Bones Fanfic: Stuck In A Moment (5/27)
Title: Stuck In A Moment
Author: biba79
Disclaimer: Characters aren’t mine, they belong to Hart Hanson.
Pairings/Characters: Booth/Brennan
Rating: T
Summary: An event tests Booth and Brennan's relationship. Booth kept telling himself that it would take time, and he needed to be patient. Will they be able to get through it? Future Fic! B/B!
Word Count: 1,807
Spoiler: None
Preview Chapters: One - Two - Three - Four
A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing. Hopefully from now on, it won’t be as dark, but it will still be a little sad. But remember, at least there is an end in sight. I appreciate all the reviews.
Song “Broken” by Seether
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
Chapter 5
Brennan walked into the house, and she could feel his absence. She knew he had come and gone. The house felt emptier, but she needed to be sure. She told Cooper to head to his room to change for bed.
“But I miss Daddy’s stories, and I can’t sleep without a hug,” he wailed. He had spent the afternoon moping and angry. She tried her best to reassure him that he would see plenty of his father, but nothing seemed to calm him down. “I won’t go to sleep without a Daddy hug,” he cried.
“Do as I tell you!” Brennan snapped, immediately regretting it. “I’m sorry baby, I know… I know… I promise I’ll come in and read to you… and I’ll lay next to you as long as you want.”
“Really?” He asked skeptically, not completely pleased with the results of his complaints.
“Really, now get a move on.” Brennan followed him up, reaching her room - what used to be their room. She opened the door and immediately smelled his cologne. She felt a stab of pain as she forced herself to his walk-in closet. His suitcases were gone. Her favorite shirt was gone - the one he let her wear whenever she was a little too scantily clad after an evening of lovemaking. Her eyes closed to shut it out. The bare hangers held the few things he left behind. Apparently he agreed they should make a clean break. She would send him the rest. Seeley Booth was history. She shut the door, leaving what was left in the darkness.
She walked into the master bathroom, seeing that his side was bare. She smiled bitterly - it didn’t take much to make him go. Maybe he wanted to go and was afraid to say so. Maybe all the pleas were empty and insincere. Maybe he knew, as she did, that any chance for their happiness was lost. So she had made it easy.
She took one last glance around the spacious room, blocking the memories that threatened to overtake her. She turned out the light and headed to her son’s room.
Booth was finally out of the house, out of her life.
She paused outside Cooper’s door; and she saw that the door to Elizabeth’s room was ajar. She walked over to it, swiftly shutting it tightly. She stared at it, tempted to change her mind and go inside. Maybe one day she could go in, but it was just too painful. She couldn’t go in alone.
She walked slowly towards Cooper’s room.
“Mom.” Cooper sat up eagerly, but his smile changed when he saw her sorrowful face. “I miss Liz too.” He said it knowing it wouldn’t do any good. Brennan’s memories bombarded her again, the nickname bringing back the first day of her daughter’s life. They had been overjoyed to have a girl.
Booth had missed Cooper’s birth because he was following a lead on an important case and had been unreachable. No one had predicted that Brennan would go into labor a month early, so he had gotten there an hour too late. Booth had more than made up for his lack of involvement with Cooper’s birth when it was time for Brennan to deliver Elizabeth. He had held her hand and whispered words of encouragement. He had rubbed her back and fed her ice chips as their precious baby girl made her entrance into the world. He had cried as much as when he had met Parker and Cooper, maybe even more. Brennan had touched his face, wiped his tears, and then her own, as she presented him the perfect anniversary gift. He cried again as he picked up his baby girl. The love shone in his eyes.
Elizabeth had stuck only briefly. The day they brought her home from the hospital, Cooper had given the name his own special spin. ‘Lizard!’ He couldn’t pronounce Elizabeth, and it didn’t take more than a few hours for him to start calling her ‘Lizard.’
Brennan hadn’t given a lot of thought to what a two year old could do to a long name. The thought sent chills up Brennan’s spine. No way. Her daughter would not be known as ‘Lizard’, because she knew the nickname could only get worse from there, and she would be teased later in school. Booth and Brennan quickly decided that ‘Lizard’ would be better if shortened to Liz. That was the name that stuck.
