He knows the meaning of success. His needs are more, so he gives less.

[billyduran]

So, what does it mean to be a man? The question really has come up a lot in my head since I turned thirty. Whether it just be the natural course of a mind at this age or the societal expectations around me, I cannot help but keep falling back to the matter and wondering if I measure up to the ideal in any form. Thoughts on the subject were only

Comments

[umokay]

I don't know how it happens but for the past couple years every time I get something stuck in my mind for a weekend that I want to post about that seems really important to me I go on LJ and find you have just plopped down a post with the exact same sentiments and words.

No, seriously. And I'm not even going to bring up the fact that I changed my LJ name to lyrics from Thunderball just yesterday because I couldn't get the song out of my head. I'm not sure what sort of cosmic tangent you and I seem to be on but it's just plain wacky that it keeps happening.

Sorry, just had to point that out.

[billyduran]

Ok, that Thunderball thing is a little weird. But, then again with all the Bond hype it's not unheard of that some people might be on a Bond kick. If you want to try and find a way out of the oddity of it with rational explanation. And I'd dare say the lyrics with the combination of Tom Jones make it the most masculine song in the James Bond series. Wouldn't you agree?

I did feel an urge to grow a beard right around the time you had one too. Though you may have subconsciously put the bug in my head for that one. I dunno... maybe you're a big fairy! LOL! I KID I KID!

Great minds think alike. We are in the presence of each other's genius.

[umokay]

Nice recovery with calling us both geniuses after hinting at me being a poof. Ok, not hinting. Flat out saying it. Do gay guys have a thing for beards? One of the things I had in my mind the whole time while having my beard was "There is no man that's gonna find me attractive with this." for some reason. And if you think that was why I grew it let me just point out I've shaved it since last week.

You're dead on about the Tom Jones thing but I'm just saying that beyond that there's been scary coincidences happening with your journal and what I go to post. Get past getting obessed with this movie and that, like seem to do right in time with you, there have been at least a dozen posts this year of yours that I've tought about copying verbatum just because it echoes my thoughts completely and I'm lazy like that.

But you won't need to read between the lines....

[billyduran]

Everyone's got a little gay in them! LOL!!!

I am so fucking with you to rattle your cage. Of course, I didn't know straight guys spent time wondering if gay guys were attracted to them. I found that no one was really interested with me in a beard except women. Though I did receive a few compliments on it I was not beating them off (figuratively) like I was Friday night clean shaven.

Maybe you should post first and read your friends page second. Then the world can see that I am not the only mentally deranged one out there! Now take your medication! Does having these frightening commonalities (is that a word??) make you question your masculinity?

What about having a kid? Did that help you feel like a man? Do you think Russell Crowe is a man's man?

[constituent]

Procreation is genetically outlined in every species on the planet for its survival. Even if it's not acted upon, it still is present. Humans aren't an exception to the rule because one can vocally proclaim their sexuality. Just because monkeys, penguins, dogs, dolphins, and all other male animals that exhibit homosexual tendencies aren't able to hold their own little Gay Animal Parade, it doesn't demeann their masculinity.

...unless you're a squirrel, as they're the gayest rats on the planet.

The male of species do have biological clocks of sorts. However, it's wound up so tight that they cannot tell left or right.

If you have to define yourself by using others as a barometer, you and everybody else is going to fail.

[billyduran]

If only we could all be sterling examples of unwavering individuality like you! LOL!

And don't diss the squirrels. Wait... can real men love squirrels?? I've failed again!

[boredevilperson]

Flying squirrels remind me of peter pan

[billyduran]

Annette Funicello reminds me of Peter Pan too.

[cheerfulchaotic]

Masculinity is a social construct. And it varies from culture to culter, and from sub-culture to sub-culture. If masculinity is so important to you, pick a definition, construct one, (or figure out your own underlying concept) and tweak it as you see appropriate. Or just stick with it.

[billyduran]

I guess I am seeking something deeper than simply what a culture tells me a man is. At least, what modern culture defines it as. Possibly something engrained into the very genetic code of the male. The drives and impulses of all men from all cultures throughout all time.

[cheerfulchaotic]

Well, if you're looking for testosterone's effects, those are pretty well known. But I don't necessarily think they're all admirable or desirable goals.

Nature is remarkable specific about some things (anatomy of a penis) and vague about others (how men will act). Be confident in your own maleness. Define your own masculinity. Redefine it as necessary. Perhaps the key feature of masculinity is not perseverating over what is and is not masculine.

[billyduran]

You seem to want to simplify things and somehow produce an answer for me. The kind of answers I seek are the ones that have driven humans since the beginning of time. Something vastly universal and possibly somewhat divine. Wanting to know our purpose and function. To know "why".

You can keep coming back with what you think sounds good, but unless you're a god I don't think it'll hit the mark on what I was getting at when I wrote this.