And it's pineapple, motherfucker!

I'm gonna be sooo famous in a little bit! Wait'll you see how good the movie is!

I was kind of high when I wrote some of it, but it's still funny!

Now GET THE FUCK OUT OF DODGE!!!

ps...you should all come to see my new hit play, "The Good Life and Times of Jesus Christ's Silly Penis"

seriously...

we've gotta do something about this michael moore fellow and his vile, blatant lies about america.

...no, really.

This one's for Mr. Nathan Jokela ( Read more... )

THE SPIRIT OF MAN cannot endure when faced with the nasty prospect of decay. What hath God wrought? I'll tell ye verily what he hath wrought. Bad things. Things that neither you nor I enjoy, and which cling to the soles of our shoes. And yet God persists in filling our world with dirt and disease and food that doesn't taste that good. Stop it, God ( Read more... )

Ha-Ha! This is not Brandon writing this entry! It's his evil twin, Evil Brandon! Thought you could escape me did you, Regular-Brandon? Well, I've got news for you! And here is the news ( Read more... )

Oh sha-nay-nay. I was gonna updatie my journalie. But I don't wanna. Maybe later you nincompoop.

Oh my goodness! I did not update my livejournal in twelve years! How can I ever forgive myself? I'll you how, poop-butt, I bought myself a new dinner from Chili's. It was the brand new, Mushroom-Swiss burger and it was cooked, oh-so-rare. I ate it up. SLURPIE! SLURPIE! SLURPIE! Yay! I did it ( Read more... )

Now I know that you're not the type of girl ( Read more... )

Hee-ho you poop eyes! Do you want to see a movie with me? Or how about a cartoon? Or a television program? Okay, fine. But sometime soon, all of us will join together and cry at "I Love Lucy". It always makes me cry.

And eat bananas.

Do you like bananas?

Hey, speaking of bananas, did you guys ever read Voltaire's Candide? If Candide ( Read more... )

Hello kiddies! It is me, Brandon the Windish! And today, I will tell you a story. Is it a scary story? I do not think so. Is it a funny story? I don't know you BIG DEEKIE, is it? Why don't you quit asking all of the questions and do some requading instead ( Read more... )