is solitude indeed the cure for loneliness?

summer is weird. i feel llike i need to have some sort of epic self-discovery experience. and also stop writing lj entries and then deleting them ( Read more... )

driving home tonight i had this very distinct feeling, the same one i had last year alone after my last production night, when the sky was cornflower blue and the end was, for a moment, in sight. none of this seemed real until my first last steve barrows hug, but now i'm realizing that, yeah, i'm leaving. and it's awesome, but it's scarier for me ( Read more... )

i don't like people today. i don't know WHAT it is, i'm trying so hard not to be a snob but i have become more and more aware of the fact that i find it extremely difficult to connect with almost everyone my own age because no one's interested in just talking about stuff, leading any sort of vaguely conscious existence. between therapy and just ( Read more... )

going CRAZY ( Read more... )

was anybody sick last night? like, extremely intense puking until there were no stomach juices/food bits/other fluids left in your system to puke, and then turning instead to dry heaving at least every hour or so until 8 am ( Read more... )

march! sunshine!! bras coming in mail!!! three more days of no school!!!!
....optimism? optimism!!!!!!

it's weird how having the pressure off has at least somewhat improved my ability to actually do shit with myself. i think i'm actually really invested in this whole rediscovering the spirtual/creative/poetic side of life thing. i lost my ability to be an artist of any kind for a while there. like, i don't know, i stopped seeing the world in a way ( Read more... )

i look forward to, at some point, living in one of those homes that's just sort of brimming with love and contentment and joy. i hate how cavernous my own home feels on days like this, my mom gone the one chance i thought i'd have to see her, no valentines on the table this morning, conversation limited to a request to clean.
it's not really about ( Read more... )

to be totally honest here, i still cannot wrap my head around the fact that i'm going to vassar (vassar? vassar. VASSAR motherfucking VASSAR) and feel as if something's going to come up in the next  few months to just take it away from me. god i don't know what i thought was going to happen after high school, but it feels as if i've only just ( Read more... )