Fanfiction: 'No. You can't have him.' (Chapter 4/4)
Pairing: Takizawa Hideaki x Imai Tsubasa
Genre: Romance, fluff, angst
Rating: G
Disclaimer: TxT is mine.... or are they?
Summary: The reason behind why there's been no TxT unit activity for a whole year... revealed.
Chapter 1/4: http://avery-averette.livejournal.com/2345.html
Chapter 2/4: http://avery-averette.livejournal.com/2632.html
Chapter 3/4: http://avery-averette.livejournal.com/2824.html
Chapter 4
The rain was getting stronger. It reminded him of a year ago. Like earlier today, he was standing in Johnny-san’s large office looking out at the same grey skies and pouring rain. Johnny-san, who had overhead him telling Tsubasa ‘I need to see you tonight, it is very important’, somehow sensed the resolve in his heart to finally confess to Tsubasa.
And Johnny-san’s response? He suspended all Tackey & Tsubasa unit activities. He wanted Takki to seriously rethink his decision and sort out his feelings.
Over the years, the jimusho had received more than its fair share of bad rap. As if it wasn’t disasterous enough that Johnny-san himself was accused of raping his young talents, his artiste was linked to under-aged pregnancy, and that was just the highlight among many other scandals. Enough was enough.
Johnny-san did not want the billion-dollar empire that he built be yet another target of unsavoury news. And he did not want it to happen to, of all people, his favourite ward, the precious leader of his Johnny’s Juniors. Takki was special.
For fear of further antagonizing his control freak of a boss and risk facing disbandment, Takki accepted his decision. He always did, and without question. There was just no refusing Johnny-san. In front of the powerful old man, he was just a pawn. A pawn capable of only awaiting orders.
If waiting a year could convince Johnny-san that he was serious about Tsubasa. If holding out a year could move him and earn his blessing, Takki would suffer it.
Not that Takki didn’t fight back. Quietly and subtly, he did. In the music videos of his second solo album, Sha La La/Mugen no Hane, so many things in it was a reminder of Tsubasa and their unit. The dance moves were a combo of the steps from their previous hits. The ring that he wore when they debuted and the black nail polish that Tsubasa used to wear, all resurfaced and had their fair share of airtime. If that wasn’t enough, the clock in the music video of Mugen no Hane was pointing at 9:11, the date of their debut. It was as if Takki was announcing to Johnny-san that it was time for Tackey and Tsubasa to be back together again.
All these buildup of hope and evidence of love.
As time goes on without you
And days turn into years.
They’re filled with a million memories
And a thousand silent tears.
………..
But today, after enduring a long agonising year that seemed to stretch on forever, he was still faced with a wall. A cold, unfeeling, insurmountable wall.
‘No. You can’t have him.’ Johnny-san was adamant.
His world collapsed. For a moment, it felt like life, and everything good about it, was sucked out of him. All that was left, was an empty shell, a shiny but soulless façade.
In a daze, he left Johnny-san’s office. If he hadn’t spend more than half his life in the jimusho, he would have lost his way. He didn’t know how, but he managed to get back to his car in one piece. Even though there were times, he couldn’t feel his knees or that he was sure the floor had given way below and that he was falling.
Back in his Ferrari, he slowly came to his senses. But that only succeeded in opening up a floodgate of pain and regret.
‘Why am I so f***ing helpless?’
‘When did I become such a useless coward? A bloody good-for-nothing.’
The courage he had to fight for his dream of debuting together, where did it go?
Did time eat up his courage? And now, it was about to swallow up his love too.
……
By the time he arrived home, the rain had stopped. But the skies were still lifeless. Not that it mattered to him. Not that anything mattered to him now.
Reaching his room, Takki didn’t even bother run his bath. It had never failed to offer him comfort but today, he doubted it was going to be of any help. Even if it could, he felt so miserable that he simply wanted to wallow in self-pity and let it engulf him whole and spit him out like a despised morsel, like the loathsome trash that he was.
He laid on his side of the large empty double-sized bed, eyeing the darkness outside, mirroring his own. He had always kept to his side of the bed. It was a habit he had not outgrown, hoping that someday, Tsubasa would be taking up his empty side soon. But like the bleakness outside, this hope had extinguished.
Unable to hold them back anymore, he once again let the tears flow. Let them fill the emptiness of the bed, of the room, of his life. They streamed down his nose quietly, like his love silently slipping away. Slowly slipping away into oblivion, never given a voice.
Wrinkling the dull-coloured bed sheet weakly with trembling fingers, it was as if he was desperately trying to cling onto something, anything. But he just kept falling and helplessly sinking further into this endless black hole.
Mucus and tears wetting his sheet and face contorted in anguish, he wanted to stop breathing, to end this pain. Someone so useless and helpless didn’t deserve to live. He wanted to disappear, just totally disappear altogether.
As he was about to close his eyes, he felt it.
Warmth on his skin. That familiar warmth on his skin. Disbelievingly, he turned to the source. That warmth traveled up to his checks to catch a falling tear; and gently, it soothed away the remaining streaks.
Before he could say anything, luscious lips cupped his eyes. And the scent of home once again overwhelmed his sense.
‘Tsubasa…’
He whispered as he gave in to his desires and wrapped himself around Tsubasa, tightly.
‘I still have the key. And I miss you.’
Suddenly, it all made sense. It became so clear now why he sometimes found his stuff moved, his senbei eaten, his sheets crumpled, when he thought there was no one but him.
They were so close he could feel Tsubasa’s heartbeat.
‘Promise me that I’ll always be the one to kiss away your tears.’
Feeling Takki’s hair caress his cheek in agreement, Tsubasa endeavoured to hug Takki even more snuggly.
As he lingered in Tsubasa’s warm embrace, feeling their hearts beat as one. He knew now that they had never really been apart. And that some confessions are not necessary. Because some love doesn’t need to be voiced.
Note: The end. Thank you for following through. Like it? Or not? Let me know. Comments make me
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The next is something light and fluffy, a five-part story, Puppy Love. Stay tuned. Chapter 1/5: Like at First Sight.