you have to deal with all this emotional drama. That’s not a part of your job description.”
He gripped Zhou Mi’s elbow, hoping to infuse a little solidarity. It ended up almost overbalancing them into each other, and he spent a breathless moment staring into Zhou Mi’s collar.
“I don’t think you should worry. We have to stick together. I know who to go for advice if I have any exes trying to come back where they’re not needed.”
“This is not as your boss, okay?” Zhou Mi said, and enfolded Kyuhyun in a hug. It was good to note that Zhou Mi didn’t seem shaky or overly emotional. Pulling Kyuhyun in with surprising strength and gripping him close.
“You shouldn’t let him drag you back there again,” Kyuhyun said softly, patting Zhou Mi’s back.
“I just need to carry you and Eunhyuk around in my pockets,” Zhou Mi said, and laughed a little as he let Kyuhyun go.
“Not until you get bigger pockets,” Eunhyuk insisted from across the room.
But Kyuhyun got the files put away, and back at his desk. The beach wasn’t anywhere near as lively as the office, that was for certain. And he shoved aside the worry that the email had brought him.
***
Streamlining was something Kyuhyun was very into, especially if it was something that saved him effort. The way things were done was fascinating to him, but he’d always enjoyed a challenge on how to do things better. And having a boss or teacher look at him with appreciation didn’t hurt his drive in the least.
He was hard at work fiddling with a spreadsheet and pivot table when Zhou Mi came in from lunch, making for his phone. The new trend had been for Zhou Mi to leave it on Kyuhyun’s desk when he left, which meant he got to keep it a few steps longer, and retrieve it a few steps earlier. Eunhyuk had just rolled his eyes, and mumbled about codependency.
Zhou Mi had asked Eunhyuk if he was the pot or the kettle.
After Kyuhyun had greeted Zhou Mi as always, like he did every day, Zhou Mi seemed to leave. He distinctly heard several steps beyond his chair, and was starting to tinker again. But he didn’t get far.
“Hey,” Zhou Mi said, getting down into his space from behind him, and setting Kyuhyun’s whole body on alert. Both at Zhou Mi looming over him, and his proximity. “I was thinking on my way up. Did you watch the movie yet?”
Movie. Movie. Oh, right, the movie Zhou Mi had insisted he had to see, but then they hadn’t got to watch. He’d forgotten he still had the DVD in his laptop.
“No?” he said, not daring to turn his head since he could hear Zhou Mi breathing not far from his ear.
“Slow!” Zhou Mi accused, and Kyuhyun felt the wiggle as Zhou Mi laughed. “No, but you should. Or! I could bring something to eat and we can watch it like we meant to. It’s so fun to see people react to it.”
Zhou Mi in his apartment. His face drew up a little at the thought. Not entirely a bad thing, but he wondered what state he’d left it in. Zhou Mi. His apartment.
“Sure? I’m free any night?”
“Oh. Then tomorrow tonight maybe? Email me directions, or I’ll just come with you.”
No grass was going to grow under Zhou Mi’s feet. Kyuhyun jittered out a laugh.
“Sure. That’s fine.”
At least Zhou Mi hadn’t suggested that night. He’d have a full day to orient himself to the idea and prepare for his sacred alone time to be invaded. His face said everything as Zhou Mi walked away with a pumped fist. He’d have felt a bit happy himself if he managed to get through the shock of being dive bombed with a movie- Outing. Invitation. That sounded better than date. Even if it was friendly.
Movement had him looking up and he realized Eunhyuk was looking at him. He nodded hastily and turned back to his own work. He flushed like’d gotten caught doing something he shouldn’t. Eunhyuk hadn’t looked mad, but the expression hadn’t seemed pleased either. Perhaps it was that time was being wasted when both Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi could be working. But he put it aside, and got to work.
***
Kyuhyun had a little futon, a gift from his parents. It was big enough for them both to sit on. His TV was nice enough, but overall his apartment wasn’t huge. But it didn’t have to be. They were going to eat, watch a movie, not hold a dancing class. If his brain hadn’t been so held hostage by Zhou Mi’s suggestion, he’d have steered them toward meeting at Zhou Mi’s apartment instead. Unless Zhou Mi just really wanted to see where Kyuhyun lived. He half suspected that was the truth, from Zhou Mi’s smile as they walked in. Zhou Mi had been ready within twenty minutes of Kyuhyun’s usual leaving time, some kind of record. Eunhyuk had left first, pausing beside Kyuhyun’s desk for a moment before saying goodnight.
“Eunhyuk had plans or he’d have come as well,” Zhou Mi said as they unpacked the takeout they’d picked up. “I made him watch this, too, but… I won’t tell you what he said until you’ve seen it. Oh, the lights! We have to turn out the lights.”
Kyuhyun set up his little table by the light of the TV so they had a place to set their food and drinks, and queued up the movie. The first of it he’d seen on the bus, but as the movie grew more and more tense, he nearly forgot to eat. Glancing over at Zhou Mi who had a pillow clutched to his chest and was staring at the screen with huge eyes.
And he’d seen it before. It made Kyuhyun laugh inside.
The blip of a siren had him jerking, the abandoned remnants of his meal jostling on the table. And suddenly everything he thought was true about the plot, suddenly wasn’t.
“Whoa,” he said, riveted on the screen.
“I know!” Zhou Mi said, his voice pitched high and excited.
His mind raced, putting together plot points and clues, the laugh stuck in his throat as he realized what was going on. Not a movie to be scared of, but to think on. He was still blinking about it when the credits started rolling. And he didn’t have a moment to process as Zhou Mi turned to him, all expectation.
“What did you think?”
“It was good, interesting. I think I need to watch it again just to see.” And catch all the hints he’d missed.
“I know,” Zhou Mi said. “I watched it twice the first day I saw it. I love scary movies but this just…the wall! I was so confused, and then I got it, and it made me laugh. Eunhyuk thought it was kind of stupid, but…”
Zhou Mi gestured as though to say he thought some of what Eunhyuk liked was stupid, too. And he lost track of time in their movie discussion, as they moved from what they’d seen to others. Only realizing how long they’d spent, when his “You have 15 minutes to go to bed or you’re toast,” alarm went off. An alarm he usually ignored, but the sound was enough to make Zhou Mi look at his own phone and yip at the time.
“Ah! I should be going. I’m sure Eunhyuk will be after us both tomorrow since the open house is so soon.”
There was a flurry of movement as they both got up, turning on the light and throwing away trash. Even then Zhou Mi kept talking, to Kyuhyun’s amusement. He wondered how it’d gotten to be that way. That one day Zhou Mi had made him mostly nervous, and then he could lose track of himself just talking to him.
Zhou Mi shrugged into his jacket, and Kyuhyun handed him the DVD.
“Thanks for telling me about it. It was fun.”
“I enjoyed seeing it with you. Your face at the monster! Yes. And it was fun to talk, too,” Zhou Mi said, laughing down into his bag as he tucked away the DVD in a notebook. “I’m glad…”
Zhou Mi faltered, and waved away his last words as Kyuhyun blinked at him.
“Have a safe trip home?”
“I’ll take a taxi,” Zhou Mi informed him, and triple checked for keys and phone. “See you tomorrow afternoon!”
“Yeah.”
And he stood stock still as Zhou Mi’s hand slid down his arm, from elbow to wrist. A perfectly casual touch as Zhou Mi retreated into the hallway. One that Zhou Mi probably did to all his friends, but that had Kyuhyun’s mind spasming. He wasn’t wholly unaccustomed to touch, but with Zhou Mi it was different. It was. His argument fell through, because Zhou Mi shoved at people’s shoulders and tapped out words as spoke to Eunhyuk. It was not casual as much as it was affectionate, and connecting, and from what Kyuhyun had seen, measured. Zhou Mi did not touch strangers or clients like that.
Friendly. That was all.
And twenty minutes later, Kyuhyun’s phone buzzed.
“Home! Thanks again for tonight! ^^ Sleep well!” Zhou Mi had texted.
He debated responding for far longer than he needed to.
“Thanks, you too!” he wrote back. And told himself it was nothing but courtesy. The difference between the movie with Donghae, in the yawning theater, and sitting close to Zhou Mi, couldn’t even be counted. His reaction to Zhou Mi’s presence. His boss who had him dating someone else. That was what made sense. People didn’t flirt or try to spend time with someone they were interested in, while still trying to get them to date other people. And he fell asleep almost entirely convinced.
***
Things went smoother with another set of hands, Eunhyuk thought with a sigh. And it wasn't as though he didn't know that before, or that Zhou Mi had been totally unhelpful in the past. But there were often times when Zhou Mi was busy doing the matching - what kept them afloat. Which left a lot of the planning for parties and or open houses, or even small get togethers and mixers for their clients to mingle, to him. He'd become half party planner, half matchmaker, and had even taken a few classes on how to do it more effectively. Zhou Mi simply didn't have the time, or the brainpower to do too many things at once. They each had their strengths, and he was not unhappy with his role. But that was another reason to realize what an asset Kyuhyun was.
Because instead of Zhou Mi tossing him a few minutes here and there, he basically had a dedicated right hand. Both to organize certain things while he ran down their suppliers, or do the actual running himself. Sometimes physically, since he'd sent Kyuhyun out to find a florist who turned off her phone at the most inconvenient moment.
It was one of the biggest open houses they'd had, to stir interest and create buzz. Over a hundred on the guest list, many of those RSVPing right on schedule. They were serving light appetizers and some cute little desserts like Kyuhyun had first brought them. Wine, flowers, traditional music being played live. He knew Kyuhyun's eyes started to glaze over at some points, but they managed to break it up in chunks. It meant coming from sun and the beach, to staying in their cave. Kyuhyun’s extra hours just helping make sure everything was set perfectly had been a lifesaver. They were twins of high pressure party planning. Zhou Mi was so used to addressing them together, he'd actually called Kyuhyun “Kyuhyuk” once, and almost caused a riot in the office. Maybe they were doing the same jobs but they hadn't merged into the same person yet.
Zhou Mi’s mission was as it always was. Be the charming figurehead, and chat up people. Kyuhyun was go-between for catering and any problems. Making sure food and drink was available as planned, and any other miscellaneous things. Answering questions, though he knew that was not the part that thrilled Kyuhyun’s imagination the most.
And his job, enviably, was to mingle and keep an eye out, and do everything else.
Stickers on their lapels declared them staff, and he skirted the room, keeping an eye out for any problems. The rented computers, set up for people to check their profiles or share them, or watch tutorial videos, were all in use. People were mingling, talking.
