Ah, Mother's Day

[carnivalnights]

Despite the fact that they are my family, I have a hard time understanding why they just expect me to be there on Mother's Day. I have respect for the mothers in our family (there are only three, and one lives in Germany), but I have respect for my own too. If Mother's Day is about honouring your mother, the place I should be during this day is at

Comments

[fragilemuse]

i often wonder why people bother so much with 'family' when all they seem to do is cause one another pain and grief. if anyone else in our lives behaved that way on such a regular basis we'd cut them out entirely but for some reason that word 'family' seems to allow people to justify that kind of behaviour. :( my family is the same way..

i had no idea you lost your mother at such a young age. i hope your new ritual will help bring her closer to you.. i am sure she watches over you every day. :)

*big hugs*

[carnivalnights]

That is pretty much the same way I feel these days. My family never really used to be a mess, but over the past ten years we have fallen apart. The only person who has never caused me any pain is my grandmother. But as you said, the rest of them just cause pain and grief to each other, including me, on a regular basis. The "family" label prevents us from doing anything about it, really. I've managed to speak up a few times though, but I don't know, it seemed to make things worse.

Thank you for your kind words. I am hoping this new ritual will help me feel better not only on Mother's Day but about her death in general. ♥

[zahrimsthoughts]

*huggles* love you hun ~x~

[carnivalnights]

Thank you, hun. <3

[ghostmeat]

oh, skyler

[carnivalnights]

My family has always either underestimated the issue out just outright ignored it. My dad especially. He has always been completely insensitive about it, even right in front of other people (like the family counselor we saw--he said I should be over it in front of her too). On this issue I felt I needed to stand my ground though. I said I respect the other mothers in my family and those who helped raised me, but it's time I have a ritual of my own and give my mother the acknowledgement she deserves.

I am sorry you can relate to this. Your family sounds a lot like mine in this circumstance. I, too, feel like it's being rubbed in my face. I agree that going to "celebrate" without your own parent there to celebrate with it rather pointless and really, it just makes you feel worse. I am glad you have developed new and private ways to spend Father's Day. That is very good to hear.

just because people don't personally understand one's afflictions, does not mean that they cannot [and should not] strive to put themselves in another's shoes

[carnivalnights]

Aw, thanks, hun. That's very sweet of you to say.

And yes, it is rather unbelievable. You would think family members, of all people, would be understanding and considerate. But I don't know, my family has always underestimated or simply ignored the issue. It's quite sad.

*hugs*

[digital_eye]

I'm really sorry to hear how painful it is for you. I think you should definately do what you feel you need to, rather than be around other family members who don't understand and make you feel worse. Put yourself and your feelings first. I hope you'll be ok. xxx

[carnivalnights]

*nod* Yes, thank you, I agree fully.
Thank you for your kind words. *hugs*