Bones Fanfic: Stuck In A Moment (13/27)
Title: Stuck In A Moment
Author: biba79
Disclaimer: Characters aren’t mine, they belong to Hart Hanson.
Pairings/Characters: Booth/Brennan
Rating: T
Summary: An event tests Booth and Brennan's relationship. Booth kept telling himself that it would take time, and he needed to be patient. Will they be able to get through it? Future Fic! B/B!
Word Count: 3,224
Spoiler: None
Preview Chapters: One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six - Seven - Eight - Nine - Ten - Eleven - Twelve
A/N: Song “Learning to Breathe” by Switchfoot
Hello, good morning, how you do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is the way that I say I need You
This is the way that I'm
Learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Hello, good morning, how you been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never, never thought that
I would fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad
So this is the way that I say I need You
This is the way that I say I love You
This is the way that I say I'm Yours
This is the way, this is the way
Chapter 13
Booth leaned against the classroom doorway and was relieved to see that she was still there. Luckily, the haunting piano music he heard as he walked down the hallway had led him to the right door. He stood there listening for a moment, but she didn’t notice him because she was lost in her music. Her eyes were closed as she played the piece by heart.
He smiled as he realized she was quite good, a natural musician. He waited until the end, not wanting to disturb her private moment. The song was sad, and as he listened to it, he realized this was the way she expressed her sorrow. He closed his eyes knowing that now was probably not a good time. He felt self-conscious intruding on her privacy. He nearly decided to make a quick exit, but something had brought him this far, and the same thing kept him from leaving. He had to help Brennan before she retreated into herself forever.
The music swelled to its soulful ending, and she looked up, feeling his eyes on her. She blushed a little because she hadn’t realized she had an audience. It was not often that she played for anyone but her students.
“Mr. Booth.” She wondered what had finally brought him here, but she was glad he came. She could see his hesitation and the tortured confusion in his eyes. She knew those feelings well. It was only recently, after so many years, that she had come to terms with her loss. She got up off the piano bench and walked over to him and extended her hand to him.
He took it gratefully.
“I’m sorry, I should have called, but I lost the card… I only came because…” Booth felt like a child, stammering and shy.
“It’s fine. Have a seat, please?” She indicated one of the miniature flip top desks, smiling inwardly as she pictured him trying to manipulate his tall body to fit. She decided he was suffering enough. “On second thought… looks like everyone has gone home… how about a walk?”
Booth nodded gratefully, knowing the chances of him not ending up on the floor while trying to sit in the miniature desk were nil. Emma went to the fridge in the corner, extracted two juice boxes and tossed one to Booth, who caught it instinctively. He glanced first at the funny carton, then at the teacher.
“I have to bribe my students every once in a while,” she explained.
“Hmm… Thanks, but I’m not thirsty.” He offered the strange contraption with the straw clinging to it back to her.
“Oh no… I’m not drinking alone.” She teased him, trying to get him to relax a little. She could see the tension in his posture and the set of his jaw. She now suspected the reason he was here had something to do with Cooper’s unexpected withdrawal from school. She had heard rumors and wondered if they could be true. She preferred not to engage in idle gossip.
Booth shrugged, holding the drink cautiously, wondering what in the hell he should do with it. He followed her out of the stuffy room into the courtyard, then onto the playground. She sat on the edge of a swing and opened her carton by puncturing it with the straw. Booth tried to do the same out of politeness, but only succeeded in bending and twisting and nearly mutilating the poor straw. Emma’s tinkling laughter reminded him of Brennan’s. How he missed listening to her laugh. He smiled sheepishly as he took her offer to give the damn thing to her. She gave him hers for the moment as she expertly inserted the straw and returned it to him.
He took a tentative sip, not realizing squeezing said carton was a big no-no. The juice squirted up and hit him in the cheek; he stepped back not expecting the liquid attack. The laughter that greeted his latest klutzy display was contagious, and he found himself joining her. He was actually starting to feel better, and they hadn’t even spoken yet. Then he remembered that he had no business laughing. He sat the juice on the bench.
“The first rule of drinking from cardboard with a straw is absolutely no squeezing.” She grinned charmingly.
