[fic] Just Don't Look Back, Chapter 08 - Yugioh, YamixYugi, angst/romance, R, AU
Title: Just Don't Look Back
Chapter: 08
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Rating: R
Genre: Angst/romance
Pairing: YamixYugi
Archive: Here
Overall warnings: AU, implied sex, insanity, violence
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Before he met Yugi, Yami spent his days panhandling alone. Yugi put his heart into changing Yami’s life, giving him companionship, a home and his love. But even he can’t save Yami from the control of his past, nor the dark path he is set upon.
Disclaimer: Yugioh continues to not belong to me.
- 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06 - 07 -
---
Yami stood, wincing at the sound of a loud clang from behind the door separating the lobby and the prison. The door opened, and a middle-aged woman stepped out, followed by a guard. She brightened instantly. “Yami!”
“Hi Mom,” he said, forcing a smile back. She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly.
“Yami, I’m so happy to see you,” she said, unashamed of the tears in her eyes. She was free, and she could see her son again. Yami thought he would be sharing in the tears of happiness, but even now he was finding it hard to smile.
“Do you…I mean, is there anything you need to get before leaving?” he finally asked. She held up a thick envelope.
“I have all the paperwork here. The clerk explained everything to me earlier.”
As she spoke, Yami studied his mother, noting the increase of age and stress lines in her face. Her long, black hair had new streaks of gray that he hadn’t seen before. However, her eyes, which were brown, remained the same as they always had. Gentle, calm, matter-of-fact, they never shifted. If one thing could be said for Eve Atemu, she was not the kind of person to fall apart. Everything about her gave the impression of comfort and steadiness.
And yet now, when Yami thought of comfort, he thought of Yugi.
It should have been so easy to tell himself that Yugi never loved him and to live with the anger, but he couldn’t. And far from anger, all he felt was pain in his heart. He’d have gladly traded it for the anger, which couldn’t hurt nearly this much, if only he was able.
“Yami? Ready to go?”
“Oh…yeah, sorry.” Yami followed her out the door.
Outside, she smiled broadly and put one arm around his shoulders as they walked, saying, “I think you’ve gotten taller.”
Yami smiled a little. “Well, my jeans did get shorter. That height had to come from somewhere.”
“So, tell me about everything that’s been going on.”
“Well, er, I’m jobless again.”
“Why? What happened?” She looked concerned, noticing the sudden change in his tone, and knowing in the way that parents often do that she wasn’t getting the full story.
“I quit. They weren’t the kind of people I thought they were,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“Yugi didn’t tell them my whole story, and I only found out yesterday. I thought all along that they knew the truth and liked me anyway, but turns out they didn’t. It was all an illusion. We all said some unkind things, and I left.” Yami shook his head, striving to brush it off. “But anyway, it’ll be alright, I have a lot of money saved. If even just one of us can find a job, we could afford the starting lease on an apartment really soon…and you told me a month ago about the rehabilitation agencies that the officers were saying you should contact-”
“Yami.”
“Huh?”
“Who is Yugi?” For she had also noticed the change in his voice when he said Yugi’s name.
“The…the person I told you about, the one who helped me out. He was…different. He didn’t treat me badly, he wasn’t bothered when I told him about you and about my problems. He didn’t pity me, he just…cared about me. At least, that’s what I believed until yesterday, when I found out he lied about who I was to his family, because he thought they would ‘like me more’ if they didn’t know my past.”
She heard bitterness come into his voice. She had never heard a tone quite like this come from him before. As hard as he was trying to hide it, she could tell that this person, Yugi, had managed to wound him somehow. Simply lying couldn’t have been the only thing that happened.
“Yami, are you okay?”
Yami closed his eyes for a moment and waited for the tears that had begun to collect there at the thought of Yugi to go away, and then he smiled at her. “Of course I am. I’m sorry, I’m kind of tired and I’m just…overwhelmed. I’m so glad to see you.”
“I’m happy too, Yami. I’m never going to do those things and let us be torn apart again.” She hugged him again, and though he hugged her back, she felt the stiffness in his shoulders. She wanted to chalk it down to stress, but knew that wasn’t it. Her son was clearly deeply unhappy about something.
They got lunch and sat down in the park to eat, admiring the scenery and talking about everything except the last few months of Yami’s life. Yami was starting to feel better about things, when his mother pointed at his jeans’ pocket and said, “Your handkerchief is about to fall out.”
