I appear to trust more than I do / trusting intentions & trusting followthrough / 77x7 chances

[belenen]

I may seem trusting, perhaps even too trusting. Certainly people have thought that I trusted people because I brought them close to me. (I felt very bad about this after they ended up hurt thinking they could trust someone I trusted, not knowing that I didn't actually trust that person). Let me say this: I trust very few people all the way. I let

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[belenen]

I don't really believe in sunshine/rainbow relationships, because all of my favorite connections except one have hurt me at least as much as they have made me happy. I'm okay with that though. I often reach for re-connection with people that I've fallen out of contact with, but if they cut contact then I don't (usually -- I may be forgetting something), because I would feel like I was disrespecting their wishes if I did.

Right now I have a pile of question marks. I feel like the things that hurt me before are not there anymore (except that we disagree on how to handle conflict with mutual friends: that's not a thing that hurts me but it is a thing that makes me feel less safe), but it's so new right now I just don't have any numbers. This is partly because I have no idea how you feel about me, I'm just realizing. So, how do you feel about me?

[belenen]

I'm actually not childfree but on the fence about kids -- don't want them now, but might in the future, and I love reading about good parenting (like yours). So, you don't need to worry, I will be interested in your kids

[belenen]

Ah, I can understand why you made that choice, I might have done the same. I wasn't keeping up with my friends page well at that point, and hadn't yet learned the trick of getting notifications for posts by people I didn't want to miss. So I never saw your post. If I had I would have empathized. I'm sorry.