[fic] Just Don't Look Back, Chapter 05 - Yugioh, YamixYugi, angst/romance, R, AU
Title: Just Don't Look Back
Chapter: 05
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Rating: R
Genre: Angst/romance
Pairing: YamixYugi
Archive: Here
Overall warnings: AU, implied sex, insanity, violence
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Before he met Yugi, Yami spent his days panhandling alone. Yugi put his heart into changing Yami’s life, giving him companionship, a home and his love. But even he can’t save Yami from the control of his past, nor the dark path he is set upon.
Disclaimer: Yugioh continues to not belong to me.
- 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 -
---
“You won’t just walk away from me like this!”
The words were like a punch in the chest. Since when did anyone try to tell Yami he wasn’t allowed to do something? Didn’t Yugi understand that he couldn’t be in Yami’s life? Didn’t he understand that Yami wanted nothing from him? Strange anger spread through him.
“Yugi, stop, you’re not helping.” His voice had become icy. That same fierce look was on his face, the same look Yugi had seen there the first day he saw him. He knew Yami didn’t have very much and that his own spit and fire was what was keeping him going. Yugi understood that, he knew that Yami was proud of the fight his life was. Proud that he had found ways to always keep an edge in that fight. And proud of the little victories he had earned. It was not a life many would choose, but he, in every way he could be, was proud of his choice.
Yugi could see that perfectly. He had understood that from the first moment he looked into Yami’s face.
“Yeah, I know I’m not helping,” Yugi replied finally. “And I know you would rather beg the rest of your life than take charity you didn’t ask for. But this isn’t charity. This is me offering you something that I know you want. Not very many people in the last few years of your life have done that, have they?”
Yami’s eyes narrowed. “No.”
“Well, here I am. I’m offering you this because I want to give you a chance. To achieve you and your mother’s dreams. You guys worked so hard-”
“I told you my story,” Yami interrupted, “because I thought it would show you that my world isn’t something you need to be involved in, not because I wanted your pity! I thought I made everything clear, I told you the earthquake fucked me up in the head, I told you my mother is someone society looks down upon. You’ve seen firsthand that people hate me and would beat me up without a second thought, and I thought you were smart enough to know when to walk away!” He was growing visibly angry, although Yugi instinctively knew that Yami wouldn’t do him any harm.
“Those things don’t make you any less of a person,” Yugi said.
“They make my life something you should know to stay out of!”
“So what if you have phobias? So what if society thinks something? I don’t understand why any of this is a big deal.”
“Well…maybe there’s more to it than just that,” Yami said. “You say it like you can just gloss over it, but things aren’t as easy to gloss over in real life as they seem in words-”
Yugi waited expectantly. “Alright. Then explain to me what I’m missing.”
Yami growled in frustration. Why did Yugi have to demand more details? Details that Yami would rather die than divulge? “I don’t even know what you’re trying to prove,” he finally said, throwing his hands up. “This whole conversation is pointless if you refuse to listen to what I’m saying.”
“I’m trying to show you that you haven’t been forgotten!”
“We have been forgotten,” Yami snapped. “There’s no point in lying. But we worked hard and we’re alive and fighting, which is more than some people can say. Don’t pity me for surviving, Yugi.”
Yugi stood his ground. “I don’t. I never said I did.”
“Then get out of my way, and let me go take care of myself,” Yami replied, not really knowing why he was bothering to use his ‘warning’ tone since he knew perfectly well he could never hurt Yugi. “What if I can’t make enough? What about if my mother gets out of jail before I have enough money saved, what is she supposed to do then?”
“She could stay with us-”
“Yugi, be reasonable, your family is defying normalcy by agreeing to let me stay. They’re not going to want her staying there too. Who in their right minds would let a criminal do that? There’s charity and then there’s just…nonsense. And I want no part of either, now let me by.”
Yugi reached out and took Yami’s hand, his worn, scarred hand, and held it gently between both of his own. Yami looked down at it. Yugi kept his eyes trained on Yami’s face until Yami finally consented to meet his gaze.