“Yeah, I kind of figured that out.” He smiled in spite of himself, swiping the pinkish drops from his cheek. The smile faded quickly, as if it was a mistake to have allowed it in the first place.
“Mr. Booth, there is no crime in laughing. I know I used to feel guilty if I so much as cracked a smile, but it’s okay to feel happy when you can; the ones you’ve lost would never want to see you unhappy. Your daughter loved your laughter and your smiles, so you have to give her peace; let her know you are okay. I’m sure she loved you very much.”
“How do you know that?” Booth asked, his eyes registering the deep wounds of his heart.
“Because I had a Dad I loved dearly and all little girls loved their Daddies like no one else.” Emma’s eyes saw a lot more than he realized he was showing.
“I loved her too, like no one else.” He bowed his head as he struggled to hold back the threatening tears.
“I have no doubt of that, Mr. Booth.” Emma wanted to cry for him.
Hearing that his baby girl loved him uniquely touched him, because he knew it was true. He felt her sometimes, like she was looking out for him... like she was sad because he was sad. She was such a sensitive little thing. He had no doubt she knew exactly what was going on now, and his heart ached when he thought of how sad she would be to see her beloved parents and brothers so lost without her.
“Seeley, you should call me Seeley.”
“Okay, Seeley. Then please call me Emma.” He smiled a tiny tentative smile, feeling a little more on equal terms. Booth’s eyes perused the playground, and he recalled his son’s happy laughter on parents’ night. While he had enjoyed seeing Cooper so full of life, Brennan seemed to want to smother him with over-protective admonishments. Booth had never seen her so stern with him... but he could guess where it was coming from.
Emma watched him as he gathered his thoughts. “Seeley, I know you feel like you don’t have the right to be whole anymore, but you do; trust me, you do.”
“I don’t even know why I came… I mean you probably just offered because…”
“I offered because I see the sorrow in your eyes, and I know what helped me was talking to someone who understood. I hoped that you or Temperance would take me up on the offer. I promise this isn’t an intrusion. I’m glad you came.” Emma smiled honestly.
“Thank you. I’m not here for me… I mean…. I am, but…”
“You are worried about your wife?” Emma knew now that the rumors were probably true. She hated to believe they could be true, but his face was pretty much an open book. He looked totally exhausted and disheartened.
“Yeah.” His voice broke. He couldn’t believe he was sitting here crying so easily. He didn’t know Emma, and she didn’t know him. How was it that he felt secure in revealing so much so soon?
“I didn’t tell you everything about me the other night, Seeley. That accident took my husband too.” Her eyes misted a little. “He was driving when an intoxicated driver hit them, they were all killed.” The initial shock was gone, but the after-shocks would never end.
“I’m…” Booth stopped short. There should be better words. There were never the right words.
“It was excruciating. I felt like my life was over. Even though I had another child…. It didn’t matter.” Her eyes filled with tears as she recalled the most awful moments of her life.
“Of course not.” Booth agreed.
“I love Nick with all my heart and for a while the only thing that kept me alive was him. I would have… at times I even considered that he might be better off without me. That’s how depressed I was at the time. I really just wanted to die.” Emma had seen Brennan’s face, and she had recognized those expressions in her own mirror not so long ago. Hardened. Pinched. Blank. Agonized. Lost. She could see why Booth would be concerned. He had every right to be. “I wanted to be with them. Even more than I wanted to be here.”
“You did?” Booth was surprised. She didn’t strike him as ever being lost. How had she made it back from a place that scary?
“Haven’t you?” Emma asked gently.
“No!” He realized that he was telling the truth. As much as he loved his little girl, he could never allow the thought to even pass through his mind. He couldn’t because of Brennan, Parker and Cooper.
“But you think Temperance has?”
“Yes… maybe… Yes.” He couldn’t protect Brennan now. She said she wished she was dead, so she probably thought about it. “Emma, I don’t know what to do. She shut me out, she refuses any suggestions of therapy or counseling, and today I found out she took our son out of school without consulting me.”
“Why do you believe she did that?” Emma asked, hoping he would see it wasn’t out of selfishness. She had wondered when she heard if Booth knew or approved.
