[Fic] More Than This - 8/15
Title: More Than This
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairings: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun, Tablo/Eunhyuk
Other: various
Rating: R
Genre: AU, crime, romance
Warnings: violence, death (not of main characters)
Summary: Zhou Mi’s focus is Heartstrings, a dating company where love is more than just a guarantee - it's in Zhou Mi’s blood. A matchmaking gift he’s used with gladness, until a series of murders has it shaping his nightmares.
Eunhyuk, his business partner, can’t let go of his tumultuous past. But finding a man he’s been looking for over half his life has repercussions not only for him, but for Zhou Mi and their future.
Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four * Chapter Five * Chapter Six * Chapter Seven * Chapter Eight * Chapter Nine
***
It had been a long night, after Kyuhyun had left. Anxiety that had made it hard to sleep, and dreams that had followed him. There had been one nice one, a snippet of seeing his dream lover, which had preceded the only easy rest he’d had. Zhou Mi had been at the office for six hours, and it was only 10 in the morning. He’d had a pot of coffee, five cups of strong black tea, and innumerable bathroom breaks to show for it. Two oranges, a salad, a sandwich, waffle cookies. He was trying to keep his sugar up so he didn’t just drown in his own tea cup before meetings got started. Working was infinitely better than sitting at home and wanting to freak out or hyperventilate. Or bleach his eyes and his brain, which he’d fantasized about.
Eunhyuk made the astute observation that he looked like shit when he got into the office. Not uncalled for, as he’s stared at himself in the mirror a couple of times, before avoiding looking entirely. His eyes had acquired suitcases, and his head was heavy, but wallowing in it wasn’t helping. He had things to do, and meetings to accomplish. He put aside the active matching to do menial work. He needed to get back in focus, back in rhythm. He’d thought he’d gotten into a good place when they’d expanded another person, feeling less stress, less need to drive himself so hard. But that was impossible to maintain when he couldn’t sleep, and became scared to. He forgot how long it had been since he’d had a real restful night. And he’d been so hopeful too, happy after Kyuhyun had gone.
A knock had him looking up, and Eunhyuk was half leaning in.
“Siwon and Sooyoung are here. Sounds like Sooyoung wants to go first. You ready for her?”
“Am I ever?” Zhou Mi joked. “Sure, send her in.”
Eunhyuk saluted and a few moments later, Sooyoung walked in, in an adorable little skirt outfit. He eyed the green shirt and wondered if there was a men’s version out there. But he stood, hugging her after the door had closed.
“It’s good to see you,” he said. “How have you been?”
“Really well, thank you. I’ve been looking forward to coming back.”
“And you got Siwon at the same time. That’s pretty incredible.”
“I know!” And she looked pleased. “I forced Siwon to take the second timeslot. He’s probably sitting out there fiddling with his phone and waiting to go back to work..”
“Oh, I could’ve seen you both together.”
“See, there’s the thing. He has a lot of opinions I’m not ready for yet. Even if I want to give my opinion on who he chooses!”
Ah, siblings. Though he could understand Sooyoung wanting to make her own opinions before having her big brother weigh in. She wanted very much to be a wife and mother, but wanted those things on her own terms. He was the same when it came to the big decisions, and it was up to him to respect her wishes, and do the best job for her that he could. As a friend, and a provider. But her folder was on top of his stack, and he brought it closer. Even as he organized his thoughts, she put a hand over his, catching his eye.
“You look really pale. Are you feeling okay?”
“I didn’t get enough sleep last night,” he said, trying to sit up straighter. “But don’t worry! These matches didn’t come while I was half asleep.”
She laughed, her eyes twinkling. “Well, that’s good. I don’t want to be matched with a grandfather.”
“I forgot… Did you tell me that?” he teased. But he didn’t let the jest stand, reverting to professional behavior, even if he knew her well. “I have two men here for you to take a look at. I’ve spoken to both of them personally, and looked over their profiles. I want you to take a look, and see where your interest lies.”
Each profile was topped with two pictures. One candid and one formal, because it showed personality. There were the personal statements, hobbies, and likes. Family and religious background. Some that were technicalities, some that were the draws. The commonalities that drew people to people. He could almost hear her think as she read through them, flipping between pages and images, and details. Though he kept himself looking busy, at least, because he didn’t want to rush her - or sway her. He knew which of the two suited his thoughts more, but one thing he could never be was her. And the human capacity for choice and reason defied all else. She glanced up, with one profile in her right hand, and one in her left. She was right handed, so wondered how significant that was.
“I find this one more attractive, but I like this profile more,” she said, and waved the one in her right hand. “It seems to fit better. But they’re both tall! You really got that.”
“You should be able to wear your heels with confidence,” he told her. Height had definitely been one of her requests. However, had he had that moment of intuition about a man shy of her minimum height requirement, there wouldn’t have been anything to do. Looks changed. Compatibility at it’s fundamental core was what he looked for.
He smiled, and crossed his legs. “Between those two options, which do you think I’d have you choose?”
“The less attractive one. I mean, it’s not like he’s ugly! He’s cute. I like his face.”
And he confirmed her thoughts. “Based on knowing you, and what you were looking for in a man, yes. I feel it would be a good match. At least to meet him, see if you click on a personal level. He’s not the last man in Seoul.”
“Are you saying he’s not good enough?” she asked.
“I’m saying I can’t do the feeling for you. You’re the one who will know if you click, if you want to see more of him.”
“You mean you can’t court him for me?”
“I don’t have the right parts for that,” he said, winking at her.
She laughed, and smiled back down at the profile. “Okay. Yeah. I’d like to meet him.”
“Great. I’ll call him, make sure he’s okay. I’ll have him set up a date. You won’t have to do anything but show up and make him wonder where you’ve been all his life.”
Zhou Mi understood the way she blew out a held breath. It was the first step, and blind dates were scary. But she was an articulate, secure woman who had a lot to give, and a lot she deserved to receive. But he had a few other warnings, as he rolled his chair forward a little.
“If he pressures you for any kind of physical contact, especially before there’s an understanding between you… You can call me if you ever need to, and you’ll have an army at your back. The men I talk to genuinely want to marry and have a family, but there are always those who… who need to learn how to be respectful men. You should be able to get to know any of your dates and feel safe and respected. I tell this to all my clients.”
“No need to barter my body for love, in other words,” she said. “I’ve dated, and have friends who have dated, and I’ve told them the same thing.”
“Good. Did you have any other questions?”
“I don’t think so,” she said. “I’m not going to stay through Siwon’s appointment. I can’t sit out there with Eunhyuk after we’ve talked.”
“I understand.” Eunhyuk was a little too close. But he was glad she was taking strides forward for herself. They stood together, and he hugged her. Some clients it was easy to feel close to, to hug easily. He liked that connection, because he genuinely cared about the outcome. Though with Sooyoung, she had the benefit of him knowing her for years.
“I’ll call you soon,” he promised.
“Okay. And I’ll send in my brother.”
The devil was back in her eyes, and he waved as she went out. Packaging up her potential suitors, and setting them aside before Siwon appeared in his doorway. Just as handsome and polished as his profile images suggested, Siwon held out a hand as they both greeted each other, and sized each other up. Siwon was in business, in an obviously well-tailored suit. Taking after his father, an expanding their business interests. Things Zhou Mi knew, in his research, because he needed that information. It shed light on what it was that Siwon was looking for. And though Siwon had filled out all of his forms, there was nothing that replaced talking face to face.
“It’s so nice to see you. I’m glad we were able to work out a time for you to come in,” he told Siwon, and offered the chair beside his desk.
“I’m sorry it took this long,” Siwon apologized graciously. “I know you offered for me to come in after hours, but our quarter just finished. I feel more able to start this process on the right foot, rather than heaping stress on it.”
“Don’t worry about that.”
“Sooyoung was being coy as she left. You set her up with someone?”
Zhou Mi laughed, caught between the sibling interest. “You’ll have to hear the details from her! But I promise I’m doing everything to make sure she ends up with a good man.”
That seemed to comfort Siwon, who nodded. “Tell me what you need from me, then.”
“I just want to hear from you, what you’re looking for.”
Zhou Mi felt a little bit like a confessor in those times, watching eyes go thoughtful. It was only the truth that could help him, not fairy tales. Sometimes, when he was matching, he could almost hear their words being played back at him. Like it was the truth in their wants that guided his intuition, that made him make the right choice.
“I want someone who is truly beautiful on the inside. Someone I could call my friend, who would be there for me. Be my wife, mother of my children. Be glad to see me home. Someone who could travel the world with me, or go running together, or just be…normal. She wouldn’t have to work, but if she wanted- I’d want her to be happy and fulfilled, because-“
Zhou Mi’s eyebrows rose as Siwon paused. “Because?”
“I want her to be happy,” Siwon clarified. “I think she would be happier with me, and our family that way. I don’t mean that as oddly as it sounds.”
Zhou Mi shook his head. “No, it makes perfect sense. I’m sure from a business perspective that’s true as well. A happy employee is a productive and engaged employee. But with a spouse, there’s the care for their happiness also. It’s give and take. So you’d want a woman who wants to see the world. Someone sophisticated, who could fit into your world. Intelligent, kind.”
“Yes. Someone I’d be glad to introduce to my parents, and someone I wouldn’t ever want to leave.”
“And so someone who would also understand that your hours can sometimes be long. Someone to share you life outside of that.”
All the tension seemed to leave Siwon’s body. “Yes. Sooyoung told me you were good.”
“It’s not all about what I can do. You and your future wife are the most important parts. I wanted to meet you before I started looking. I’m glad I did. What I’ll do now, is look. Ideally, I’d like to meet with you again to show you candidates, like with Sooyoung. I think you’re also a candidate to choose directly. Get to know someone on a date instead of at a party.”
“Thank you,” Siwon said.
And Zhou Mi smiled. That was what he did. Though as he showed Siwon out, he began to feel worse. The little energy high that was matching, combined with the sugar crash, had his legs wobbling as he walked back to his door. He paused, steadying himself on the jamb and looked at Eunhyuk to make sure he hadn’t seen.
“You look like you need something stronger than the coffee we have here,” Eunhyuk told him.
“Probably,” Zhou Mi admitted.
Eunhyuk promised to bring him something and he made it to his chair. Gulping more of his sugary tea, in hopes that would lift him a little.
It was like the walls moved and he reached out to steady them. Staring at his own fingers flailing and losing his balance.
“Will you help my Mommy?”
He gasped. The blood. So much blood. And the voice of the child from his dream. The woman’s face, blank in death, and the child, alone. He keened and reached. If he could just see. But she couldn’t be there. It was his office. His office. He reached for her.
And he fell. And fell.