“This isn’t charity, or pity, or nonsense,” he said. “I know you think you’ve been forgotten, or that people can’t care about you, but I’m trying to show you that you’re wrong. Don’t run away from that.”
“Who says I’m running away?”
“I say you are. I think you’re just afraid of what will happen if you accept help, and to you it’s easier to stay on this life that you’re familiar with rather than take a risk. I think you’re finally getting a chance at your dream but you’re just too scared to take it because it means letting someone in.”
“What right do you think you have to talk to me like this?” Yami demanded.
“Because I care about you,” Yugi replied softly.
Yami was struck into silence. Then, quietly: “you barely know me.”
“Still, you care about me. I know you do, you defended me before. So I ought to have the right to care back. I don’t care what the earthquake did to your mind, I don’t care if your mom made some desperate choices, I care about you.”
Yami had no response to that. His expression was unreadable; the closed-off look he often got when struggling with something inside.
“I know this is what you want, I saw the look in your eyes. You don’t have to take it. I’m offering because I want to. But please don’t walk away just because you’re scared.”
“Why do you want to?” Yami finally asked.
“Because I hoped…maybe if I opened up this chance for you, maybe you could smile more,” Yugi said.
Struck silent, Yami could only stare.
“I want to see good things happen to you and I wanted to maybe be the cause of one of those good things. I won’t force you into anything…but…I wish you wouldn’t run away.”
Yugi wasn’t meeting his eyes anymore, either out of shyness or discomfort, Yami didn’t know. He could only gaze down silently at Yugi’s bangs. There was something warm in his chest.
I can’t believe it.
But even stranger: it felt right. He depended on his fears to keep himself from making mistakes, but ever since he’d met Yugi that fear had begun to seem irrelevant. This went against every instinct he had…and yet he felt like that might be okay.
Yami moved his hand suddenly so that it was grasping Yugi’s, and he squeezed his fingers softly, hoping the touch could convey what he couldn’t say. “You’ll have to lead me there though. I don’t know how to find this shop of yours,” he said quietly. “And maybe you’d be okay with stopping in a restroom on the way so I can change clothes.”
Yugi’s heart rose. He looked back up to meet his eyes, which were no longer marred by anger or confusion. The sight of Yami smiling made him smile broadly back and he squeezed his hand quickly. “I think I can do that.”
- - -
At school, Yugi had a hard time paying attention, too busy alternately trying not to grin, and worrying that Yami might take off before school let out. Despite his anxiety, afterwards Yami was right where he said he would be, waiting on a bench. He even managed a shy wave toward Jounouchi, Honda, and Anzu, before Yugi grabbed his arm and pulled him away.
“What do you think I should wear?” Yami’s voice came from behind the door of a large, handicapped bathroom stall, closed but not locked. Yugi was waiting by the sink, standing guard. When he had expressed concern about how Yami handled something like a small stall, Yami had told him that he was relaxed, and therefore the discomfort was bearable. It helped, however, to leave it unlocked and with Yugi there to make sure nobody walked in on him, he could do just that. Yugi didn’t say it aloud, but he quite liked the idea that his presence was helping.
Yugi shrugged to himself. “I don’t know, whatever you want. It’s not really a big deal.”
“Yeah, but I want to make a good impression.”
“You don’t have to worry about that, I told you. Just wear something comfortable.”
“You’re not helping!” Yami swung the stall door open and displayed two shirts for Yugi’s perusal, demanding, “Now which one is better for impressing your family?”
“Um…the blue one.”
“Thank you.” He shut the door again, leaving a somewhat-startled Yugi to ponder his first sight of Yami partially-unclothed.