Yami quickly reached down, pulled out the handkerchief and started folding it into a tight square so it would stay in the pocket better.
“What’s this stain?”
“Nothing, it’s nothing-”
“It looks like blood. Yami, were you hurt?”
“It was only a scratch on my arm, Yugi tied this around it before I could stop him-” Yami stopped, realizing whose name he’d said. He started folding faster.
Eve Atemu was not an unobservant woman. And within the last hour she had seen her son react incredibly strangely at any mention of this boy called Yugi. She folded her arms.
“Yami, I know there’s something about Yugi that you’re not telling me.”
“No, there’s nothing.”
“Yami.”
Yami sighed and tucked the handkerchief back into his pocket before folding his hands. “Okay, fine. I…Yugi and I…we were dating. I lo- I really…cared about him.”
Her face softened quickly. She knew that Yami had spent years building up walls around his heart. To hear him say that he had grown to let someone - anyone, regardless of gender - in was like a dream come true for her. Although, honestly, the fact that Yami had chosen another man wasn’t too much of a shock, knowing what she did about Yami’s past. He hadn’t had to come right out and say anything for her to have suspicions. “Oh, Yami…”
“But it’s over now, so it doesn’t really matter.”
The past-tense didn’t fool her. “But you care about him still?”
Yami gazed at his hand. The scar Yugi had traced one time in the store seemed more obvious than ever in the midst of the others. He could almost feel Yugi’s touch right then. “Yeah, I do.”
“And he loves you?”
“I thought he did.” Yami paused, then shook his head. “Oh who am I kidding?” He swallowed. “He did love me…he loves me too. Stupid…”
“It’s not stupid.”
“Not that it matters, I told you, it’s over anyway.”
“How is it over if you still love him and he still loves you?”
“It’s over because I am never going back. He’s ashamed of me!” Yami swiped tears from his eyes. “I’m not going back, there’s no point. Besides, I’m just eighteen, Mom. And Yugi’s only sixteen. He has the whole rest of his life ahead of him, and he’s got places to go that, let’s face it, I’m never going to make it to. If I stayed with him I would have been holding him back anyway-”
“Now you’re just changing the subject.”
“No, I’m not! He’s from a decent middle class family, and I’m-”
“Also from a decent middle class family.”
Yami growled in frustration. “Maybe once upon a time, not anymore. I have almost no money, no home…what do I have that I can offer him? A life of dealing with my problems?”
“You’re completely avoiding the subject.”
“I’m just saying, that’s a reason it’s good that it’s over. I won’t be holding Yugi back anymore.”
“I seriously doubt you were ever holding him back,” she said.
“You don’t…I mean…look, it’s over between us, and trying to pretend otherwise is pointless! We don’t hide from things, remember?”
“Yes, you and your pride, your excuse for your need to run…”
He frowned slightly. “I’m not running.”
“Sometimes I wondered if it was really worth it,” she mused, acting as if he hadn’t spoken.
“Mom,” he began, exasperated.
“Yami, pride is important, I agree. But when I was stealing, and when I was selling myself…it was the last thing on my mind.”
“You don’t need to bring that up.”
“Why?”
“Because those are bad memories, and-” Yami stopped, realizing he was saying almost the exact same thing Yugi had once said to him.
“But they happened. And we can’t let our lives be controlled by memories.” She gave him a look. Yami looked away, not answering, pretending not to hear the last sentence.
She sighed. “Maybe I’m wrong. Only you know what this is really about, maybe it is something reasonable. But, on the off-chance that you’re just running scared, you should know that when I was stealing and when I was selling myself, it was for something that was more important than pride or fear or anything else to me. What do you think that was?”
“Well…you told me that you did it for me,” Yami said quietly.
“Yes, I did,” she said. “I did it for you, because I wanted you to have a better life, even if it was at the expense of mine.”
“So you put aside fear to help me. Because…you love me?”
“Exactly.”
At last Yami understood where she was going with her story.
- - -
Five days later, Yugi was walking home from school, staring at the sidewalk as he did. Five days since he last saw Yami. He kept hoping that maybe Yami would come back to work, or that he would see him again somewhere, but he hadn’t. The logical explanation was that Yami and his mother had probably already left the area, maybe even left the city.
That didn’t stop Yugi from hoping.