***
Kyuhyun was in a pleasant mood when he made it to Heartstrings. He’d spent an interesting evening with Zhou Mi, had gotten a good night’s sleep for a change, and work had run smoothly even with Tablo in meetings all morning. Not that getting there hadn’t made him wonder. He’d spent a whole evening with one boss, while his two other bosses were hanging out together. But even if he liked Tablo, he was way more likely to pry with Eunhyuk. Maybe that said something about how they were getting to know each other, but he didn’t analyze it too long. Eunhyuk seemed in a fine mood, but it was Zhou Mi who came in from lunch looking like a zombie. He had a joke all lined up about their game playing, and Zhou Mi barely acknowledge him with a wave, before getting his phone from Eunhyuk, and going into his office and closing the door.
That cut away all his expectation about asking any kind of questions, since Eunhyuk just traded knowing and worried glances with him, and looked back to his computer. Okay then. No teasing about the outing with Tablo, no fun remembering with Zhou Mi. He slouched in his chair, and kept organizing emails. It was an hour after that, after Zhou Mi had finished his two meetings, that Eunhyuk passed his desk.
“I’m going to go get something caffeinated for Zhou Mi. Need anything?”
“I’m fine, thanks,” Kyuhyun said, and smiled. As the door closed behind Eunhyuk, he glanced back at Zhou Mi’s door and frowned. He’d left so they could get rest for work. If his being there, staying that long, had caused Zhou Mi to look that tired, then he owed Zhou Mi an apology. Zhou Mi would wave it off, saying it had been fun. And he was a grown man, but-
“No!”
Kyuhyun started out of his thoughts. The loud, urgent denial. His first thought that Zhou Mi was on the phone, or that he’d gotten more bad news. He swiveled his chair, and stood with hesitation. He didn’t want to eavesdrop, just see if Zhou Mi was okay, that was all. But something hit the floor. Not a body. Maybe a knee.
And there was the moan. Zhou Mi’s voice. He couldn’t just stay back, crossing to the door in two quick strides.
He knocked. “Zhou Mi, are you okay?”
When there was no answer, he turned the knob, heart thudding against his ribs. Zhou Mi wasn’t at his desk. As the door swung further, he saw Zhou Mi, legs stretched out and sitting on the floor, rocking, almost shaking.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asked, rushing forward, and getting down to Zhou Mi’s level.
“I can’t tell what’s real,” Zhou Mi moaned, clutching at his head. It was too easy to see the pain there, the fear. But he didn’t know what to do. He’d never been good about consoling people about things he did understand, much less about things he didn’t. Maybe Zhou Mi had fallen asleep.
“This is real here,” he said, touching Zhou Mi’s arm. “Let’s get you up. Some water.”
Maybe a little water to the head would help as well. At least he wasn’t trembling any more.
Zhou Mi accepted his offer of help, gripping his arms and getting onto his knees.
“Okay, let’s-“
His whole world tilted as Zhou Mi lunged. Deceptive strength in those arms, both yanking him close and knocking them both off balance. Only one of his arms flailing out behind him kept them from going flat to the floor. The sound from his throat was foreign to him, Zhou Mi’s face close, so close. The instant tension of his body, the craning of his head- That was all the separated, kept them from a kiss. Zhou Mi looked possessed. He squeezed his eyes closed, trying to get his brain back together.
“What are you doing?” he demanded, voice weak, heart galloping in his chest.
“Then this is real,” Zhou Mi murmured.
And all of the fight left Zhou Mi’s body. Suddenly there wasn’t a man clutching at him, but one bonelessly being supported by him. He struggled up, the arm that supported them protesting at their combined weight. Zhou Mi wasn’t unconscious. Just seemed to be limp from relief. To know it wasn’t a dream. He patted Zhou Mi’s back and just let him have his moment, all the while keeping him from becoming a Zhou Mi-sized puddle on the ground.
Kyuhyun didn’t have time to consider what it meant, that Zhou Mi knew he was in reality because Kyuhyun wouldn’t kiss him, because the outer door being opened had his head shooting up.
“Eunhyuk, could you come in here?”
He didn’t want to deal with it alone. Eunhyuk’s eyes widened to see them both on the floor, Zhou Mi’s head on Kyuhyun’s shoulder.
“I found him like this. I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“You okay?” Eunhyuk asked, crouching and holding Zhou Mi’s hand.
“Yes. I think so, now,” Zhou Mi said. And between the three of them, got Zhou Mi onto his chair.
“What was that?” Eunhyuk demanded. “That wasn’t just lack of sleep.”
And after a minute of just breathing, Zhou Mi looked up again. “I have something to tell you. Both of you.”
***
Visions, Zhou Mi said. Visions of murders that were real. Zhou Mi wobbled on his chair and pulled out the newspapers, detailing dates. He had a paper he’d written dates and times of his visions. Nightmares. He remembered the newscast the night before, and Zhou Mi’s instant discomfort. Perhaps the murders were too close to Zhou Mi, or he was feeling too vulnerable. Kyuhyun’s stomach was in knots, from seeing Zhou Mi sprawled and in pain, to wrapping his head around nightmares. Clearly more than just a simple nightmare. Too little sleep, too much emotional trauma. But what Zhou Mi seemed to be telling them wasn’t that he’d been reacting to anything. It had been that he’d seen it before it had happened. Or, even as it had.
“Today was different. It was an echo of last night. I was just sitting here, and I couldn’t stop it. It was the first time it happened here.”
“Maybe you fell asleep,” Kyuhyun offered.
But Eunhyuk was beyond placation. “So you’ve been having these horrific nightmares for weeks. No wonder you’ve been looking so ragged. I thought you said no more secrets!”
Zhou Mi almost seemed to vibrate, standing out of his chair, and staring at Eunhyuk with hurt all over his face. The emotion was almost palpable, Zhou Mi lacking all control.
“This has nothing to do with the business!” Zhou Mi shouted back.
And Zhou Mi moved, faster than Kyuhyun had ever seen, pushing his way through his office doorway. But after, it was more of a stagger. And Eunhyuk was frozen.
So it was up to Kyuhyun, jogging after Zhou Mi and getting a hand on his arm before he could make it to the door to the hallway.
“Hey. He’s just trying to help. And you’re still not steady. You should sit down.”
Zhou Mi released a breath that all but trembled through the air, trying to keep turning away from Kyuhyun. But Kyuhyun, still hanging onto his arm, finally edged around far enough to see part of Zhou Mi’s face. And the tear tracking beside Zhou Mi’s nose. It had sick panic clutching his stomach.
“Hey. Hey, you don’t have to do that. Hey.”
He tugged, and Zhou Mi complied. But instead of Zhou Mi just stopping, as Kyuhyun had intended, he turned, clutching Kyuhyun close in a different way than on the office floor. Breath hiccing as he pressed his face against Kyuhyun’s neck and clung. Like Kyuhyun was his only, stock-still, lifeline.
“What’s got you all worked up and stupid now?” Eunhyuk asked, though his voice was soft. He was where Kyuhyun couldn’t see, undoubtedly so he could see Zhou Mi’s face.
Zhou Mi shook his head, the feeling of it almost like a shiver as close as they were pressed. And his voice was still thick.
“I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know what to do.”
One of Eunhyuk’s arms went around Kyuhyun’s back, and Eunhyuk hugged them both from the side. Zhou Mi loosed one arm enough to hold Eunhyuk as well, but didn’t take his face away from Kyuhyun’s neck. He could hear Eunhyuk murmuring little insults to distract Zhou Mi from his distress. Tears are going to stain Kyuhyun’s shirt. Why are you so magical? And the little puffs of air that indicated laughter, were directed right into Kyuhyun’s collar. It sent his whole body on red alert, inhaling almost against his will. A long, slow drag of air that brought in every smell Zhou Mi had to offer. The hint of sweat, with note of fear, some kind of light scent from his work shirt, something else that lingered at his neck. Faint and vaguely citrusy, making him think of nothing so much as Zhou Mi lounging and sipping orange juice. With progressively less clothes.
And when he had his boss, his friend, in distress against him, those were the last kind of thoughts he wanted to indulge. But Zhou Mi’s grip was strong, and he couldn’t have saved himself. But as he stroked Zhou Mi’s lower back, feeling both the warmth of his skin and the slowing tremble through Zhou Mi’s shirt, he didn’t want to. Awkward sexual attraction mid-comfort. And he’d barely finished the idea, before Eunhyuk slapped both him and Zhou Mi on the butt, sending them bumping into each other in surprise.
“Okay. Let’s talk this out.”
Though Zhou Mi just leaned closer, getting his whole head on Kyuhyun’s shoulder, and making Kyuhyun’s back stiffen up like tree.
“Can I just stay like this?”
“Kyuhyun isn’t a dog.”
He and Eunhyuk shared a wry smile over Zhou Mi’s head, but Zhou Mi did let him go then. He wasn’t sure which of them felt the loss more.
***
Zhou Mi went home, after the event at the office. Unable to stay there and see Eunhyuk’s concern, and Kyuhyun’s confusion. He wouldn’t have believed himself either. And that was the last thing he wanted, from Kyuhyun, or Eunhyuk. It wasn’t some kind of crime drama, where he saw things about the murders he could take to the police. There were no faces, or names, or identifiers. He’d gone over every detail until he’d made himself sick.
He’d refused Eunhyuk to come with him. Not because Eunhyuk had loosed his concern for him, but because he’d needed that time alone to collect himself. He slept, dressing in his most comfortable clothes. His room darkened by his sleep mask, he’d rested well for the first time in days. And after, he sat in the growing darkness, staring at the wall, and gathering himself.
And when Eunhyuk had texted, asking if he could come over, Zhou Mi had agreed. Eunhyuk let himself in, bringing Zhou Mi a covered dish of cut-up watermelon. And they sat together in silence, shoulder to shoulder on Zhou Mi’s bed, as Zhou Mi ate.
“I wish I had answers,” Zhou Mi said, and felt tired to the bone. “Why I’m seeing it. Who the killer is. How to make it stop. I didn’t want to worry you.”
“But you did anyway. I wouldn’t have teased you so much about being tired. You’ve never had these kinds of visions before?”
“No. I called today. And asked my grandmother if she’d ever had dreams, dreams that were true. She said… Sometimes about a baby coming to a client she had matched. But not often. I don’t understand. Matching is a gift. I understand it. This is just…horrible. If it’s the matching that brings it, I almost don’t want that either. I don’t want this.”
“If this killer is caught, it can’t last forever. The papers all said it looks like it’s the same person. This has to have an end. You have to stick it out. For yourself. That’s what makes you happy. Don’t wish it away yet.”
“Maybe it’s this place. Being in Seoul, being near the murders. Remember, I owed you a gift for finding Kyuhyun. Maybe we should all get away. You and me. Kyuhyun. Tablo?”
