[fic] Just Don't Look Back, Chapter 13 - Yugioh, YamixYugi, angst/romance, R, AU
Title: Just Don't Look Back
Chapter: 13
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Rating: R
Genre: Angst/romance
Pairing: YamixYugi
Archive: Here
Overall warnings: AU, implied sex, insanity, violence
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Before he met Yugi, Yami spent his days panhandling alone. Yugi put his heart into changing Yami’s life, giving him companionship, a home and his love. But even he can’t save Yami from the control of his past, nor the dark path he is set upon.
Disclaimer: Yugioh continues to not belong to me.
- 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06 - 07 - 08 - 09 - 10 - 11 - 12 -
---
Yami’s return to the shop went well for the first two minutes; long enough for Sugoroku to assure him he’d been serious when he told him he still had his job. It fell apart when Yugi’s mother refused to let him come upstairs.
“I decide who lives here and who doesn’t,” she declared, blocking the stairs. “Yami, I’m sorry, but you have to leave.”
Crushed, Yami backed away. Yugi, however, stared angrily at his mother. “Mom, come on.”
They were the first words he’d spoken to her since Sunday morning. Surprise crossed her face before being replaced by steel.
“No Yugi, I’ve made up my mind. He can’t stay here anymore.”
Scowling, Yugi pushed past her. “Can I talk to you upstairs?” He kept walking before she could answer. Frowning as well, she followed, until they reached the second floor. The moment they did, Yugi spun around.
“What is your problem?!” he demanded. Her eyes narrowed.
“Watch what you say, young man.”
“Why are you forcing Yami out?”
Hands on her hips, she said, “You think I’m going to just let him come back here after everything he’s done? Your father is coming home this evening, it will be difficult enough to explain why the shop help is living in our store room, much less explain why I’m letting a man who has disrupted your life as much as he has stay here.”
Yugi glared. “Yami hasn’t-”
“Ever since you met him things have been getting steadily worse.”
“He hasn’t done-”
“First you’re out late every day, the insanity of it, spending hours with a complete stranger. God knows what might have happened to you.”
“Nothing happened!” Yugi argued.
“And then you bring him home and lie to us about him, since when do you lie?”
“I was trying to protect-”
“Now you’re skipping school. You have never been a very devoted student but I know you did not skip school before meeting him!”
“I had to talk to him today to stop him from leaving, I didn’t have a choice!”
“Not to mention that when those men beat you up, he didn't even have the decency to stay here and take responsibility for what he did,” she said. “He just ups and leaves-”
“Mom, stop.” Yugi’s voice turned icy with anger for the second time that day. He was rather shocked at how many different fights he’d been in the last couple days. First the men, then arguing with Yami, now yelling at his own mother. He wasn’t sure what had come over him, only that he was sick and tired of everyone around him refusing to listen to him. “That was not Yami’s fault!”
“I-”
“No, listen to me!” Yugi snapped. “I chose to fight them, it was my idea! They would have let me go, I stayed, I said I wanted to fight. I wanted them to know they couldn’t intimidate me. In fact, I held my own pretty well in it. Yami had nothing to do with it. I chose to skip school to go and get him, that was my idea, he didn’t ask me to come. I stayed out late with him because I wanted to spend time with him. I told you before; I knew I could trust him. Lying to you about his past wasn’t the right thing to do, but I did it because I wanted him to have a home! And I knew you wouldn’t have let him stay if you met him knowing that he was homeless and his mother was in jail. I knew you’d be judgmental.”
“I am not-”
“And I was right, wasn’t I? You don’t even know him, you don’t know his mother. But because she did some jail time for some dumb mistakes she made out of desperation, you don’t even want to try to get to know her. And you clearly haven’t tried to get to know Yami; you’d rather just make your own assumptions about him, whether they're true or not!”
“Yugi,” she said, ignoring his tirade, or perhaps just waiting to address it later. “You might not be able to see it right now, but you need to trust me-”
“I’ve got no reason to trust you,” he returned, feeling some small spark of cruel victory at the hurt that crossed her face, but earning no pleasure from it. The acknowledgment of that fact actually hurt him as well. He’d always gotten along with his mother. The fact that she’d lied stung him.
“Yugi…”
“You lied to me, and to him.” He tightened his jaw, trying to avoid letting his voice shake. “Even though he was hurt you didn’t reassure him. You promised me you had and I trusted you, and because of that I wasn’t there to help him.”
“I’m trying to protect you.”