“Hey stranger,” he heard from beside him, and turned with a smile at Sooyoung’s voice.
“Hey you. I though Zhou Mi was fixing you up without parties like this?”
Sooyoung laughed, threading her arm through Eunhyuk’s. “He is, but he also invited me to the party.”
“Ah, he was making sure there was some life to it,” Eunhyuk teased. And he met Kyuhyun’s eyes from across the room, getting a nod that all was well on Kyuhyun’s end as well. “You’re going to give all these guys unrealistic expectations.”
She just rolled her eyes at him. “I heard you guys got away from the city for a while. How was that?”
He wondered for what other reason Sooyoung was there. To pad out the party, sure. But also perhaps to pry. And he wasn’t sure if that was more on Zhou Mi’s end, or Sooyoung’s. He’d known them both long enough to know that they were interested to the point of nosiness in everyone’s love lives. Zhou Mi knew all Eunhyuk had to tell, so he figured Sooyoung was more the cavalry, there to show support. But what neither of them knew was that his problems were less Tablo-related and more Zhou Mi-related. Swapping seats on the bus hadn’t been because he’d wanted to get away from Tablo, though he knew that was what Zhou Mi had thought at first.
It was because that every moment he sat there, and it was good - he realize that Zhou Mi was settling in beside Kyuhyun. And the problem with knowing Zhou Mi as long as he had, he knew the signs. Zhou Mi reaching to touch Kyuhyun’s elbow, watching carefully for his laughs, or in general wanting to be close. Kyuhyun wasn’t a bad guy, and certainly didn’t give Eunhyuk the bad feelings that he’d gotten about Zhou Mi’s crushes in the past. It didn’t eliminate the fact that Kyuhyun was their employee, and that Zhou Mi was supposedly matching him. Equally plausible was that it was a fleeting crush, and that he’d feel stupid for having worried. But if he’d learned anything about being Zhou Mi’s friend, it was that it came with extra helpings of worry that Zhou Mi was protecting himself from possible emotional trauma. And Eunhyuk got invested in that, because his emotional trauma usually meant Eunhyuk having emotional trauma as well. But none of that was something he could talk about to Sooyoung without giving up some pretty big secrets. He’d find time to talk to Zhou Mi personally, before things got out of hand.
And he had another jolt as he saw Zhou Mi check in with Kyuhyun, and the expression on Zhou Mi’s face as Kyuhyun turned.
“I think there’s a guy staring at you,” Sooyoung murmured.
“Let me know when he’s not,” Eunhyuk said, amused, and feeling like he was back in grade school.
And when Sooyoung did, heat surged up the sides of his face before he looked back to her. And what she saw there told her everything.
“So that’s the elusive Tablo? So I finally get to see what he looks like. He looks smart. Are you sure that’s the right guy?”
Eunhyuk squinted at her. “Are you trying to insult yourself, or is that just a side effect?”
She laughed. “You had to have at least one exception. He’s going to see you with your hair like that, so you might as well take me over there and introduce me.”
It had been exactly what he’d planned on doing, and there was no point putting it off until Tablo found him. But he kept Sooyoung close as they walked, keeping an eye on things. And getting a smile as Tablo caught sight of him.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Eunhyuk said, trying not to take all of Tablo’s face in at once. The tug of his lips, and his open collar and sleek jacket. If they’d been alone, maybe he’d have wanted to touch. Grab a hand, or something. He’d been too busy to even make plans with the event upcoming, too drained. And he was hungry for the contact. What the occasional text or email could not satisfy.
“I figured I’d come out and show my support. Check out your food,” Tablo said, teasing.
And Sooyoung squeezed his arm, reminding him that he wasn’t just there to soak up Tablo’s presence.
“Oh. This is Choi Sooyoung. A good friend of mine, and of Zhou Mi’s also. Ah. This is Tablo, who you’ve… heard of.”
Letting them both know Sooyoung knew a bit about the situation. And it was odd to stand there and watch them greet each other, some facets of his far past and recent history colliding. He’d been in bed with Sooyoung more than a few times, and hadn’t yet even gotten to a proper make out session with Tablo. For some reason that knowledge seemed to revolve around him like an oversized planet and jacked up his anxiety beyond all proportions.
“I need to go say hello to Zhou Mi,” Sooyoung said, being wise beyond what Eunhyuk was able to relay. “I’ll see you before I go.”
And she left, sleek in her party dress and turning a few male heads as she passed. But Tablo’s eyes were on him, not Sooyoung, and that startled him as he looked back.
“A girlfriend?” Tablo asked. And perhaps it was just that obvious.
“Former. We’re friends now. And she knows there is someone else.”
Tablo cleared his throat, lifting his glass of champagne and letting his smile curve behind it for a moment. “I wonder who that is?”
“I’ve been neglecting him. Do you think he knows?”
“He knows. Are you going to be busy after this finishes up? Or should we wait another day?”
Most of the cleanup would be done by their contractors. Most of what he would do would be to answer any straggler questions, and eventually deal with new sign-ups. But that would be a morning task, besides packing up their equipment and supplies and taking them back to the office. What he saw of the numbers pleased him.
“It’ll go another hour at least, then packing up. I can come by.”
“Just text if you’re too tired.”
He leaned in until Tablo’s face got closer, close enough to whisper. “It’s good to see you.”
That zinging tingle again as Tablo’s eyes widened. Surprised and yet not. It wasn’t a secret, but also not something he’d said in the texts they’d shared. Normally just workday updates, status on how they were feeling, such as tired or hungry. Showing concern. The little ways that said he cared, in telling Tablo he should eat or suggesting they should overthrow all the bosses. Since Tablo knew who Eunhyuk’s “boss” was, it was even more amusing to send. Zhou Mi would’ve pretended offense, but Eunhyuk knew better.
And Eunhyuk felt more empowered than he had maybe from the moment he realized that not all his need to know Tablo was strictly as friends. He passed Zhou Mi with a smile, and let the anticipation fuel his energy the rest of the evening.
***
His breath was coming fast in front of Tablo’s door. Exhausted, happy, satisfied. Anticipating. And he got his wish as Tablo opened the door quickly, relaxed in sweatpants and a t-shirt. And it was as attractive to him as Tablo in slacks and a dress shirt had been before. He’d texted Tablo that he was on his way, and finally arrived.
“Hey, you finally made it,” Tablo said, helping him set aside his bag. “I made you a snack. If you’re hungry?”
“A snack sounds amazing. Don’t let your arm get too near me, or it’ll be in danger,” Eunhyuk warned.
“Oh really?” Tablo asked, raising his eyebrow. “Go, sit. Relax.”
He was brought a can of soda, and a plate of fruit and a sandwich. His stomach was growling far before he had a chance to dig in. He’d just barely picked up the sandwich when Tablo settled beside him, dropping an arm around his shoulders and getting it well in range. His skin contracted at the touch of Tablo’s fingers against his arm, and Tablo smiled, nearly winking.
“I’ll risk it.”
Some things were worth waiting for. Not that he got to do much talking as he was stuffing his face, watching whatever TV show Tablo had turned on. It was almost exactly like the night in the hotel had been. Sitting together. Dozing against each other. The week before, Zhou Mi’s raised and questioning eyebrow had made it clear he had thought something dirty had gone on until Eunhyuk had set him straight. But it was hard to think about making out when the time they’d really kissed, Tablo had backed off. Easing in was key. Easing in made him feel a little giddy. Taking care at each corner, like they were folding delicate origami. The picture of what they’d end up with, he didn’t know. But with the taste of peaches on his tongue, he turned, offering.
The kiss, greeting, welcoming. Tablo’s mouth warm against his, clinging to his. He shuddered as Tablo stroked his arm, and got a chuckle for it. And the look they shared told him Tablo knew exactly what he was doing. Another step, he thought, leaning in for another kiss.
But it was late, even from when he’d arrived. And the morning was looming far too close. It was regret that had him pulling away, getting a last kiss before he left to start unwinding. From the event, and from Tablo’s presence.
“Let’s do that again soon,” he texted Tablo as he made it to the subway.
And he knew they would.
***
With the open house, all the exhausting organization of it, behind them, Kyuhyun was glad to get back to routine. Working for Tablo before heading to Heartstrings. Trying to pass the image of Zhou Mi, in a crisp suit, mingling and chatting with his customers and potential customers. Several times through the night, Zhou Mi had come back around to Kyuhyun, just standing and getting a drink and checking in with him. As had Eunhyuk, but the feeling was totally different. The nerves it sent through him.
“I’m going to sleep away the rest of the weekend,” Zhou Mi had joked to him, as they were packing up the last of the supplies.
And Kyuhyun’s mind supplied all the memories of Zhou Mi sleeping against him.
But menial tasks, those were ones he was saddled with. The enviable Accounting of the Emails, was getting passed to Kyuhyun without a lot of fanfare. Kyuhyun occasionally wondered if Zhou Mi and Eunhyuk had meetings on what else they could pass on to fill Kyuhyun’s afternoons without making him lose his hair from stress. Making a database for Zhou Mi’s customer emails and replies was definitely something that Kyuhyun felt was possible. And his mind flew far ahead of Zhou Mi’s rambles, as he imagined a sortable, searchable, organized database that would have Zhou Mi singing praises and wondering why Kyuhyun hadn’t been consulted far before.
Between the three of them in things like that, he figured they knew about enough to be dangerous. But also enough, he thought anyway, to make some pretty great solutions.
And most of his attention was legitimately on the screen in front of him. Watching from beside Zhou Mi who was in Kyuhyun’s chair, as he walked Kyuhyun through his thoughts on how to make sure messages stayed together that were supposed to, and how Zhou Mi hoped it could be cross referenced and tagged. All of which had Kyuhyun humming in agreement and waiting for his turn to speak. According to Eunhyuk, Zhou Mi took a stab at it every few months and then got discouraged or busy. Apparently Zhou Mi wanted it done right, and it wasn’t something so needful that taking Eunhyuk’s time on it made sense. Enter Kyuhyun.
He had a lot of ideas, ideas he’d rather have implemented in private to show Zhou Mi in working order rather than waste his time, but Zhou Mi was sending him a very doe-eyed stare wanting to know what amazing ideas Kyuhyun had. Not in so many words, but he was reading between the lines where Zhou Mi was concerned.
He spoke quickly, wandering his finger down the screen from addresses to subjects.
“So if you click on a subject, you can pull up everything with that…”
Kyuhyun’s mouth kept moving with the technical babble that Zhou Mi seemed keen on. Or he thought Zhou Mi seemed keen on it, besides the part that Zhou Mi’s eyes had left the screen and paused somewhere in the vicinity of Kyuhyun’s mouth. He had to resist the urge to lick his lips, or make some kind of odd sound as his concentration left as steadily as Zhou Mi’s had.