“I don’t know. I guess because she wanted him with her, she’s probably afraid…”
“I’m sure she is. I ran away with Nick when it happened. I thought that if I isolated us, or if we lived in our memories and locked ourselves away from the rest of the world, I wouldn’t have to take anyone’s advice. But the world comes with you; you can’t run far enough away, because you can’t be with them anymore, no matter where you go.” Emma sounded like she knew exactly where Brennan’s mind was, but he couldn’t burden her. After all, she had been through a lot and talking about it made it all come back. He wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone.
“I guess you can’t really help me. I mean, you did it all alone. You didn’t have anyone to share your… your husband too.” He stopped, feebly trying to imagine her grief.
“We are not so different Seeley. I lost my husband, yes. But you don’t really have your wife to share this with either. I want to help you if I can, I really do. I can’t stand by and not do something. I want some good to come out of all this.” Her voice faded quietly.
“I can’t even imagine losing Bones that way… but…” Booth swallowed the lump in his throat. She was right; he would be lost without Brennan.
“I know you are probably angry with Temperance for pushing you away.”
“I just wish I could understand why,” Booth concurred.
“But you can’t anymore than I could, and it’s so natural to be angry. I was so livid with Jeff for leaving me and taking our son too. I have never felt such rage in my life.”
“What made you… how did you begin to heal?” Booth couldn’t say ‘how have you gotten over it,’ because he knew no one ever did. He knew the pain changed, but it never went away.
“I had a son to take care of. I had to make decisions, for both of us. I had a cousin who had lost her husband to a heart attack around the same time, so that got us closer. We did a lot of talking. It was a slow process. One day at a time, and sometimes one minute at a time. And here I am. I know my life will never be what it was, but I do believe that I have learned about myself, about my capacity to get through the darkest, most devastating times and make the best out of it.”
Booth listened. She was an amazingly resilient woman.
“My days aren’t perfect, not by a long shot, and there are times when Nick retreats too, because he misses Ben. They were pretty close, but his friends and my family are helpful. Don’t isolate yourself from anyone Seeley; you need people. You can’t get through this alone, no matter how tempting it is. You just can’t, and neither can Temperance. It’s very important to stay in the land of the living. You’re still here.”
“It doesn’t feel…” Booth shook his head.
“No, I know. It feels empty.”
“Yeah.”
“You can’t stay empty, you can’t forget your son needs you to be whole. Temperance needs to be too - otherwise, how will he ever be?”
Booth nodded guiltily. “I’m thinking maybe… I need to take Cooper away from her. Not permanently of course, but for a while, until she’s more stable. I’m worried out of my mind about both of them.”
“You do get to see your son though, right?”
“Yeah, but it’s never enough.” Booth sounded so disheartened.
“No. You can never have enough time with them. Time is so fleeting.”
“I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to hurt her anymore, but I can’t afford to let my son be hurt by her fears either.”
“Seeley, let her do what she has to for a little while. Don’t push too hard. You don’t know how fragile she is inside, and you could really… she might go over the edge. I know you are upset about Cooper not being in school, but you know, Temperance would never willingly hurt him. She would protect him with her last breath. He’s what is keeping her sane now. Believe me; don’t take him away, at least not yet. If anyone had tried to take Nick from me, I would have… I don’t know. Just give it some time, and be patient. Be there for your son. If you can’t be there for her, if she won’t let you, there is not a lot you can do until she is ready to face the loss and to see that it has nothing to do with you. She must know that you are suffering every bit as much as she is, and she needs you to get through it. On some level she must know that, but she isn’t there yet. She isn’t ready yet.”
“I’m not so sure that will ever happen, and how can I let her isolate my son like this?”
“I’m sure it’s temporary. She will see. Right now, she’s living for your son. Seeley, in time she will put him back in school, and she will start to heal.”
“You really believe she will get there by herself?” Booth asked doubtfully. “She had other traumas, but this is the worst one by far. Bones has bounced back before, but I’m not sure if she can again. This one may be the one to break her. She’s strong and very brave, but this was her baby girl… our baby girl.”
“I know.” Emma’s heart broke for them.
“Bones has had more than her share of grief and…” Booth didn’t want to have to go into the gory details.
“I know a little.” Emma’s hands gestured her understanding, and her eyes spared him reliving more anguish. “The city is small when it comes to gossip.”