“You’re trying to protect me by sending away the person I love? Oh thank you, that makes perfect sense.”
She had found a way to mask whatever pain his words had brought, because her voice was steady as she asked, “What if he runs away again, Yugi? I’ve watched you sit here, depressed and guilt-ridden twice already because he’s unable to handle pressure.”
“He’s not going to run again, he told me-”
“Told you what? That things would be different this time?”
Yugi met her eyes. “Yes.”
She didn’t bother to hide her doubtful frown.
“Yami meant it! He’s changed, Mom-”
“How do you know?”
“He came back!”
“And what difference does that make? He came back before and he left again.”
“He was scared. Yeah he should have chosen not to leave but that’s easy for us to say, we haven’t gone through what he has!”
“Fine, then tell me this,” she said. “Did he want to come back, or did you make him?”
“What?”
“Today. Did he make the choice to come back on his own or did you have to talk him into it?”
Yugi faltered. “I…well, he was nervous, so obviously I had to convince him.”
She shook her head. “If he didn’t want to be here you should have let him go.”
“You don’t understand,” Yugi said.
“I understand fine, Yugi,” she said. “I understand that he’s still bitter and isn’t over his problems yet, and when he can’t deal with something he takes it out on you. Twice in the last few months I’ve seen you crying and miserable because he’s taken off. What’s going to happen this time? He claims he’s changed? People don’t change overnight and sometimes don’t change at all. If he didn’t want to come back, sooner or later he’ll flip out and he’ll run away and you’ll be left here alone again, heartbroken. And he won’t be here for you; he’ll be gone someplace where he doesn’t have to see the pain he’s putting you through. I’m not giving him a chance to hurt you a third time.”
“Mom…” Yugi felt his eyes sting, torn between feeling surprised and even reluctantly touched that she was trying to prevent him heartache, hurt at her blunt words, and afraid because what she’d said about Yami leaving again was something he was scared of too. “Mom, you don’t know that will happen.”
“It’s happened twice already.”
“He can change!” A note of desperate hope rang in his tone.
She looked back at him evenly. “Yes, he can. But we both know it’s not likely.”
“But it takes time…he’s been through so much, of course it will take awhile, but this time he really is-”
“Really is what? Really is ‘fixed?’ Really is ‘better?’ He might need help you can’t give him. You can’t heal him just by existing, Yugi, no matter how much you want to.”
“You’re acting like he’s some kind of psycho!” Yugi said, nearly in tears, hating the perfectly-true words she was saying. “You don’t know him, Mom!”
“And you do?”
“Yes, I do! I love him, and he loves me, and he would never, ever hurt me on purpose. I know that!”
“Maybe he won’t hurt you on purpose, but the fact remains that he is hurting you. You have got to take care of yourself first.”
“I’m not going to turn him out because of something so selfish!”
“Sometimes you have to be selfish, Yugi. If he’s making you unhappy-”
“I don’t care!” Yugi interrupted, silencing her. “Mom, can’t you see that I don’t care? I want to be with Yami, and if he freaks out and runs, I want to be the person who goes after him, and if he loses it, I want to be there to talk him down. I already know all this, Eve - Yami’s mother - she explained it to me. She told me it wouldn’t be easy. I’m prepared for that. Any pain you think you’re preventing me by making him leave is only a fraction of how much it would hurt to lose him. I appreciate that you want to protect me, but I don’t need it, I’m not a little kid. I want to be there, it’s my choice. And if you make him leave,” he continued fiercely, “if you force him to leave and won’t let him come back, then you’d might as well kick me out too, because I’m going with him.”
“Yugi!”
“Yami’s trying to change, he’s doing his best. Now please Mom…give him a chance. A real chance, without prejudice. Just one, okay? If he…does leave again, I won’t ask you to take him back in.”
She hesitated. Yugi waited, feeling that speaking now would only hinder negotiations.
For a long moment they stared at each other, until Mrs. Mutou finally said, “Your father is getting home in a few hours. I’ll discuss it with him tomorrow and see what he says. I need to speak with him about your relationship as it is.”
“But until then?”
“Until then…Yami can stay.”
“Thank you,” he replied as politely as he could and left the room, not waiting for her to rekindle the argument. He paused long enough to compose himself into what he hoped was a calm, cheerful expression. But downstairs, he found Yami conspicuously absent.
“Where’s Yami?” he asked his grandfather, confused.