Really, Yugi thought, Yami was attractive in his own way. His shabby clothes hid a bony, rough frame and his worn skin was far from soft and flawless, but his body was toned with lean muscle and he moved with a kind of unpolished grace. Yugi couldn’t help wondering why so few people seemed to notice that. He’d seen countless women walk by while he and Yami talked, only to see them wrinkle their noses and keep going. He supposed they didn’t look much past the dirt and grime, and truthfully even dressed-up Yami probably wouldn’t turn heads, but there was no ignoring that he had a kind of unusual beauty about him.
His face heated up. It wasn’t really right for him to be evaluating Yami’s looks in such a way. He should really stick to the basics. Thin, gangly, rough-skinned, those were the sort of descriptive words he ought to be using.
He was brought out of his ruminating a moment later as Yami declared, “The point of changing clothes was to make me not look like a bum,” and threw open the door to offer two other choices for Yugi to evaluate.
One hour and every single combination of clothing he owned later, Yugi managed to convince him that the jeans, previously-rejected blue shirt, and jacket he had on were perfect, and then faced another several minutes of watching him brush his hair and teeth and scrub every inch of visible skin.
“Are you always this obsessive?” Yugi finally had to ask, watching him attempt to control a lock of hair that - at least according to Yami - wasn’t cooperating with him.
Yami paused, and his cheeks flushed. Yugi realized it was the first time he’d ever seen Yami blushing. The sight caused him to smile without meaning to.
“Um, well, no…I’m just nervous and I want to start this out the best way I can,” he rambled, licking his finger and finally getting the strands of hair the way he wanted them.
“There’s nothing to be worried about,” Yugi said gently.
“I know…but you have to understand it’s been a long time since I tried doing a job, I don’t want to mess this up. I want to look responsible, worth it…not like some charity case.”
“You’re going to do great, don’t worry about your appearance.”
“Thanks.” Yami smiled at him. “I am looking forward to this. I was willing to beg to make money when there seemed no other choice, but now I’ll be able to work with respect…like a normal person.” He suddenly threw his arms around Yugi and hugged him. “Thank you, Yugi…I always said that one day I’d make it somewhere in life, but to be honest I was starting to wonder if I ever would. I believed in the idea of a better tomorrow, but was beginning to think ‘tomorrow’ was just that. An idea only…maybe something that could never be achieved. You gave me hope. And a chance, and respect and…” His voice cracked suddenly. “Meeting you…is the best thing that’s happened to me.”
Yugi smiled and hugged him back. “You don’t need to thank me, I told you it isn’t charity. And Yami…I’m glad that I met you, too. I’m glad I was able to make a difference for you. I hated thinking about you all alone outside and leaving you out there every night.”
Yami smiled back. “Well that’s all changing now, thanks to you.”
Yugi smiled wider and hugged him tighter. Knowing he’d made a difference in this one person’s life was a great feeling. He hadn’t realized till now just how much it meant.
They held onto each other for a few moments, then Yugi finally pulled away and gave him a look. “So are you satisfied with how you look now? Ready to go do this?”
Nervousness sparked in Yami’s eyes for a moment, but then he nodded. “Yeah, let’s go.”
- - -
When they arrived at Yugi’s home, Yami was looking less confident and more as if he felt queasy. Yugi led him to the private entrance and held open the door for him.
“You can leave your stuff here for now,” Yugi said quietly. “I’ll bring it to your room later, okay?”
Yami nodded. He knew Yugi was trying to find ways to help, but the prospect of facing Yugi’s family without his cart to conveniently hold onto - and hold himself up with - didn’t make him feel much better.
Yugi’s nice, he told himself, ascending the stairs behind Yugi. His family must be nice as well.
The prospect of meeting more people as friendly as Yugi cheered him up enough to relax as they reached the second floor and Yugi led him into the living room.
“Mom!” Yugi called. “I’m home!”
Yugi must have informed his family the night before that he’d be bringing Yami home - not only did his mother materialize from another set of stairs almost instantly, but footsteps from below revealed that his grandfather had also heard him and was on his way up from the store.