Still, five days, he was starting to accept that it was over. He had hurt Yami. What else could he do but leave? There was no reason why he should stay after what Yugi had done. He had never wanted to lie about Yami to his parents, but he had wanted so badly to help him out that he had thought the lies made sense. He knew Yami trusted him, but he didn’t think the lies were really breaking Yami’s trust; he thought making sure that his family would welcome Yami would be a good thing.
He’d never stopped to think how he would feel if he was in Yami’s place. Because it was true, if he’d known that the person he loved was afraid to tell his family his true story…and had lied about him…he would be upset too.
Jounouchi had been right; forcing help on him had backfired in the worst of ways.
Yugi sighed and as he neared the Game Shop he steadied himself. He allowed himself a private weak moment during his walks or at night when he was alone in his room, but during the rest of the day he was determined to appear calm and normal.
Maybe a little bit of Yami rubbed off on me, he thought wryly, remembering how Yami always strove to seem so calm, except around Yugi when he would let his guard down. Maybe he was turning into that now too.
With a deep breath, he started walking again.
Then he heard a voice call his name. A soft, rumbling voice that he knew all too well.
“Yugi.”
That was all that was said, but the voice still managed to stop Yugi in his tracks and he looked up towards the bench that stood on the sidewalk not far from the Shop.
And saw someone standing beside it.
Someone with very familiar hair.
And familiar clothes.
And familiar eyes, those beautiful familiar eyes that never held the same hue for more than a few moments, they were really his…
Staying calm was no longer an option.
“Yami!” Yugi’s arms were around him before he could think, before he could even realize that he had moved from where he was standing before to embrace him.
Yami put his arms gently around Yugi’s neck, as his backpack was in the way of his back. “Hi Yugi.”
“Yami, why are you here?” Yugi shrugged out of his backpack and reached for Yami’s hands. Yami allowed him to take them. He glanced around. “Where’s your mother?”
“Well, she’s getting settled in her new apartment.”
“You got an apartment? Yami, that’s great!” he said, beaming.
Yami shook his head. “No, she got an apartment. She got a job at a grocery store…it doesn’t pay great, but it was enough, added to my money and some help from social services. Thing is, it’s in a building reserved for rehabilitating women. I’m a minor, so I could live with her, but I’ve decided not to.”
“Then what are you going to do?” Yugi asked, confused. “Where are you staying?”
“Well, that’s sort of undecided right now.”
“What do you mean?”
Yami bit his lip. “Yugi, I’m sorry about the things I said before. About accusing you of…well, everything.”
“Yami, that has nothing to do with what I asked you-”
“Yes, it does. I’m getting to that, but this needs to be said first. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not okay, it’s not okay because I made the same mistake twice and that’s a stupid thing to do.”
“Mistake?”
“I tried to back out once. You remember. When you first got me the job at the Shop, and I made all kinds of excuses, accused you of pitying me…all just to hide from the fact that I was scared to take a chance.”
“Yami, I don’t understand.”
“I made that mistake again. Except this time I did something worse. I just flat out screwed up, I didn’t give you a chance to explain yourself or…” He looked into his eyes desperately. “I got scared. It always seemed too good to be true, meeting you, and finding out you cared about me as much as I cared about you. I was just waiting for the day it all fell apart. So when I thought you were ashamed of me, I just flipped out.”
“But I hurt you, so of course you ‘flipped out.’ Yami, I made a horrible mistake too, I didn’t give you the respect you deserved…and then with what my mother was saying, it’s no surprise you got upset, I’m still mad at her for it.”
“Upset at her, I have an excuse for. Being upset at you…I have none that matter now.” He suddenly hugged Yugi tightly against him, running his fingers through his hair. “You mean so much to me, Yugi. I thought losing you was inevitable, but I didn’t want to. I never want to.”
Yugi shivered slightly at the feeling of Yami’s gentle fingers in his hair, and snuggled close against him. “Yami, I know you have no obligation to believe me…but I truly do love you,” he whispered against him. “Nothing I did or thought or said…ever changed that.”
“I believe you.”
“You do?”
“I always have. I…I always have, Yugi.”
Without a word, Yugi lifted his head and pressed his lips almost desperately to Yami’s. Yami’s eyes closed and he parted his lips without thought, allowing Yugi entrance.
Breaking it, they looked at each other and laughed a little nervously, which turned into real laughter as they realized how nervous they both were.
“So, you never did answer my question about where you’re living now.” Yugi finally said as he and Yami just stood there holding hands for a moment in content silence.