“He went upstairs after you did, and he came down a few minutes ago looking upset,” he replied, also looking bewildered. “He’s outside.”
Heart sinking, Yugi rushed to the door and opened it to see Yami sitting on the front steps, a forlorn slump to his shoulders.
“Yami,” he said gently, sitting down beside him. “Grandpa said you followed me upstairs…?”
Yami looked over at him sadly. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh Yami.” Yugi bit his lip, not having anticipated this. The whole point of going upstairs to talk was to protect Yami from whatever unkind things his mother would say about him. “Listen…what my mother said-”
“Don’t try to make excuses. You know what she said is true.” He scuffed at the sidewalk. “I have run away. I have taken out my problems on you and then left so that I wouldn’t have to see you in pain. I’ve broken your heart twice because I couldn’t deal with everything. She was spot-on.”
“Yes Yami, but I understand that you weren’t trying to hurt me.” He reached for his hand. “Mom doesn’t get it, she doesn’t know you, she thinks you’re just taking advantage of me and doing it on purpose. She’s just judging you based on the past.”
Yami pulled his hand away. “I’m never going to be good enough for her, am I?”
“It doesn’t matter if you’re good enough for her, all that matters is if you’re good enough for me.”
“She’s got a point…I’ll never get better.” He sighed. “I mean, I thought…today at the bus stop, for a second it felt like it would work out this time. I thought maybe this was it, maybe this was the turning point, but hearing her, she’s right, people like me-”
“What do you mean, people like you? You’re human just like everybody else. You’re not some kind of freak. This could be a turning point if you want it to be.”
“But what if I don’t change? I told you, there’s something…”
Yugi tried again to take his hand. This time Yami let him, and Yugi squeezed his fingers gently. “You don’t have to force change. Just be yourself and you’ll see that things work out. I love you as you are, flaws and all. You love me and all my flaws, right?”
Finally, a tiny smile crossed his face and he nodded, but it vanished quickly as something else seemed to occur to him.
“So you talked to my mom, huh?” he asked.
“When I was looking for you, yeah.”
“What…did you talk about?”
Yugi frowned. Yami seemed nervous, but that didn’t make any sense. “I don’t know, you I guess. I told her about the fight and how you left and how I was worried about you, and she told me it wasn’t my fault, and I told her I wanted to be with you in spite of the bad things. That was basically it.”
“Oh.” The news didn’t seem to cheer him, though he did look a little less anxious. “Okay. I was just curious.”
Yugi smiled at him and pulled him to his feet. “Come on Yami, cheer up. For me, alright? I got Mom to agree to let you stay till Dad comes home. I’m starving, so let’s go get something to eat.”
Yami got up and followed him upstairs. Yugi made sure to hold his hand extra tightly.
- - -
Yugi called Eve that night to tell her what had happened.
“I knew you would be the one who would get his attention,” she said after hearing the story.
“Well it sure wasn’t easy.” Yugi laughed a little. “I had to yell quite a lot.”
“But he listened to you.”
“Eventually.”
“Proof of concept, he would never listen to anybody else, not even ‘eventually.’ And truth be told, he probably needed the yelling.”
“Do you really think he’s going to be okay? I mean…after that…attack and all? I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it myself yet, but I’m afraid he’ll dwell on it,” Yugi confided. They’d already made plans to pretend like Yami had been staying at Eve’s so that he would have an alibi for the attack if it became necessary to have one. They both knew the testimony of a family member would be near-worthless as evidence, but they had to have a story if worst came to worst. It was the best they could do.
“I don’t know, Yugi…we can only just wait now and see.”
“I guess…I just hope nothing bad happens, the police haven’t contacted us so that’s a good sign, but-” he stopped, hearing the water shut off. “Oh, I’ve got to go, Yami’s about to get out of the shower.”
“Thank you again, Yugi. Bye.”
“Bye,” Yugi hung up the phone and was waiting by the counter when Yami arrived in the room, dressed in his usual night clothes and with a towel around his hair.
“Hello Yugi…that shower was awfully refreshing.”
“I hope you saved me some hot water,” Yugi said.
“Of course I did.”
“I mean hot water that I won’t have to turn the knob all the way to the scalding side just so I can get a lukewarm shower.”
“Oh don’t be a wimp, a little cold water is healthy,” Yami said, his tone teasing. Yugi was thrilled to hear the hint of playfulness; it was the first time he’d sounded normal since he arrived.
“Oh yeah? In that case tomorrow I’ll take the first shower and you can deal with the lukewarm leftover water,” Yugi teased back.