Eunhyuk stiffened beside him, and he wondered at that. But it wasn’t the time yet. Eunhyuk took his hand, and they discussed where they wanted to go. Outlandish places. The top of Mt. Everest, or to waddle with penguins, or the moon. All with Eunhyuk’s shoulder bumping his, and his laugh drawing Zhou Mi’s.
But they decided on the beach. A weekend getaway. Something he thought they all desperately needed.
***
Zhou Mi looked at least fifty percent better the next day, when he came in from lunch. Flashing a smile that seemed genuine, compared to how strained he was the day before. It made Kyuhyun breathe out a bit of relief, since he’d had no idea how Zhou Mi was through the night. He hadn’t let himself dwell, but it would’ve been a lie if he’d said it hadn’t been on his mind.
“Ah, Kyuhyun, can I see you as soon as you are free?” Zhou Mi said, grabbing up his phone, and giving Kyuhyun a moment to focus on the blue jacket he wore.
“Sure? I’m free now.”
Zhou Mi made a sweeping gesture, as though beckoning Kyuhyun into his lair. Eunhyuk shared a grin with him as Kyuhyun passed by, and Zhou Mi closed the door behind them.
“You feeling better?” Kyuhyun asked, as Zhou Mi sat.
“I am,” Zhou Mi said. “Eunhyuk stayed over, and that was a comfort. I think it helped just to know I wasn’t holding it all in. But I wanted to thank you for yesterday. Eunhyuk said I shouldn’t apologize.”
But Zhou Mi kind of shrugged, letting Kyuhyun know he was doing just that.
“Don’t worry. It’d freak anyone out.”
And he was glad that Eunhyuk had gone to Zhou Mi, anyway. He had been sure Eunhyuk would, when they’d left work and Eunhyuk had told Kyuhyun not to worry about Zhou Mi that night. But it was nice to know.
“Oh, first thing’s first. Eunhyuk and I were talking and we want to get away for a weekend. A couple of days away from the city. We were thinking the beach. Hopping a bus, just getting away. But we were hoping you could come, too. Eunhyuk is inviting Tablo. Heartstrings will pick up the hotel tab. It’ll be a sanity retreat.”
A vacation with all his bosses. His heart went pitty-pat. “Wow. Uh. Sure? I…The beach sounds great.”
“Great! We’ll pay you for any time spent away from work, too. Maybe leave mid-afternoon on a Friday. I’ll let you know a more concrete date really soon.”
“Sure. Thanks.”
He was flustered, and almost flattered, that he was being included. But he kind of got why, if Tablo was going. Zhou Mi was a third wheel otherwise.
“We’ll be happy if you can come. Oh, and I got a lot done this morning!” Zhou Mi said, and then kept right on rambling. “And I found you another match. A better one, this time. He’s just a couple of years older than you, lives close, working. I stopped myself from actually calling him for you, when the site turned him up.”
Kyuhyun sat, a little like he’d been run over by a plow, as Zhou Mi chattered, speaking quick, but not awkwardly. More like he was excited, which put far too many different kinds of uncertainty running through Kyuhyun. The man in the profile that Kyuhyun was handed looking very little like Zhou Mi. Shorter even than Kyuhyun, though his smile was instantly eye-catching in one of the provided pictures. Young, good looking. Pretty much no reason for Kyuhyun to say no. And with Zhou Mi watching his reaction.
“He’s cute,” Kyuhyun said after a moment, forcing up a smile. Any other random day, he’d have been interested. It just felt like he had too many things in his head. Too many of those surrounding Zhou Mi. The nightmares, the worry, the attraction. As long as the date wasn’t that night. He could deal. Get himself in the right headspace. “So I should message him?”
“I would,” Zhou Mi suggested. “Just like with the other. And you can do it now, so it’ll be waiting for him when he checks his email next. Don’t worry, we won’t penalize your work time.”
Zhou Mi gave his half-wink that moved most of his face and Kyuhyun laughed, making to leave. “Okay, I’ll do that now. If you don’t need anything else?”
“That’s it!” Zhou Mi responded cheerfully, sounding like he had more when Kyuhyun had first met him. And for all that depressed Kyuhyun, he wasn’t sure why. “Oh, but let me know if he responds!”
“I will,” Kyuhyun said, and went back to his desk. The cursor blinked angrily at him until he started typing.
“Hi, my name is Kyuhyun. I saw your profile…”
***
They set up a date to meet for bubble tea, on the weekend, and Zhou Mi seemed blissed by the connection. The whole week, in fact, Zhou Mi was on some matchmaking high. It was both comforting and frightening in equal measures.
“He’s forcing himself a bit, hoping if he’s cheerful the nightmares won’t come back,” Eunhyuk murmured once. “Don’t worry, Zhou Mi the Matchmaking Elf will fade.”
Not like there was anything else he could do. He couldn’t suggest that Zhou Mi take him out to dinner again, especially since Eunhyuk was very carefully spending as much time as possible with Zhou Mi. And it wasn’t the food that would’ve been Kyuhyun’s purpose, which was ridiculous to consider when he had a blind date upcoming.
Dressing with care, in a nice enough t-shirt and jeans, he loitered outside of the subway station they were meeting at. Time to kill, he called Ryeowook.
“Waiting for my date,” Kyuhyun said, leaning back against the railing outside the subway entrance.
“Ooh. Not with your cute boss this time?”
“No,” Kyuhyun said a little shortly. “He set me up on this.”
“Oh. The one-on-one matching. Because you’re special.”
“Because I’m an employee,” Kyuhyun retorted. “So the guy I’m meeting is one Zhou Mi found, and suggested. He’s a couple of years older than me, so hopefully we’ll have more in common.”
“Let me know how it goes?”
“Mmhmm. So, how are things with the guy?” Kyuhyun almost sing-songed, glad to get the attention off of him.
“I really wish you wouldn’t tease me about him!” Ryeowook scolded. “His name is Jongwoon, you know that. And we…”
“Yes?”
“We went out for coffee. We have a lot to talk about! The restaurant, and stuff.”
Kyuhyun waited a beat. “Was there kissing?”
“Do you make out on your first dates?” Ryeowook retorted.
“Oh, so it was a date?” And Kyuhyun grinned, hearing Ryeowook building up a to what surely was going to be an epic explosion of words. Then he caught sight of a face he thought he recognized. “Oh wait, I think he’s here. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Kyuhyun!”
“Bye bye,” he said, and had to bite his lip not to grin all over from discomfiting Ryeowook.
“Kyuhyun?” he was asked and he nodded. “Hi! I’m Donghae.”
And Kyuhyun was treated to one of the fabulous smiles that was only more attractive in person as they greeted each other.
With his cool clothes, Donghae looked like he’d stepped off a manga page. Though Kyuhyun wasn’t exactly the ugly duckling waiting to be transformed, either.
“I was excited to see your message! I hadn’t been signed up very long,” Donghae told him as they walked. “What about you?”
“I work for the company actually,” Kyuhyun said. “So I’ve been on one other date, but… My boss actually suggested I message you.”
“Oh wow. So we’ve been matched by a pro? Wow, so what do you do?”
They sat with their bubble tea, which Donghae paid for, and discussed just that. Their jobs, interests. Palpable enthusiasm from Donghae, a kind of genial good-naturedness that had no pauses falling in the conversation.
When they had touched briefly on their families, Donghae had gotten a bit choked up, speaking frankly about his father who had passed. It wasn’t something Kyuhyun begrudged him for. But a real, deep part of who Donghae was. But though Donghae’s voice was strained for a while, they didn’t linger on the bad things. Intent instead on getting to know each other.
“Let’s walk around a bit,” Donghae suggested.
Walking actually ended up more like window shopping on the crowded street, wandering in and out of stores, and gawking at electronics. The best part had been when they’d had a man dressed like Santa Claus pass them on the street ahead, causing them to exchange incredulous looks.
“Is it Christmas in July?” Kyuhyun asked.
“I don’t know. We should run after him and see if he has presents for us!”
“No!” Kyuhyun said, grabbing Donghae’s arm.
And no one around them realized why they were cracking up in the middle of the sidewalk.
“I think he would definitely decide we were naughty then,” Kyuhyun chuckled.
And Donghae looked like a kid, laughing at Kyuhyun’s joke. It was so…easy. Effortless fun. Donghae’s face, his grin. The way he squeezed Kyuhyun’s hand, and pointed out a brand of soap he liked. It felt almost like he was out with a friend, almost. Someone who got his sense of humor, and teased him, dared him. Nothing staid about Donghae. Definitely nothing staid about his body. Not like Kyuhyun was blind.
But his quota of people-time was quite filled by the time they’d looped back to the subway station.
“I had a really good time. I hope we can meet again when you’re free,” Kyuhyun said, smiling at Donghae.
“Sure! Oh! Can we exchange phone numbers?”
They did, and Donghae left on a separate train than Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun felt satisfied. Pleased. Exhausted. Physically, mentally. His mind tried to insinuate how the date could’ve gone better, little things. Not that Donghae had so much done anything wrong. As first dates went, it had been upbeat, informative, and fun.
“You’re just trying to make yourself unhappy,” Kyuhyun muttered to himself, and exited at his station. He had a day and a half before he had to report back on his date to Zhou Mi. Ah, and there was the problem.
***
Thrilled. Zhou Mi was thrilled. If anyone asked Zhou Mi about how hearing the results of Kyuhyun’s date made him felt, the word would’ve been thrilled. He was thrilled all over, like a perpetually happy cat. Kyuhyun hadn’t really been looking at him while he’d recounted the date. Walking around, bubble tea, lots of laughs. Sense of humor was important to Kyuhyun, so that was great.
“No kiss?” Zhou Mi asked.
“It was the middle of the day,” Kyuhyun said shrugging one shoulder.
“But did you want to?”
It mattered. It spoke to chemistry, if nothing else. And he ignored the part of him that almost didn’t want to know.
“Yeah, it would’ve been okay,” Kyuhyun said. “Maybe next time. Oop. That’s him, texting me.”
The startling vibration of Kyuhyun’s phone had alerted them both to that.
Thrilled, Zhou Mi reminded himself as he watched Kyuhyun tuck away his phone. He was so thrilled.
“So, about the beach trip. Not this Friday, but next. Is that okay with you?”
Kyuhyun readily agreed, and Zhou Mi was glad. Glad in a genuine way, and not the false emotion he was trying to saddle himself with. Getting to spend time with Kyuhyun, with Eunhyuk and Tablo, away from the office, was something he was counting down the days toward. He just wanted the trip to go without a hitch, for it to be relaxing, and refreshing. And if Kyuhyun was still dating-
He shook his head. None of that. But the date on the calendar mocked him. He’d successfully set up Kyuhyun to date a man who was well suited for him. And it was Zhou Mi’s time to go out, and find a man for himself. For one night, at least. One night to forget what he couldn’t have, and focus on what he could.
