For me love and trust are almost completely separate, because I've learned that someone can have absolutely the best intentions and have ethics that I completely agree with, and yet they don't know themselves well enough for me to trust what they say: they can be wrong, or bad at predictions, etc. I can love them, and still not be able to trust ( Read more... )

icon: "distance (two hands (from a brown person and a white person) just barely apart, facing each other palm to palm)"
Content note: contains specific examples of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse between my parents.My dad was in town this week and reminded me that the last time he was in town, I asked him if he had "an exit strategy" with ( Read more... )

icon: "gamine (a photo of me as a seven-year-old child, freckled with frizzy hair and a solemn expression, leaning against a tree)"There aren't many places I remember fondly from my childhood, since I don't remember much, but one stands out: the home and neighborhood of my best friend Rebecca, from when I was 15 to 19. I loved Rebecca passionately ( Read more... )

icon: "analytical (a close-up photo of my eye in bright sunlight, showing the green and grey and roots-looking patterns)"When your parents or childhood caretakers have abused you, it is profoundly important to admit that it was abuse* (at least to yourself), regardless of your current relationship. Childhood is where you get your sense of normal; ( Read more... )

icon: "shock (a gif of the character Mick from Moonlight making a shocked/confused face, with eyebrows going up and then scrunching together. in between repetitions is a white screen with the text w t f)"
[last spring my dad made an agreement with me which established boundaries and respected my needs]Early spring last year my biodad, who owns the house in which I live, threatened to kick me out if I couldn't pay an unreasonable amount of rent ( Read more... )

icon: "progressing (a deeply, vividly green forest of thick vines and trees, with a tunnel running through where unused train tracks lay)"
What attitudes/behaviors have you feared inheriting from your bio family at any point in your life? How did/do you combat that fear?I've actually never feared inheriting attitudes/behaviors from my bio family. I ( Read more... )

icon: "tenebrous (a shadowy orange-light photo of my face, looking down, with an achingly sad expression)"possible tw/cn for childhood neglect and abuse ( Read more... )

icon: "confused (photo of a purple diamond-shaped sign with a line leading to four arrows all curving and pointing in different directions)"I started 2016 with a lot of hope. In January I connected a lot with Kylei, Sande, and Hannah; I had two graduation parties and started making more plans to spend time with people, and I started meditating ( Read more... )

icon: "tenebrous (a shadowy orange-light photo of my face, looking down, with an achingly sad expression)"
Within the past two weeks so fucking goddamn much has happened. [losing Papaw]Papaw (Topaz' grandparent, an incredibly sweet and gentle person) died and not only was I really sad for the loss and how intense it is for all who were close to him, but I was ( Read more... )

icon: "gamine (a photo of me as a seven-year-old child, freckled with frizzy hair and a solemn expression, leaning against a tree)"My feet have always been the most unlucky part of me. I pulled a tendon in my foot so badly that I had to wear a cast; part of my heel got deeply scraped on a shell at the beach; the head of a nail made a hole in my ( Read more... )