“Fair enough,” Yami replied.
Through this whole exchange Yugi had been sniffing the air interestedly, trying to locate the source of a delicious new scent that had reached him. It was only now, as Yami walked by him to return downstairs to the stock room, that Yugi realized Yami was the source.
“Yami, what are you wearing?”
“Wearing?” Yami glanced at his clothes. “I wear these all the time.”
“No, I mean that cologne or whatever it is.”
“I’m not wearing any cologne.”
“Then what do I smell?”
“Are you saying I stink?” Yami asked indignantly.
“No! I mean…” Yugi sighed. “I don’t know, it’s like soap or perfume or something.”
“I washed my hair, could that be it?”
Yugi edged closer. “I didn’t know my shampoo smelled so good.”
Yami unwrapped his damp hair and shook it out. “I don’t know…smelled like regular shampoo to me.”
“Well on you it smells great.” Yugi slid over to his side, smiling mischievously. “In fact I think I’ll just stay right here so I can enjoy it.”
Yami grinned and pulled Yugi to his chest. “By all means, do. In fact, I’ll go wash my hair again if you’d like.”
“Only if you let me join you,” Yugi replied, mustering the most innocent look he could, although he couldn’t hide the glint in his eyes. Yami raised an eyebrow.
“That could be arranged.”
“So that I get some of the hot water for once,” Yugi elaborated.
“Oh I see how it is, you’re just after my hot water.”
“Yours? Don’t forget whose house you’re living in!”
Yami laughed. It was such a wonderful sound. Yugi burrowed against his chest, (which, incidentally, also smelled great.)
“Yami…?”
“Hmn?” Yami’s hands were on his back, caressing all of Yugi’s favorite spots, enticing a small purr.
“…Nothing.” Yugi smiled and closed his eyes. Talking would ruin the moment. He didn’t need to say anything.
“Excuse me.” A third voice joined in, and they both turned around to see Yugi’s father, Kazuki Mutou. He had returned earlier, and although rather bemused to discover they’d opened the house to the new shop help, had said nothing openly against Yami living there. Yugi wasn’t sure if his mother had discussed anything with him yet, but he seemed remarkably unsurprised to find them standing there hugging, leading Yugi to assume someone must have filled him in. He let no sign of approval or disgust into his expression, however. “I need to get to the refrigerator.”
“Sorry Dad.” Yugi smoothly, albeit regretfully, detached himself from Yami and stepped aside. As soon as his father had the refrigerator door open and they were blocked from his view, Yugi gave Yami’s lower lip a quick nip.
Yami returned the fast kiss just in time, and slipped out of the room to go to bed.
Out of Yugi’s sight, the happiness faded fast. He had done his best to cheer up, as Yugi had requested, but when left to his own thoughts he quickly lost his optimism. By the time he reached his room, the warmth of Yugi's hug had worn off. Yami flopped down on his bed and lay awake, feeling increasingly anxious.
Yugi said this could be a turning point. How can it be when I’m not better? I’m just getting worse. He just can’t see it, he insists…he believes I’ll get better.
He rolled onto his side, hiding his face, not sure what he was hiding it from. Hope seemed possible in the light, around others, where he was protected. But in the dark, where nothing padded the truth, it was ridiculous.
He had made mistakes, and was losing it, and Yugi’s family knew it. How much longer, he wondered, before Yugi realizes they're right?
He wasn’t the only one lying awake. Yugi was staring up at his ceiling at the same moment, slowly bunching up the blankets in his hands. He thought about his phone call with Eve, the two of them creating an alibi, hoping that the police wouldn’t suspect Yami.
He’d always thought his sense of justice was sound. He advocated forgiveness, but even he had limits. Now, people had been hurt, and someone had died, and here he was, protecting the murderer out of his own free will.
They were bad people, he thought. They deserved what they got.
He closed his eyes and told himself he believed it.
X - X - X
Notes: Yeah, I named Yugi’s dad Kazuki. What the heck, it makes sense! His mom doesn’t have a name, and will continue to not have one if I can get away with it. I’ve heard some possibilities of what her canon name is supposed to be, but I can’t be sure. And every name I choose for her sounds dorky. Speaking of his mother, I'm hoping this gave a little more insight into her. Maybe she'll receive less death threats after this. xD; She's not a bad person. She's just willing to be a hardass if she has to when it comes to protecting Yugi.
