The Cross ~ (1/1)

[clawofcat]

Title: The Cross
Author: ClawofCat
Timing: Season 6, Post-Wrecked
Rating: PG
Pairing: Implied B/A and B/S
Word Count: 360
Summary: Today she chooses something different. Today she wears a cross.

A/N: Written for 

Comments

[louise39]

She hasn’t needed the crutch for years

Buffy, in all her season 6 despair, remembering her younger self, her younger self's love.
The cross is both a reminder and a weapon to her.

[clawofcat]

I think what's especially hard for Buffy here is that the cross also symbolizes that her love hurts people. Dawn tearfully tells Spike that "everyone around me suffers and dies," and I think Buffy sort of has that same mindset here. But instead of being consumed by the pain, she acts, which is why she's off to see Spike. He makes manifest everything she fears about herself, except... he never breaks. And that's what makes Spike so perfect for Buffy. He's the one she couldn't kill or drive away. The one that stayed by her side, loved her for who and what she was. *sigh* I need to go read some Spuffy fic now. Gah, I love them.

[ellan_vannin]

But instead of being consumed by the pain, she acts, which is why she's off to see Spike.

You compared her to a circuit, too, which I think infers that if she let the pain stop with her, she'd "burn out".

She has a kinetic way of dealing with her pain/frustration. Certainly it's the driving force behind the angst that makes this season (and Spuffy) so rich and involved. But do you admire her for it? Or just the storytelling that trait lends itself to?

[clawofcat]

A lot of people don't like Buffy, just like a lot of people don't like Dawn. It so happens I write about the two Summers ladies the most of any female character on the show. To say that I admire Buffy isn't exactly true. I feel for her. I sympathize with her. She's had a real shit life, lost so much, and yet she still is able to hold it (mostly) together. The sort of conviction she has to not give up even if she feels like they'll be nothing left of her afterward is impressive. It makes me love her so much. It makes me cry for her because it can't be easier. So when I write Spuffy, I often write from her POV to try and explain her motivation and why she does these hurtful and self-destructive things to herself and others

[slaymesoftly]

Nicely angsty - and a definite season six feel to it. Good job. :)

[clawofcat]

Thanks! I couldn't help but slide Spike in there somehow. Writing exclusively about Buffy and Angel is always a little weird for me. But I'm working on it.

[slaymesoftly]

Writing exclusively about Buffy and Angel is always a little weird for me. But I'm working on it.

Why on earth would you want to do that? ROFL

[clawofcat]

*grins* Well, I dunno. I've got this thing in my head about trying to expand my repertoire and get over pairing hang-ups and all that. You know, personal growth and stuff. Not that I could ever see myself writing Bangel in a serious way. Which is why I set this in Season 6. So that I didn't have to.

I mean, freakin' sevendeadlyfun challenged me to write a meta on the possibilities of a sexual relationship between Spike and Xander in canon and post-NFA. Talk about a pairing I totally don't understand or think there is much possibility. But, hey, I'll take a crack at it anyway. I just sort of hate her for it though...

[stars_of_tears]

*nods* I agree with everyone, this scene could perfectly be inserted in S6 :)
Such pain inside Buffy... you captured that so well!

I'd love to see a sequel :)

[clawofcat]

Oh, yay! Seamless is good. I do love writing these little missing scene ficlets. As for Buffy, yeah, she's just a damn wreck. She needs a mom hug, like, stat. Poor dear.

We'll see about a sequel. If I get inspiration, then i'll try and kick something around the page. But just the idea of Buffy branding Spike with Angel's cross is sort of wrong and kinky and subtexty. I think he would probably like it. *cackles* Well, I would at any rate.

[dragonflylady77]

Oooh angsty!!

*shudders thinking what Spike is in for*

[clawofcat]

Yeah, Spike's probably in for a pretty rough night. Though, somehow, I feel like he would twist it so that is was either in his favor or de derived some pleasure out of it. Bet he'd indulged in a bit of cross-burning play before. Dru and he seemed like they were quite the kinksters themselves.

[dragonflylady77]

True...
And the Spuffy always kinda started with some kind of violence..

[red_satin_doll]

Though, somehow, I feel like he would twist it so that is was either in his favor or de derived some pleasure out of it. Bet he'd indulged in a bit of cross-burning play before. Dru and he seemed like they were quite the kinksters themselves.TOTALLY. I rewatched School Hard and Hash Light of day recently and was reminded that yes, Spike was a vampire, and all that implies. One bent on killing Buffy - if he'd had a soul or a chip he might have been sexually/emotionally attracted to Nikki Wood, and in fact I'm almost sure of it. And he would have received the same brush-off. Buffy gets a lot of flack for not giving in to him, but would any other slayer have done differently, except perhaps for Faith? (She might have been down with the sex but staked him in the morning

[angelus2hot]

Awwww! My Bangel and Spuffy heart just broke a bit.

Beautifully written!

[clawofcat]

Thanks for reading. It is heartbreaking for Buffy. Memories of Angel cause her pain and her relationship with Spike causes her shame. The girl really can't win. *pets her*

Perfect icon for this fic, btw!

[angelus2hot]

That's exactly what broke my heart. Poor Buffy whether she actually realized it or not she loved both vampires (in different ways)

Joss Whedon could at least have let her be happy with one of them.

And Thanks. The icon was made by moscow_watcher

[red_satin_doll]

Can you tell me where this illustration in your icon here (Spuffy w/ red background) came from? Not even so much the icon itself as the painting of the two of them; it certainly looks like a painting. Perhaps photoshopped. It's far more gorgeous than anything produced for the *cough* comics, even Jo Chen's artwork. (if this person - is it you - had been the illustrator, then at least they'd be worth looking at aesthetically. the story is another matter, of course.)