“Yeah… we’ve made the front page a few too many times.” Booth said sadly.
Emma knew. She’d read all the newspaper accounts and she remembered thinking what a beautiful couple they were when the Gravedigger character came around. Then she read in one of the reports about Brennan being a foster child, and she remembered thinking that other people had just as much anguish. She certainly wasn’t alone. And now this poor man was sitting here dealing with more than one person should ever have to.
“I can’t tell you what to do, and I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but it seems like taking your son away from her would be the worst thing you could do to her right now. What would she have to live for?” Emma asked empathetically.
“Maybe you are right, maybe I’m being rash. I mean he isn’t in school, but that doesn’t mean he can’t have friends. And Bones is brilliant, he surely won’t lack in his education.”
“No, of course not and maybe teaching him will be a good distraction for her. When the time is right, I’m sure he will be back. I was at the staff meeting this morning and a vote was taken. The head administrator will keep Cooper’s place open; we all felt that it was the right thing to do. He won’t be rejected when he wants to come back.”
“That was kind. I will have to thank them later. I’m really grateful to you too - for your time today. I’m sure you need to get home to your son.” Booth wished he could go home to his.
She nodded, blinking back a few tears for him.
“You are a good Dad, I can tell. Just talk to him about it. I’m sure he will tell you how he feels. You two seemed close at parents’ night.”
“Yeah. We are.” Booth’s eyes filled up with tears again, and he didn’t withdraw when Emma covered his hand lightly.
It felt good to talk to someone who understood, and having someone to listen made all the difference.
X-X-X-X-X-X
Brennan was surprised when Booth didn’t overreact to her removing Cooper from school. He called, and his tone was clipped and his conversation short, but he seemed okay with the fact that Cooper was going to be home with her.
That he hadn’t fought her was a relief. She had dreaded the big confrontation with him. Maybe Booth didn’t give a damn really and was just going through the motions. She wondered if he’d called Emma Foster back. She told herself she didn’t give a damn about her. She had way too much to do to worry about Booth and all the legions of woman who would be beating down his door.
A/N: Thanks for reading. So, what did you think of Emma Foster so far?
Author: biba79
Disclaimer: Characters aren’t mine, they belong to Hart Hanson.
Pairings/Characters: Booth/Brennan
Rating: T
Summary: An event tests Booth and Brennan's relationship. Booth kept telling himself that it would take time, and he needed to be patient. Will they be able to get through it? Future Fic! B/B!
Word Count: 3,224
Spoiler: None
Preview Chapters: One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six - Seven - Eight - Nine - Ten - Eleven - Twelve
A/N: Song “Learning to Breathe” by Switchfoot
Hello, good morning, how you do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is the way that I say I need You
This is the way that I'm
Learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Hello, good morning, how you been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never, never thought that
I would fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad
So this is the way that I say I need You
This is the way that I say I love You
This is the way that I say I'm Yours
This is the way, this is the way
Chapter 13
Booth leaned against the classroom doorway and was relieved to see that she was still there. Luckily, the haunting piano music he heard as he walked down the hallway had led him to the right door. He stood there listening for a moment, but she didn’t notice him because she was lost in her music. Her eyes were closed as she played the piece by heart.
He smiled as he realized she was quite good, a natural musician. He waited until the end, not wanting to disturb her private moment. The song was sad, and as he listened to it, he realized this was the way she expressed her sorrow. He closed his eyes knowing that now was probably not a good time. He felt self-conscious intruding on her privacy. He nearly decided to make a quick exit, but something had brought him this far, and the same thing kept him from leaving. He had to help Brennan before she retreated into herself forever.
The music swelled to its soulful ending, and she looked up, feeling his eyes on her. She blushed a little because she hadn’t realized she had an audience. It was not often that she played for anyone but her students.
“Mr. Booth.” She wondered what had finally brought him here, but she was glad he came. She could see his hesitation and the tortured confusion in his eyes. She knew those feelings well. It was only recently, after so many years, that she had come to terms with her loss. She got up off the piano bench and walked over to him and extended her hand to him.
He took it gratefully.
“I’m sorry, I should have called, but I lost the card… I only came because…” Booth felt like a child, stammering and shy.