“Zhou Mi?”
Zhou Mi blinked, eyes lifting to Kyuhyun’s.
“Right. I can sort and cross reference?”
That had been a few points back. And Zhou Mi seemed to realize that, shaking his head.
“Sorry. Sorry. I’m tired, today. No dreams, but not enough sleep. Why don’t you work on it a little, and send me an example and we’ll go from there?”
“Sure,” Kyuhyun said, and wondered exactly what had happened. “Oh. And I sorted the mail.”
He held out the sparse envelopes, an act he’d done so many times. Waiting for Zhou Mi to reach, to take. And Zhou Mi did, but not the way Kyuhyun expected. Zhou Mi’s hand raked up the back of his, as though Zhou Mi had overshot. He tried to adjust, their fingers tangling. And his eyes were doing double duty, staring up and then down to get some sense of what Zhou Mi was doing. It was barely two seconds of contact, and Zhou Mi stuttered out a laugh.
“I’m sorry. I have no idea where my head is. I can’t take your hand in with me.”
“I guess a third hand would be useful, but I need that,” Kyuhyun joked back.
“Thank you. Thanks for this.”
Maybe Kyuhyun was blind, but the awkward laugh, the way Zhou Mi’s hand rose to smooth down the back of his own hair as he walked away, it all spoke of embarrassment. Maybe because Zhou Mi had accidentally grabbed Kyuhyun’s hand. Maybe even for the touch itself. He could still feel Zhou Mi’s hand gripping his, fingertips across the backs of his fingers, and the gaze on his mouth. The tingle that had shot up his arm.
He kept that hand in his lap for some time.
***
In Zhou Mi’s office, a hand covered his face, and he sat very still. Breathing, reliving a touch that was nothing. Everything.
“Get yourself together,” he told himself.
It would’ve been nice if that worked. But he wasn’t counting on it.
***
Text messages from Zhou Mi.
Touches.
Movies.
Nights eating in or eating out together.
Relaxing together in the hammock.
Sleeping in the same bed.
Zhou Mi touching his hand.
Zhou Mi staring at him.
The mental list was getting harder to ignore. And those were only the things Kyuhyun could concretely place. There were a lot of reasons behind those. Moments that happened that should not have been them alone together. Eunhyuk canceling, chance. Zhou Mi being tired, or afraid. Zhou Mi being a nice guy, a friendly guy. He had explanations for everything. But even he began to see that leaping for explanations for each event maybe didn’t make as much sense as seeing a pattern in them.
Another problem was that many of those things depended on assuming things about Zhou Mi’s possible feelings. Whatever those were. It didn’t even begin to list what Kyuhyun thought, or wanted, or didn’t want. Or was scared to think about.
There was nothing wrong with Donghae. He was good looking, funny, fun to be around. Fun to talk to online, or on the phone. Interesting to text. The kiss hadn’t been blazing hot, but they’d been on the street.
But that right there had him considering. He had no idea how Zhou Mi kissed, but just the mere idea of kissing Zhou Mi had his breath catching. Imagining kissing Donghae was appealing. But in a totally different way.
Maybe some people could date a guy while trying to resolve feelings for another, but he wasn’t one of them. He could either shut Zhou Mi out as an option, or Donghae. And the choice had his head falling back. His insides felt like some weird monster, chewing on his better reason.
He was hung up on Zhou Mi. He knew that. And he had to deal with it. Make it not an option, or do something about it, or he was going to drive himself insane. Trying to make Donghae happy, and being wistful with Zhou Mi couldn’t cut it.
But he went to Ryeowook first, because telling himself he was being rational was taking too long. Ryeowook gave him a time to be at the restaurant, so Ryeowook could take his break and they could talk in person.
The man who greeted him seemed familiar, and Kyuhyun squinted to be sure he was right.
“I’m here to meet with Ryeowook, one of the- Oh. You’re Jongwoon, right?”
“Yes.”
“Yeah. Ryeowook told me about you,” Kyuhyun cleared his throat to hide the chuckle as Jongwoon’s eyes widened.
“Oh. Uh.” Jongwoon cleared his throat. “He did?”
Kyuhyun grinned. “Yeah. Maybe we can all get together sometime.”
“Sure!” Jongwoon agreed. “You’re his friend, so I just wanted to tell you. I’m taking good care of him. I mean, I will.”
He wasn’t sure which of them was going to out-awkward the other, when Kyuhyun caught sight of Ryeowook out of the corner of his eye.
“Nice seeing you again,” Kyuhyun said, and beelined for Ryeowook.
“Just in time,” Ryeowook said, leading him to a quiet corner of the break room.
“So Jongwoon. Seems nice.”
“He is. Don’t give me that look, Kyuhyun. Tell me what got you all worked up on the phone.”
He didn’t think his face was doing anything out of the ordinary as he tried not to grin. Or maybe it was just that. But right, his problems.
“I started seeing that guy I told you about. But…I think I might like someone else.”
“Your boss?” Ryeowook asked, leaning forward. And didn’t seem the least bit surprised at Kyuhyun’s nod. He wouldn’t have been surprised if Ryeowook had been suspecting for a while. “So you’re going after two guys?”
“It’s not like I’m dating them both! The dates were fun. But Zhou Mi- It’s just, having those feelings.”
And it felt weird saying it out loud, or even thinking it.
And Ryeowook was looking at him with a healthy dose of sympathy. “You know, you can have dates, and feelings, with the same guy.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’ve been thinking,” Kyuhyun muttered.
Ryeowook was nice enough not to point out how obvious it was. Another guy came in, and almost ducked back out before Ryeowook waved him over.
“This is Henry, one of our new busboys. This is my friend, Kyuhyun.”
Henry greeted him in Korean that was a bit fumbley.
“Kyuhyun works for a dating site. You have a girlfriend?” Ryeowook asked Henry.
“I don’t.”
“You have a card to give him?” Ryeowook asked Kyuhyun.
He did, and handed it to Henry, who thanked him. “Heartstrings,” Henry said, his accent perfect. They shared a smile, before Henry went to sit at another table. Kyuhyun idly wondered if Ryeowook could just let Kyuhyun stay in the break room for a month, and just come in to feed him every so often.
“I need to get back to the kitchen,” Ryeowook said. “I need to finish prepping my station for dinner. You had your mind made up about Zhou Mi before you came, didn’t you?”
“I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t being stupid.”
“I liked him when he was here, and you know that,” Ryeowook said. “It’s your choice, Kyuhyun.”
He just had to make up his mind, and go with it.
***
But he figured he owed it to Donghae to tell him in person. He kept the invite light, but implied he had something important to talk about. He didn’t want to totally blindside Donghae.
He’d never been good about breaking it off with someone.
“Hey,” Donghae said, sliding in across from him.
“Hey,” Kyuhyun said. And his nerves boiled. “How’s it going?”
“Okay. You?”
Donghae’s eyebrows were drawn together slightly, giving him the look of a slightly worried puppy. And Kyuhyun kicked himself a little bit. That was the time to do it.
“I think you might have guessed already, but… I had a really good time on our dates. But, I don’t think we should go out again. Because I’m starting- have started to like someone else.”
And Kyuhyun frowned, having gotten through it, stutters and stops and all.
“Okay,” Donghae said, after a moment. “Who is it? If you don’t mind.”
“My boss. Which is kind of weird. He doesn’t know. And I don’t know what future there is in it.”
“He’s straight?”
“No, he’s not,” Kyuhyun said. Or he’d be having a different kind of crisis.
“In a relationship?”
“No. He’s single.”
Donghae squinted as though there was something he wasn’t being told. “Does he have two heads? Six ears? Is he an alien? Covered in hair?”
Kyuhyun laughed, squeezing his eyes tight even at the thought. “No. He’s just my…boss.”
“So instead of you telling me ‘it’s not you, it’s me,’ you’re saying, ‘it’s not you, it’s him,’ huh?”
Kyuhyun grimaced. “It’s my fault, for not realizing sooner. I’m sorry for that.”
“Jump him,” Donghae advised. “He’ll get your point really fast.”
Kyuhyun felt his ears go hot, among other parts of his face. “Yeah, that’s probably…Maybe. I’m sorry about this.”
Donghae shook his head. “I mean, I’m disappointed, because I had a lot of fun with you, too. But I understand. You can’t help who you like. Besides, at least you figured it out before we maybe got serious. Hey, what’s he look like? Your boss?”
Kyuhyun carefully loaded the site, showing off Zhou Mi’s recently updated picture with his fake glasses and a smile. Kyuhyun hadn’t stooped to saving a picture on his phone quite yet. He watched as Donghae studied his fingers, before looking back up at Kyuhyun, with a half smile.
“Cute. So, if we’re not going out, that means you absolutely have to get him. You know that, right? I’ll be messaging you to make sure.”
He wasn’t sure if Donghae’s attitude made him feel better or worse. He’d braced himself for anger. Something maybe to assuage his feelings of guilt, and the fear of tossing aside a safety net. But maybe that was just more of what he deserved, while he got his head together.
“Good luck,” Donghae told them as they parted. And then shouted back at him a few moments later, “Go get him!”
He laughed, and made his way to his train, still jittery from the anxiety of the meeting. Though he guessed Donghae was right. If he was giving up a relationship on the sole basis of another potential one, then he needed to make a move. He just wasn’t sure how soon.
***
Tension was across Kyuhyun’s shoulders as he took a seat beside Zhou Mi’s desk. He’d been the one to request the meeting, and he was trying to remember what all he had to say. Not telling Zhou Mi about Donghae wasn’t an option. In fact, he almost saw it as a stepping stone. Some kind of step two, in his multi-step plan. A plan he contemplated as Zhou Mi wrapped up a call, and Kyuhyun split his time between examining the dangling straps on Zhou Mi’s outbox, and looking at Zhou Mi himself. Zhou Mi’s shirt was simple, white and plain, and it suited him. Open at the collar, and Kyuhyun wondered if he’d be out of line with a compliment. Maybe compliments ought to be the next step. Though, step three, by right, might ought to have been asking Zhou Mi out. But Kyuhyun was taking things in phases. It was a long plan, not a short one. And it was buying him time. I really enjoy spending time with you, and I think you do, too, so…
“Sorry about that,” Zhou Mi said as he hung up. “You said you had updates?”
“Yeah. I wanted to let you know that I’m not going to be seeing Donghae any more.”