“Ah…well…I was kind of hoping that you guys still had room for me in your store room,” Yami said.
“You want to come back to work for us?”
“If I’m allowed.”
“If you’re allowed? My grandfather has ranted for days at me and my mom for running off, I quote, ‘the best worker he ever had.’ He’ll be thrilled to have you back.”
“Will your mother be thrilled?”
“Probably not so much.” Yugi looked a little nervous. “I don’t think she can say anything about the job, but living there…I don’t really know if she’ll let you. She…didn’t really like the idea of…us. My father isn’t going to be all that thrilled about it either if he finds out. I think maybe, over time, she could get used to the idea, but right now I doubt she’ll let you back into the house.”
Yami lowered his eyes. “Do you think it’s worth asking? Maybe I’d be better off finding a place to work somewhere else, and meeting you after school again.”
“No, don’t let her run you off,” Yugi said. “I like having you work here. Come on, let’s go talk to Grandpa, he’ll be happy to see you.” He pulled him toward the shop door, calling out as they entered, “Grandpa, I brought your favorite worker back! His mother got an apartment and somebody needs to help pay the bills.”
Yugi’s grandfather, at least, seemed pleased to see him and perfectly happy to give him his job back, muttering, "Oh thank God," under his breath with audible relief.
“Yami also needs a place to stay,” Yugi added, since it seemed like Yami might be backing out on asking.
“I don’t mind if he wants to stay,” Sugoroku said. "I'd prefer that he did, since part of our agreement was to provide security, but your mother…she wasn’t very pleased about learning you two were…”
“Yeah, I know.” Yugi fell silent. Yami was studying the floor.
“What’s going on down here?” A new voice joined in as Mrs. Mutou descended the stairs.
“Hi Mom.” Yugi quickly took a step away from Yami.
“I see you’re back, Yami.” She ignored everyone else for the moment, clearly he was the person she was most interested in.
“I came to ask for my job back.”
“Which I agreed to,” Suguroku spoke up.
“Well I can’t argue with any choice involving the Shop,” she said. “However I do have a say over who lives in this house.”
“I need a place to live,” Yami said, meeting her eyes. “If I stay at my mom’s, I’m going to cost her money. I can’t afford somewhere of my own right now. I’ll abide by any rules you set.”
She paused, then shook her head. “No.”
Yugi opened his mouth to speak, and then noticed Yami very slowly lifting one hand a few inches, as if warning him to stay silent.
“Is there any way I can change your mind?” Yami asked, not breaking eye-contact with Yugi’s mother.
“No, I’m sorry.”
“What if I swear I won’t talk to Yugi?”
“What?” Yugi asked. Mrs. Mutou interrupted him.
“Go on,” she said.
“If you let me stay I swear I will not talk to Yugi. I won’t spend time with him unless you approve. I won’t say anything to him except perhaps ‘hello.’ I won’t come upstairs at all except to use the bathroom and shower. The relationship will be completely over. Just please, let me stay until I can find my own place. It’s this or the street and I would like a roof over my head for the winter.”
Yugi opened his mouth to object, until he noticed that his mother seemed to be thinking the offer over.
“Fine,” she said after a distressingly long pause. “But I’ll be monitoring you. One step out of line and you leave.”
“That seems fair,” Yami said, his tone just as crisp.
She gave him a long, suspicious look and then walked back upstairs. Yugi opened his mouth again, but Yami spoke first, quietly.
“It’s the way it has to be. This way, I can stay here. We can at least still see each other…that’s good, right?”
Yugi could see in his eyes that he wanted reassurance that he’d done the right thing.
“Yeah,” he said. “It’s good.” He took his hand for a moment, squeezed it reassuringly, and turned to trudge upstairs.
X - X - X
Notes: Here's a somewhat mild chapter...it was either this or something far more angsty to end 2009 on, so I went with this. xD
Yami's mother is named Eve...there's really no significance, religious or otherwise, behind the choice, I just really wanted to give her a single-syllable name and Eve seemed pretty. Plus I was reading a lot of the manga Black Cat at the time...
Turns out Japan’s age of majority is still 20. I didn’t know that until I checked the laws for this chapter. (Since I’d been planning to use Yami not being a minor anymore as my reasoning for him moving back in…) You really do learn something new every day!
Here's to a fruitful year of fanfiction in 2010! *raises a glass of apple cider* Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart for your support, comments, jokes, and reviews this year. It means more to me than you might know. When I toast my blessings, I toast you as well. Cheers!
