being very very tired and in a place with a million of its very own rules is a terrible combination. the airport, for example, has so many intricate codes of conduct that it is practically impossible to master the art of moving through such a place without fucking up on a grand scale. you need a boarding pass to get on your plane. you must check in ( Read more... )

"dear csilla ( Read more... )

human beings have a tendency to nest, to create havens of permanence in a world of constant change. it's stable, it's calming, it's.....unnatural. if life is constatly pushing us to change, change, change (which , i believe, it truly is), why are we always ready to impede the world's progress ( Read more... )

in 8 short days i will begin my journey to the wilderness of the south. in preparation, i have been reading the instructor manual provided me by outward bound. this is too great a resource to be kept to myself. here are some selected excerpts:

"prior to wilderness expeditions students will be provided with appropriate toiletries. due to the nature ( Read more... )

my sissy got married today. i wrote my speech this morning while i was getting my hair done. it goes a little something like this:

"my whole life i've been part of a twosome. our family was split into "the little ones" and "hajnal and csilla." i was half of a pair; it was part of my identity. it worked well for me: i have a hard time remembering ( Read more... )

your body produces new cells at such a rate that They ( Read more... )

oops.

i drove 2,312 miles during the past week. that's like from here to california.....except i didn't really leave my neighborhood of states ( Read more... )

i cannot be a functioning member of society if my eyes decide to burn and juice and stop seeing every few weeks.

more importantly, i cannot take an awesome job that involves leading people through the wilderness. blind leading the blind, yeah.

eye doctor lady, you better fix me wednesday.

until very recently my world ended shortly after may 31, when school got out. now it extends a little longer, to a hazy date somewhere around august 12.

that is when i will be traveling to florida. to live. for at least a few months. to be a wilderness instructor for outward bound discovery. after a few months of training, if all goes well, i'll ( Read more... )