Zhou Mi’s eyebrows rose, a natural kind of surprise. “Really? I thought you were getting along well.”
“Yeah, we were. I was the one who called it off. We didn’t connect like I’d hoped.”
That was at least partially the truth. Twisted a little further, they hadn’t connected like he had with Zhou Mi. Donghae wasn’t Zhou Mi. His only fatal flaw.
“Okay,” Zhou Mi said. “Is there anything else you can tell me? So I can understand, maybe make a better match next time?”
“Could we wait a while on that?” Kyuhyun asked, breathing out. He didn’t think the middle of work was the best place for awkward feeling confessionals, but he also didn’t want to be turning down dates while he figured out how he was going to tell Zhou Mi in the first place. If Zhou Mi had read into all the time they’d spent together, too, it wouldn’t exactly be a surprise.
Maybe even a relief.
He smiled as Zhou Mi nodded at him.
“Of course. I’ll update your file and keep my eyes open for anything, but it’s good to step back and re-evaluate. Just let me know, okay? If you think of anything that’d help, you can email me, too.”
Maybe he could ask Zhou Mi out by email, too.
Zhou Mi’s smile was so earnest. So helpful. And Kyuhyun tried not to ball his fists as he retreated to his desk. Utter defeat. Clutch of anxiety. Sliver of hope. Another movie, maybe. Inserting little jokes, like how funny, this is just like a date.
But those daydreams lasted all of an hour, until Zhou Mi emerged from his office in his jacket, waving at Eunhyuk and telling them both that he’d see them tomorrow.
Zhou Mi didn’t meet Kyuhyun’s eyes before he left, even though the question of why Zhou Mi was leaving was plainly written on Kyuhyun’s face. There was still another hour to go, and Zhou Mi so rarely left early.
“That’s really shitty timing,” Eunhyuk muttered, as he dropped a folder onto Kyuhyun’s desk.
“What?”
“Him getting that email from his idiot ex so close to him going to get laid. Hopefully his judgement isn’t skewed.”
Zhou Mi’s night out. His one night stand. It hit Kyuhyun in the head, and in the gut. Suddenly it wasn’t a funny quirk of his boss any more. He could see Zhou Mi getting hit on by all manner of idiots, and he had to bite his lip to keep the sickness from racing across his face.
“That’s tonight?” he asked, and knew there wasn’t any other answer.
“Same night as always. I wish I could put him on a leash.”
Though Eunhyuk clearly wasn’t speaking to him any more as he walked away.
Zhou Mi leaving to get ready, to dress nice and go out. Drink, dance, who knew. Look for a guy to take home, go home with. Zhou Mi’s fingers slipping through someone else’s. Someone touching Zhou Mi’s hair, drawing his laugh.
He’d called it off with Donghae, hoping to circumvent feelings like that. Not get slapped in the face with them almost immediately.
His pulse was leaping as he clacked randomly at keys and made random symbols on the screen. Very indicative of the storm of realizations that was heading through his head. Logic told him he had no right to feel half the things he did. Zhou Mi had every right to go out. Maybe he wouldn’t have, if Kyuhyun had said something. He’d just created his own torture. Every time he told himself he should just give in, his conversation with Donghae wouldn’t let him sink behind it.
Some faceless, meaningless stranger pressing Zhou Mi back on a bed played over and over in his mind until it was time to go. And how to stop that from happening, how to stop himself from thinking of it, or doing anything about it, chased after him.
***
The sheets had just warmed to Zhou Mi’s body, book comfortably propped, when pounding on the door had his heart leaping. No, someone wasn't there trying to murder him, he reasoned. But he cursed himself for being stupid as he stumbled up, hoping the whole floor hadn’t been woken, leg caught in the sheet for a second. Answering the door in his underwear wasn’t an option. He grabbed a pair of shorts off the top of his clothes pile and staggered into them.
“Coming!”
He didn’t even bother closing them, too intent on getting the door open before another knock could sound.
The warmer air of the hall hit the skin of his chest as he pushed out the door. And even as winded as he felt right then, the man panting there looked even more so.
Kyuhyun, a hand to his chest as though he was trying to hold it in.
“Kyuhyun!”
And with a gulp, Kyuhyun seemed to gather himself.
“You’re alone?”
“Yes? Of course I am. Is something wrong? Why- Come in. Come in.”
“No.” Kyuhyun sounded like he was in pain, his whole face tightening. “Sorry. I have have to go. Good night.”
And Zhou Mi was left there, holding the door and staring at Kyuhyun’s retreating back.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairings: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun, Tablo/Eunhyuk
Other: various
Rating: R
Genre: AU, crime, romance
Warnings: violence, death (not of main characters)
Summary: Zhou Mi’s focus is Heartstrings, a dating company where love is more than just a guarantee - it's in Zhou Mi’s blood. A matchmaking gift he’s used with gladness, until a series of murders has it shaping his nightmares.
Eunhyuk, his business partner, can’t let go of his tumultuous past. But finding a man he’s been looking for over half his life has repercussions not only for him, but for Zhou Mi and their future.
Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four * Chapter Five * Chapter Six * Chapter Seven * Chapter Eight * Chapter Nine * Chapter Ten * Chapter Eleven
***
Sitting at a desk with shoes and socks on, answering and organizing emails, wasn’t nearly as exciting as staying at the beach. Kyuhyun had all the sand laundered off of him and his clothes before the night was out when he got back. And it was certainly nice to laze. There was a certain quota of wrestling in the ocean and walking around that he was okay with. He did get small withdrawal pains after a while, from the computer. Being busy and active made him forget that. Of course the emails were a welcome task, beside the looming open house tasks that Eunhyuk had saddled him with. He had lists from caterers - Ryeowook’s restaurant had been chosen for part of it - and decorators, RSVPs. Everything he and Eunhyuk were dealing with as the date approached. He was avoiding going over the last of it until he absolutely had to.
But it got him through the day, giving him just enough time to go home and change, for his date with Donghae. They were meeting to get a snack, before seeing a movie. Not too late, because Kyuhyun had an early morning, but something, since they hadn’t seen each other in a while. Kyuhyun wondered if there would be the same ease there as there was before as he jogged up the subway stairs toward street level. Donghae saw him first, leaning against the railing and looking down. And he got one of Donghae’s grins as they passed before joining up at the top of the stairs.
“Good to see you,” Donghae said, and there was a half hug, half pat on the back in greeting. They’d done quite a bit of talking online, some texting. A little flirting, he guessed, but sometimes he wasn’t really wise to that. “Good trip?”
“Really good,” Kyuhyun said. “We went where there weren’t a whole lot of people, and the weather stayed nice.”
“I wish my boss would take me somewhere. I haven’t been to the beach in forever. What do you want to eat?”
Anything. Everything. “What’s closest to the theater?” he asked, so they wouldn’t miss their showtime.
Donghae laughed. “Everything. But there’s fast food I think? And we can get snacks at the theater.”
“Popcorn.”
They shared a high-five at the thought. But they both got chicken, the most portable thing there was, since the time was getting short to the start of the movie.
“Sorry we haven’t been able to meet again before now,” Donghae said, leaning beside him against the outside of the building. “Work has been crazy. I was telling one of my friends, and they thought it was really cool what you did. Most people have really normal jobs, so it’s fun to talk about.”
Kyuhyun couldn’t disagree. It had certainly brought curiosity, and some ribbing, from the friends he’d told. His parents were gently thrilled, probably hoping he’d use the services and find a nice girl to settle down with. He wasn’t exactly telling them that he was using the services, and was instead finding nice boys. Eventually, he’d have to tell them. But not something he wanted to consider on a date.
And the movie was good, a horror flick that Donghae had chosen. Kyuhyun really hadn’t had an opinion, since it seemed like any time he really wanted to go to the movies, there was nothing he wanted to see playing. It was just nice to sit in an air conditioned room, amid screams and tension, and share popcorn. Though he had his own drink. One step at a time. It was less personal than the first date, though their hands did brush occasionally, going for popcorn at the same time. Donghae’s gasps, and nervous laughter. Kyuhyun eventually let his brain shut off, and just enjoy it.
“Whoa, when the doors flew open, I thought I was going to just jump out of the theater!” Donghae exclaimed as they were exiting onto the street after the movie. “Do you think that was CG?”
“Maybe. But the ghost oozing through the wall was really gross.”
“Ew, I know, wasn’t it? So great. I love seeing movies in the theater.”
“The surround sound,” Kyuhyun said with some reverence.
“Yeah. So I really hope my work stops being stupid so we can meet up again, soon. But you’re getting really busy, too.”
“Lots of work to be done. But, it’ll go okay,” Kyuhyun said. It was just luck that they both had time free so soon after Kyuhyun got back. “I’ll let you know, so whenever you have free…”
Donghae glanced around them, pulling Kyuhyun off to the side. Not totally inconspicuous but better than the middle of the sidewalk. “Thanks for meeting me. It was really fun.”
“It was,” Kyuhyun agreed.
And there was that moment of being unsure, both of them moving. Kyuhyun could feel that Donghae was smiling, just a bit, as they kissed. They laughed at each other, glancing around to see if anyone had seen. And no one had. So Kyuhyun pressed his lips to Donghae’s one last time.
“Now it feels like it was a date,” Donghae said, grinning at him.
***
The morning after that date, was the first morning he went into Heartstrings in the morning instead of after lunch. The open house, and extra work from it, had Eunhyuk asking if they could add extra hours that week especially. Needing more of Kyuhyun’t time on top of his everyday tasks. And that was fine. Kyuhyun was there on time, worked the morning as he’d planned.
But it was the walk of dread as he went back into Zhou Mi’s office.
“Sorry,” Zhou Mi said. “This won’t take but a few minutes. I know you had your date last night, and I like to talk to people when it’s fresh.”
“That’s fine,” Kyuhyun said, and held out the bundle in his hands. “I went ahead and washed the pajamas you lent me. So, thanks.”
“Oh!” Zhou Mi said, taking them from Kyuhyun. “Thank you! You didn’t have to do that. I’d almost forgotten about them. Sit, sit. So, how did last night go?”
Kyuhyun sat, examining the bold tree pattern on Zhou Mi’s shirt instead of looking up at him. Made him want to go to the beach again. A tropical one.
“Great. We had a snack, and saw a movie. Just an early night since I knew I was coming in early.”
Zhou Mi nodded, his eyes full of interest. “And what’d you see?”
“‘The House in the Hollows?’” Kyuhyun told him.
“Ooh. I’ve heard good things about that. Was it scary?”
