Comments | belenen: I appear to trust more than I do / trusting intentions & trusting followthrough / 77x7 chances

belenen

I appear to trust more than I do / trusting intentions & trusting followthrough / 77x7 chances

Feb 21, 2014 23:20

I may seem trusting, perhaps even too trusting. Certainly people have thought that I trusted people because I brought them close to me. (I felt very bad about this after they ended up hurt thinking they could trust someone I trusted, not knowing that I didn't actually trust that person). Let me say this: I trust very few people all the way. I let ( Read more... )

sunny, important comments, kylei, heather, topaz, relationships

Comments 8

(The comment has been removed)

belenen February 22 2014, 04:36:03 UTC

I don't really believe in sunshine/rainbow relationships, because all of my favorite connections except one have hurt me at least as much as they have made me happy. I'm okay with that though. I often reach for re-connection with people that I've fallen out of contact with, but if they cut contact then I don't (usually -- I may be forgetting something), because I would feel like I was disrespecting their wishes if I did.

Right now I have a pile of question marks. I feel like the things that hurt me before are not there anymore (except that we disagree on how to handle conflict with mutual friends: that's not a thing that hurts me but it is a thing that makes me feel less safe), but it's so new right now I just don't have any numbers. This is partly because I have no idea how you feel about me, I'm just realizing. So, how do you feel about me?

(The comment has been removed)

belenen February 25 2014, 04:37:18 UTC

I'm actually not childfree but on the fence about kids -- don't want them now, but might in the future, and I love reading about good parenting (like yours). So, you don't need to worry, I will be interested in your kids ( ... )

Thread 6

rainbowfox9 February 22 2014, 04:48:36 UTC

This is incredibly interesting to me. I would count myself as one of the most dependable people in my friends groups (well, maybe not recently or currently, but in the recent past I would) because I would drop everything in a second for anyone, and I have really tried to stay good on my word of being places or with people. I hate committing myself to things because I'm not sure if I can actually do it (if it would feel like an obligation thing, or if I'm doing it because it would genuinely make me happy). I prefer to know about things and then just show up if I feel up to it. More often than not I show up, but I can't overcommit myself ( ... )

Trust marsidotes February 23 2014, 10:10:21 UTC

I get the whole trust thing. I've got one friend in particular that I've known since high school, and that is a very long time. We've been friends for 54 years. Though I know she loves me and I her. . . I've never been able to truly trust her. It is sad. But, at least I know where I stand.

adi_stroyer February 25 2014, 21:17:10 UTC

I've always felt that opening up to someone is a calculated risk. You don't have to trust the person, just be aware of the harm they can do and try to be prepared to work through whatever hurt they could inflict.

Reading this also made me think of something that might come off as insulting but I hope that it doesn't. In knowing you and Kylei I've become less trust worthy. I used to be a person who would no matter what do everything I said I would and drop anything to help a person I cared about. That was EXTREMELY unhealthy for me, I spent years ignoring self care to make sure that I always kept my word and that I was always there when someone needed me. Which meant I wasn't there fully. So thank you, for showing me I can take care of myself without making everyone hate me. Without becoming a bad person.

adi_stroyer February 26 2014, 13:48:36 UTC

Am I in there? What colors do you see me as?