As much as I enjoy being single - and I really have learned to - the only time I start to get depressed about it is when I think it could be forever. And when I say that, I actually believe it. I actually believe my last relationship could be the end of my dating cycle. I remember telling this to my most recent ex, and he thought I was just being ( Read more... )

I don't know how many times we can say, "I don't know how much longer I can do this." Saying it out loud does not make the train coming toward you go any slower. But do we just keep saying we can't do it and keep going forever? When is enough enough? When do you get to that point when you can, literally, no longer do it ( Read more... )

Why doesn't anxiety have an off switch ( Read more... )

I know this is going to make me sound like a whiny brat but I feel like there are only three modes to my life: shit, double shit and triple shit. Shit is just the regular day-to-day way that I feel and how things go. I am rarely ever happy, and I rarely ever feel peaceful or content. The good times in my life are so rare and so short that they have ( Read more... )

It's such a strange feeling when everything aches... my body, my heart, even my brain. When you suffer from depression and anxiety, there is just this constant sickly feeling. This underlying panic. What I panic about changes from day to day, sometimes from hour to hour, but I always know it's the depression/anxiety. I never confuse it with other ( Read more... )

Because I don't believe in god necessarily (at best I would say I am agnostic) but sometimes think the universe somehow plays a role in what happens to us, somehow, sometimes I actually stop stressing for a moment thinking there's no way the universe would let any more bad happen to me. I think someone or something must know when enough is enough, ( Read more... )

It's been another bad day and for the first time in years, I am having the urge to write again and just get my feelings down... even if no one is listening ( Read more... )

For the last two years, I have been single for the first time in twelve years and, for the most part, enjoying it. I was devastated after my break-up and went into a deep depression. But after living on my own for the first time I have found there are a lot of upsides to being alone and having space to myself, especially since the break-up forced ( Read more... )

I thought today was an important entry day because it is, hopefully, the start of a new journey for me. If all goes well, the journal will last beyond this month.

Yesterday, I started a 28-day teatox (Your Tea). I have never done a detox of any kind before, let alone a teatox. I had been scouring the Internet for a few months trying to find the ( Read more... )

Sometimes I still feel so invisible. And it almost feels like the only purpose I serve when I am visible is as someone's punching bag. It seems like a harsh analogy, but it almost feels like I don't know how to swim and I'm flailing around in the water, trying to come up for air. I finally surface but someone is standing over me, trying to push my ( Read more... )