“Made walking out in the dark seem a bit weird!”
Zhou Mi almost shuddered, as if he was delighted by the idea. “Though it’s always nicer if you’re walking out with someone else. So that’s great. And then I have to ask… Kiss?”
Zhou Mi’s interest, his questions, would’ve been funny, or even fun, in any other kind of situation. And there was nothing like sitting in front of a man he wanted to roll on, while talking about a date with another man. If the rolling on was all it was, that would be one thing. His conscience twinged at him, and he shoved at it. He was trying. He’d had two, very nice dates with Donghae. He really was trying.
“Yeah, I kissed him. It was good. I enjoyed it.”
You make me think about you having sex with other men, he thought a bit drolly. A kiss is kind of lame in comparison, if you care.
“Good,” Zhou Mi said, and made some kind of magic matchmaker mark. “Okay. I think that’s all the questions I had on that. You’ve made plans to meet again?”
“Just that we we’ll try and fit it in. So I’ll let you know.”
“Great. I’ll let you get back to work now. I know you have a long way to go,” Zhou Mi said, half winking.
It made him grin, and there was that wistfulness. There was that question in the back of his mind, if Zhou Mi would’ve gone with him to see the movie, if he’d asked.
***
His second full day at Heartstrings had Kyuhyun finding his rhythm quicker. Helping the day go a little faster, as he navigated order lists, and fielded calls getting things set up for the open house. Making sure all staff was confirmed, event space. Each thing he marked off in green on his spreadsheet was a relief to him, as much as it was to Eunhyuk.
Normal office sounds were Eunhyuk typing or on the phone, and the bubbling of the fish tank. And there were the sounds from Zhou Mi’s office. Most days, there was a steady stream of telephone meetings, or those held in person. But a laugh had him turning his head. Maybe it was heightened alert after the episode with the nightmare, but he had no idea what would cause that kind of response. He’d never heard quite that kind of laugh before from Zhou Mi, and he looked over at Eunhyuk to see if he was imagining things. There was not amusement in it, at all.
“That’s not a good sign,” Eunhyuk said. But neither of them moved.
They didn’t have to, as the printer whirred, and the sound of the rollers on Zhou Mi’s chair gave their distinctive sound. Zhou Mi appeared seconds later, crossing the room to grab the paper and brandishing it at Eunhyuk.
“You will never guess what this is.”
Eunhyuk just stared up at him. “I’ll take your word on that. What is it?”
“If you had to pick one guy in the entire world that you’d never expect to get in contact with me, who would it be? Or…the one you’d want least? Either.”
It took a moment, but Eunhyuk’s face began to darken in understanding. “He wouldn’t. Has it been that long?”
“Apparently! You have to hear this out loud to get the full impact. ‘I’ve been thinking a lot the last month, and I think I made the wrong decision,’” Zhou Mi read. “‘I thought the military was going to make things clearer for me, but I realized I’d turned aside the only person who loved me for who I am, not for who I “should” be. My parents met me, and asked me if they should help me look for a wife. I had to tell them I wasn’t ready, and I realized I wished you had been there instead. Is it selfish to hope you are still single and still feel the same way about me?’”
An ex-boyfriend, Kyuhyun had been assuming, and realized he was right as Zhou Mi read with a peculiar mixture of anger and mockery. He’d known there had been a guy from Zhou Mi’s past that had messed him up, but it was a different thing hearing it. The not so idle wondering of what the guy looked like. And though Zhou Mi had just read why the guy was back, he was still baffled at the email. And Eunhyuk was as well, to the extreme.
“But what happens the next fucking time he realizes his family will judge him?” Eunhyuk raged. “What self-indulged sack of-“
Zhou Mi caught Eunhyuk’s arm as he paced by, holding it. “It sounds like he really meant it, and if it’s true, then I’m glad he might be taking steps to own his own happiness.”
“Surely he doesn’t think you’ll go running back. It’s like he wanted to get rid of you so none of his army pals would get a whiff that he might be gay, and then it’s fine to play around with you until it’s time for wedding bells for real,” Eunhyuk told him.
“It sounds like he wants to meet. Maybe I owe him that, so he can move on.”
“No!” Eunhyuk almost shouted. “No. This is not the time to indulge your masochism. He earned his right to move on when he ripped out your heart, stomped on it, and handed it back! Stop acting like you’re the one who has something to make up for! Kyuhyun, you can see sense, right?”
Kyuhyun jerked as though he’d been touched, startled to be drawn into the conversation he’d only been an innocent bystander to.
“An email seems like it’d be enough,” he said carefully. “Like, glad you came back well, but I’ve moved on and think it’s good for you to also. And please don’t contact me again.”
“If he’s still struggling with his sexuality-“
“Send him a link to a support group,” Eunhyuk said firmly. “If he gets to you in person, hell. Telling you all his sob stories, and making you feel guilty for not magically making him better. Turns on the waterworks, and suddenly you’re in bed with a whole other layer of guilt.”
“I’m not that easy,” Zhou Mi said. And there was a note of anger in his voice.
“Yes. You are that easy.”
Zhou Mi shook his head. “I have to take care of this my way.”
“He’s already given you all the regrets you need. You need to let him go. Zhou Mi… You weren’t hoping he’d get out, and change his mind, were you?”
“Maybe right at first. But even then I knew we’d never be right together again. I was angry, and hurt. And this just makes me remember all of that.”
“Then tell him that. In an email. That you were really hurt, and that he needs to find someone new, and that if he has any fondness for the memory of what you had together, then he should do his best to move on, far far away from you.” And Eunhyuk paused. “You could also tell him that I’ll kick his balls off if he tries to contact you again, but that sounds really angry.”
That had all of them laughing.
Kyuhyun looked back to his desk as Eunhyuk stepped close to Zhou Mi, speaking too quietly for Kyuhyun to hear. He spotted his salvation in a short stack of files he needed to put back in Zhou Mi’s cabinet. Waiting a few moments, arguing with himself, before standing and intending to give them some privacy. But it was his luck and his timing that Zhou Mi met him halfway, an apologetic smile on his face.
“Thank you,” Zhou Mi said, using both hands to straighten Kyuhyun’s tie. “And I’m really sorry you have to deal with all this emotional drama. That’s not a part of your job description.”
He gripped Zhou Mi’s elbow, hoping to infuse a little solidarity. It ended up almost overbalancing them into each other, and he spent a breathless moment staring into Zhou Mi’s collar.
“I don’t think you should worry. We have to stick together. I know who to go for advice if I have any exes trying to come back where they’re not needed.”
“This is not as your boss, okay?” Zhou Mi said, and enfolded Kyuhyun in a hug. It was good to note that Zhou Mi didn’t seem shaky or overly emotional. Pulling Kyuhyun in with surprising strength and gripping him close.
“You shouldn’t let him drag you back there again,” Kyuhyun said softly, patting Zhou Mi’s back.
“I just need to carry you and Eunhyuk around in my pockets,” Zhou Mi said, and laughed a little as he let Kyuhyun go.
“Not until you get bigger pockets,” Eunhyuk insisted from across the room.
But Kyuhyun got the files put away, and back at his desk. The beach wasn’t anywhere near as lively as the office, that was for certain. And he shoved aside the worry that the email had brought him.
***
Streamlining was something Kyuhyun was very into, especially if it was something that saved him effort. The way things were done was fascinating to him, but he’d always enjoyed a challenge on how to do things better. And having a boss or teacher look at him with appreciation didn’t hurt his drive in the least.
He was hard at work fiddling with a spreadsheet and pivot table when Zhou Mi came in from lunch, making for his phone. The new trend had been for Zhou Mi to leave it on Kyuhyun’s desk when he left, which meant he got to keep it a few steps longer, and retrieve it a few steps earlier. Eunhyuk had just rolled his eyes, and mumbled about codependency.
Zhou Mi had asked Eunhyuk if he was the pot or the kettle.
After Kyuhyun had greeted Zhou Mi as always, like he did every day, Zhou Mi seemed to leave. He distinctly heard several steps beyond his chair, and was starting to tinker again. But he didn’t get far.
“Hey,” Zhou Mi said, getting down into his space from behind him, and setting Kyuhyun’s whole body on alert. Both at Zhou Mi looming over him, and his proximity. “I was thinking on my way up. Did you watch the movie yet?”
Movie. Movie. Oh, right, the movie Zhou Mi had insisted he had to see, but then they hadn’t got to watch. He’d forgotten he still had the DVD in his laptop.
“No?” he said, not daring to turn his head since he could hear Zhou Mi breathing not far from his ear.
“Slow!” Zhou Mi accused, and Kyuhyun felt the wiggle as Zhou Mi laughed. “No, but you should. Or! I could bring something to eat and we can watch it like we meant to. It’s so fun to see people react to it.”
Zhou Mi in his apartment. His face drew up a little at the thought. Not entirely a bad thing, but he wondered what state he’d left it in. Zhou Mi. His apartment.
“Sure? I’m free any night?”
“Oh. Then tomorrow tonight maybe? Email me directions, or I’ll just come with you.”
No grass was going to grow under Zhou Mi’s feet. Kyuhyun jittered out a laugh.
“Sure. That’s fine.”
At least Zhou Mi hadn’t suggested that night. He’d have a full day to orient himself to the idea and prepare for his sacred alone time to be invaded. His face said everything as Zhou Mi walked away with a pumped fist. He’d have felt a bit happy himself if he managed to get through the shock of being dive bombed with a movie- Outing. Invitation. That sounded better than date. Even if it was friendly.
Movement had him looking up and he realized Eunhyuk was looking at him. He nodded hastily and turned back to his own work. He flushed like’d gotten caught doing something he shouldn’t. Eunhyuk hadn’t looked mad, but the expression hadn’t seemed pleased either. Perhaps it was that time was being wasted when both Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi could be working. But he put it aside, and got to work.
***
Kyuhyun had a little futon, a gift from his parents. It was big enough for them both to sit on. His TV was nice enough, but overall his apartment wasn’t huge. But it didn’t have to be. They were going to eat, watch a movie, not hold a dancing class. If his brain hadn’t been so held hostage by Zhou Mi’s suggestion, he’d have steered them toward meeting at Zhou Mi’s apartment instead. Unless Zhou Mi just really wanted to see where Kyuhyun lived. He half suspected that was the truth, from Zhou Mi’s smile as they walked in. Zhou Mi had been ready within twenty minutes of Kyuhyun’s usual leaving time, some kind of record. Eunhyuk had left first, pausing beside Kyuhyun’s desk for a moment before saying goodnight.