He saw Yugi’s mother first - an intelligent-looking, middle-aged woman whose expression showed she was no pushover. Yugi must have inherited his looks from his father, as her neatly-cut dark hair and sharp eyes were very different from his. He could tell she had already formed an opinion of him, and was waiting for him to either confirm it or prove her wrong.
He bowed quickly. “It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for letting me stay.”
“You’re welcome,” she replied, inclining her head. Her voice matched her looks: crisp and steady, but not unkind. Yami was wondering if he should say anything else - compliment the house, maybe - when he heard a more jovial-sounding voice from behind him.
“Ah, so my new employee has arrived at last.”
Yugi brightened. “Hi Grandpa.”
Yami turned, and instantly relaxed. The man before him was gray-haired and elderly, but his eyes, a purple shade similar to Yugi's, retained a young-looking twinkle.
“My name is Sugoroku,” he said, greeting Yami. “I’m pleased to meet you; Yugi told us a great deal about you last night. Apparently you’ve become good friends.”
Yami nodded. “Thank you very much for the job. I promise I’ll do my best.”
“Good, because I’m in desperate need of some help. Follow me, I’ll show you the store.”
Yami glanced over his shoulder as he followed, and was relieved to see Yugi behind him. He felt safer with Yugi nearby.
Sugoroku quickly explained the store layout to him, and put him to work straightening the shelves, saying that he’d get into teaching him the register the next day. He was, he said, too busy to do so now, as he had to catch up on some paperwork. He had opened late, because he’d spent the morning oiling the hinges to the windows in the store room.
His comment about the windows caught Yami’s attention, and he eyed Yugi questioningly. Yugi nodded.
“He knows,” he said quietly.
“All of it?”
“No, just that you don’t like closed rooms.”
Yami smiled a little. It was weird, to think of people discussing him and his oddities, but not entirely bad. “Thanks.”
Yugi smiled back and patted his shoulder. “You’re going to be fine.”
He spent the day memorizing where things were, determined not to ask for help any more than he had to, and made a friend of Yugi’s grandfather without even meaning to by showing interest in some of the more esoteric games of the store. By evening, he was tired, but exhilarated. Dinner was a quiet affair; he spent most of his time worrying about his table manners. From the way Yugi’s mother acted, he had a feeling getting her to agree to let him stay had been a challenge for Yugi. She was never impolite, but kept up a cool, distant wall. Yami could tell that winning her favor wouldn’t be easy. After dinner his offer to help clean up was rebuffed, so he went downstairs to set up his new room. Yugi walked in ten minutes later, a pile of blankets in his arms.
“What are all of those for?” Yami asked, looking up from the sleeping mat he was unrolling and pointing to it. “You already gave me this to sleep on.”
“They’re for if you get cold.”
“I have my own-”
“You’ve got a coat,” Yugi said, setting the blankets down and giving him a look. “No friend of mine is sleeping under a coat in my own house.”
Yami didn’t argue.
“Anyway, I’m going to bed, I wanted to say good night. Are you sure you don’t need anything else?”
“What more could I need? I’ve got more than I’ve had in years,” Yami said, smiling as he stood up.
“Are you sure?”
He took a step forward, still smiling. “Thank you, Yugi, for everything, but you’ve done more than enough. Have a good night.”
Yugi thought about pressing the point, but then dismissed it. He could tell Yami was happy, his face told him everything.
“Good night,” he said, smiled back, and returned to his room. As Yami heard him going back upstairs he chuckled to himself and pulled out his coat. With it came a square of white fabric; the handkerchief Yugi had given him once before to cover his injured arm. An injury sustained during a moment he was less-than-proud of.
He picked the handkerchief up and sat down on the mat, gazing down at it for a moment, and then around at the room. It was just the storage room of a game store, but it made him smile.
This had been quite a day. He had not been pitied, but respected by Yugi and his family. He had been able to work and earn money by himself. He’d been treated like family rather than just a guest or worse, a beggar. This was not his home, but it was the first time in years that he had been able to sleep inside a building he could call a home. He didn’t even mind the walls so much…these walls seemed protective, not threatening.