Eunhyuk didn’t press him on the fact, probably out of deference to Zhou Mi still recovering, and it let Kyuhyun be oblivious. No catty little fights to clue Kyuhyun in on what Zhou Mi was going to do that evening.
Zhou Mi wasn’t quite sure why he wanted Kyuhyun to stay unaware. Okay, that wasn’t quite true. He knew, but was disregarding it for reasons of sanity. He was sending Kyuhyun out on dates. He was glad for the chance to see Kyuhyun in a happy, long term relationship. He was glad for the chance to help most people with that. Something about Kyuhyun made it different. Maybe it was the way his eyes were drawn to him, or the fact that he calmed to feel Kyuhyun near. He could try and attribute it to Kyuhyun’s personality, but the fact that the man he cozied up to that night had a passing resemblance to Kyuhyun’s build was not lost on Zhou Mi. Following the man back to his place for one reason only, and taking every precaution.
But trying to keep Kyuhyun out of his head as the man rocked above him, was something he could not begin to try.
***
Getting out of the city for a couple of days sounded like a better idea the closer it got. Eunhyuk had followed up Zhou Mi’s questioning, assuring Kyuhyun again all the expenses were on the company. If he hadn’t heard it from Zhou Mi first, Kyuhyun would have thought it was a company outing only, that maybe Eunhyuk was using it to get Zhou Mi away for a while - except that Tablo was going, too. So perhaps Zhou Mi was getting a vacation, but Zhou Mi was also getting a companion. A companion named Kyuhyun. He pondered feeling awkward about it for about ten seconds, but even if they were pairing up two by two, it didn’t actually mean anything. Tablo and Eunhyuk weren’t dating, that he knew of, and Kyuhyun was still chatting with Donghae online until they could meet up again. So there was no reason to feel awkward that he was being named as Zhou Mi’s counterpart. Just four guys, going to the beach, and relaxing. It reminded him of weekend high school trips, only they were getting out of part of a day of work.
They left right from work, in fact. Kyuhyun took a bag and his laptop to Tablo’s office, and worked the morning before changing into his comfortable clothes to leave. They met up with Eunhyuk and Zhou Mi, and made it onto the bus out of town with just minutes to spare. Tablo beside him, with Zhou Mi and Eunhyuk across the aisle. Or at least, it stayed that way for about half an hour, until Zhou Mi stood and offered Tablo his spot. Zhou Mi slid into the seat beside Kyuhyun, sharing a knowing looking with Kyuhyun. It made Kyuhyun glad, oddly. Eunhyuk got what he wanted, without leaning around Zhou Mi to do it. Besides that, it was true that he was more comfortable around Zhou Mi, but there was that second factor. Like the way Zhou Mi’s legs crossing caught his eye, or Zhou Mi’s fingers as he settled in with a magazine.
“First thing you want to do when we get there and get checked in?” Zhou Mi asked him.
Kyuhyun didn’t have to think long, after considering the length of their bus ride, that he’d already eaten his lunch, and the number of snacks he had.
“Eat?” he ventured. And Zhou Mi burst into laughter, slapping at Kyuhyun’s knee.
“Besides that. Of course we’ll eat. No, we’ll starve you the whole weekend.”
Kyuhyun pretended to stand. “Is it too late to get off the bus?”
The helpless laughter beside him had him laughing too, though he had to look away before Zhou Mi looked up, or be caught staring at his smile.
“I’m assuming you’re asking if I want to go to the beach,” Kyuhyun said.
“Yes. It’d be nice to talk a walk around, see what there is to do before we settle in. We’ll have plenty of day left! But you’ll go with me even if they won’t, right?”
It begged the question of just what exactly Zhou Mi assumed Tablo and Eunhyuk would be doing. If it was some kind of couple get away, they were doing it wrong, because Kyuhyun had been checked with to see if he’d be okay with rooming with Tablo. Which he was, but Eunhyuk had asked that. But he shrugged, and dug into his bag for the candy he’d brought.
“Sure. That’s why we’re going, right?”
Zhou Mi grinned and settled into his seat. And took Kyuhyun’s offered candy graciously. His expectations from an outing with all of his bosses were certainly different than they would be if he had been with his friends, and he was the youngest. But he still expected to have a good time, no matter what.
***
Even if that good time meant dragging a shrieking Zhou Mi into the water. It could be said that Zhou Mi deserved it, because the second they had gotten down to the beach, Zhou Mi had turned to Eunhyuk and dared him to the point of pain - to run full tilt into the water, no matter how cold it was.
There had been a face-off, Eunhyuk with his hands on his hips, and Zhou Mi staring him down as Kyuhyun and Tablo looked on.
“Everyone else has to go in the water, too,” Eunhyuk bargained.
“As long as you go first,” Zhou Mi agreed.
Their flip flops and towels made a little pile beyond the wet sand, and Kyuhyun nearly broke his ribs laughing as Eunhyuk took a deep breath and ran and hopped and almost belly surfed into the water. He looked like a drowned blond baby chick, and Kyuhyun crouched down to continue laughing as Eunhyuk stood and glared.
“Come on! I’m waiting!”
“I didn’t actually agree!” Tablo called.
“You!”
“I’d better go before he comes out and drags me,” Tablo said. “I’m not going alone.”
Kyuhyun was stared onto his feet, and he went, letting the water lap at his feet and ankles. Cool, but not freezing. But he was out to his knees, when he looked back and saw that Zhou Mi was still flirting with the water’s edge.
“You waiting for high tide so the water will come to you?” he asked, feeling the wet edge of his shorts starting to hit his warmer leg.
Zhou Mi waved at him, and took another few steps. “Maybe Eunhyuk won’t notice.”
No matter how distracted Eunhyuk was by Tablo, Kyuhyun was pretty sure he’d notice.
“Maybe he won’t, but I will. You’re the one who said we had to eat fast so we could get in as much beach today as possible.”
Before the sun went down, before it got cool, both of which were still true. But Zhou Mi was still lagging. Something about not being in an office, a building, the city, made him feel more free.
“Need someone to hold your hand?” he mocked, holding one out.
“No, I can-“
“Come on. We don’t have all day.”
He grabbed Zhou Mi’s arm, without asking, and as the water started it’s slide in, he and Zhou Mi went out. From the sound it was like he was killing Zhou Mi and it almost made him stop as Zhou Mi struggled. The rising wail as the water rose and wetted them both to chest level.
Both of Zhou Mi’s arms were held above the water, like that was going to save him somehow. Though Kyuhyun had given in, letting his arms float around and try and keep his balance in the moving sand.
“You can swim right?” he asked, as Zhou Mi pouted and glared at him.
“Yes, I can swim,” Zhou Mi told him and lowered his arms so he could skim his hands along the top of the wave. “It’s colder than I thought!”
“You should dunk in,” Kyuhyun suggested. And he really didn’t mean it to come out as a threat. Even if Zhou Mi somehow took it that way.
“No. Kyuhyun, no!”
But watching Zhou Mi flee through the water made him laugh twice as hard.
***
“Zhou Mi will warm up to the water,” Eunhyuk said, laughing as Kyuhyun elicited whoops and protests from Zhou Mi. “It takes him a little but when he gets into it, you can’t get him out.”
Zhou Mi had been right. Getting out of the city had been a good move. Just sitting next to Tablo on the bus ride to their destination had been full of fun. They’d passed a game back and forth on his phone, talking about their week and how nice it was not to be at work. Though he hadn’t said it that loud, knowing how close Zhou Mi was. And he wasn’t taking bets on when Zhou Mi was going to break out his laptop and work despite the getaway. He half wished they’d been able to take their guitars with them, have a little cookout on the beach and sing songs, the four of them. Another time. That was the nice thing about having Tablo close and spending time with him. They were almost guaranteed another time, of some kind. Tablo’s ironic laughs, and shoving during the trip had faded into napping. Changing in their respective rooms, because Zhou Mi was a child going after a present. The beach - and that was all he could see.
He walked, and felt the sand give in the water, wobbling a little as Tablo walked beside him. Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun had finally halted their chase a hundred feet down the water, paused and both staring at something they’d found. A shell or a rock or something. He didn’t want to go far from their shoes and towels. Not that he really thought someone would run off with them, but it was a caution. Someone had to be cautious, and sometimes he was the one who was between him and Zhou Mi.
“Looks like they’re not going to kill each other any more,” Tablo said.
The silk sound of Tablo’s voice should’ve been enough to make him wary.
But his only sense of impending doom came just before he was being dunked under the water. The roar of it filled his ears for several seconds before he pushed up, gasping, and hearing Tablo’s laugh as his ears cleared. His hands grasped at Tablo’s shirt for stability and dragged them both down.
The laugh sputtered out of him as Tablo cursed, and they struggled to stay upright as a wave starting to pull them back out with it.
“That was evil,” he accused, still trying to get his dripping hair out of his eyes.
“You got me back,” Tablo croaked, but he was grinning. “Hey, watch out.”
Maybe it was the water’s fault. The wave coming back in catching him by surprise, and making him stumble. Tablo grabbing his arms, his sides, and holding on until they could both stand.
“Maybe it’s telling us to get out,” Eunhyuk joked, but words died on his lips, when he caught sight of Tablo’s face. Tablo’s hand against his back, the backing up of air into his lungs as he wondered at that curious expression.
“Do I have something on my face?” he asked, when the tension, and the touch, refused to let him go.
“Eunhyuk.“ Fingers against his cheek. His eyes closed almost on instinct. Anticipation, protection. Giving him precious time to think without wearing every thought naked on his face. Protection against the hand on his back that tightened and pulled him in.
His eyes opened and Tablo met them. Waiting, perhaps, for that. He felt searched, examined, breathless. And his fingers grasped the wrist of the arm Tablo was using to touch his face. Stay there. Don’t go. What’s happening?
“Ahoy!” Eunhyuk heard from behind him, and dropped his hand immediately. Zhou Mi’s voice was unmistakeable. “Look at these shells and rocks!”
“Let’s go,” Tablo said, and the smile was almost imperceptible. It was an expression he’d come to-
To feel something about.
Both Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun held things, though Zhou Mi was the one talking about the little rocks Kyuhyun had, so he had a feeling Kyuhyun had become pack mule. Making up for the near-drowning perhaps.
“This one made me think of us,” Zhou Mi said, holding out a rock with barnacles, his voice having the telltale sign of chill from the water as the fading sun warmed them a bit. “Which of us is the rock?”
“Why are you my friend?” Eunhyuk accused. “Come on. Let’s go get dry.”
In the end, the bits of the sea were redistributed, for someone else to find and admire.
