feeling urges for friend changes / intimacy practice planning / bad dreams / relationship updates

[belenen]

icon: "exuviate (photo of a dragonfly with shimmery green wings after its last metamorphosis, standing next to its previous exoskeleton)"I haven't felt fully seen by someone other than Topaz in a long time and I yearn for that. I don't know if I'm just bad at sharing or if most people have to feel romantic to actually try to see someone or if

Comments

[queerbychoice]

As drunk messaging goes, that sounds very not worth feeling embarrassed about. Sometimes people don't respond to things, but that doesn't mean you should be ashamed of having made the offer.

People in general are difficult to get close to. When I encounter this, I try to remember that I also am often difficult for people to get close to. This makes it a bit easier to understand why other people would be this way. Surely there must be people who've tried to get close to you at various points in your life and you just weren't up for it?

[belenen]

that is true, I should remember that I can be difficult for people to get close to. Thanks <3

[jayson_11]

It's an awful feeling when you feel like you invest more then what is given in return. Especially with people that supposed to be your "friends".
I can relate to exactly how you feel. Often I have friends that I have known for years tell me that they are too busy. This is unacceptable to me because I am NEVER a difficult person to to spend time with. I make sure I always have adequate time for friends.
I hope that things work out for you.

[jayson_11]

I stopped chasing friendships years ago. I wish I could say things are better but they are not. I have 2 friends in my life that are gold and would do anything for me or be there for me. Problem is they are not the friends that I can talk to about anything such as love, emotion, fear. They would look at that as being weak. I wish sometimes I had a sister that I could bounce things off of but I am an only child without siblings.
I am a single father. Work a forty hour work week that is at a job that is stressful and demanding. I have always had times for others. Maybe it's just the age bracket I am in. Most of my friends are married with kids. I never used that excuse. I am always able to manage my time wisely. Look I even have time for LJ. ;)

[belenen]

I don't mind people being too busy, as individuals -- it just gets to me when it is ALL of my friends because then any time with a friend takes such work.

thanks for the well-wishes!

[fayriekisses]

I've been feeling the same urge to make new friends, but I don't even know where to start. Where do I look? How do I find other people who are looking to make friends too? And i am looking for full time friends, not part time. I have shy tendencies so being aggressive about it is hard for me. :/

[belenen]

I have always failed when I try to do it on purpose. The annoying truth is that the only thing that has ever worked for me is to be as "ME" as I can be, as publicly as I can do it, and then pay attention to who is drawn in and see if I click with them.

[callmebee]

I think making friends as an adult is one of the most difficult things a person can do

[fragbert]

...I don't feel so intrusive (which doesn't come from you, I'm fearful of crossing boundaries and saying the "wrong thing")...

This is exactly how I feel as well.

[freshwaterdame]

I think making friends as an adult is one of the most difficult things a person can do.

This is really so true. I gets harder and harder.

[aubkabob]

I have moved so much in life that it's difficult for me to build lasting relationships. It's gotten to the point where if I don't find myself in regular "forced" interactions with someone, it's extremely hard to cultivate deeper relationships. It's almost as if I give up on friendship easily because I'm so used to a bubble of loved ones dispersing, and although I have wanted to change this, it's a difficult thing to make myself feel as if I'm worthy to ask for interactions. It's never that I don't think that the other person isn't worthy of my precious time, it's more that I don't want to bother anyone (even if they don't see it as a bother). Two landmarks in the last year helped to reinforce this: graduating from nursing school and quitting my retail job of 11 years. While in nursing school, you're in the academic trenches with 47 other people in your cohort and you feel that there's nothing in the world that could keep you from having that connection.... only to graduate and discover that nursing school was the ONLY thing you

[belenen]

The best way for me depends on where we're at? it can be posting on LJ regularly and commenting, or sometimes emailing (but I can be very bad at timing on that if it's not a simple message), and if we're at a comfort level with it, scheduled chats either on google hangouts or IM.