This is both a celebratory post (yay White Day!) and a heal-the-pain post, (gahhh, Daylight Savings Time. T_T)
Chapter: 13
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Rating: R
Genre: Angst/romance
Pairing: YamixYugi
Archive: Here
Overall warnings: AU, implied sex, insanity, violence
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Before he met Yugi, Yami spent his days panhandling alone. Yugi put his heart into changing Yami’s life, giving him companionship, a home and his love. But even he can’t save Yami from the control of his past, nor the dark path he is set upon.
Disclaimer: Yugioh continues to not belong to me.
- 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06 - 07 - 08 - 09 - 10 - 11 - 12 -
---
Yami’s return to the shop went well for the first two minutes; long enough for Sugoroku to assure him he’d been serious when he told him he still had his job. It fell apart when Yugi’s mother refused to let him come upstairs.
“I decide who lives here and who doesn’t,” she declared, blocking the stairs. “Yami, I’m sorry, but you have to leave.”
Crushed, Yami backed away. Yugi, however, stared angrily at his mother. “Mom, come on.”
They were the first words he’d spoken to her since Sunday morning. Surprise crossed her face before being replaced by steel.
“No Yugi, I’ve made up my mind. He can’t stay here anymore.”
Scowling, Yugi pushed past her. “Can I talk to you upstairs?” He kept walking before she could answer. Frowning as well, she followed, until they reached the second floor. The moment they did, Yugi spun around.
“What is your problem?!” he demanded. Her eyes narrowed.
“Watch what you say, young man.”
“Why are you forcing Yami out?”
Hands on her hips, she said, “You think I’m going to just let him come back here after everything he’s done? Your father is coming home this evening, it will be difficult enough to explain why the shop help is living in our store room, much less explain why I’m letting a man who has disrupted your life as much as he has stay here.”
Yugi glared. “Yami hasn’t-”
“Ever since you met him things have been getting steadily worse.”
“He hasn’t done-”
“First you’re out late every day, the insanity of it, spending hours with a complete stranger. God knows what might have happened to you.”
“Nothing happened!” Yugi argued.
“And then you bring him home and lie to us about him, since when do you lie?”
“I was trying to protect-”
“Now you’re skipping school. You have never been a very devoted student but I know you did not skip school before meeting him!”
“I had to talk to him today to stop him from leaving, I didn’t have a choice!”
“Not to mention that when those men beat you up, he didn't even have the decency to stay here and take responsibility for what he did,” she said. “He just ups and leaves-”
“Mom, stop.” Yugi’s voice turned icy with anger for the second time that day. He was rather shocked at how many different fights he’d been in the last couple days. First the men, then arguing with Yami, now yelling at his own mother. He wasn’t sure what had come over him, only that he was sick and tired of everyone around him refusing to listen to him. “That was not Yami’s fault!”
“I-”
“No, listen to me!” Yugi snapped. “I chose to fight them, it was my idea! They would have let me go, I stayed, I said I wanted to fight. I wanted them to know they couldn’t intimidate me. In fact, I held my own pretty well in it. Yami had nothing to do with it. I chose to skip school to go and get him, that was my idea, he didn’t ask me to come. I stayed out late with him because I wanted to spend time with him. I told you before; I knew I could trust him. Lying to you about his past wasn’t the right thing to do, but I did it because I wanted him to have a home! And I knew you wouldn’t have let him stay if you met him knowing that he was homeless and his mother was in jail. I knew you’d be judgmental.”
“I am not-”
“And I was right, wasn’t I? You don’t even know him, you don’t know his mother. But because she did some jail time for some dumb mistakes she made out of desperation, you don’t even want to try to get to know her. And you clearly haven’t tried to get to know Yami; you’d rather just make your own assumptions about him, whether they're true or not!”
“Yugi,” she said, ignoring his tirade, or perhaps just waiting to address it later. “You might not be able to see it right now, but you need to trust me-”
“I’ve got no reason to trust you,” he returned, feeling some small spark of cruel victory at the hurt that crossed her face, but earning no pleasure from it. The acknowledgment of that fact actually hurt him as well. He’d always gotten along with his mother. The fact that she’d lied stung him.
“Yugi…”
“You lied to me, and to him.” He tightened his jaw, trying to avoid letting his voice shake. “Even though he was hurt you didn’t reassure him. You promised me you had and I trusted you, and because of that I wasn’t there to help him.”
“I’m trying to protect you.”
“You’re trying to protect me by sending away the person I love? Oh thank you, that makes perfect sense.”