But the moment in the water was far from forgotten.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairings: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun, Tablo/Eunhyuk
Other: various
Rating: R
Genre: AU, crime, romance
Warnings: violence, death (not of main characters)
Summary: Zhou Mi’s focus is Heartstrings, a dating company where love is more than just a guarantee - it's in Zhou Mi’s blood. A matchmaking gift he’s used with gladness, until a series of murders has it shaping his nightmares.
Eunhyuk, his business partner, can’t let go of his tumultuous past. But finding a man he’s been looking for over half his life has repercussions not only for him, but for Zhou Mi and their future.
Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four * Chapter Five * Chapter Six * Chapter Seven * Chapter Eight * Chapter Nine
***
It had been a long night, after Kyuhyun had left. Anxiety that had made it hard to sleep, and dreams that had followed him. There had been one nice one, a snippet of seeing his dream lover, which had preceded the only easy rest he’d had. Zhou Mi had been at the office for six hours, and it was only 10 in the morning. He’d had a pot of coffee, five cups of strong black tea, and innumerable bathroom breaks to show for it. Two oranges, a salad, a sandwich, waffle cookies. He was trying to keep his sugar up so he didn’t just drown in his own tea cup before meetings got started. Working was infinitely better than sitting at home and wanting to freak out or hyperventilate. Or bleach his eyes and his brain, which he’d fantasized about.
Eunhyuk made the astute observation that he looked like shit when he got into the office. Not uncalled for, as he’s stared at himself in the mirror a couple of times, before avoiding looking entirely. His eyes had acquired suitcases, and his head was heavy, but wallowing in it wasn’t helping. He had things to do, and meetings to accomplish. He put aside the active matching to do menial work. He needed to get back in focus, back in rhythm. He’d thought he’d gotten into a good place when they’d expanded another person, feeling less stress, less need to drive himself so hard. But that was impossible to maintain when he couldn’t sleep, and became scared to. He forgot how long it had been since he’d had a real restful night. And he’d been so hopeful too, happy after Kyuhyun had gone.
A knock had him looking up, and Eunhyuk was half leaning in.
“Siwon and Sooyoung are here. Sounds like Sooyoung wants to go first. You ready for her?”
“Am I ever?” Zhou Mi joked. “Sure, send her in.”
Eunhyuk saluted and a few moments later, Sooyoung walked in, in an adorable little skirt outfit. He eyed the green shirt and wondered if there was a men’s version out there. But he stood, hugging her after the door had closed.
“It’s good to see you,” he said. “How have you been?”
“Really well, thank you. I’ve been looking forward to coming back.”
“And you got Siwon at the same time. That’s pretty incredible.”
“I know!” And she looked pleased. “I forced Siwon to take the second timeslot. He’s probably sitting out there fiddling with his phone and waiting to go back to work..”
“Oh, I could’ve seen you both together.”
“See, there’s the thing. He has a lot of opinions I’m not ready for yet. Even if I want to give my opinion on who he chooses!”
Ah, siblings. Though he could understand Sooyoung wanting to make her own opinions before having her big brother weigh in. She wanted very much to be a wife and mother, but wanted those things on her own terms. He was the same when it came to the big decisions, and it was up to him to respect her wishes, and do the best job for her that he could. As a friend, and a provider. But her folder was on top of his stack, and he brought it closer. Even as he organized his thoughts, she put a hand over his, catching his eye.
“You look really pale. Are you feeling okay?”
“I didn’t get enough sleep last night,” he said, trying to sit up straighter. “But don’t worry! These matches didn’t come while I was half asleep.”
She laughed, her eyes twinkling. “Well, that’s good. I don’t want to be matched with a grandfather.”
“I forgot… Did you tell me that?” he teased. But he didn’t let the jest stand, reverting to professional behavior, even if he knew her well. “I have two men here for you to take a look at. I’ve spoken to both of them personally, and looked over their profiles. I want you to take a look, and see where your interest lies.”
Each profile was topped with two pictures. One candid and one formal, because it showed personality. There were the personal statements, hobbies, and likes. Family and religious background. Some that were technicalities, some that were the draws. The commonalities that drew people to people. He could almost hear her think as she read through them, flipping between pages and images, and details. Though he kept himself looking busy, at least, because he didn’t want to rush her - or sway her. He knew which of the two suited his thoughts more, but one thing he could never be was her. And the human capacity for choice and reason defied all else. She glanced up, with one profile in her right hand, and one in her left. She was right handed, so wondered how significant that was.
“I find this one more attractive, but I like this profile more,” she said, and waved the one in her right hand. “It seems to fit better. But they’re both tall! You really got that.”
“You should be able to wear your heels with confidence,” he told her. Height had definitely been one of her requests. However, had he had that moment of intuition about a man shy of her minimum height requirement, there wouldn’t have been anything to do. Looks changed. Compatibility at it’s fundamental core was what he looked for.
He smiled, and crossed his legs. “Between those two options, which do you think I’d have you choose?”
“The less attractive one. I mean, it’s not like he’s ugly! He’s cute. I like his face.”
And he confirmed her thoughts. “Based on knowing you, and what you were looking for in a man, yes. I feel it would be a good match. At least to meet him, see if you click on a personal level. He’s not the last man in Seoul.”
“Are you saying he’s not good enough?” she asked.
“I’m saying I can’t do the feeling for you. You’re the one who will know if you click, if you want to see more of him.”
“You mean you can’t court him for me?”
“I don’t have the right parts for that,” he said, winking at her.
She laughed, and smiled back down at the profile. “Okay. Yeah. I’d like to meet him.”
“Great. I’ll call him, make sure he’s okay. I’ll have him set up a date. You won’t have to do anything but show up and make him wonder where you’ve been all his life.”
Zhou Mi understood the way she blew out a held breath. It was the first step, and blind dates were scary. But she was an articulate, secure woman who had a lot to give, and a lot she deserved to receive. But he had a few other warnings, as he rolled his chair forward a little.
“If he pressures you for any kind of physical contact, especially before there’s an understanding between you… You can call me if you ever need to, and you’ll have an army at your back. The men I talk to genuinely want to marry and have a family, but there are always those who… who need to learn how to be respectful men. You should be able to get to know any of your dates and feel safe and respected. I tell this to all my clients.”
“No need to barter my body for love, in other words,” she said. “I’ve dated, and have friends who have dated, and I’ve told them the same thing.”
“Good. Did you have any other questions?”
“I don’t think so,” she said. “I’m not going to stay through Siwon’s appointment. I can’t sit out there with Eunhyuk after we’ve talked.”
“I understand.” Eunhyuk was a little too close. But he was glad she was taking strides forward for herself. They stood together, and he hugged her. Some clients it was easy to feel close to, to hug easily. He liked that connection, because he genuinely cared about the outcome. Though with Sooyoung, she had the benefit of him knowing her for years.
“I’ll call you soon,” he promised.
“Okay. And I’ll send in my brother.”
The devil was back in her eyes, and he waved as she went out. Packaging up her potential suitors, and setting them aside before Siwon appeared in his doorway. Just as handsome and polished as his profile images suggested, Siwon held out a hand as they both greeted each other, and sized each other up. Siwon was in business, in an obviously well-tailored suit. Taking after his father, an expanding their business interests. Things Zhou Mi knew, in his research, because he needed that information. It shed light on what it was that Siwon was looking for. And though Siwon had filled out all of his forms, there was nothing that replaced talking face to face.
“It’s so nice to see you. I’m glad we were able to work out a time for you to come in,” he told Siwon, and offered the chair beside his desk.
“I’m sorry it took this long,” Siwon apologized graciously. “I know you offered for me to come in after hours, but our quarter just finished. I feel more able to start this process on the right foot, rather than heaping stress on it.”
“Don’t worry about that.”
“Sooyoung was being coy as she left. You set her up with someone?”
Zhou Mi laughed, caught between the sibling interest. “You’ll have to hear the details from her! But I promise I’m doing everything to make sure she ends up with a good man.”
That seemed to comfort Siwon, who nodded. “Tell me what you need from me, then.”
“I just want to hear from you, what you’re looking for.”
Zhou Mi felt a little bit like a confessor in those times, watching eyes go thoughtful. It was only the truth that could help him, not fairy tales. Sometimes, when he was matching, he could almost hear their words being played back at him. Like it was the truth in their wants that guided his intuition, that made him make the right choice.
“I want someone who is truly beautiful on the inside. Someone I could call my friend, who would be there for me. Be my wife, mother of my children. Be glad to see me home. Someone who could travel the world with me, or go running together, or just be…normal. She wouldn’t have to work, but if she wanted- I’d want her to be happy and fulfilled, because-“
Zhou Mi’s eyebrows rose as Siwon paused. “Because?”
“I want her to be happy,” Siwon clarified. “I think she would be happier with me, and our family that way. I don’t mean that as oddly as it sounds.”
Zhou Mi shook his head. “No, it makes perfect sense. I’m sure from a business perspective that’s true as well. A happy employee is a productive and engaged employee. But with a spouse, there’s the care for their happiness also. It’s give and take. So you’d want a woman who wants to see the world. Someone sophisticated, who could fit into your world. Intelligent, kind.”
“Yes. Someone I’d be glad to introduce to my parents, and someone I wouldn’t ever want to leave.”
“And so someone who would also understand that your hours can sometimes be long. Someone to share you life outside of that.”
All the tension seemed to leave Siwon’s body. “Yes. Sooyoung told me you were good.”
“It’s not all about what I can do. You and your future wife are the most important parts. I wanted to meet you before I started looking. I’m glad I did. What I’ll do now, is look. Ideally, I’d like to meet with you again to show you candidates, like with Sooyoung. I think you’re also a candidate to choose directly. Get to know someone on a date instead of at a party.”
“Thank you,” Siwon said.
And Zhou Mi smiled. That was what he did. Though as he showed Siwon out, he began to feel worse. The little energy high that was matching, combined with the sugar crash, had his legs wobbling as he walked back to his door. He paused, steadying himself on the jamb and looked at Eunhyuk to make sure he hadn’t seen.
“You look like you need something stronger than the coffee we have here,” Eunhyuk told him.
“Probably,” Zhou Mi admitted.
Eunhyuk promised to bring him something and he made it to his chair. Gulping more of his sugary tea, in hopes that would lift him a little.
It was like the walls moved and he reached out to steady them. Staring at his own fingers flailing and losing his balance.
“Will you help my Mommy?”
He gasped. The blood. So much blood. And the voice of the child from his dream. The woman’s face, blank in death, and the child, alone. He keened and reached. If he could just see. But she couldn’t be there. It was his office. His office. He reached for her.
And he fell. And fell.
