Ever since I moved to the new office and job a year ago, Cap - the half-lovable, half-frightening 800 year old courier guy who haunts our offices in search of someone to have barely coherent conversations with - has shied away from bugging me overmuch. Not because I'm twelve times busier, because he has absolutely no capacity to pick up on the ( Read more... )

I was going to post about a near fistfight I got into with a stripper (!) as the Most Embarrassing Thing that's happened to me this week. But I'm too pissed off to be especially amusing, and it was highly amusing so I will save it. Instead, here is my nugget of Daily Humiliation ( Read more... )

So, I lied. My least favorite travel ritual is not actually the Repacking of the Suitcase. That is my second to least hated duty ( Read more... )

... I stayed home sick from work. But ever since I, suddenly and without warning, pulled a Human-Projectile-Puke-Missile on myself on the olde job yesterday, I'm inexplicably not feeling so hot ( Read more... )

For the love of the pink unicorn, do people remember how to read newspapers ( Read more... )

Marketing is not a science. Despite all the helmet-haired four-year-degreed guys in assey Hugo Boss ties who would say otherwise, advertising is an imprecise art, subject to a whole conveyor belt of little fingers touching the product, lending expertise (ideally) along the way, before it reaches its target: your credit card ( Read more... )

Okay, so I'm just now finishing up my second day here at the new job, and good goddamn but I've been bizzy bizzy bizzy. I haven't even had time to check my email since Friday! This is noteworthy because! Anyway, if I'm missing out on some kind of fantastic ElJay party for which I was too preoccupied to RSVP, I do apologize. What's new with y'

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I haven't had a day start off this manic in a while. Eesh. Between the three cups of incredibly terrible coffee I've sucked down this morning to wrangling with the insurance bitches about getting the Hub's car fixed after the cokehead slammed into it (--how can you have the words "customer service" anywhere on your business card if you routinely ( Read more... )

... to make this invitation to y'all writers out there: the newspaper where I work is desperately recruiting reporters from all over the damn place to relocate to Florida and write for one of its several pubs. So desperate, in fact, that they're throwing in a bonus for any employee who can land them a decent one (but my motives aren't selfish or ( Read more... )