Chapter: 08
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Rating: R
Genre: Angst/romance
Pairing: YamixYugi
Archive: Here
Overall warnings: AU, implied sex, insanity, violence
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Before he met Yugi, Yami spent his days panhandling alone. Yugi put his heart into changing Yami’s life, giving him companionship, a home and his love. But even he can’t save Yami from the control of his past, nor the dark path he is set upon.
Disclaimer: Yugioh continues to not belong to me.
- 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06 - 07 -
---
Yami stood, wincing at the sound of a loud clang from behind the door separating the lobby and the prison. The door opened, and a middle-aged woman stepped out, followed by a guard. She brightened instantly. “Yami!”
“Hi Mom,” he said, forcing a smile back. She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly.
“Yami, I’m so happy to see you,” she said, unashamed of the tears in her eyes. She was free, and she could see her son again. Yami thought he would be sharing in the tears of happiness, but even now he was finding it hard to smile.
“Do you…I mean, is there anything you need to get before leaving?” he finally asked. She held up a thick envelope.
“I have all the paperwork here. The clerk explained everything to me earlier.”
As she spoke, Yami studied his mother, noting the increase of age and stress lines in her face. Her long, black hair had new streaks of gray that he hadn’t seen before. However, her eyes, which were brown, remained the same as they always had. Gentle, calm, matter-of-fact, they never shifted. If one thing could be said for Eve Atemu, she was not the kind of person to fall apart. Everything about her gave the impression of comfort and steadiness.
And yet now, when Yami thought of comfort, he thought of Yugi.
It should have been so easy to tell himself that Yugi never loved him and to live with the anger, but he couldn’t. And far from anger, all he felt was pain in his heart. He’d have gladly traded it for the anger, which couldn’t hurt nearly this much, if only he was able.
“Yami? Ready to go?”
“Oh…yeah, sorry.” Yami followed her out the door.
Outside, she smiled broadly and put one arm around his shoulders as they walked, saying, “I think you’ve gotten taller.”
Yami smiled a little. “Well, my jeans did get shorter. That height had to come from somewhere.”
“So, tell me about everything that’s been going on.”
“Well, er, I’m jobless again.”
“Why? What happened?” She looked concerned, noticing the sudden change in his tone, and knowing in the way that parents often do that she wasn’t getting the full story.
“I quit. They weren’t the kind of people I thought they were,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“Yugi didn’t tell them my whole story, and I only found out yesterday. I thought all along that they knew the truth and liked me anyway, but turns out they didn’t. It was all an illusion. We all said some unkind things, and I left.” Yami shook his head, striving to brush it off. “But anyway, it’ll be alright, I have a lot of money saved. If even just one of us can find a job, we could afford the starting lease on an apartment really soon…and you told me a month ago about the rehabilitation agencies that the officers were saying you should contact-”
“Yami.”
“Huh?”
“Who is Yugi?” For she had also noticed the change in his voice when he said Yugi’s name.
“The…the person I told you about, the one who helped me out. He was…different. He didn’t treat me badly, he wasn’t bothered when I told him about you and about my problems. He didn’t pity me, he just…cared about me. At least, that’s what I believed until yesterday, when I found out he lied about who I was to his family, because he thought they would ‘like me more’ if they didn’t know my past.”
She heard bitterness come into his voice. She had never heard a tone quite like this come from him before. As hard as he was trying to hide it, she could tell that this person, Yugi, had managed to wound him somehow. Simply lying couldn’t have been the only thing that happened.
“Yami, are you okay?”
Yami closed his eyes for a moment and waited for the tears that had begun to collect there at the thought of Yugi to go away, and then he smiled at her. “Of course I am. I’m sorry, I’m kind of tired and I’m just…overwhelmed. I’m so glad to see you.”
“I’m happy too, Yami. I’m never going to do those things and let us be torn apart again.” She hugged him again, and though he hugged her back, she felt the stiffness in his shoulders. She wanted to chalk it down to stress, but knew that wasn’t it. Her son was clearly deeply unhappy about something.
They got lunch and sat down in the park to eat, admiring the scenery and talking about everything except the last few months of Yami’s life. Yami was starting to feel better about things, when his mother pointed at his jeans’ pocket and said, “Your handkerchief is about to fall out.”
Yami quickly reached down, pulled out the handkerchief and started folding it into a tight square so it would stay in the pocket better.
