SO over this...

[introvertjmm]

I've never been the kind to coo over babies, I rarely played with baby dolls as a kid, I never babysat as a teenager, kids on an airplane make me almost homicidal and I think pregnancy and childbirth are two of the most disgusting things imaginable. I also generally like animals more than kids. On the flip side, I always thought it would be fun to

Comments

[introvertjmm]

For a while, I've wondered whether I'm just focusing on all the negatives of having a child, while discounting all those "Hallmark moments" that are supposed to be worth it. I've wondered if maybe my anxieties would fade once it's here and I'm enjoying all those "firsts." I had a wonderful childhood and when I think of replicating that for a kid, it puts a smile on my face. Then comes the flood of thought about money, time, childcare, etc. and the smile goes away.

These responses have made one thing very clear to me: I am really overthinking this.

If I wanted a kid, I wouldn't even be questioning it. I would be wanting to hold all my friends' babies. I would have been dreaming about it years ago and I would be happy and excited about the prospect now. There was a time when I didn't have all this anxiety, but now that it's here, I need to listen to my gut.

As for hubby throwing up his hands, I fear I've painted a negative picture of a truly wonderful guy. Those are moments when he's frustrated because he thinks I'm being too negative. But this is the same guy who was willing to get out of bed a few minutes early, make me coffee in bed and go out to my car in 30-degree weather just to heat my seats for me when I was working and later cheered my decision to quit a VERY well-paying job which cut our income in half and left him as our sole support. My family didn't like our marriage at first because we are interracial. It's been five years, and they love him now because they see how he treats me.....just to throw in a little, more balanced perspective.

[muizenstaartje]

Having a child is a lot easier when you think it will be wonderful and rainbows filled with kittens. It's hard and if you can't recharge by looking at your baby sleeping for 30-40 minutes and be all "Awww, look at that widdle wonder!" the rest of the 6 to 42 months (rough estimation) of sleepless hell are going to break you.

Overthinking might be a sign babies are just not your thing. That's okay.