“It’s fine. Have a seat, please?” She indicated one of the miniature flip top desks, smiling inwardly as she pictured him trying to manipulate his tall body to fit. She decided he was suffering enough. “On second thought… looks like everyone has gone home… how about a walk?”
Booth nodded gratefully, knowing the chances of him not ending up on the floor while trying to sit in the miniature desk were nil. Emma went to the fridge in the corner, extracted two juice boxes and tossed one to Booth, who caught it instinctively. He glanced first at the funny carton, then at the teacher.
“I have to bribe my students every once in a while,” she explained.
“Hmm… Thanks, but I’m not thirsty.” He offered the strange contraption with the straw clinging to it back to her.
“Oh no… I’m not drinking alone.” She teased him, trying to get him to relax a little. She could see the tension in his posture and the set of his jaw. She now suspected the reason he was here had something to do with Cooper’s unexpected withdrawal from school. She had heard rumors and wondered if they could be true. She preferred not to engage in idle gossip.
Booth shrugged, holding the drink cautiously, wondering what in the hell he should do with it. He followed her out of the stuffy room into the courtyard, then onto the playground. She sat on the edge of a swing and opened her carton by puncturing it with the straw. Booth tried to do the same out of politeness, but only succeeded in bending and twisting and nearly mutilating the poor straw. Emma’s tinkling laughter reminded him of Brennan’s. How he missed listening to her laugh. He smiled sheepishly as he took her offer to give the damn thing to her. She gave him hers for the moment as she expertly inserted the straw and returned it to him.
He took a tentative sip, not realizing squeezing said carton was a big no-no. The juice squirted up and hit him in the cheek; he stepped back not expecting the liquid attack. The laughter that greeted his latest klutzy display was contagious, and he found himself joining her. He was actually starting to feel better, and they hadn’t even spoken yet. Then he remembered that he had no business laughing. He sat the juice on the bench.
“The first rule of drinking from cardboard with a straw is absolutely no squeezing.” She grinned charmingly.
“Yeah, I kind of figured that out.” He smiled in spite of himself, swiping the pinkish drops from his cheek. The smile faded quickly, as if it was a mistake to have allowed it in the first place.
“Mr. Booth, there is no crime in laughing. I know I used to feel guilty if I so much as cracked a smile, but it’s okay to feel happy when you can; the ones you’ve lost would never want to see you unhappy. Your daughter loved your laughter and your smiles, so you have to give her peace; let her know you are okay. I’m sure she loved you very much.”
“How do you know that?” Booth asked, his eyes registering the deep wounds of his heart.
“Because I had a Dad I loved dearly and all little girls loved their Daddies like no one else.” Emma’s eyes saw a lot more than he realized he was showing.
“I loved her too, like no one else.” He bowed his head as he struggled to hold back the threatening tears.
“I have no doubt of that, Mr. Booth.” Emma wanted to cry for him.
Hearing that his baby girl loved him uniquely touched him, because he knew it was true. He felt her sometimes, like she was looking out for him... like she was sad because he was sad. She was such a sensitive little thing. He had no doubt she knew exactly what was going on now, and his heart ached when he thought of how sad she would be to see her beloved parents and brothers so lost without her.
“Seeley, you should call me Seeley.”
“Okay, Seeley. Then please call me Emma.” He smiled a tiny tentative smile, feeling a little more on equal terms. Booth’s eyes perused the playground, and he recalled his son’s happy laughter on parents’ night. While he had enjoyed seeing Cooper so full of life, Brennan seemed to want to smother him with over-protective admonishments. Booth had never seen her so stern with him... but he could guess where it was coming from.
Emma watched him as he gathered his thoughts. “Seeley, I know you feel like you don’t have the right to be whole anymore, but you do; trust me, you do.”
“I don’t even know why I came… I mean you probably just offered because…”
“I offered because I see the sorrow in your eyes, and I know what helped me was talking to someone who understood. I hoped that you or Temperance would take me up on the offer. I promise this isn’t an intrusion. I’m glad you came.” Emma smiled honestly.
“Thank you. I’m not here for me… I mean…. I am, but…”
“You are worried about your wife?” Emma knew now that the rumors were probably true. She hated to believe they could be true, but his face was pretty much an open book. He looked totally exhausted and disheartened.