His eyes welled up a little. Yugi had given him all of this. In spite of everything, in spite of all the reasons he’d given Yugi to walk away, Yugi hadn’t given up on him.
Yugi…
Pressing the fabric to his face, Yami sat there for a long time, his thoughts swirling, but his spirit at rest.
In the middle of that night while getting a drink of water, Yugi decided to sneak down to the store room to check on a suspicion. He peered inside the open doorway and saw that Yami had pulled the sleeping mat they gave him to the place on the floor with the best view of the door and windows. And, Yugi saw with a knowing nod to himself, he had refused to use the blankets he had left him, fast asleep under his coat instead. Yugi smiled softly and shook his head. Just as he had expected.
Yugi rubbed his arms, noticing a chill, and picked up one of the softest blankets, shaking it out and laying it over Yami’s body.
Yami didn’t move, he had no doubt grown accustomed to sleeping through anything. Yugi smiled at him and stole out of the room. He would need to get a good night’s sleep, after all, there was no way Yami was going to let him get away with skipping school again.
Back inside the room, Yami opened one eye, glanced toward the doorway Yugi had just vacated, then smiled softly and pulled the blanket around himself more snugly. It looked like he was going to have to get used to this treatment, because Yugi wasn’t going to let him be anytime soon.
X - X - X
Notes: Happy Veteran's Day! And I hope all my fellow WriMos are doing better than I am. xD (16,862 words at the moment, got another 1667 to go to make sure that I hit today's minimum after falling behind yesterday...)
This is another of those chapters that I was just never quite satisfied with...but I'm noticing that I'm not satisfied with most of the early chapters and am much happier with the later ones. So maybe it's just that I've re-read these early ones too many times and am sick of them...I'm not sure. ^^;
Thank you, everyone who has been following the fic this long! Your comments and support have been wonderful!
Chapter: 05
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Rating: R
Genre: Angst/romance
Pairing: YamixYugi
Archive: Here
Overall warnings: AU, implied sex, insanity, violence
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Before he met Yugi, Yami spent his days panhandling alone. Yugi put his heart into changing Yami’s life, giving him companionship, a home and his love. But even he can’t save Yami from the control of his past, nor the dark path he is set upon.
Disclaimer: Yugioh continues to not belong to me.
- 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 -
---
“You won’t just walk away from me like this!”
The words were like a punch in the chest. Since when did anyone try to tell Yami he wasn’t allowed to do something? Didn’t Yugi understand that he couldn’t be in Yami’s life? Didn’t he understand that Yami wanted nothing from him? Strange anger spread through him.
“Yugi, stop, you’re not helping.” His voice had become icy. That same fierce look was on his face, the same look Yugi had seen there the first day he saw him. He knew Yami didn’t have very much and that his own spit and fire was what was keeping him going. Yugi understood that, he knew that Yami was proud of the fight his life was. Proud that he had found ways to always keep an edge in that fight. And proud of the little victories he had earned. It was not a life many would choose, but he, in every way he could be, was proud of his choice.
Yugi could see that perfectly. He had understood that from the first moment he looked into Yami’s face.
“Yeah, I know I’m not helping,” Yugi replied finally. “And I know you would rather beg the rest of your life than take charity you didn’t ask for. But this isn’t charity. This is me offering you something that I know you want. Not very many people in the last few years of your life have done that, have they?”
Yami’s eyes narrowed. “No.”
“Well, here I am. I’m offering you this because I want to give you a chance. To achieve you and your mother’s dreams. You guys worked so hard-”
“I told you my story,” Yami interrupted, “because I thought it would show you that my world isn’t something you need to be involved in, not because I wanted your pity! I thought I made everything clear, I told you the earthquake fucked me up in the head, I told you my mother is someone society looks down upon. You’ve seen firsthand that people hate me and would beat me up without a second thought, and I thought you were smart enough to know when to walk away!” He was growing visibly angry, although Yugi instinctively knew that Yami wouldn’t do him any harm.
