Our story doesn't have a clear beginning, middle, or end.
It's like we skipped to the good parts on page 57,
falling onto the bed & discovering how strong the feelings were,
before backtracking and reading how we got there.
And then, without warning, you flipped forward to the last chapter,
reading the falling apart, the fights, the anguish we felt.
The ( Read more... )

 Babe, I'm getting sick of trying to keep you in my life. If you want to be there, find a way to keep yourself there. Because my heart can't take this anymore.

What am I doing to myself?! It's like I don't know how to stop. I just keep getting more & more entangled in a web I created for myself. Of confusion. Of men. Of emotions. Of needs/desires. What is wrong with me? Every time I think I figure out the end of one string, I find another color that's infused with it and the process starts all over again ( Read more... )

My body hurts & all I wanna do is cry,
but I'm too mad for the tears to come
& almost too tired to care.
All I want to know is why it bothers me so much
when you decide you don't want to be there.
It shouldn't, I know it, but it does.
So turn off the lights & turn down the sound,
all I wanna do is close my eyes
& dream about the next time you might be ( Read more... )

Looking in through the window it looks like your typical family. A mother and three daughters, one barely eating, one who doesn't eat because she hates everything, one who eats to please her mother, and the last who eats just enough of what's been prepared. No one would guess that one hates her life more than anything, who is never pleased with ( Read more... )

This is basically something that I've discovered recently...that as soon as I leave him I'm itching to talk to him. To say something. To see him again. Tonight after I went to dinner with him & some others I texted him. I don't know why, there was no real reasoning behind it...but I did. I saw him on Tuesday & still hoped that he would come around ( Read more... )

So, I'm honestly not sure what these feelings about M are. I mean, he's not like any guy I've dated before (sure he's got the swag of D & the way of flirting of A) but still...I don't understand what it is that's drawing me to him. It's not like he even REALLY makes it seem like he likes me. Other than the few times I've gotten a "sexy" or ( Read more... )

So I am a terrible person. Tonight I found out that my aunt has Hodgkin's disease and you know what my first thought was?  Well at least she's not directly related to me. It's a horrible thing, to only think of yourself. But I did look it up, it sounds like a painful process, the symptoms of it. But it's the most curable form of cancer, or one of ( Read more... )

So this weekend just proves that you can't go backward, you can't expect things to stay the same. Going to the play...I haven't felt like such an outsider in a really long time. Everyone's life has gone on, my life has gone on & changed. You can't just expect to be able to go back and feel like you did. Theatre was a huge part of my life, a comfort ( Read more... )

I don't know why I'm doing this to myself. All you do is bring me up to watch me fall all over again. I don't know what you're doing. Self preservation. You feel guilty. I don't know. All I know is that this is killing me.

What am I supposed to?

Please, tell me what you want from me. I don't want to watch my good days ruined because you can't make ( Read more... )