“Yeah.” His voice broke. He couldn’t believe he was sitting here crying so easily. He didn’t know Emma, and she didn’t know him. How was it that he felt secure in revealing so much so soon?
“I didn’t tell you everything about me the other night, Seeley. That accident took my husband too.” Her eyes misted a little. “He was driving when an intoxicated driver hit them, they were all killed.” The initial shock was gone, but the after-shocks would never end.
“I’m…” Booth stopped short. There should be better words. There were never the right words.
“It was excruciating. I felt like my life was over. Even though I had another child…. It didn’t matter.” Her eyes filled with tears as she recalled the most awful moments of her life.
“Of course not.” Booth agreed.
“I love Nick with all my heart and for a while the only thing that kept me alive was him. I would have… at times I even considered that he might be better off without me. That’s how depressed I was at the time. I really just wanted to die.” Emma had seen Brennan’s face, and she had recognized those expressions in her own mirror not so long ago. Hardened. Pinched. Blank. Agonized. Lost. She could see why Booth would be concerned. He had every right to be. “I wanted to be with them. Even more than I wanted to be here.”
“You did?” Booth was surprised. She didn’t strike him as ever being lost. How had she made it back from a place that scary?
“Haven’t you?” Emma asked gently.
“No!” He realized that he was telling the truth. As much as he loved his little girl, he could never allow the thought to even pass through his mind. He couldn’t because of Brennan, Parker and Cooper.
“But you think Temperance has?”
“Yes… maybe… Yes.” He couldn’t protect Brennan now. She said she wished she was dead, so she probably thought about it. “Emma, I don’t know what to do. She shut me out, she refuses any suggestions of therapy or counseling, and today I found out she took our son out of school without consulting me.”
“Why do you believe she did that?” Emma asked, hoping he would see it wasn’t out of selfishness. She had wondered when she heard if Booth knew or approved.
“I don’t know. I guess because she wanted him with her, she’s probably afraid…”
“I’m sure she is. I ran away with Nick when it happened. I thought that if I isolated us, or if we lived in our memories and locked ourselves away from the rest of the world, I wouldn’t have to take anyone’s advice. But the world comes with you; you can’t run far enough away, because you can’t be with them anymore, no matter where you go.” Emma sounded like she knew exactly where Brennan’s mind was, but he couldn’t burden her. After all, she had been through a lot and talking about it made it all come back. He wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone.
“I guess you can’t really help me. I mean, you did it all alone. You didn’t have anyone to share your… your husband too.” He stopped, feebly trying to imagine her grief.
“We are not so different Seeley. I lost my husband, yes. But you don’t really have your wife to share this with either. I want to help you if I can, I really do. I can’t stand by and not do something. I want some good to come out of all this.” Her voice faded quietly.
“I can’t even imagine losing Bones that way… but…” Booth swallowed the lump in his throat. She was right; he would be lost without Brennan.
“I know you are probably angry with Temperance for pushing you away.”
“I just wish I could understand why,” Booth concurred.
“But you can’t anymore than I could, and it’s so natural to be angry. I was so livid with Jeff for leaving me and taking our son too. I have never felt such rage in my life.”
“What made you… how did you begin to heal?” Booth couldn’t say ‘how have you gotten over it,’ because he knew no one ever did. He knew the pain changed, but it never went away.
“I had a son to take care of. I had to make decisions, for both of us. I had a cousin who had lost her husband to a heart attack around the same time, so that got us closer. We did a lot of talking. It was a slow process. One day at a time, and sometimes one minute at a time. And here I am. I know my life will never be what it was, but I do believe that I have learned about myself, about my capacity to get through the darkest, most devastating times and make the best out of it.”
Booth listened. She was an amazingly resilient woman.
“My days aren’t perfect, not by a long shot, and there are times when Nick retreats too, because he misses Ben. They were pretty close, but his friends and my family are helpful. Don’t isolate yourself from anyone Seeley; you need people. You can’t get through this alone, no matter how tempting it is. You just can’t, and neither can Temperance. It’s very important to stay in the land of the living. You’re still here.”
“It doesn’t feel…” Booth shook his head.
