Ah, Mother's Day

[carnivalnights]

Despite the fact that they are my family, I have a hard time understanding why they just expect me to be there on Mother's Day. I have respect for the mothers in our family (there are only three, and one lives in Germany), but I have respect for my own too. If Mother's Day is about honouring your mother, the place I should be during this day is at

Comments

[ghostmeat]

oh, skyler.

you know, i very much agree with where you stand on this issue. mother's day, is after all, about mothers... your mother. it is a day you should spend connecting with her in any way that feels right to you.

it's unfortunate that your family cannot understand your need for this - even more unfortunate that they cannot support your decision, but this is not about them... it is about you and your mom.
i am proud of you for standing your ground. your infinite strength, perhaps it is something your mother left for you, dear.

i know my own situation differs greatly but i can relate to the family garbage attached to a missing loved one. when i was younger, and completely severed from my pops for years, i would be invited to family gatherings on father's days - which to me, was not helpful to my situation at all. in fact, the years i would attend, i only felt like it was being rubbed in my face that i didn't have a father. everyone would be celebrating the idea that they had these wonderful dad's right in front of my sister and i - oblivious to the pain we felt... not even knowing where the fuck our dad was, if he was even alive. why would people want to remind us of this on father's day of all days?
finally we stopped going - and we developed new ways, private ways of spending father's days.
of course, life is different now, and i actually have a relationship with my dad - but in all the years i didn't, my family was forever telling me to just deal with the fact that he wasn't around.
just because people don't personally understand one's afflictions, does not mean that they cannot [and should not] strive to put themselves in another's shoes and try to understand. family, especially.

i do hope that this new tradition will assist you in developing a relationship of sorts with your mom. a relationship that your dad, and other family members have previously stood in the way of.

find peace...
you're in my thoughts.

i love you.

[carnivalnights]

My family has always either underestimated the issue out just outright ignored it. My dad especially. He has always been completely insensitive about it, even right in front of other people (like the family counselor we saw--he said I should be over it in front of her too). On this issue I felt I needed to stand my ground though. I said I respect the other mothers in my family and those who helped raised me, but it's time I have a ritual of my own and give my mother the acknowledgement she deserves.

I am sorry you can relate to this. Your family sounds a lot like mine in this circumstance. I, too, feel like it's being rubbed in my face. I agree that going to "celebrate" without your own parent there to celebrate with it rather pointless and really, it just makes you feel worse. I am glad you have developed new and private ways to spend Father's Day. That is very good to hear.

just because people don't personally understand one's afflictions, does not mean that they cannot [and should not] strive to put themselves in another's shoes and try to understand. family, especially. Very, very true.

I hope this new tradition works out for me too. Time will tell. Thank you for all of your support, as always, and sharing with me your ability to relate. Love you tons. ♥