“What’s this stain?”
“Nothing, it’s nothing-”
“It looks like blood. Yami, were you hurt?”
“It was only a scratch on my arm, Yugi tied this around it before I could stop him-” Yami stopped, realizing whose name he’d said. He started folding faster.
Eve Atemu was not an unobservant woman. And within the last hour she had seen her son react incredibly strangely at any mention of this boy called Yugi. She folded her arms.
“Yami, I know there’s something about Yugi that you’re not telling me.”
“No, there’s nothing.”
“Yami.”
Yami sighed and tucked the handkerchief back into his pocket before folding his hands. “Okay, fine. I…Yugi and I…we were dating. I lo- I really…cared about him.”
Her face softened quickly. She knew that Yami had spent years building up walls around his heart. To hear him say that he had grown to let someone - anyone, regardless of gender - in was like a dream come true for her. Although, honestly, the fact that Yami had chosen another man wasn’t too much of a shock, knowing what she did about Yami’s past. He hadn’t had to come right out and say anything for her to have suspicions. “Oh, Yami…”
“But it’s over now, so it doesn’t really matter.”
The past-tense didn’t fool her. “But you care about him still?”
Yami gazed at his hand. The scar Yugi had traced one time in the store seemed more obvious than ever in the midst of the others. He could almost feel Yugi’s touch right then. “Yeah, I do.”
“And he loves you?”
“I thought he did.” Yami paused, then shook his head. “Oh who am I kidding?” He swallowed. “He did love me…he loves me too. Stupid…”
“It’s not stupid.”
“Not that it matters, I told you, it’s over anyway.”
“How is it over if you still love him and he still loves you?”
“It’s over because I am never going back. He’s ashamed of me!” Yami swiped tears from his eyes. “I’m not going back, there’s no point. Besides, I’m just eighteen, Mom. And Yugi’s only sixteen. He has the whole rest of his life ahead of him, and he’s got places to go that, let’s face it, I’m never going to make it to. If I stayed with him I would have been holding him back anyway-”
“Now you’re just changing the subject.”
“No, I’m not! He’s from a decent middle class family, and I’m-”
“Also from a decent middle class family.”
Yami growled in frustration. “Maybe once upon a time, not anymore. I have almost no money, no home…what do I have that I can offer him? A life of dealing with my problems?”
“You’re completely avoiding the subject.”
“I’m just saying, that’s a reason it’s good that it’s over. I won’t be holding Yugi back anymore.”
“I seriously doubt you were ever holding him back,” she said.
“You don’t…I mean…look, it’s over between us, and trying to pretend otherwise is pointless! We don’t hide from things, remember?”
“Yes, you and your pride, your excuse for your need to run…”
He frowned slightly. “I’m not running.”
“Sometimes I wondered if it was really worth it,” she mused, acting as if he hadn’t spoken.
“Mom,” he began, exasperated.
“Yami, pride is important, I agree. But when I was stealing, and when I was selling myself…it was the last thing on my mind.”
“You don’t need to bring that up.”
“Why?”
“Because those are bad memories, and-” Yami stopped, realizing he was saying almost the exact same thing Yugi had once said to him.
“But they happened. And we can’t let our lives be controlled by memories.” She gave him a look. Yami looked away, not answering, pretending not to hear the last sentence.
She sighed. “Maybe I’m wrong. Only you know what this is really about, maybe it is something reasonable. But, on the off-chance that you’re just running scared, you should know that when I was stealing and when I was selling myself, it was for something that was more important than pride or fear or anything else to me. What do you think that was?”
“Well…you told me that you did it for me,” Yami said quietly.
“Yes, I did,” she said. “I did it for you, because I wanted you to have a better life, even if it was at the expense of mine.”
“So you put aside fear to help me. Because…you love me?”
“Exactly.”
At last Yami understood where she was going with her story.
- - -
Five days later, Yugi was walking home from school, staring at the sidewalk as he did. Five days since he last saw Yami. He kept hoping that maybe Yami would come back to work, or that he would see him again somewhere, but he hadn’t. The logical explanation was that Yami and his mother had probably already left the area, maybe even left the city.
That didn’t stop Yugi from hoping.