She had found a way to mask whatever pain his words had brought, because her voice was steady as she asked, “What if he runs away again, Yugi? I’ve watched you sit here, depressed and guilt-ridden twice already because he’s unable to handle pressure.”
“He’s not going to run again, he told me-”
“Told you what? That things would be different this time?”
Yugi met her eyes. “Yes.”
She didn’t bother to hide her doubtful frown.
“Yami meant it! He’s changed, Mom-”
“How do you know?”
“He came back!”
“And what difference does that make? He came back before and he left again.”
“He was scared. Yeah he should have chosen not to leave but that’s easy for us to say, we haven’t gone through what he has!”
“Fine, then tell me this,” she said. “Did he want to come back, or did you make him?”
“What?”
“Today. Did he make the choice to come back on his own or did you have to talk him into it?”
Yugi faltered. “I…well, he was nervous, so obviously I had to convince him.”
She shook her head. “If he didn’t want to be here you should have let him go.”
“You don’t understand,” Yugi said.
“I understand fine, Yugi,” she said. “I understand that he’s still bitter and isn’t over his problems yet, and when he can’t deal with something he takes it out on you. Twice in the last few months I’ve seen you crying and miserable because he’s taken off. What’s going to happen this time? He claims he’s changed? People don’t change overnight and sometimes don’t change at all. If he didn’t want to come back, sooner or later he’ll flip out and he’ll run away and you’ll be left here alone again, heartbroken. And he won’t be here for you; he’ll be gone someplace where he doesn’t have to see the pain he’s putting you through. I’m not giving him a chance to hurt you a third time.”
“Mom…” Yugi felt his eyes sting, torn between feeling surprised and even reluctantly touched that she was trying to prevent him heartache, hurt at her blunt words, and afraid because what she’d said about Yami leaving again was something he was scared of too. “Mom, you don’t know that will happen.”
“It’s happened twice already.”
“He can change!” A note of desperate hope rang in his tone.
She looked back at him evenly. “Yes, he can. But we both know it’s not likely.”
“But it takes time…he’s been through so much, of course it will take awhile, but this time he really is-”
“Really is what? Really is ‘fixed?’ Really is ‘better?’ He might need help you can’t give him. You can’t heal him just by existing, Yugi, no matter how much you want to.”
“You’re acting like he’s some kind of psycho!” Yugi said, nearly in tears, hating the perfectly-true words she was saying. “You don’t know him, Mom!”
“And you do?”
“Yes, I do! I love him, and he loves me, and he would never, ever hurt me on purpose. I know that!”
“Maybe he won’t hurt you on purpose, but the fact remains that he is hurting you. You have got to take care of yourself first.”
“I’m not going to turn him out because of something so selfish!”
“Sometimes you have to be selfish, Yugi. If he’s making you unhappy-”
“I don’t care!” Yugi interrupted, silencing her. “Mom, can’t you see that I don’t care? I want to be with Yami, and if he freaks out and runs, I want to be the person who goes after him, and if he loses it, I want to be there to talk him down. I already know all this, Eve - Yami’s mother - she explained it to me. She told me it wouldn’t be easy. I’m prepared for that. Any pain you think you’re preventing me by making him leave is only a fraction of how much it would hurt to lose him. I appreciate that you want to protect me, but I don’t need it, I’m not a little kid. I want to be there, it’s my choice. And if you make him leave,” he continued fiercely, “if you force him to leave and won’t let him come back, then you’d might as well kick me out too, because I’m going with him.”
“Yugi!”
“Yami’s trying to change, he’s doing his best. Now please Mom…give him a chance. A real chance, without prejudice. Just one, okay? If he…does leave again, I won’t ask you to take him back in.”
She hesitated. Yugi waited, feeling that speaking now would only hinder negotiations.
For a long moment they stared at each other, until Mrs. Mutou finally said, “Your father is getting home in a few hours. I’ll discuss it with him tomorrow and see what he says. I need to speak with him about your relationship as it is.”
“But until then?”
“Until then…Yami can stay.”
“Thank you,” he replied as politely as he could and left the room, not waiting for her to rekindle the argument. He paused long enough to compose himself into what he hoped was a calm, cheerful expression. But downstairs, he found Yami conspicuously absent.
“Where’s Yami?” he asked his grandfather, confused.
“He went upstairs after you did, and he came down a few minutes ago looking upset,” he replied, also looking bewildered. “He’s outside.”