“I know you do,” Brennan nodded. Cooper was the only one she felt she could confide in; the only one she would show her feelings to. She wouldn’t let anyone else in.
“Tell me again why you decided to call her Liz?” He asked, loving that story. Finding comfort in the validating that Elizabeth had been here. His Liz had existed and always would in his heart.
She told him again, knowing full well how it would end.
She wondered if he had been getting secret instructions from his Auntie Angela. For a brief moment, the grief was left behind as she giggled and tickled him back, enjoying the freedom he gave her to relax, to be innocent and playful. It wasn’t wrong if you did it for a child, but any other time she felt too guilty. What right did she have to ever be happy again?
She hated seeing the sadness in his big innocent eyes. Why did someone so little have to experience so much?
“Mom, will Daddy come home soon?” Cooper was scared. Scared of how little he had seen recently of the loving, teasing relationship his parents had once shared. Daddy was gone, nothing was the same. He didn’t understand anything now. His Daddy simply said he had to leave for a while, he knew by his father’s face that he didn’t want to leave.
“I don’t know, Cooper…. I don’t know.” Brennan would always be truthful with him.
“Why did you make him go away?”
Brennan felt her anger rising. “Did Daddy say that?”
“No! He didn’t want to go, I could tell. He said he had to! But Mom, he was crying. The only time I ever saw him cry was when Liz died. He must be sad about leaving home.”
“Coop, it’s just a hard time for Daddy and I right now. We both believe it is best if he’s not here. Sometimes grown-ups have to have some time to work things out.”
“Why?” Cooper’s innocent curiosity left Brennan stumped. Sometimes children asked the toughest questions.
“It’s just been… we have things to sort out…”
“… And then Daddy can come home?” Cooper asked hopefully.
“I think we need some time… Cooper… maybe we just need some time.” Brennan kissed his forehead and, in deference to Booth’s ritual, she recited the evening prayers with him.
At the end, he always asked God to bless Mommy and Daddy and Liz, and on, and on to every person and animal he knew. This time he didn’t say Liz’s name. Brennan needed to know what he thought and what he believed.
“Cooper, why did you leave out Liz? Do you think she doesn’t need prayers anymore?”
“No, Mom. Angels don’t need prayers. I pray to her now. She’s one of them.”
Brennan’s chin trembled as a few tears fell.
“Daddy cried when I told him that too.”
“She is an angel… and so are you Cooper. My beautiful little angel.”
“Don’t worry, Mom. I won’t leave you, not ever!” Cooper brought Brennan down for a tight hug.
Brennan’s voice caught as she whispered to him, “I’ll hold you to that, Coop.”
Cooper lay there looking up at the woman who used to be so happy. He wanted his family back. He missed the nights his Daddy would sneak into their rooms, first gathering Elizabeth, then him, for piggy-back rides. They would hit Daddy’s waist lightly, telling him to giddy up, and he would try to maintain some element of surprise. He would ride them right to wherever Brennan was working. She would act all surprised, even though Cooper knew she always saw them coming. Moms had eyes in the back of their heads, she often assured him. Then Daddy would buck like a wild horse, tossing him and Elizabeth into Brennan’s waiting arms. They would all have so much fun together, laughing and carrying on. He missed that so very much. He longed for his little sister to come back and play with him and their Mommy and Daddy again.
She pulled his covers up and reached to turn out the bedside light. He cuddled up against her, and she waited until she heard the rhythmic breathing, then she let the tears fall. She was grateful that he wouldn’t sleep alone.
She had not been in their bed for a week. Booth had never come home after that day in the office when she told him of her intent to separate. He had simply packed his things and left a few days later. She knew he had gotten a room at some hotel, but she never made it her business to find out which one. She had the number on the fridge, just in case she needed it. She couldn’t bring herself to go into the bedroom for more than quick changes; she showered and put her makeup on downstairs.
She doubted she would ever be able to sleep there again. Not without Booth. She held the pain back, not wanting her quaking body to awaken Cooper. She wasn’t going to allow anyone to see how torn to bits she was. It was good that Booth was gone. She might have given in eventually, because he was the only one who knew how to break down her barrier. She could never afford to do that. She couldn’t afford to let anyone in ever again.
A/N: What do you guys think of Cooper?