Fanfiction: 'No. You can't have him.' (Chapter 3/4)
Pairing: Takizawa Hideaki x Imai Tsubasa
Genre: Romance, fluff, angst
Rating: G
Disclaimer: TxT is mine.... or are they?
Summary: The reason behind why there's been no TxT unit activity for a whole year... revealed, slowly. My very first multi-chap, so please stay with me. It's only gonna be 4 short chaps anyway. Thanks.
Chapter 1/4: http://avery-averette.livejournal.com/2345.html
Chapter 2/4: http://avery-averette.livejournal.com/2632.html
Takki still couldn’t figure out when it happened. But one day, comfortable familiarity became butterflies in his stomach. He had started to feel shy and jittery around Tsubasa.
When Tsubasa looked at him for even a while, Takki would quickly turn his reddening face away. If Tsubasa were to accidentally touch him, during their many photo shoots together, he would feel electricity travel through him. But nothing could beat Tsubasa smiling at him. Even the faintest of smile would make his stomach flip and his entire being warm all over.
Despite the internal turmoil, Takki was happy. Being in the same room with Tsubasa, made him glow. Standing close together, made him blush furiously. Heck, just thinking of him would elicit a soft smile on his lips.
…..
But one day it became too much. Takki felt he could no longer bring himself to look at Tsubasa in the eyes for any length of time, He felt too uneasy around him, too self-conscious of his own awkwardness. Takki actually amazed himself for never actually once fall apart in front of Tsubasa, even when he certainly felt like it, too often. He was fast becoming a nervous wreck.
Confession?
He had thought about it before. But he had too much to lose, over a decade of friendship, of totally in-synched partnership. He couldn’t bear the thought of Tsubasa being disgusted with him. He didn’t want Tsubasa to hate him.
So he did what he thought best, to quarantine himself, or at least his feelings. Maybe these emotions raging inside him, like a virus, would die off after a little ‘rest’. Hence, he embarked on his cold turkey treatment with a vengeance, cutting himself off Tsubasa, avoiding him as much as possible.
He stopped inviting Tsubasa to stop over his place. No more late nights writing music together, him composing the tunes while Tsubasa worked on the lyrics. And he stopped visiting Tsubasa’s flat too, even when the other eagerly offered to whip up a feast for him. They had almost stopped spending private time together outside of their scheduled unit activities, except, of course, on their birthdays.
It was a ritual that they celebrate their birthdays together. This, Takki couldn’t give up. He still wanted to spend his most important day of the year with his most important friend.
But he knew very well that this friendship had changed. Totally gone where the days when he could bring himself, in the name of fan service, to ‘molest’ Tsubasa on national TV. It felt so alien now, how he could so carefreely tease the other then. But while he couldn’t bring himself to express how he felt anymore, he still happily lapped it up when Tsubasa delivered them, like when he announced at their concerts that they had just registered their ‘marriage’. Even if it were fan service, a fantasy, at least he would still have that.
…….
It didn’t take long, for Takki to realise that the only thing more painful than admitting to his feelings was to stay apart. Soon he understood that it just wasn’t going to work out. Whether it was together or apart, day or night, Tsubasa occupied his entire existence. He wanted so much to reach out and touch his partner that it was tearing him up inside. All he wanted was for once to hold Tsubasa, to hug him tight, kiss him squarely on his lips and to look into his eyes, and tell him that he loved him. He really loved him.
……
The rain was getting stronger. It reminded him of a year ago. Like earlier today, he was standing in Johnny-san’s large office looking out at the same grey skies and pouring rain. Johnny-san, who had overheard him telling Tsubasa ‘I need to see you tonight, it is very important’, somehow sensed the resolve in his heart to finally confess to Tsubasa.
Note: Am listening to MJ's, You are not alone. 'Though we're far apart, you're always in my heart.' I hope both Takki and Tsubasa always feel loved, never alone, and that they treasure the moments because life ends.
On another note, I feel alone. Can someone out there start writing a TxT fanfic/drabble to accompany me? No? Then at least a comment to keep me going?
Chapter 4 / Finale: http://avery-averette.livejournal.com/3276.html