“Eunhyuk had plans or he’d have come as well,” Zhou Mi said as they unpacked the takeout they’d picked up. “I made him watch this, too, but… I won’t tell you what he said until you’ve seen it. Oh, the lights! We have to turn out the lights.”
Kyuhyun set up his little table by the light of the TV so they had a place to set their food and drinks, and queued up the movie. The first of it he’d seen on the bus, but as the movie grew more and more tense, he nearly forgot to eat. Glancing over at Zhou Mi who had a pillow clutched to his chest and was staring at the screen with huge eyes.
And he’d seen it before. It made Kyuhyun laugh inside.
The blip of a siren had him jerking, the abandoned remnants of his meal jostling on the table. And suddenly everything he thought was true about the plot, suddenly wasn’t.
“Whoa,” he said, riveted on the screen.
“I know!” Zhou Mi said, his voice pitched high and excited.
His mind raced, putting together plot points and clues, the laugh stuck in his throat as he realized what was going on. Not a movie to be scared of, but to think on. He was still blinking about it when the credits started rolling. And he didn’t have a moment to process as Zhou Mi turned to him, all expectation.
“What did you think?”
“It was good, interesting. I think I need to watch it again just to see.” And catch all the hints he’d missed.
“I know,” Zhou Mi said. “I watched it twice the first day I saw it. I love scary movies but this just…the wall! I was so confused, and then I got it, and it made me laugh. Eunhyuk thought it was kind of stupid, but…”
Zhou Mi gestured as though to say he thought some of what Eunhyuk liked was stupid, too. And he lost track of time in their movie discussion, as they moved from what they’d seen to others. Only realizing how long they’d spent, when his “You have 15 minutes to go to bed or you’re toast,” alarm went off. An alarm he usually ignored, but the sound was enough to make Zhou Mi look at his own phone and yip at the time.
“Ah! I should be going. I’m sure Eunhyuk will be after us both tomorrow since the open house is so soon.”
There was a flurry of movement as they both got up, turning on the light and throwing away trash. Even then Zhou Mi kept talking, to Kyuhyun’s amusement. He wondered how it’d gotten to be that way. That one day Zhou Mi had made him mostly nervous, and then he could lose track of himself just talking to him.
Zhou Mi shrugged into his jacket, and Kyuhyun handed him the DVD.
“Thanks for telling me about it. It was fun.”
“I enjoyed seeing it with you. Your face at the monster! Yes. And it was fun to talk, too,” Zhou Mi said, laughing down into his bag as he tucked away the DVD in a notebook. “I’m glad…”
Zhou Mi faltered, and waved away his last words as Kyuhyun blinked at him.
“Have a safe trip home?”
“I’ll take a taxi,” Zhou Mi informed him, and triple checked for keys and phone. “See you tomorrow afternoon!”
“Yeah.”
And he stood stock still as Zhou Mi’s hand slid down his arm, from elbow to wrist. A perfectly casual touch as Zhou Mi retreated into the hallway. One that Zhou Mi probably did to all his friends, but that had Kyuhyun’s mind spasming. He wasn’t wholly unaccustomed to touch, but with Zhou Mi it was different. It was. His argument fell through, because Zhou Mi shoved at people’s shoulders and tapped out words as spoke to Eunhyuk. It was not casual as much as it was affectionate, and connecting, and from what Kyuhyun had seen, measured. Zhou Mi did not touch strangers or clients like that.
Friendly. That was all.
And twenty minutes later, Kyuhyun’s phone buzzed.
“Home! Thanks again for tonight! ^^ Sleep well!” Zhou Mi had texted.
He debated responding for far longer than he needed to.
“Thanks, you too!” he wrote back. And told himself it was nothing but courtesy. The difference between the movie with Donghae, in the yawning theater, and sitting close to Zhou Mi, couldn’t even be counted. His reaction to Zhou Mi’s presence. His boss who had him dating someone else. That was what made sense. People didn’t flirt or try to spend time with someone they were interested in, while still trying to get them to date other people. And he fell asleep almost entirely convinced.
***
Things went smoother with another set of hands, Eunhyuk thought with a sigh. And it wasn't as though he didn't know that before, or that Zhou Mi had been totally unhelpful in the past. But there were often times when Zhou Mi was busy doing the matching - what kept them afloat. Which left a lot of the planning for parties and or open houses, or even small get togethers and mixers for their clients to mingle, to him. He'd become half party planner, half matchmaker, and had even taken a few classes on how to do it more effectively. Zhou Mi simply didn't have the time, or the brainpower to do too many things at once. They each had their strengths, and he was not unhappy with his role. But that was another reason to realize what an asset Kyuhyun was.
Because instead of Zhou Mi tossing him a few minutes here and there, he basically had a dedicated right hand. Both to organize certain things while he ran down their suppliers, or do the actual running himself. Sometimes physically, since he'd sent Kyuhyun out to find a florist who turned off her phone at the most inconvenient moment.
It was one of the biggest open houses they'd had, to stir interest and create buzz. Over a hundred on the guest list, many of those RSVPing right on schedule. They were serving light appetizers and some cute little desserts like Kyuhyun had first brought them. Wine, flowers, traditional music being played live. He knew Kyuhyun's eyes started to glaze over at some points, but they managed to break it up in chunks. It meant coming from sun and the beach, to staying in their cave. Kyuhyun’s extra hours just helping make sure everything was set perfectly had been a lifesaver. They were twins of high pressure party planning. Zhou Mi was so used to addressing them together, he'd actually called Kyuhyun “Kyuhyuk” once, and almost caused a riot in the office. Maybe they were doing the same jobs but they hadn't merged into the same person yet.
Zhou Mi’s mission was as it always was. Be the charming figurehead, and chat up people. Kyuhyun was go-between for catering and any problems. Making sure food and drink was available as planned, and any other miscellaneous things. Answering questions, though he knew that was not the part that thrilled Kyuhyun’s imagination the most.
And his job, enviably, was to mingle and keep an eye out, and do everything else.
Stickers on their lapels declared them staff, and he skirted the room, keeping an eye out for any problems. The rented computers, set up for people to check their profiles or share them, or watch tutorial videos, were all in use. People were mingling, talking.
“Hey stranger,” he heard from beside him, and turned with a smile at Sooyoung’s voice.
“Hey you. I though Zhou Mi was fixing you up without parties like this?”
Sooyoung laughed, threading her arm through Eunhyuk’s. “He is, but he also invited me to the party.”
“Ah, he was making sure there was some life to it,” Eunhyuk teased. And he met Kyuhyun’s eyes from across the room, getting a nod that all was well on Kyuhyun’s end as well. “You’re going to give all these guys unrealistic expectations.”
She just rolled her eyes at him. “I heard you guys got away from the city for a while. How was that?”
He wondered for what other reason Sooyoung was there. To pad out the party, sure. But also perhaps to pry. And he wasn’t sure if that was more on Zhou Mi’s end, or Sooyoung’s. He’d known them both long enough to know that they were interested to the point of nosiness in everyone’s love lives. Zhou Mi knew all Eunhyuk had to tell, so he figured Sooyoung was more the cavalry, there to show support. But what neither of them knew was that his problems were less Tablo-related and more Zhou Mi-related. Swapping seats on the bus hadn’t been because he’d wanted to get away from Tablo, though he knew that was what Zhou Mi had thought at first.
It was because that every moment he sat there, and it was good - he realize that Zhou Mi was settling in beside Kyuhyun. And the problem with knowing Zhou Mi as long as he had, he knew the signs. Zhou Mi reaching to touch Kyuhyun’s elbow, watching carefully for his laughs, or in general wanting to be close. Kyuhyun wasn’t a bad guy, and certainly didn’t give Eunhyuk the bad feelings that he’d gotten about Zhou Mi’s crushes in the past. It didn’t eliminate the fact that Kyuhyun was their employee, and that Zhou Mi was supposedly matching him. Equally plausible was that it was a fleeting crush, and that he’d feel stupid for having worried. But if he’d learned anything about being Zhou Mi’s friend, it was that it came with extra helpings of worry that Zhou Mi was protecting himself from possible emotional trauma. And Eunhyuk got invested in that, because his emotional trauma usually meant Eunhyuk having emotional trauma as well. But none of that was something he could talk about to Sooyoung without giving up some pretty big secrets. He’d find time to talk to Zhou Mi personally, before things got out of hand.
And he had another jolt as he saw Zhou Mi check in with Kyuhyun, and the expression on Zhou Mi’s face as Kyuhyun turned.
“I think there’s a guy staring at you,” Sooyoung murmured.
“Let me know when he’s not,” Eunhyuk said, amused, and feeling like he was back in grade school.
And when Sooyoung did, heat surged up the sides of his face before he looked back to her. And what she saw there told her everything.
“So that’s the elusive Tablo? So I finally get to see what he looks like. He looks smart. Are you sure that’s the right guy?”
Eunhyuk squinted at her. “Are you trying to insult yourself, or is that just a side effect?”
She laughed. “You had to have at least one exception. He’s going to see you with your hair like that, so you might as well take me over there and introduce me.”
It had been exactly what he’d planned on doing, and there was no point putting it off until Tablo found him. But he kept Sooyoung close as they walked, keeping an eye on things. And getting a smile as Tablo caught sight of him.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Eunhyuk said, trying not to take all of Tablo’s face in at once. The tug of his lips, and his open collar and sleek jacket. If they’d been alone, maybe he’d have wanted to touch. Grab a hand, or something. He’d been too busy to even make plans with the event upcoming, too drained. And he was hungry for the contact. What the occasional text or email could not satisfy.
“I figured I’d come out and show my support. Check out your food,” Tablo said, teasing.
And Sooyoung squeezed his arm, reminding him that he wasn’t just there to soak up Tablo’s presence.
“Oh. This is Choi Sooyoung. A good friend of mine, and of Zhou Mi’s also. Ah. This is Tablo, who you’ve… heard of.”
Letting them both know Sooyoung knew a bit about the situation. And it was odd to stand there and watch them greet each other, some facets of his far past and recent history colliding. He’d been in bed with Sooyoung more than a few times, and hadn’t yet even gotten to a proper make out session with Tablo. For some reason that knowledge seemed to revolve around him like an oversized planet and jacked up his anxiety beyond all proportions.
“I need to go say hello to Zhou Mi,” Sooyoung said, being wise beyond what Eunhyuk was able to relay. “I’ll see you before I go.”
And she left, sleek in her party dress and turning a few male heads as she passed. But Tablo’s eyes were on him, not Sooyoung, and that startled him as he looked back.
“A girlfriend?” Tablo asked. And perhaps it was just that obvious.