***
Kyuhyun was in a pleasant mood when he made it to Heartstrings. He’d spent an interesting evening with Zhou Mi, had gotten a good night’s sleep for a change, and work had run smoothly even with Tablo in meetings all morning. Not that getting there hadn’t made him wonder. He’d spent a whole evening with one boss, while his two other bosses were hanging out together. But even if he liked Tablo, he was way more likely to pry with Eunhyuk. Maybe that said something about how they were getting to know each other, but he didn’t analyze it too long. Eunhyuk seemed in a fine mood, but it was Zhou Mi who came in from lunch looking like a zombie. He had a joke all lined up about their game playing, and Zhou Mi barely acknowledge him with a wave, before getting his phone from Eunhyuk, and going into his office and closing the door.
That cut away all his expectation about asking any kind of questions, since Eunhyuk just traded knowing and worried glances with him, and looked back to his computer. Okay then. No teasing about the outing with Tablo, no fun remembering with Zhou Mi. He slouched in his chair, and kept organizing emails. It was an hour after that, after Zhou Mi had finished his two meetings, that Eunhyuk passed his desk.
“I’m going to go get something caffeinated for Zhou Mi. Need anything?”
“I’m fine, thanks,” Kyuhyun said, and smiled. As the door closed behind Eunhyuk, he glanced back at Zhou Mi’s door and frowned. He’d left so they could get rest for work. If his being there, staying that long, had caused Zhou Mi to look that tired, then he owed Zhou Mi an apology. Zhou Mi would wave it off, saying it had been fun. And he was a grown man, but-
“No!”
Kyuhyun started out of his thoughts. The loud, urgent denial. His first thought that Zhou Mi was on the phone, or that he’d gotten more bad news. He swiveled his chair, and stood with hesitation. He didn’t want to eavesdrop, just see if Zhou Mi was okay, that was all. But something hit the floor. Not a body. Maybe a knee.
And there was the moan. Zhou Mi’s voice. He couldn’t just stay back, crossing to the door in two quick strides.
He knocked. “Zhou Mi, are you okay?”
When there was no answer, he turned the knob, heart thudding against his ribs. Zhou Mi wasn’t at his desk. As the door swung further, he saw Zhou Mi, legs stretched out and sitting on the floor, rocking, almost shaking.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asked, rushing forward, and getting down to Zhou Mi’s level.
“I can’t tell what’s real,” Zhou Mi moaned, clutching at his head. It was too easy to see the pain there, the fear. But he didn’t know what to do. He’d never been good about consoling people about things he did understand, much less about things he didn’t. Maybe Zhou Mi had fallen asleep.
“This is real here,” he said, touching Zhou Mi’s arm. “Let’s get you up. Some water.”
Maybe a little water to the head would help as well. At least he wasn’t trembling any more.
Zhou Mi accepted his offer of help, gripping his arms and getting onto his knees.
“Okay, let’s-“
His whole world tilted as Zhou Mi lunged. Deceptive strength in those arms, both yanking him close and knocking them both off balance. Only one of his arms flailing out behind him kept them from going flat to the floor. The sound from his throat was foreign to him, Zhou Mi’s face close, so close. The instant tension of his body, the craning of his head- That was all the separated, kept them from a kiss. Zhou Mi looked possessed. He squeezed his eyes closed, trying to get his brain back together.
“What are you doing?” he demanded, voice weak, heart galloping in his chest.
“Then this is real,” Zhou Mi murmured.
And all of the fight left Zhou Mi’s body. Suddenly there wasn’t a man clutching at him, but one bonelessly being supported by him. He struggled up, the arm that supported them protesting at their combined weight. Zhou Mi wasn’t unconscious. Just seemed to be limp from relief. To know it wasn’t a dream. He patted Zhou Mi’s back and just let him have his moment, all the while keeping him from becoming a Zhou Mi-sized puddle on the ground.
Kyuhyun didn’t have time to consider what it meant, that Zhou Mi knew he was in reality because Kyuhyun wouldn’t kiss him, because the outer door being opened had his head shooting up.
“Eunhyuk, could you come in here?”
He didn’t want to deal with it alone. Eunhyuk’s eyes widened to see them both on the floor, Zhou Mi’s head on Kyuhyun’s shoulder.
“I found him like this. I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“You okay?” Eunhyuk asked, crouching and holding Zhou Mi’s hand.
“Yes. I think so, now,” Zhou Mi said. And between the three of them, got Zhou Mi onto his chair.
“What was that?” Eunhyuk demanded. “That wasn’t just lack of sleep.”
And after a minute of just breathing, Zhou Mi looked up again. “I have something to tell you. Both of you.”
***
Visions, Zhou Mi said. Visions of murders that were real. Zhou Mi wobbled on his chair and pulled out the newspapers, detailing dates. He had a paper he’d written dates and times of his visions. Nightmares. He remembered the newscast the night before, and Zhou Mi’s instant discomfort. Perhaps the murders were too close to Zhou Mi, or he was feeling too vulnerable. Kyuhyun’s stomach was in knots, from seeing Zhou Mi sprawled and in pain, to wrapping his head around nightmares. Clearly more than just a simple nightmare. Too little sleep, too much emotional trauma. But what Zhou Mi seemed to be telling them wasn’t that he’d been reacting to anything. It had been that he’d seen it before it had happened. Or, even as it had.
“Today was different. It was an echo of last night. I was just sitting here, and I couldn’t stop it. It was the first time it happened here.”
“Maybe you fell asleep,” Kyuhyun offered.
But Eunhyuk was beyond placation. “So you’ve been having these horrific nightmares for weeks. No wonder you’ve been looking so ragged. I thought you said no more secrets!”
Zhou Mi almost seemed to vibrate, standing out of his chair, and staring at Eunhyuk with hurt all over his face. The emotion was almost palpable, Zhou Mi lacking all control.
“This has nothing to do with the business!” Zhou Mi shouted back.
And Zhou Mi moved, faster than Kyuhyun had ever seen, pushing his way through his office doorway. But after, it was more of a stagger. And Eunhyuk was frozen.
So it was up to Kyuhyun, jogging after Zhou Mi and getting a hand on his arm before he could make it to the door to the hallway.
“Hey. He’s just trying to help. And you’re still not steady. You should sit down.”
Zhou Mi released a breath that all but trembled through the air, trying to keep turning away from Kyuhyun. But Kyuhyun, still hanging onto his arm, finally edged around far enough to see part of Zhou Mi’s face. And the tear tracking beside Zhou Mi’s nose. It had sick panic clutching his stomach.
“Hey. Hey, you don’t have to do that. Hey.”
He tugged, and Zhou Mi complied. But instead of Zhou Mi just stopping, as Kyuhyun had intended, he turned, clutching Kyuhyun close in a different way than on the office floor. Breath hiccing as he pressed his face against Kyuhyun’s neck and clung. Like Kyuhyun was his only, stock-still, lifeline.
“What’s got you all worked up and stupid now?” Eunhyuk asked, though his voice was soft. He was where Kyuhyun couldn’t see, undoubtedly so he could see Zhou Mi’s face.
Zhou Mi shook his head, the feeling of it almost like a shiver as close as they were pressed. And his voice was still thick.
“I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know what to do.”
One of Eunhyuk’s arms went around Kyuhyun’s back, and Eunhyuk hugged them both from the side. Zhou Mi loosed one arm enough to hold Eunhyuk as well, but didn’t take his face away from Kyuhyun’s neck. He could hear Eunhyuk murmuring little insults to distract Zhou Mi from his distress. Tears are going to stain Kyuhyun’s shirt. Why are you so magical? And the little puffs of air that indicated laughter, were directed right into Kyuhyun’s collar. It sent his whole body on red alert, inhaling almost against his will. A long, slow drag of air that brought in every smell Zhou Mi had to offer. The hint of sweat, with note of fear, some kind of light scent from his work shirt, something else that lingered at his neck. Faint and vaguely citrusy, making him think of nothing so much as Zhou Mi lounging and sipping orange juice. With progressively less clothes.
And when he had his boss, his friend, in distress against him, those were the last kind of thoughts he wanted to indulge. But Zhou Mi’s grip was strong, and he couldn’t have saved himself. But as he stroked Zhou Mi’s lower back, feeling both the warmth of his skin and the slowing tremble through Zhou Mi’s shirt, he didn’t want to. Awkward sexual attraction mid-comfort. And he’d barely finished the idea, before Eunhyuk slapped both him and Zhou Mi on the butt, sending them bumping into each other in surprise.
“Okay. Let’s talk this out.”
Though Zhou Mi just leaned closer, getting his whole head on Kyuhyun’s shoulder, and making Kyuhyun’s back stiffen up like tree.
“Can I just stay like this?”
“Kyuhyun isn’t a dog.”
He and Eunhyuk shared a wry smile over Zhou Mi’s head, but Zhou Mi did let him go then. He wasn’t sure which of them felt the loss more.
***
Zhou Mi went home, after the event at the office. Unable to stay there and see Eunhyuk’s concern, and Kyuhyun’s confusion. He wouldn’t have believed himself either. And that was the last thing he wanted, from Kyuhyun, or Eunhyuk. It wasn’t some kind of crime drama, where he saw things about the murders he could take to the police. There were no faces, or names, or identifiers. He’d gone over every detail until he’d made himself sick.
He’d refused Eunhyuk to come with him. Not because Eunhyuk had loosed his concern for him, but because he’d needed that time alone to collect himself. He slept, dressing in his most comfortable clothes. His room darkened by his sleep mask, he’d rested well for the first time in days. And after, he sat in the growing darkness, staring at the wall, and gathering himself.
And when Eunhyuk had texted, asking if he could come over, Zhou Mi had agreed. Eunhyuk let himself in, bringing Zhou Mi a covered dish of cut-up watermelon. And they sat together in silence, shoulder to shoulder on Zhou Mi’s bed, as Zhou Mi ate.
“I wish I had answers,” Zhou Mi said, and felt tired to the bone. “Why I’m seeing it. Who the killer is. How to make it stop. I didn’t want to worry you.”
“But you did anyway. I wouldn’t have teased you so much about being tired. You’ve never had these kinds of visions before?”
“No. I called today. And asked my grandmother if she’d ever had dreams, dreams that were true. She said… Sometimes about a baby coming to a client she had matched. But not often. I don’t understand. Matching is a gift. I understand it. This is just…horrible. If it’s the matching that brings it, I almost don’t want that either. I don’t want this.”
“If this killer is caught, it can’t last forever. The papers all said it looks like it’s the same person. This has to have an end. You have to stick it out. For yourself. That’s what makes you happy. Don’t wish it away yet.”
“Maybe it’s this place. Being in Seoul, being near the murders. Remember, I owed you a gift for finding Kyuhyun. Maybe we should all get away. You and me. Kyuhyun. Tablo?”