Heart sinking, Yugi rushed to the door and opened it to see Yami sitting on the front steps, a forlorn slump to his shoulders.
“Yami,” he said gently, sitting down beside him. “Grandpa said you followed me upstairs…?”
Yami looked over at him sadly. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh Yami.” Yugi bit his lip, not having anticipated this. The whole point of going upstairs to talk was to protect Yami from whatever unkind things his mother would say about him. “Listen…what my mother said-”
“Don’t try to make excuses. You know what she said is true.” He scuffed at the sidewalk. “I have run away. I have taken out my problems on you and then left so that I wouldn’t have to see you in pain. I’ve broken your heart twice because I couldn’t deal with everything. She was spot-on.”
“Yes Yami, but I understand that you weren’t trying to hurt me.” He reached for his hand. “Mom doesn’t get it, she doesn’t know you, she thinks you’re just taking advantage of me and doing it on purpose. She’s just judging you based on the past.”
Yami pulled his hand away. “I’m never going to be good enough for her, am I?”
“It doesn’t matter if you’re good enough for her, all that matters is if you’re good enough for me.”
“She’s got a point…I’ll never get better.” He sighed. “I mean, I thought…today at the bus stop, for a second it felt like it would work out this time. I thought maybe this was it, maybe this was the turning point, but hearing her, she’s right, people like me-”
“What do you mean, people like you? You’re human just like everybody else. You’re not some kind of freak. This could be a turning point if you want it to be.”
“But what if I don’t change? I told you, there’s something…”
Yugi tried again to take his hand. This time Yami let him, and Yugi squeezed his fingers gently. “You don’t have to force change. Just be yourself and you’ll see that things work out. I love you as you are, flaws and all. You love me and all my flaws, right?”
Finally, a tiny smile crossed his face and he nodded, but it vanished quickly as something else seemed to occur to him.
“So you talked to my mom, huh?” he asked.
“When I was looking for you, yeah.”
“What…did you talk about?”
Yugi frowned. Yami seemed nervous, but that didn’t make any sense. “I don’t know, you I guess. I told her about the fight and how you left and how I was worried about you, and she told me it wasn’t my fault, and I told her I wanted to be with you in spite of the bad things. That was basically it.”
“Oh.” The news didn’t seem to cheer him, though he did look a little less anxious. “Okay. I was just curious.”
Yugi smiled at him and pulled him to his feet. “Come on Yami, cheer up. For me, alright? I got Mom to agree to let you stay till Dad comes home. I’m starving, so let’s go get something to eat.”
Yami got up and followed him upstairs. Yugi made sure to hold his hand extra tightly.
- - -
Yugi called Eve that night to tell her what had happened.
“I knew you would be the one who would get his attention,” she said after hearing the story.
“Well it sure wasn’t easy.” Yugi laughed a little. “I had to yell quite a lot.”
“But he listened to you.”
“Eventually.”
“Proof of concept, he would never listen to anybody else, not even ‘eventually.’ And truth be told, he probably needed the yelling.”
“Do you really think he’s going to be okay? I mean…after that…attack and all? I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it myself yet, but I’m afraid he’ll dwell on it,” Yugi confided. They’d already made plans to pretend like Yami had been staying at Eve’s so that he would have an alibi for the attack if it became necessary to have one. They both knew the testimony of a family member would be near-worthless as evidence, but they had to have a story if worst came to worst. It was the best they could do.
“I don’t know, Yugi…we can only just wait now and see.”
“I guess…I just hope nothing bad happens, the police haven’t contacted us so that’s a good sign, but-” he stopped, hearing the water shut off. “Oh, I’ve got to go, Yami’s about to get out of the shower.”
“Thank you again, Yugi. Bye.”
“Bye,” Yugi hung up the phone and was waiting by the counter when Yami arrived in the room, dressed in his usual night clothes and with a towel around his hair.
“Hello Yugi…that shower was awfully refreshing.”
“I hope you saved me some hot water,” Yugi said.
“Of course I did.”
“I mean hot water that I won’t have to turn the knob all the way to the scalding side just so I can get a lukewarm shower.”
“Oh don’t be a wimp, a little cold water is healthy,” Yami said, his tone teasing. Yugi was thrilled to hear the hint of playfulness; it was the first time he’d sounded normal since he arrived.
“Oh yeah? In that case tomorrow I’ll take the first shower and you can deal with the lukewarm leftover water,” Yugi teased back.
“Fair enough,” Yami replied.