Still, five days, he was starting to accept that it was over. He had hurt Yami. What else could he do but leave? There was no reason why he should stay after what Yugi had done. He had never wanted to lie about Yami to his parents, but he had wanted so badly to help him out that he had thought the lies made sense. He knew Yami trusted him, but he didn’t think the lies were really breaking Yami’s trust; he thought making sure that his family would welcome Yami would be a good thing.
He’d never stopped to think how he would feel if he was in Yami’s place. Because it was true, if he’d known that the person he loved was afraid to tell his family his true story…and had lied about him…he would be upset too.
Jounouchi had been right; forcing help on him had backfired in the worst of ways.
Yugi sighed and as he neared the Game Shop he steadied himself. He allowed himself a private weak moment during his walks or at night when he was alone in his room, but during the rest of the day he was determined to appear calm and normal.
Maybe a little bit of Yami rubbed off on me, he thought wryly, remembering how Yami always strove to seem so calm, except around Yugi when he would let his guard down. Maybe he was turning into that now too.
With a deep breath, he started walking again.
Then he heard a voice call his name. A soft, rumbling voice that he knew all too well.
“Yugi.”
That was all that was said, but the voice still managed to stop Yugi in his tracks and he looked up towards the bench that stood on the sidewalk not far from the Shop.
And saw someone standing beside it.
Someone with very familiar hair.
And familiar clothes.
And familiar eyes, those beautiful familiar eyes that never held the same hue for more than a few moments, they were really his…
Staying calm was no longer an option.
“Yami!” Yugi’s arms were around him before he could think, before he could even realize that he had moved from where he was standing before to embrace him.
Yami put his arms gently around Yugi’s neck, as his backpack was in the way of his back. “Hi Yugi.”
“Yami, why are you here?” Yugi shrugged out of his backpack and reached for Yami’s hands. Yami allowed him to take them. He glanced around. “Where’s your mother?”
“Well, she’s getting settled in her new apartment.”
“You got an apartment? Yami, that’s great!” he said, beaming.
Yami shook his head. “No, she got an apartment. She got a job at a grocery store…it doesn’t pay great, but it was enough, added to my money and some help from social services. Thing is, it’s in a building reserved for rehabilitating women. I’m a minor, so I could live with her, but I’ve decided not to.”
“Then what are you going to do?” Yugi asked, confused. “Where are you staying?”
“Well, that’s sort of undecided right now.”
“What do you mean?”
Yami bit his lip. “Yugi, I’m sorry about the things I said before. About accusing you of…well, everything.”
“Yami, that has nothing to do with what I asked you-”
“Yes, it does. I’m getting to that, but this needs to be said first. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not okay, it’s not okay because I made the same mistake twice and that’s a stupid thing to do.”
“Mistake?”
“I tried to back out once. You remember. When you first got me the job at the Shop, and I made all kinds of excuses, accused you of pitying me…all just to hide from the fact that I was scared to take a chance.”
“Yami, I don’t understand.”
“I made that mistake again. Except this time I did something worse. I just flat out screwed up, I didn’t give you a chance to explain yourself or…” He looked into his eyes desperately. “I got scared. It always seemed too good to be true, meeting you, and finding out you cared about me as much as I cared about you. I was just waiting for the day it all fell apart. So when I thought you were ashamed of me, I just flipped out.”
“But I hurt you, so of course you ‘flipped out.’ Yami, I made a horrible mistake too, I didn’t give you the respect you deserved…and then with what my mother was saying, it’s no surprise you got upset, I’m still mad at her for it.”
“Upset at her, I have an excuse for. Being upset at you…I have none that matter now.” He suddenly hugged Yugi tightly against him, running his fingers through his hair. “You mean so much to me, Yugi. I thought losing you was inevitable, but I didn’t want to. I never want to.”
Yugi shivered slightly at the feeling of Yami’s gentle fingers in his hair, and snuggled close against him. “Yami, I know you have no obligation to believe me…but I truly do love you,” he whispered against him. “Nothing I did or thought or said…ever changed that.”
“I believe you.”
“You do?”
“I always have. I…I always have, Yugi.”
Without a word, Yugi lifted his head and pressed his lips almost desperately to Yami’s. Yami’s eyes closed and he parted his lips without thought, allowing Yugi entrance.
Breaking it, they looked at each other and laughed a little nervously, which turned into real laughter as they realized how nervous they both were.
“So, you never did answer my question about where you’re living now.” Yugi finally said as he and Yami just stood there holding hands for a moment in content silence.
“Ah…well…I was kind of hoping that you guys still had room for me in your store room,” Yami said.