Eunhyuk stiffened beside him, and he wondered at that. But it wasn’t the time yet. Eunhyuk took his hand, and they discussed where they wanted to go. Outlandish places. The top of Mt. Everest, or to waddle with penguins, or the moon. All with Eunhyuk’s shoulder bumping his, and his laugh drawing Zhou Mi’s.
But they decided on the beach. A weekend getaway. Something he thought they all desperately needed.
***
Zhou Mi looked at least fifty percent better the next day, when he came in from lunch. Flashing a smile that seemed genuine, compared to how strained he was the day before. It made Kyuhyun breathe out a bit of relief, since he’d had no idea how Zhou Mi was through the night. He hadn’t let himself dwell, but it would’ve been a lie if he’d said it hadn’t been on his mind.
“Ah, Kyuhyun, can I see you as soon as you are free?” Zhou Mi said, grabbing up his phone, and giving Kyuhyun a moment to focus on the blue jacket he wore.
“Sure? I’m free now.”
Zhou Mi made a sweeping gesture, as though beckoning Kyuhyun into his lair. Eunhyuk shared a grin with him as Kyuhyun passed by, and Zhou Mi closed the door behind them.
“You feeling better?” Kyuhyun asked, as Zhou Mi sat.
“I am,” Zhou Mi said. “Eunhyuk stayed over, and that was a comfort. I think it helped just to know I wasn’t holding it all in. But I wanted to thank you for yesterday. Eunhyuk said I shouldn’t apologize.”
But Zhou Mi kind of shrugged, letting Kyuhyun know he was doing just that.
“Don’t worry. It’d freak anyone out.”
And he was glad that Eunhyuk had gone to Zhou Mi, anyway. He had been sure Eunhyuk would, when they’d left work and Eunhyuk had told Kyuhyun not to worry about Zhou Mi that night. But it was nice to know.
“Oh, first thing’s first. Eunhyuk and I were talking and we want to get away for a weekend. A couple of days away from the city. We were thinking the beach. Hopping a bus, just getting away. But we were hoping you could come, too. Eunhyuk is inviting Tablo. Heartstrings will pick up the hotel tab. It’ll be a sanity retreat.”
A vacation with all his bosses. His heart went pitty-pat. “Wow. Uh. Sure? I…The beach sounds great.”
“Great! We’ll pay you for any time spent away from work, too. Maybe leave mid-afternoon on a Friday. I’ll let you know a more concrete date really soon.”
“Sure. Thanks.”
He was flustered, and almost flattered, that he was being included. But he kind of got why, if Tablo was going. Zhou Mi was a third wheel otherwise.
“We’ll be happy if you can come. Oh, and I got a lot done this morning!” Zhou Mi said, and then kept right on rambling. “And I found you another match. A better one, this time. He’s just a couple of years older than you, lives close, working. I stopped myself from actually calling him for you, when the site turned him up.”
Kyuhyun sat, a little like he’d been run over by a plow, as Zhou Mi chattered, speaking quick, but not awkwardly. More like he was excited, which put far too many different kinds of uncertainty running through Kyuhyun. The man in the profile that Kyuhyun was handed looking very little like Zhou Mi. Shorter even than Kyuhyun, though his smile was instantly eye-catching in one of the provided pictures. Young, good looking. Pretty much no reason for Kyuhyun to say no. And with Zhou Mi watching his reaction.
“He’s cute,” Kyuhyun said after a moment, forcing up a smile. Any other random day, he’d have been interested. It just felt like he had too many things in his head. Too many of those surrounding Zhou Mi. The nightmares, the worry, the attraction. As long as the date wasn’t that night. He could deal. Get himself in the right headspace. “So I should message him?”
“I would,” Zhou Mi suggested. “Just like with the other. And you can do it now, so it’ll be waiting for him when he checks his email next. Don’t worry, we won’t penalize your work time.”
Zhou Mi gave his half-wink that moved most of his face and Kyuhyun laughed, making to leave. “Okay, I’ll do that now. If you don’t need anything else?”
“That’s it!” Zhou Mi responded cheerfully, sounding like he had more when Kyuhyun had first met him. And for all that depressed Kyuhyun, he wasn’t sure why. “Oh, but let me know if he responds!”
“I will,” Kyuhyun said, and went back to his desk. The cursor blinked angrily at him until he started typing.
“Hi, my name is Kyuhyun. I saw your profile…”
***
They set up a date to meet for bubble tea, on the weekend, and Zhou Mi seemed blissed by the connection. The whole week, in fact, Zhou Mi was on some matchmaking high. It was both comforting and frightening in equal measures.
“He’s forcing himself a bit, hoping if he’s cheerful the nightmares won’t come back,” Eunhyuk murmured once. “Don’t worry, Zhou Mi the Matchmaking Elf will fade.”
Not like there was anything else he could do. He couldn’t suggest that Zhou Mi take him out to dinner again, especially since Eunhyuk was very carefully spending as much time as possible with Zhou Mi. And it wasn’t the food that would’ve been Kyuhyun’s purpose, which was ridiculous to consider when he had a blind date upcoming.
Dressing with care, in a nice enough t-shirt and jeans, he loitered outside of the subway station they were meeting at. Time to kill, he called Ryeowook.
“Waiting for my date,” Kyuhyun said, leaning back against the railing outside the subway entrance.
“Ooh. Not with your cute boss this time?”
“No,” Kyuhyun said a little shortly. “He set me up on this.”
“Oh. The one-on-one matching. Because you’re special.”
“Because I’m an employee,” Kyuhyun retorted. “So the guy I’m meeting is one Zhou Mi found, and suggested. He’s a couple of years older than me, so hopefully we’ll have more in common.”
“Let me know how it goes?”
“Mmhmm. So, how are things with the guy?” Kyuhyun almost sing-songed, glad to get the attention off of him.
“I really wish you wouldn’t tease me about him!” Ryeowook scolded. “His name is Jongwoon, you know that. And we…”
“Yes?”
“We went out for coffee. We have a lot to talk about! The restaurant, and stuff.”
Kyuhyun waited a beat. “Was there kissing?”
“Do you make out on your first dates?” Ryeowook retorted.
“Oh, so it was a date?” And Kyuhyun grinned, hearing Ryeowook building up a to what surely was going to be an epic explosion of words. Then he caught sight of a face he thought he recognized. “Oh wait, I think he’s here. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Kyuhyun!”
“Bye bye,” he said, and had to bite his lip not to grin all over from discomfiting Ryeowook.
“Kyuhyun?” he was asked and he nodded. “Hi! I’m Donghae.”
And Kyuhyun was treated to one of the fabulous smiles that was only more attractive in person as they greeted each other.
With his cool clothes, Donghae looked like he’d stepped off a manga page. Though Kyuhyun wasn’t exactly the ugly duckling waiting to be transformed, either.
“I was excited to see your message! I hadn’t been signed up very long,” Donghae told him as they walked. “What about you?”
“I work for the company actually,” Kyuhyun said. “So I’ve been on one other date, but… My boss actually suggested I message you.”
“Oh wow. So we’ve been matched by a pro? Wow, so what do you do?”
They sat with their bubble tea, which Donghae paid for, and discussed just that. Their jobs, interests. Palpable enthusiasm from Donghae, a kind of genial good-naturedness that had no pauses falling in the conversation.
When they had touched briefly on their families, Donghae had gotten a bit choked up, speaking frankly about his father who had passed. It wasn’t something Kyuhyun begrudged him for. But a real, deep part of who Donghae was. But though Donghae’s voice was strained for a while, they didn’t linger on the bad things. Intent instead on getting to know each other.
“Let’s walk around a bit,” Donghae suggested.
Walking actually ended up more like window shopping on the crowded street, wandering in and out of stores, and gawking at electronics. The best part had been when they’d had a man dressed like Santa Claus pass them on the street ahead, causing them to exchange incredulous looks.
“Is it Christmas in July?” Kyuhyun asked.
“I don’t know. We should run after him and see if he has presents for us!”
“No!” Kyuhyun said, grabbing Donghae’s arm.
And no one around them realized why they were cracking up in the middle of the sidewalk.
“I think he would definitely decide we were naughty then,” Kyuhyun chuckled.
And Donghae looked like a kid, laughing at Kyuhyun’s joke. It was so…easy. Effortless fun. Donghae’s face, his grin. The way he squeezed Kyuhyun’s hand, and pointed out a brand of soap he liked. It felt almost like he was out with a friend, almost. Someone who got his sense of humor, and teased him, dared him. Nothing staid about Donghae. Definitely nothing staid about his body. Not like Kyuhyun was blind.
But his quota of people-time was quite filled by the time they’d looped back to the subway station.
“I had a really good time. I hope we can meet again when you’re free,” Kyuhyun said, smiling at Donghae.
“Sure! Oh! Can we exchange phone numbers?”
They did, and Donghae left on a separate train than Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun felt satisfied. Pleased. Exhausted. Physically, mentally. His mind tried to insinuate how the date could’ve gone better, little things. Not that Donghae had so much done anything wrong. As first dates went, it had been upbeat, informative, and fun.
“You’re just trying to make yourself unhappy,” Kyuhyun muttered to himself, and exited at his station. He had a day and a half before he had to report back on his date to Zhou Mi. Ah, and there was the problem.
***
Thrilled. Zhou Mi was thrilled. If anyone asked Zhou Mi about how hearing the results of Kyuhyun’s date made him felt, the word would’ve been thrilled. He was thrilled all over, like a perpetually happy cat. Kyuhyun hadn’t really been looking at him while he’d recounted the date. Walking around, bubble tea, lots of laughs. Sense of humor was important to Kyuhyun, so that was great.
“No kiss?” Zhou Mi asked.
“It was the middle of the day,” Kyuhyun said shrugging one shoulder.
“But did you want to?”
It mattered. It spoke to chemistry, if nothing else. And he ignored the part of him that almost didn’t want to know.
“Yeah, it would’ve been okay,” Kyuhyun said. “Maybe next time. Oop. That’s him, texting me.”
The startling vibration of Kyuhyun’s phone had alerted them both to that.
Thrilled, Zhou Mi reminded himself as he watched Kyuhyun tuck away his phone. He was so thrilled.
“So, about the beach trip. Not this Friday, but next. Is that okay with you?”
Kyuhyun readily agreed, and Zhou Mi was glad. Glad in a genuine way, and not the false emotion he was trying to saddle himself with. Getting to spend time with Kyuhyun, with Eunhyuk and Tablo, away from the office, was something he was counting down the days toward. He just wanted the trip to go without a hitch, for it to be relaxing, and refreshing. And if Kyuhyun was still dating-
He shook his head. None of that. But the date on the calendar mocked him. He’d successfully set up Kyuhyun to date a man who was well suited for him. And it was Zhou Mi’s time to go out, and find a man for himself. For one night, at least. One night to forget what he couldn’t have, and focus on what he could.