“No, I know. It feels empty.”
“Yeah.”
“You can’t stay empty, you can’t forget your son needs you to be whole. Temperance needs to be too - otherwise, how will he ever be?”
Booth nodded guiltily. “I’m thinking maybe… I need to take Cooper away from her. Not permanently of course, but for a while, until she’s more stable. I’m worried out of my mind about both of them.”
“You do get to see your son though, right?”
“Yeah, but it’s never enough.” Booth sounded so disheartened.
“No. You can never have enough time with them. Time is so fleeting.”
“I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to hurt her anymore, but I can’t afford to let my son be hurt by her fears either.”
“Seeley, let her do what she has to for a little while. Don’t push too hard. You don’t know how fragile she is inside, and you could really… she might go over the edge. I know you are upset about Cooper not being in school, but you know, Temperance would never willingly hurt him. She would protect him with her last breath. He’s what is keeping her sane now. Believe me; don’t take him away, at least not yet. If anyone had tried to take Nick from me, I would have… I don’t know. Just give it some time, and be patient. Be there for your son. If you can’t be there for her, if she won’t let you, there is not a lot you can do until she is ready to face the loss and to see that it has nothing to do with you. She must know that you are suffering every bit as much as she is, and she needs you to get through it. On some level she must know that, but she isn’t there yet. She isn’t ready yet.”
“I’m not so sure that will ever happen, and how can I let her isolate my son like this?”
“I’m sure it’s temporary. She will see. Right now, she’s living for your son. Seeley, in time she will put him back in school, and she will start to heal.”
“You really believe she will get there by herself?” Booth asked doubtfully. “She had other traumas, but this is the worst one by far. Bones has bounced back before, but I’m not sure if she can again. This one may be the one to break her. She’s strong and very brave, but this was her baby girl… our baby girl.”
“I know.” Emma’s heart broke for them.
“Bones has had more than her share of grief and…” Booth didn’t want to have to go into the gory details.
“I know a little.” Emma’s hands gestured her understanding, and her eyes spared him reliving more anguish. “The city is small when it comes to gossip.”
“Yeah… we’ve made the front page a few too many times.” Booth said sadly.
Emma knew. She’d read all the newspaper accounts and she remembered thinking what a beautiful couple they were when the Gravedigger character came around. Then she read in one of the reports about Brennan being a foster child, and she remembered thinking that other people had just as much anguish. She certainly wasn’t alone. And now this poor man was sitting here dealing with more than one person should ever have to.
“I can’t tell you what to do, and I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but it seems like taking your son away from her would be the worst thing you could do to her right now. What would she have to live for?” Emma asked empathetically.
“Maybe you are right, maybe I’m being rash. I mean he isn’t in school, but that doesn’t mean he can’t have friends. And Bones is brilliant, he surely won’t lack in his education.”
“No, of course not and maybe teaching him will be a good distraction for her. When the time is right, I’m sure he will be back. I was at the staff meeting this morning and a vote was taken. The head administrator will keep Cooper’s place open; we all felt that it was the right thing to do. He won’t be rejected when he wants to come back.”
“That was kind. I will have to thank them later. I’m really grateful to you too - for your time today. I’m sure you need to get home to your son.” Booth wished he could go home to his.
She nodded, blinking back a few tears for him.
“You are a good Dad, I can tell. Just talk to him about it. I’m sure he will tell you how he feels. You two seemed close at parents’ night.”
“Yeah. We are.” Booth’s eyes filled up with tears again, and he didn’t withdraw when Emma covered his hand lightly.
It felt good to talk to someone who understood, and having someone to listen made all the difference.
X-X-X-X-X-X
Brennan was surprised when Booth didn’t overreact to her removing Cooper from school. He called, and his tone was clipped and his conversation short, but he seemed okay with the fact that Cooper was going to be home with her.
That he hadn’t fought her was a relief. She had dreaded the big confrontation with him. Maybe Booth didn’t give a damn really and was just going through the motions. She wondered if he’d called Emma Foster back. She told herself she didn’t give a damn about her. She had way too much to do to worry about Booth and all the legions of woman who would be beating down his door.
A/N: Thanks for reading. So, what did you think of Emma Foster so far?