“Former. We’re friends now. And she knows there is someone else.”
Tablo cleared his throat, lifting his glass of champagne and letting his smile curve behind it for a moment. “I wonder who that is?”
“I’ve been neglecting him. Do you think he knows?”
“He knows. Are you going to be busy after this finishes up? Or should we wait another day?”
Most of the cleanup would be done by their contractors. Most of what he would do would be to answer any straggler questions, and eventually deal with new sign-ups. But that would be a morning task, besides packing up their equipment and supplies and taking them back to the office. What he saw of the numbers pleased him.
“It’ll go another hour at least, then packing up. I can come by.”
“Just text if you’re too tired.”
He leaned in until Tablo’s face got closer, close enough to whisper. “It’s good to see you.”
That zinging tingle again as Tablo’s eyes widened. Surprised and yet not. It wasn’t a secret, but also not something he’d said in the texts they’d shared. Normally just workday updates, status on how they were feeling, such as tired or hungry. Showing concern. The little ways that said he cared, in telling Tablo he should eat or suggesting they should overthrow all the bosses. Since Tablo knew who Eunhyuk’s “boss” was, it was even more amusing to send. Zhou Mi would’ve pretended offense, but Eunhyuk knew better.
And Eunhyuk felt more empowered than he had maybe from the moment he realized that not all his need to know Tablo was strictly as friends. He passed Zhou Mi with a smile, and let the anticipation fuel his energy the rest of the evening.
***
His breath was coming fast in front of Tablo’s door. Exhausted, happy, satisfied. Anticipating. And he got his wish as Tablo opened the door quickly, relaxed in sweatpants and a t-shirt. And it was as attractive to him as Tablo in slacks and a dress shirt had been before. He’d texted Tablo that he was on his way, and finally arrived.
“Hey, you finally made it,” Tablo said, helping him set aside his bag. “I made you a snack. If you’re hungry?”
“A snack sounds amazing. Don’t let your arm get too near me, or it’ll be in danger,” Eunhyuk warned.
“Oh really?” Tablo asked, raising his eyebrow. “Go, sit. Relax.”
He was brought a can of soda, and a plate of fruit and a sandwich. His stomach was growling far before he had a chance to dig in. He’d just barely picked up the sandwich when Tablo settled beside him, dropping an arm around his shoulders and getting it well in range. His skin contracted at the touch of Tablo’s fingers against his arm, and Tablo smiled, nearly winking.
“I’ll risk it.”
Some things were worth waiting for. Not that he got to do much talking as he was stuffing his face, watching whatever TV show Tablo had turned on. It was almost exactly like the night in the hotel had been. Sitting together. Dozing against each other. The week before, Zhou Mi’s raised and questioning eyebrow had made it clear he had thought something dirty had gone on until Eunhyuk had set him straight. But it was hard to think about making out when the time they’d really kissed, Tablo had backed off. Easing in was key. Easing in made him feel a little giddy. Taking care at each corner, like they were folding delicate origami. The picture of what they’d end up with, he didn’t know. But with the taste of peaches on his tongue, he turned, offering.
The kiss, greeting, welcoming. Tablo’s mouth warm against his, clinging to his. He shuddered as Tablo stroked his arm, and got a chuckle for it. And the look they shared told him Tablo knew exactly what he was doing. Another step, he thought, leaning in for another kiss.
But it was late, even from when he’d arrived. And the morning was looming far too close. It was regret that had him pulling away, getting a last kiss before he left to start unwinding. From the event, and from Tablo’s presence.
“Let’s do that again soon,” he texted Tablo as he made it to the subway.
And he knew they would.
***
With the open house, all the exhausting organization of it, behind them, Kyuhyun was glad to get back to routine. Working for Tablo before heading to Heartstrings. Trying to pass the image of Zhou Mi, in a crisp suit, mingling and chatting with his customers and potential customers. Several times through the night, Zhou Mi had come back around to Kyuhyun, just standing and getting a drink and checking in with him. As had Eunhyuk, but the feeling was totally different. The nerves it sent through him.
“I’m going to sleep away the rest of the weekend,” Zhou Mi had joked to him, as they were packing up the last of the supplies.
And Kyuhyun’s mind supplied all the memories of Zhou Mi sleeping against him.
But menial tasks, those were ones he was saddled with. The enviable Accounting of the Emails, was getting passed to Kyuhyun without a lot of fanfare. Kyuhyun occasionally wondered if Zhou Mi and Eunhyuk had meetings on what else they could pass on to fill Kyuhyun’s afternoons without making him lose his hair from stress. Making a database for Zhou Mi’s customer emails and replies was definitely something that Kyuhyun felt was possible. And his mind flew far ahead of Zhou Mi’s rambles, as he imagined a sortable, searchable, organized database that would have Zhou Mi singing praises and wondering why Kyuhyun hadn’t been consulted far before.
Between the three of them in things like that, he figured they knew about enough to be dangerous. But also enough, he thought anyway, to make some pretty great solutions.
And most of his attention was legitimately on the screen in front of him. Watching from beside Zhou Mi who was in Kyuhyun’s chair, as he walked Kyuhyun through his thoughts on how to make sure messages stayed together that were supposed to, and how Zhou Mi hoped it could be cross referenced and tagged. All of which had Kyuhyun humming in agreement and waiting for his turn to speak. According to Eunhyuk, Zhou Mi took a stab at it every few months and then got discouraged or busy. Apparently Zhou Mi wanted it done right, and it wasn’t something so needful that taking Eunhyuk’s time on it made sense. Enter Kyuhyun.
He had a lot of ideas, ideas he’d rather have implemented in private to show Zhou Mi in working order rather than waste his time, but Zhou Mi was sending him a very doe-eyed stare wanting to know what amazing ideas Kyuhyun had. Not in so many words, but he was reading between the lines where Zhou Mi was concerned.
He spoke quickly, wandering his finger down the screen from addresses to subjects.
“So if you click on a subject, you can pull up everything with that…”
Kyuhyun’s mouth kept moving with the technical babble that Zhou Mi seemed keen on. Or he thought Zhou Mi seemed keen on it, besides the part that Zhou Mi’s eyes had left the screen and paused somewhere in the vicinity of Kyuhyun’s mouth. He had to resist the urge to lick his lips, or make some kind of odd sound as his concentration left as steadily as Zhou Mi’s had.
“Zhou Mi?”
Zhou Mi blinked, eyes lifting to Kyuhyun’s.
“Right. I can sort and cross reference?”
That had been a few points back. And Zhou Mi seemed to realize that, shaking his head.
“Sorry. Sorry. I’m tired, today. No dreams, but not enough sleep. Why don’t you work on it a little, and send me an example and we’ll go from there?”
“Sure,” Kyuhyun said, and wondered exactly what had happened. “Oh. And I sorted the mail.”
He held out the sparse envelopes, an act he’d done so many times. Waiting for Zhou Mi to reach, to take. And Zhou Mi did, but not the way Kyuhyun expected. Zhou Mi’s hand raked up the back of his, as though Zhou Mi had overshot. He tried to adjust, their fingers tangling. And his eyes were doing double duty, staring up and then down to get some sense of what Zhou Mi was doing. It was barely two seconds of contact, and Zhou Mi stuttered out a laugh.
“I’m sorry. I have no idea where my head is. I can’t take your hand in with me.”
“I guess a third hand would be useful, but I need that,” Kyuhyun joked back.
“Thank you. Thanks for this.”
Maybe Kyuhyun was blind, but the awkward laugh, the way Zhou Mi’s hand rose to smooth down the back of his own hair as he walked away, it all spoke of embarrassment. Maybe because Zhou Mi had accidentally grabbed Kyuhyun’s hand. Maybe even for the touch itself. He could still feel Zhou Mi’s hand gripping his, fingertips across the backs of his fingers, and the gaze on his mouth. The tingle that had shot up his arm.
He kept that hand in his lap for some time.
***
In Zhou Mi’s office, a hand covered his face, and he sat very still. Breathing, reliving a touch that was nothing. Everything.
“Get yourself together,” he told himself.
It would’ve been nice if that worked. But he wasn’t counting on it.
***
Text messages from Zhou Mi.
Touches.
Movies.
Nights eating in or eating out together.
Relaxing together in the hammock.
Sleeping in the same bed.
Zhou Mi touching his hand.
Zhou Mi staring at him.
The mental list was getting harder to ignore. And those were only the things Kyuhyun could concretely place. There were a lot of reasons behind those. Moments that happened that should not have been them alone together. Eunhyuk canceling, chance. Zhou Mi being tired, or afraid. Zhou Mi being a nice guy, a friendly guy. He had explanations for everything. But even he began to see that leaping for explanations for each event maybe didn’t make as much sense as seeing a pattern in them.
Another problem was that many of those things depended on assuming things about Zhou Mi’s possible feelings. Whatever those were. It didn’t even begin to list what Kyuhyun thought, or wanted, or didn’t want. Or was scared to think about.
There was nothing wrong with Donghae. He was good looking, funny, fun to be around. Fun to talk to online, or on the phone. Interesting to text. The kiss hadn’t been blazing hot, but they’d been on the street.
But that right there had him considering. He had no idea how Zhou Mi kissed, but just the mere idea of kissing Zhou Mi had his breath catching. Imagining kissing Donghae was appealing. But in a totally different way.
Maybe some people could date a guy while trying to resolve feelings for another, but he wasn’t one of them. He could either shut Zhou Mi out as an option, or Donghae. And the choice had his head falling back. His insides felt like some weird monster, chewing on his better reason.
He was hung up on Zhou Mi. He knew that. And he had to deal with it. Make it not an option, or do something about it, or he was going to drive himself insane. Trying to make Donghae happy, and being wistful with Zhou Mi couldn’t cut it.
But he went to Ryeowook first, because telling himself he was being rational was taking too long. Ryeowook gave him a time to be at the restaurant, so Ryeowook could take his break and they could talk in person.
The man who greeted him seemed familiar, and Kyuhyun squinted to be sure he was right.
“I’m here to meet with Ryeowook, one of the- Oh. You’re Jongwoon, right?”
“Yes.”
“Yeah. Ryeowook told me about you,” Kyuhyun cleared his throat to hide the chuckle as Jongwoon’s eyes widened.
“Oh. Uh.” Jongwoon cleared his throat. “He did?”
Kyuhyun grinned. “Yeah. Maybe we can all get together sometime.”
“Sure!” Jongwoon agreed. “You’re his friend, so I just wanted to tell you. I’m taking good care of him. I mean, I will.”