Through this whole exchange Yugi had been sniffing the air interestedly, trying to locate the source of a delicious new scent that had reached him. It was only now, as Yami walked by him to return downstairs to the stock room, that Yugi realized Yami was the source.
“Yami, what are you wearing?”
“Wearing?” Yami glanced at his clothes. “I wear these all the time.”
“No, I mean that cologne or whatever it is.”
“I’m not wearing any cologne.”
“Then what do I smell?”
“Are you saying I stink?” Yami asked indignantly.
“No! I mean…” Yugi sighed. “I don’t know, it’s like soap or perfume or something.”
“I washed my hair, could that be it?”
Yugi edged closer. “I didn’t know my shampoo smelled so good.”
Yami unwrapped his damp hair and shook it out. “I don’t know…smelled like regular shampoo to me.”
“Well on you it smells great.” Yugi slid over to his side, smiling mischievously. “In fact I think I’ll just stay right here so I can enjoy it.”
Yami grinned and pulled Yugi to his chest. “By all means, do. In fact, I’ll go wash my hair again if you’d like.”
“Only if you let me join you,” Yugi replied, mustering the most innocent look he could, although he couldn’t hide the glint in his eyes. Yami raised an eyebrow.
“That could be arranged.”
“So that I get some of the hot water for once,” Yugi elaborated.
“Oh I see how it is, you’re just after my hot water.”
“Yours? Don’t forget whose house you’re living in!”
Yami laughed. It was such a wonderful sound. Yugi burrowed against his chest, (which, incidentally, also smelled great.)
“Yami…?”
“Hmn?” Yami’s hands were on his back, caressing all of Yugi’s favorite spots, enticing a small purr.
“…Nothing.” Yugi smiled and closed his eyes. Talking would ruin the moment. He didn’t need to say anything.
“Excuse me.” A third voice joined in, and they both turned around to see Yugi’s father, Kazuki Mutou. He had returned earlier, and although rather bemused to discover they’d opened the house to the new shop help, had said nothing openly against Yami living there. Yugi wasn’t sure if his mother had discussed anything with him yet, but he seemed remarkably unsurprised to find them standing there hugging, leading Yugi to assume someone must have filled him in. He let no sign of approval or disgust into his expression, however. “I need to get to the refrigerator.”
“Sorry Dad.” Yugi smoothly, albeit regretfully, detached himself from Yami and stepped aside. As soon as his father had the refrigerator door open and they were blocked from his view, Yugi gave Yami’s lower lip a quick nip.
Yami returned the fast kiss just in time, and slipped out of the room to go to bed.
Out of Yugi’s sight, the happiness faded fast. He had done his best to cheer up, as Yugi had requested, but when left to his own thoughts he quickly lost his optimism. By the time he reached his room, the warmth of Yugi's hug had worn off. Yami flopped down on his bed and lay awake, feeling increasingly anxious.
Yugi said this could be a turning point. How can it be when I’m not better? I’m just getting worse. He just can’t see it, he insists…he believes I’ll get better.
He rolled onto his side, hiding his face, not sure what he was hiding it from. Hope seemed possible in the light, around others, where he was protected. But in the dark, where nothing padded the truth, it was ridiculous.
He had made mistakes, and was losing it, and Yugi’s family knew it. How much longer, he wondered, before Yugi realizes they're right?
He wasn’t the only one lying awake. Yugi was staring up at his ceiling at the same moment, slowly bunching up the blankets in his hands. He thought about his phone call with Eve, the two of them creating an alibi, hoping that the police wouldn’t suspect Yami.
He’d always thought his sense of justice was sound. He advocated forgiveness, but even he had limits. Now, people had been hurt, and someone had died, and here he was, protecting the murderer out of his own free will.
They were bad people, he thought. They deserved what they got.
He closed his eyes and told himself he believed it.
X - X - X
Notes: Yeah, I named Yugi’s dad Kazuki. What the heck, it makes sense! His mom doesn’t have a name, and will continue to not have one if I can get away with it. I’ve heard some possibilities of what her canon name is supposed to be, but I can’t be sure. And every name I choose for her sounds dorky. Speaking of his mother, I'm hoping this gave a little more insight into her. Maybe she'll receive less death threats after this. xD; She's not a bad person. She's just willing to be a hardass if she has to when it comes to protecting Yugi.
This is both a celebratory post (yay White Day!) and a heal-the-pain post, (gahhh, Daylight Savings Time. T_T)