So Shawn is on deployment... has been now for two months. I got to talk to him on Thursday and Friday before he went back "under water" for an undisclosed amount of time. Honestly, I am still numb. I always go through a few days of denial where I still expect the phone to ring and for him to say "Just kidding!". I expect in a few more days I will ( Read more... )

I have gotten to the point where my heart can not possibly break anymore. I am done trying. I know that people are going to judge me... 'Specially when they find out the other details of the story... I don't really fucking care... Honestly, what is the point. The people that are going to judge me, turn their back on me- those are not the type of ( Read more... )

My default setting is pretty much "shut down" mode. I would rather be distanced from the world around me than be hurt by anyone. I have worked so hard not to operate in that mode daily, but recently I discovered that I have been shut down for months now and that there is only one thing that can bring me out of that mode and that is my daughter ( Read more... )

I feel one way. Yet I do something else. And all the while my head and heart are arguing over which is the best decision. Well I have one thing to say about that ( Read more... )

So I think that the one thing that I will never understand in my life will be knowing people will never be treated with the respect that they deserve. And when I say this, I mean that there are people out there that deserve an ass-load of respect, but get none; while others who manipulate and deceive are all but exalted! For once I want to see ( Read more... )

right now I hate him. I think that i should just leave because he is obviously no different than all the other retarded males that I have known my whole life. they are hard wired to be emotionally retarded- gauranteed ( Read more... )

"If today could get any worse, I would like to see it try ( Read more... )

So I decided to give this another try... writing... I am a lot less angry now so it will be interesting to see how it pans out ( Read more... )

So I decided to start fresh because the anger was getting to be a bit much. Megan, feel free to continue checking my myspace because I know that you are still obsessed with the whole situation and can't let go. Make sure to tell everyone about it to. But when you do, make sure to twist it around a whole lot so they think that you are blameless, k ( Read more... )

Yeah, you are the one that says that I am the one that checks up on you and your shit but you are the one that reads my live journal which proves that you are going out of your way to check up on me. The difference is that instead of posting a blog about it so that everyone will comment on it, I post it here. And when you respond in a blog. It'll ( Read more... )