“You want to come back to work for us?”
“If I’m allowed.”
“If you’re allowed? My grandfather has ranted for days at me and my mom for running off, I quote, ‘the best worker he ever had.’ He’ll be thrilled to have you back.”
“Will your mother be thrilled?”
“Probably not so much.” Yugi looked a little nervous. “I don’t think she can say anything about the job, but living there…I don’t really know if she’ll let you. She…didn’t really like the idea of…us. My father isn’t going to be all that thrilled about it either if he finds out. I think maybe, over time, she could get used to the idea, but right now I doubt she’ll let you back into the house.”
Yami lowered his eyes. “Do you think it’s worth asking? Maybe I’d be better off finding a place to work somewhere else, and meeting you after school again.”
“No, don’t let her run you off,” Yugi said. “I like having you work here. Come on, let’s go talk to Grandpa, he’ll be happy to see you.” He pulled him toward the shop door, calling out as they entered, “Grandpa, I brought your favorite worker back! His mother got an apartment and somebody needs to help pay the bills.”
Yugi’s grandfather, at least, seemed pleased to see him and perfectly happy to give him his job back, muttering, "Oh thank God," under his breath with audible relief.
“Yami also needs a place to stay,” Yugi added, since it seemed like Yami might be backing out on asking.
“I don’t mind if he wants to stay,” Sugoroku said. "I'd prefer that he did, since part of our agreement was to provide security, but your mother…she wasn’t very pleased about learning you two were…”
“Yeah, I know.” Yugi fell silent. Yami was studying the floor.
“What’s going on down here?” A new voice joined in as Mrs. Mutou descended the stairs.
“Hi Mom.” Yugi quickly took a step away from Yami.
“I see you’re back, Yami.” She ignored everyone else for the moment, clearly he was the person she was most interested in.
“I came to ask for my job back.”
“Which I agreed to,” Suguroku spoke up.
“Well I can’t argue with any choice involving the Shop,” she said. “However I do have a say over who lives in this house.”
“I need a place to live,” Yami said, meeting her eyes. “If I stay at my mom’s, I’m going to cost her money. I can’t afford somewhere of my own right now. I’ll abide by any rules you set.”
She paused, then shook her head. “No.”
Yugi opened his mouth to speak, and then noticed Yami very slowly lifting one hand a few inches, as if warning him to stay silent.
“Is there any way I can change your mind?” Yami asked, not breaking eye-contact with Yugi’s mother.
“No, I’m sorry.”
“What if I swear I won’t talk to Yugi?”
“What?” Yugi asked. Mrs. Mutou interrupted him.
“Go on,” she said.
“If you let me stay I swear I will not talk to Yugi. I won’t spend time with him unless you approve. I won’t say anything to him except perhaps ‘hello.’ I won’t come upstairs at all except to use the bathroom and shower. The relationship will be completely over. Just please, let me stay until I can find my own place. It’s this or the street and I would like a roof over my head for the winter.”
Yugi opened his mouth to object, until he noticed that his mother seemed to be thinking the offer over.
“Fine,” she said after a distressingly long pause. “But I’ll be monitoring you. One step out of line and you leave.”
“That seems fair,” Yami said, his tone just as crisp.
She gave him a long, suspicious look and then walked back upstairs. Yugi opened his mouth again, but Yami spoke first, quietly.
“It’s the way it has to be. This way, I can stay here. We can at least still see each other…that’s good, right?”
Yugi could see in his eyes that he wanted reassurance that he’d done the right thing.
“Yeah,” he said. “It’s good.” He took his hand for a moment, squeezed it reassuringly, and turned to trudge upstairs.
X - X - X
Notes: Here's a somewhat mild chapter...it was either this or something far more angsty to end 2009 on, so I went with this. xD
Yami's mother is named Eve...there's really no significance, religious or otherwise, behind the choice, I just really wanted to give her a single-syllable name and Eve seemed pretty. Plus I was reading a lot of the manga Black Cat at the time...
Turns out Japan’s age of majority is still 20. I didn’t know that until I checked the laws for this chapter. (Since I’d been planning to use Yami not being a minor anymore as my reasoning for him moving back in…) You really do learn something new every day!
Here's to a fruitful year of fanfiction in 2010! *raises a glass of apple cider* Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart for your support, comments, jokes, and reviews this year. It means more to me than you might know. When I toast my blessings, I toast you as well. Cheers!