“Those things don’t make you any less of a person,” Yugi said.
“They make my life something you should know to stay out of!”
“So what if you have phobias? So what if society thinks something? I don’t understand why any of this is a big deal.”
“Well…maybe there’s more to it than just that,” Yami said. “You say it like you can just gloss over it, but things aren’t as easy to gloss over in real life as they seem in words-”
Yugi waited expectantly. “Alright. Then explain to me what I’m missing.”
Yami growled in frustration. Why did Yugi have to demand more details? Details that Yami would rather die than divulge? “I don’t even know what you’re trying to prove,” he finally said, throwing his hands up. “This whole conversation is pointless if you refuse to listen to what I’m saying.”
“I’m trying to show you that you haven’t been forgotten!”
“We have been forgotten,” Yami snapped. “There’s no point in lying. But we worked hard and we’re alive and fighting, which is more than some people can say. Don’t pity me for surviving, Yugi.”
Yugi stood his ground. “I don’t. I never said I did.”
“Then get out of my way, and let me go take care of myself,” Yami replied, not really knowing why he was bothering to use his ‘warning’ tone since he knew perfectly well he could never hurt Yugi. “What if I can’t make enough? What about if my mother gets out of jail before I have enough money saved, what is she supposed to do then?”
“She could stay with us-”
“Yugi, be reasonable, your family is defying normalcy by agreeing to let me stay. They’re not going to want her staying there too. Who in their right minds would let a criminal do that? There’s charity and then there’s just…nonsense. And I want no part of either, now let me by.”
Yugi reached out and took Yami’s hand, his worn, scarred hand, and held it gently between both of his own. Yami looked down at it. Yugi kept his eyes trained on Yami’s face until Yami finally consented to meet his gaze.
“This isn’t charity, or pity, or nonsense,” he said. “I know you think you’ve been forgotten, or that people can’t care about you, but I’m trying to show you that you’re wrong. Don’t run away from that.”
“Who says I’m running away?”
“I say you are. I think you’re just afraid of what will happen if you accept help, and to you it’s easier to stay on this life that you’re familiar with rather than take a risk. I think you’re finally getting a chance at your dream but you’re just too scared to take it because it means letting someone in.”
“What right do you think you have to talk to me like this?” Yami demanded.
“Because I care about you,” Yugi replied softly.
Yami was struck into silence. Then, quietly: “you barely know me.”
“Still, you care about me. I know you do, you defended me before. So I ought to have the right to care back. I don’t care what the earthquake did to your mind, I don’t care if your mom made some desperate choices, I care about you.”
Yami had no response to that. His expression was unreadable; the closed-off look he often got when struggling with something inside.
“I know this is what you want, I saw the look in your eyes. You don’t have to take it. I’m offering because I want to. But please don’t walk away just because you’re scared.”
“Why do you want to?” Yami finally asked.
“Because I hoped…maybe if I opened up this chance for you, maybe you could smile more,” Yugi said.
Struck silent, Yami could only stare.
“I want to see good things happen to you and I wanted to maybe be the cause of one of those good things. I won’t force you into anything…but…I wish you wouldn’t run away.”
Yugi wasn’t meeting his eyes anymore, either out of shyness or discomfort, Yami didn’t know. He could only gaze down silently at Yugi’s bangs. There was something warm in his chest.
I can’t believe it.
But even stranger: it felt right. He depended on his fears to keep himself from making mistakes, but ever since he’d met Yugi that fear had begun to seem irrelevant. This went against every instinct he had…and yet he felt like that might be okay.
Yami moved his hand suddenly so that it was grasping Yugi’s, and he squeezed his fingers softly, hoping the touch could convey what he couldn’t say. “You’ll have to lead me there though. I don’t know how to find this shop of yours,” he said quietly. “And maybe you’d be okay with stopping in a restroom on the way so I can change clothes.”
