I have a son. Sometimes I can't believe it. I'll look at him in wonder and disbelief that this little person came from me, that he is mine. Someone pinch me.

My birth story is anything but graceful and far from what I had planned. We were at Justin's Mom's house for dinner on Saturday 11/27 when mild contractions started. We went home and collected ( Read more... )

We are having a boy. Every sonogram and test has had great results. He kicks and punches me daily. Justin has been able to catch his kicking a few times too.  I actually started feeling him at 16 weeks, which is early for a "first" pregnancy. The only issue is my iron is low, which is very common. I'll need to take a supplement and eat more meat. ( Read more... )

I'm 12 weeks and 2 days pregnant. There, I wrote it. I have been avoiding talking and writing about it because I didn't want to jinx it... but after having 3 successful sonograms and a normal looking baby and heart beat, (YES! THERE IS A STRONG HEART BEAT!) it is "safe" to announce. It was not an easy start.

At 6 weeks, I was spotting. Went to the ( Read more... )

Uncle Bob died. That's 3 aunts/uncles gone in the last 9 months. He was a good, honest man. Our next family gathering, with extended family, will certainly be painful.

We went to Disneyworld during a pandemic. No one told us we were crazy, but they were all thinking it. And you know what? I'd do it allllllll again.It was wonderful.

We met with a ( Read more... )

Last week I had severe anxiety. I've never been like that before. Heart palpitations, fear surging throughout my chest as I drove, unable to sleep at night, etc. I didn't know what it was and then it clicked. It was subconscious, but I was totally freaking out about my OBGYN appointment. Everything checked out ok, like it always does. Healthy ( Read more... )

We had a second miscarriage on Christmas day. I guess the one good thing about Covid is I was home and not with a bunch of family at a relative's house when it started. Natalie had already left, presents were over and we were settling down from the hustle and bustle. Could you imagine if I was anywhere but home?

We sat on the couch together while ( Read more... )

Aunt Helen died 9/13/2020. Nothing is sadder than attending a Covid-19 funeral. She did not die from Covid-19, but social distancing and masks needed to be worn. I could not hug my cousins, aunts or uncles. It hit me hard. I cried a lot. My poor mother...

In the same week, we missed my LH surge because my body apparently has a quick surge, merely a ( Read more... )

Getting your period after trying to have a baby and then needing to tell your partner you are not pregnant, again... is like failing a test you studied your ass off for and then telling mom and dad you failed... again.

Times that by 10.

And then the one time you got a 100 and found out it didn't count towards your grade. (That's the miscarriage.)

( Read more... )

When I am home alone and on Social Media, my mind wanders and I always end up watching baby announcement videos, at home births, pandemic laboring, etc. It always leaves me in tears and I do the math to see how far along I would have been. I cry. A lot. Today, I would have been about 20 weeks. Halfway there. (Nowhere.)

It's weird. I will be fine ( Read more... )

This is the year people will talk about for a while. It has its ups and downs. In summary, 2020 is the year of the Covid-19 (Corona) Pandemic. March 13, 2020 I left work and have not been back since. At first it was a bit exciting, thinking we had two weeks off for nothing and that we were in this part of history. It isn't nothing for some people. ( Read more... )