He wasn’t sure which of them was going to out-awkward the other, when Kyuhyun caught sight of Ryeowook out of the corner of his eye.
“Nice seeing you again,” Kyuhyun said, and beelined for Ryeowook.
“Just in time,” Ryeowook said, leading him to a quiet corner of the break room.
“So Jongwoon. Seems nice.”
“He is. Don’t give me that look, Kyuhyun. Tell me what got you all worked up on the phone.”
He didn’t think his face was doing anything out of the ordinary as he tried not to grin. Or maybe it was just that. But right, his problems.
“I started seeing that guy I told you about. But…I think I might like someone else.”
“Your boss?” Ryeowook asked, leaning forward. And didn’t seem the least bit surprised at Kyuhyun’s nod. He wouldn’t have been surprised if Ryeowook had been suspecting for a while. “So you’re going after two guys?”
“It’s not like I’m dating them both! The dates were fun. But Zhou Mi- It’s just, having those feelings.”
And it felt weird saying it out loud, or even thinking it.
And Ryeowook was looking at him with a healthy dose of sympathy. “You know, you can have dates, and feelings, with the same guy.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’ve been thinking,” Kyuhyun muttered.
Ryeowook was nice enough not to point out how obvious it was. Another guy came in, and almost ducked back out before Ryeowook waved him over.
“This is Henry, one of our new busboys. This is my friend, Kyuhyun.”
Henry greeted him in Korean that was a bit fumbley.
“Kyuhyun works for a dating site. You have a girlfriend?” Ryeowook asked Henry.
“I don’t.”
“You have a card to give him?” Ryeowook asked Kyuhyun.
He did, and handed it to Henry, who thanked him. “Heartstrings,” Henry said, his accent perfect. They shared a smile, before Henry went to sit at another table. Kyuhyun idly wondered if Ryeowook could just let Kyuhyun stay in the break room for a month, and just come in to feed him every so often.
“I need to get back to the kitchen,” Ryeowook said. “I need to finish prepping my station for dinner. You had your mind made up about Zhou Mi before you came, didn’t you?”
“I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t being stupid.”
“I liked him when he was here, and you know that,” Ryeowook said. “It’s your choice, Kyuhyun.”
He just had to make up his mind, and go with it.
***
But he figured he owed it to Donghae to tell him in person. He kept the invite light, but implied he had something important to talk about. He didn’t want to totally blindside Donghae.
He’d never been good about breaking it off with someone.
“Hey,” Donghae said, sliding in across from him.
“Hey,” Kyuhyun said. And his nerves boiled. “How’s it going?”
“Okay. You?”
Donghae’s eyebrows were drawn together slightly, giving him the look of a slightly worried puppy. And Kyuhyun kicked himself a little bit. That was the time to do it.
“I think you might have guessed already, but… I had a really good time on our dates. But, I don’t think we should go out again. Because I’m starting- have started to like someone else.”
And Kyuhyun frowned, having gotten through it, stutters and stops and all.
“Okay,” Donghae said, after a moment. “Who is it? If you don’t mind.”
“My boss. Which is kind of weird. He doesn’t know. And I don’t know what future there is in it.”
“He’s straight?”
“No, he’s not,” Kyuhyun said. Or he’d be having a different kind of crisis.
“In a relationship?”
“No. He’s single.”
Donghae squinted as though there was something he wasn’t being told. “Does he have two heads? Six ears? Is he an alien? Covered in hair?”
Kyuhyun laughed, squeezing his eyes tight even at the thought. “No. He’s just my…boss.”
“So instead of you telling me ‘it’s not you, it’s me,’ you’re saying, ‘it’s not you, it’s him,’ huh?”
Kyuhyun grimaced. “It’s my fault, for not realizing sooner. I’m sorry for that.”
“Jump him,” Donghae advised. “He’ll get your point really fast.”
Kyuhyun felt his ears go hot, among other parts of his face. “Yeah, that’s probably…Maybe. I’m sorry about this.”
Donghae shook his head. “I mean, I’m disappointed, because I had a lot of fun with you, too. But I understand. You can’t help who you like. Besides, at least you figured it out before we maybe got serious. Hey, what’s he look like? Your boss?”
Kyuhyun carefully loaded the site, showing off Zhou Mi’s recently updated picture with his fake glasses and a smile. Kyuhyun hadn’t stooped to saving a picture on his phone quite yet. He watched as Donghae studied his fingers, before looking back up at Kyuhyun, with a half smile.
“Cute. So, if we’re not going out, that means you absolutely have to get him. You know that, right? I’ll be messaging you to make sure.”
He wasn’t sure if Donghae’s attitude made him feel better or worse. He’d braced himself for anger. Something maybe to assuage his feelings of guilt, and the fear of tossing aside a safety net. But maybe that was just more of what he deserved, while he got his head together.
“Good luck,” Donghae told them as they parted. And then shouted back at him a few moments later, “Go get him!”
He laughed, and made his way to his train, still jittery from the anxiety of the meeting. Though he guessed Donghae was right. If he was giving up a relationship on the sole basis of another potential one, then he needed to make a move. He just wasn’t sure how soon.
***
Tension was across Kyuhyun’s shoulders as he took a seat beside Zhou Mi’s desk. He’d been the one to request the meeting, and he was trying to remember what all he had to say. Not telling Zhou Mi about Donghae wasn’t an option. In fact, he almost saw it as a stepping stone. Some kind of step two, in his multi-step plan. A plan he contemplated as Zhou Mi wrapped up a call, and Kyuhyun split his time between examining the dangling straps on Zhou Mi’s outbox, and looking at Zhou Mi himself. Zhou Mi’s shirt was simple, white and plain, and it suited him. Open at the collar, and Kyuhyun wondered if he’d be out of line with a compliment. Maybe compliments ought to be the next step. Though, step three, by right, might ought to have been asking Zhou Mi out. But Kyuhyun was taking things in phases. It was a long plan, not a short one. And it was buying him time. I really enjoy spending time with you, and I think you do, too, so…
“Sorry about that,” Zhou Mi said as he hung up. “You said you had updates?”
“Yeah. I wanted to let you know that I’m not going to be seeing Donghae any more.”
Zhou Mi’s eyebrows rose, a natural kind of surprise. “Really? I thought you were getting along well.”
“Yeah, we were. I was the one who called it off. We didn’t connect like I’d hoped.”
That was at least partially the truth. Twisted a little further, they hadn’t connected like he had with Zhou Mi. Donghae wasn’t Zhou Mi. His only fatal flaw.
“Okay,” Zhou Mi said. “Is there anything else you can tell me? So I can understand, maybe make a better match next time?”
“Could we wait a while on that?” Kyuhyun asked, breathing out. He didn’t think the middle of work was the best place for awkward feeling confessionals, but he also didn’t want to be turning down dates while he figured out how he was going to tell Zhou Mi in the first place. If Zhou Mi had read into all the time they’d spent together, too, it wouldn’t exactly be a surprise.
Maybe even a relief.
He smiled as Zhou Mi nodded at him.
“Of course. I’ll update your file and keep my eyes open for anything, but it’s good to step back and re-evaluate. Just let me know, okay? If you think of anything that’d help, you can email me, too.”
Maybe he could ask Zhou Mi out by email, too.
Zhou Mi’s smile was so earnest. So helpful. And Kyuhyun tried not to ball his fists as he retreated to his desk. Utter defeat. Clutch of anxiety. Sliver of hope. Another movie, maybe. Inserting little jokes, like how funny, this is just like a date.
But those daydreams lasted all of an hour, until Zhou Mi emerged from his office in his jacket, waving at Eunhyuk and telling them both that he’d see them tomorrow.
Zhou Mi didn’t meet Kyuhyun’s eyes before he left, even though the question of why Zhou Mi was leaving was plainly written on Kyuhyun’s face. There was still another hour to go, and Zhou Mi so rarely left early.
“That’s really shitty timing,” Eunhyuk muttered, as he dropped a folder onto Kyuhyun’s desk.
“What?”
“Him getting that email from his idiot ex so close to him going to get laid. Hopefully his judgement isn’t skewed.”
Zhou Mi’s night out. His one night stand. It hit Kyuhyun in the head, and in the gut. Suddenly it wasn’t a funny quirk of his boss any more. He could see Zhou Mi getting hit on by all manner of idiots, and he had to bite his lip to keep the sickness from racing across his face.
“That’s tonight?” he asked, and knew there wasn’t any other answer.
“Same night as always. I wish I could put him on a leash.”
Though Eunhyuk clearly wasn’t speaking to him any more as he walked away.
Zhou Mi leaving to get ready, to dress nice and go out. Drink, dance, who knew. Look for a guy to take home, go home with. Zhou Mi’s fingers slipping through someone else’s. Someone touching Zhou Mi’s hair, drawing his laugh.
He’d called it off with Donghae, hoping to circumvent feelings like that. Not get slapped in the face with them almost immediately.
His pulse was leaping as he clacked randomly at keys and made random symbols on the screen. Very indicative of the storm of realizations that was heading through his head. Logic told him he had no right to feel half the things he did. Zhou Mi had every right to go out. Maybe he wouldn’t have, if Kyuhyun had said something. He’d just created his own torture. Every time he told himself he should just give in, his conversation with Donghae wouldn’t let him sink behind it.
Some faceless, meaningless stranger pressing Zhou Mi back on a bed played over and over in his mind until it was time to go. And how to stop that from happening, how to stop himself from thinking of it, or doing anything about it, chased after him.
***
The sheets had just warmed to Zhou Mi’s body, book comfortably propped, when pounding on the door had his heart leaping. No, someone wasn't there trying to murder him, he reasoned. But he cursed himself for being stupid as he stumbled up, hoping the whole floor hadn’t been woken, leg caught in the sheet for a second. Answering the door in his underwear wasn’t an option. He grabbed a pair of shorts off the top of his clothes pile and staggered into them.
“Coming!”
He didn’t even bother closing them, too intent on getting the door open before another knock could sound.
The warmer air of the hall hit the skin of his chest as he pushed out the door. And even as winded as he felt right then, the man panting there looked even more so.
Kyuhyun, a hand to his chest as though he was trying to hold it in.
“Kyuhyun!”
And with a gulp, Kyuhyun seemed to gather himself.
“You’re alone?”
“Yes? Of course I am. Is something wrong? Why- Come in. Come in.”
“No.” Kyuhyun sounded like he was in pain, his whole face tightening. “Sorry. I have have to go. Good night.”
And Zhou Mi was left there, holding the door and staring at Kyuhyun’s retreating back.
***