SO over this...

[introvertjmm]

I've never been the kind to coo over babies, I rarely played with baby dolls as a kid, I never babysat as a teenager, kids on an airplane make me almost homicidal and I think pregnancy and childbirth are two of the most disgusting things imaginable. I also generally like animals more than kids. On the flip side, I always thought it would be fun to

Comments

[introvertjmm]

I'm

[the_punk_hippie]

With the amount of money that the OP has talked about spending on fertility treatments, it leads me to believe that they would be able to afford to travel with children

My parents were middle class, yet we went on trips all the time. They're deep in debt now because of it (plus other really bad life choices), but they were able to maintain it for about a decade before they started relying on credit cards instead of saving up

& it's not like it was all cheap road-trip vacations. I went to Nicaragua, Jamaica, a lot of the US (we live in Canada), & Europe a couple times.

[m0rbidm00n]

First: the brand new profile created today and this posting are just setting off my troll red flags. My apologies if this is totally off base

[introvertjmm]

You're totally right about the affirmation and I know it. Doesn't make it any easier though

[introvertjmm]

I'm with you. I can see enormous sacrifices that will have to be made. I quit my horrible, soul-sucking job in October and although we've been able to manage without the income, it's partly been because we've pulled back considerably on expenses. I would like to go back to work, but I'm taking time to figure out what I really want to do. I don't really want to start a job and immediately announce that I'm pregnant, nor do I want to take a job I'm lukewarm about simply because we need the money for a baby. I never would have been able to quit my job if we had a kid right now, and that realization has made freedom all the more sweet for me. My coworkers were incredibly jealous that I could leave, and most expressed that they would do the same, BUT FOR college tuition, summer camp, etc

[introvertjmm]

And I promise, I am not a troll.

[m0rbidm00n]

;) Well good luck! It's a hard situation to be in, but you'll figure it out eventually.

[inourtalons]

I'll just say that I've never /ever/ seen a situation end up well where a childfree person gives into their partner's desire for a child and has a baby. In pretty much every instance I've seen this happen, not only is the childfree person unhappy with their life for pretty much forever, but usually the strain it puts on the relationship drives the two apart, leaving the kid in the middle of a separation

[introvertjmm]

For a while, I've wondered whether I'm just focusing on all the negatives of having a child, while discounting all those "Hallmark moments" that are supposed to be worth it. I've wondered if maybe my anxieties would fade once it's here and I'm enjoying all those "firsts." I had a wonderful childhood and when I think of replicating that for a kid, it puts a smile on my face. Then comes the flood of thought about money, time, childcare, etc. and the smile goes away.

These responses have made one thing very clear to me: I am really overthinking this.If I wanted a kid, I wouldn't even be questioning it. I would be wanting to hold all my friends' babies. I would have been dreaming about it years ago and I would be happy and excited about the prospect now. There was a time when I didn't have all this anxiety, but now that it's here, I need to listen to my gut

[muizenstaartje]

Having a child is a lot easier when you think it will be wonderful and rainbows filled with kittens. It's hard and if you can't recharge by looking at your baby sleeping for 30-40 minutes and be all "Awww, look at that widdle wonder!" the rest of the 6 to 42 months (rough estimation) of sleepless hell are going to break you.

Overthinking might be a sign babies are just not your thing. That's okay.