Ah, Mother's Day

[carnivalnights]

Despite the fact that they are my family, I have a hard time understanding why they just expect me to be there on Mother's Day. I have respect for the mothers in our family (there are only three, and one lives in Germany), but I have respect for my own too. If Mother's Day is about honouring your mother, the place I should be during this day is at

Comments

[perfecthorror]

My grandmother died two years ago and my mom always gets emotional on Mother's Day. And I always feel bad, and kind of sad because I sometimes wonder how I would feel if I lost my mom. But at the same time, I don't know what to say, so I usually end up saying nothing.
I agree with the person above, and that you should definately do whatever you feel is right for you. And what will make you feel better. No matter what anyone says.
I hope you feel better. ♥

[carnivalnights]

I think it's always awkward for both people. I usually don't come right out and tell people my mother died for fear of making them uncomfortable. And when it does come out, I always feel bad because I don't want to make the other person bad or make them think I expect anything from them, whether it be comfort, pity, etc. I don't expect those things from people when I talk about my mother, so I always feel bad. Your mother, I am sure, knows you sympathize and want to comfort her. Sometimes silence really does speak volumes. Or even just a hug.

Thank you for being supportive. I feel good about my choice and I hope it makes Mother's Day a tad easier for me from now on, knowing I am at least acknowledging her and showing her I still think about her every day. ♥

[blob]

Just to let you know that I read this and am thinking of you. I don't know when Mother's Day is in Canada (ours was a few months ago) but I hope you manage to get through it okay. As far as you're concerned, Mother's Day is about *your mother* and nobody else, so I hope that you manage to spend some alone time, just you and her.

xxx

[carnivalnights]

Ours is May 14th. (That's so strange yours is at such a different time. Usually the time between holidays around the world is a month at most. Odd!)

Thank you for your kind words and understanding. That is definitely the way I feel, even if my family still does not get that after all these years.

*hugs*

[carnivalnights]

We definitely share a lot of friends, so I had no problem adding you. You are among good people and therefore must good people. ;)

I am sorry you can relate. :\ I definitely agree with what you have said. When I was younger and unable to go to her grave alone, I was only ever taken on Mother's Day (and not even by my father but my mother's sister when she used to live here in Canada). There should never be a designated "day" for anything, really. But of course, holidays simply exist for capitalist/commercial reasons. That's why I usually ignore the majority of them.

I think if you're comfortable sharing grief with other people, great. But it should be accepted that most people feel it is a private thing. I am much more comfortable going to her grave alone. You'd think family members, of all people, would understand these issues.

[littlemisstexas]

I know this isn't going to help at all, but I'm so very, very sorry for how the people in your family act about Mother's Day, I just can't believe it. I had to read that 3 times before it registered....

But absolutely. Like other people here have said, this day is about you and your mother and you have more than every right to honor your mother the way that you want to. You shouldn't be expected to do anything else and have to explain it (and certainly not get any flack over it)and if they can't accept that or understand why, that's their problem. I do hope that's brings you more comfort, and I'm sure that wherever she is, she couldn't be prouder to have you as her daughter. *huge, huge hugs*

Love,
Jennifer

[carnivalnights]

Thank you for your support. I have a hard time understanding how it could be a problem for anyone. My dad, of course, said I should be going to the dinner as well. And I just looked at him and said, "Your mother is not my mother. I am going to be with MY mother on Mother's Day." *shakes head* He didn't even ask how it went when he got back... I don't know, if I were a widow and had a child from that marriage, I'd probably want to go with that child to his/her parent's grave. But whatever.

Thank you so much for saying all that you have here. You are too kind. ♥

[vonilicious]

Don't you hate when you try to pour everything out and it doesn't help. It's supposed to isn't it...I support you in your decision I feel like you couldn't have made a more mature choice and maybe this will be good for you.

[carnivalnights]

Very much so. Writing is very therapeutic for me, but sometimes it seems fruitless trying to make myself feel better. Sometimes words just aren't enough.

Thank you for your support. ♥