Eunhyuk didn’t press him on the fact, probably out of deference to Zhou Mi still recovering, and it let Kyuhyun be oblivious. No catty little fights to clue Kyuhyun in on what Zhou Mi was going to do that evening.
Zhou Mi wasn’t quite sure why he wanted Kyuhyun to stay unaware. Okay, that wasn’t quite true. He knew, but was disregarding it for reasons of sanity. He was sending Kyuhyun out on dates. He was glad for the chance to see Kyuhyun in a happy, long term relationship. He was glad for the chance to help most people with that. Something about Kyuhyun made it different. Maybe it was the way his eyes were drawn to him, or the fact that he calmed to feel Kyuhyun near. He could try and attribute it to Kyuhyun’s personality, but the fact that the man he cozied up to that night had a passing resemblance to Kyuhyun’s build was not lost on Zhou Mi. Following the man back to his place for one reason only, and taking every precaution.
But trying to keep Kyuhyun out of his head as the man rocked above him, was something he could not begin to try.
***
Getting out of the city for a couple of days sounded like a better idea the closer it got. Eunhyuk had followed up Zhou Mi’s questioning, assuring Kyuhyun again all the expenses were on the company. If he hadn’t heard it from Zhou Mi first, Kyuhyun would have thought it was a company outing only, that maybe Eunhyuk was using it to get Zhou Mi away for a while - except that Tablo was going, too. So perhaps Zhou Mi was getting a vacation, but Zhou Mi was also getting a companion. A companion named Kyuhyun. He pondered feeling awkward about it for about ten seconds, but even if they were pairing up two by two, it didn’t actually mean anything. Tablo and Eunhyuk weren’t dating, that he knew of, and Kyuhyun was still chatting with Donghae online until they could meet up again. So there was no reason to feel awkward that he was being named as Zhou Mi’s counterpart. Just four guys, going to the beach, and relaxing. It reminded him of weekend high school trips, only they were getting out of part of a day of work.
They left right from work, in fact. Kyuhyun took a bag and his laptop to Tablo’s office, and worked the morning before changing into his comfortable clothes to leave. They met up with Eunhyuk and Zhou Mi, and made it onto the bus out of town with just minutes to spare. Tablo beside him, with Zhou Mi and Eunhyuk across the aisle. Or at least, it stayed that way for about half an hour, until Zhou Mi stood and offered Tablo his spot. Zhou Mi slid into the seat beside Kyuhyun, sharing a knowing looking with Kyuhyun. It made Kyuhyun glad, oddly. Eunhyuk got what he wanted, without leaning around Zhou Mi to do it. Besides that, it was true that he was more comfortable around Zhou Mi, but there was that second factor. Like the way Zhou Mi’s legs crossing caught his eye, or Zhou Mi’s fingers as he settled in with a magazine.
“First thing you want to do when we get there and get checked in?” Zhou Mi asked him.
Kyuhyun didn’t have to think long, after considering the length of their bus ride, that he’d already eaten his lunch, and the number of snacks he had.
“Eat?” he ventured. And Zhou Mi burst into laughter, slapping at Kyuhyun’s knee.
“Besides that. Of course we’ll eat. No, we’ll starve you the whole weekend.”
Kyuhyun pretended to stand. “Is it too late to get off the bus?”
The helpless laughter beside him had him laughing too, though he had to look away before Zhou Mi looked up, or be caught staring at his smile.
“I’m assuming you’re asking if I want to go to the beach,” Kyuhyun said.
“Yes. It’d be nice to talk a walk around, see what there is to do before we settle in. We’ll have plenty of day left! But you’ll go with me even if they won’t, right?”
It begged the question of just what exactly Zhou Mi assumed Tablo and Eunhyuk would be doing. If it was some kind of couple get away, they were doing it wrong, because Kyuhyun had been checked with to see if he’d be okay with rooming with Tablo. Which he was, but Eunhyuk had asked that. But he shrugged, and dug into his bag for the candy he’d brought.
“Sure. That’s why we’re going, right?”
Zhou Mi grinned and settled into his seat. And took Kyuhyun’s offered candy graciously. His expectations from an outing with all of his bosses were certainly different than they would be if he had been with his friends, and he was the youngest. But he still expected to have a good time, no matter what.
***
Even if that good time meant dragging a shrieking Zhou Mi into the water. It could be said that Zhou Mi deserved it, because the second they had gotten down to the beach, Zhou Mi had turned to Eunhyuk and dared him to the point of pain - to run full tilt into the water, no matter how cold it was.
There had been a face-off, Eunhyuk with his hands on his hips, and Zhou Mi staring him down as Kyuhyun and Tablo looked on.
“Everyone else has to go in the water, too,” Eunhyuk bargained.
“As long as you go first,” Zhou Mi agreed.
Their flip flops and towels made a little pile beyond the wet sand, and Kyuhyun nearly broke his ribs laughing as Eunhyuk took a deep breath and ran and hopped and almost belly surfed into the water. He looked like a drowned blond baby chick, and Kyuhyun crouched down to continue laughing as Eunhyuk stood and glared.
“Come on! I’m waiting!”
“I didn’t actually agree!” Tablo called.
“You!”
“I’d better go before he comes out and drags me,” Tablo said. “I’m not going alone.”
Kyuhyun was stared onto his feet, and he went, letting the water lap at his feet and ankles. Cool, but not freezing. But he was out to his knees, when he looked back and saw that Zhou Mi was still flirting with the water’s edge.
“You waiting for high tide so the water will come to you?” he asked, feeling the wet edge of his shorts starting to hit his warmer leg.
Zhou Mi waved at him, and took another few steps. “Maybe Eunhyuk won’t notice.”
No matter how distracted Eunhyuk was by Tablo, Kyuhyun was pretty sure he’d notice.
“Maybe he won’t, but I will. You’re the one who said we had to eat fast so we could get in as much beach today as possible.”
Before the sun went down, before it got cool, both of which were still true. But Zhou Mi was still lagging. Something about not being in an office, a building, the city, made him feel more free.
“Need someone to hold your hand?” he mocked, holding one out.
“No, I can-“
“Come on. We don’t have all day.”
He grabbed Zhou Mi’s arm, without asking, and as the water started it’s slide in, he and Zhou Mi went out. From the sound it was like he was killing Zhou Mi and it almost made him stop as Zhou Mi struggled. The rising wail as the water rose and wetted them both to chest level.
Both of Zhou Mi’s arms were held above the water, like that was going to save him somehow. Though Kyuhyun had given in, letting his arms float around and try and keep his balance in the moving sand.
“You can swim right?” he asked, as Zhou Mi pouted and glared at him.
“Yes, I can swim,” Zhou Mi told him and lowered his arms so he could skim his hands along the top of the wave. “It’s colder than I thought!”
“You should dunk in,” Kyuhyun suggested. And he really didn’t mean it to come out as a threat. Even if Zhou Mi somehow took it that way.
“No. Kyuhyun, no!”
But watching Zhou Mi flee through the water made him laugh twice as hard.
***
“Zhou Mi will warm up to the water,” Eunhyuk said, laughing as Kyuhyun elicited whoops and protests from Zhou Mi. “It takes him a little but when he gets into it, you can’t get him out.”
Zhou Mi had been right. Getting out of the city had been a good move. Just sitting next to Tablo on the bus ride to their destination had been full of fun. They’d passed a game back and forth on his phone, talking about their week and how nice it was not to be at work. Though he hadn’t said it that loud, knowing how close Zhou Mi was. And he wasn’t taking bets on when Zhou Mi was going to break out his laptop and work despite the getaway. He half wished they’d been able to take their guitars with them, have a little cookout on the beach and sing songs, the four of them. Another time. That was the nice thing about having Tablo close and spending time with him. They were almost guaranteed another time, of some kind. Tablo’s ironic laughs, and shoving during the trip had faded into napping. Changing in their respective rooms, because Zhou Mi was a child going after a present. The beach - and that was all he could see.
He walked, and felt the sand give in the water, wobbling a little as Tablo walked beside him. Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun had finally halted their chase a hundred feet down the water, paused and both staring at something they’d found. A shell or a rock or something. He didn’t want to go far from their shoes and towels. Not that he really thought someone would run off with them, but it was a caution. Someone had to be cautious, and sometimes he was the one who was between him and Zhou Mi.
“Looks like they’re not going to kill each other any more,” Tablo said.
The silk sound of Tablo’s voice should’ve been enough to make him wary.
But his only sense of impending doom came just before he was being dunked under the water. The roar of it filled his ears for several seconds before he pushed up, gasping, and hearing Tablo’s laugh as his ears cleared. His hands grasped at Tablo’s shirt for stability and dragged them both down.
The laugh sputtered out of him as Tablo cursed, and they struggled to stay upright as a wave starting to pull them back out with it.
“That was evil,” he accused, still trying to get his dripping hair out of his eyes.
“You got me back,” Tablo croaked, but he was grinning. “Hey, watch out.”
Maybe it was the water’s fault. The wave coming back in catching him by surprise, and making him stumble. Tablo grabbing his arms, his sides, and holding on until they could both stand.
“Maybe it’s telling us to get out,” Eunhyuk joked, but words died on his lips, when he caught sight of Tablo’s face. Tablo’s hand against his back, the backing up of air into his lungs as he wondered at that curious expression.
“Do I have something on my face?” he asked, when the tension, and the touch, refused to let him go.
“Eunhyuk.“ Fingers against his cheek. His eyes closed almost on instinct. Anticipation, protection. Giving him precious time to think without wearing every thought naked on his face. Protection against the hand on his back that tightened and pulled him in.
His eyes opened and Tablo met them. Waiting, perhaps, for that. He felt searched, examined, breathless. And his fingers grasped the wrist of the arm Tablo was using to touch his face. Stay there. Don’t go. What’s happening?
“Ahoy!” Eunhyuk heard from behind him, and dropped his hand immediately. Zhou Mi’s voice was unmistakeable. “Look at these shells and rocks!”
“Let’s go,” Tablo said, and the smile was almost imperceptible. It was an expression he’d come to-
To feel something about.
Both Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun held things, though Zhou Mi was the one talking about the little rocks Kyuhyun had, so he had a feeling Kyuhyun had become pack mule. Making up for the near-drowning perhaps.
“This one made me think of us,” Zhou Mi said, holding out a rock with barnacles, his voice having the telltale sign of chill from the water as the fading sun warmed them a bit. “Which of us is the rock?”
“Why are you my friend?” Eunhyuk accused. “Come on. Let’s go get dry.”
In the end, the bits of the sea were redistributed, for someone else to find and admire.
But the moment in the water was far from forgotten.
***