Yugi’s heart rose. He looked back up to meet his eyes, which were no longer marred by anger or confusion. The sight of Yami smiling made him smile broadly back and he squeezed his hand quickly. “I think I can do that.”
- - -
At school, Yugi had a hard time paying attention, too busy alternately trying not to grin, and worrying that Yami might take off before school let out. Despite his anxiety, afterwards Yami was right where he said he would be, waiting on a bench. He even managed a shy wave toward Jounouchi, Honda, and Anzu, before Yugi grabbed his arm and pulled him away.
“What do you think I should wear?” Yami’s voice came from behind the door of a large, handicapped bathroom stall, closed but not locked. Yugi was waiting by the sink, standing guard. When he had expressed concern about how Yami handled something like a small stall, Yami had told him that he was relaxed, and therefore the discomfort was bearable. It helped, however, to leave it unlocked and with Yugi there to make sure nobody walked in on him, he could do just that. Yugi didn’t say it aloud, but he quite liked the idea that his presence was helping.
Yugi shrugged to himself. “I don’t know, whatever you want. It’s not really a big deal.”
“Yeah, but I want to make a good impression.”
“You don’t have to worry about that, I told you. Just wear something comfortable.”
“You’re not helping!” Yami swung the stall door open and displayed two shirts for Yugi’s perusal, demanding, “Now which one is better for impressing your family?”
“Um…the blue one.”
“Thank you.” He shut the door again, leaving a somewhat-startled Yugi to ponder his first sight of Yami partially-unclothed.
Really, Yugi thought, Yami was attractive in his own way. His shabby clothes hid a bony, rough frame and his worn skin was far from soft and flawless, but his body was toned with lean muscle and he moved with a kind of unpolished grace. Yugi couldn’t help wondering why so few people seemed to notice that. He’d seen countless women walk by while he and Yami talked, only to see them wrinkle their noses and keep going. He supposed they didn’t look much past the dirt and grime, and truthfully even dressed-up Yami probably wouldn’t turn heads, but there was no ignoring that he had a kind of unusual beauty about him.
His face heated up. It wasn’t really right for him to be evaluating Yami’s looks in such a way. He should really stick to the basics. Thin, gangly, rough-skinned, those were the sort of descriptive words he ought to be using.
He was brought out of his ruminating a moment later as Yami declared, “The point of changing clothes was to make me not look like a bum,” and threw open the door to offer two other choices for Yugi to evaluate.
One hour and every single combination of clothing he owned later, Yugi managed to convince him that the jeans, previously-rejected blue shirt, and jacket he had on were perfect, and then faced another several minutes of watching him brush his hair and teeth and scrub every inch of visible skin.
“Are you always this obsessive?” Yugi finally had to ask, watching him attempt to control a lock of hair that - at least according to Yami - wasn’t cooperating with him.
Yami paused, and his cheeks flushed. Yugi realized it was the first time he’d ever seen Yami blushing. The sight caused him to smile without meaning to.
“Um, well, no…I’m just nervous and I want to start this out the best way I can,” he rambled, licking his finger and finally getting the strands of hair the way he wanted them.
“There’s nothing to be worried about,” Yugi said gently.
“I know…but you have to understand it’s been a long time since I tried doing a job, I don’t want to mess this up. I want to look responsible, worth it…not like some charity case.”
“You’re going to do great, don’t worry about your appearance.”
“Thanks.” Yami smiled at him. “I am looking forward to this. I was willing to beg to make money when there seemed no other choice, but now I’ll be able to work with respect…like a normal person.” He suddenly threw his arms around Yugi and hugged him. “Thank you, Yugi…I always said that one day I’d make it somewhere in life, but to be honest I was starting to wonder if I ever would. I believed in the idea of a better tomorrow, but was beginning to think ‘tomorrow’ was just that. An idea only…maybe something that could never be achieved. You gave me hope. And a chance, and respect and…” His voice cracked suddenly. “Meeting you…is the best thing that’s happened to me.”
Yugi smiled and hugged him back. “You don’t need to thank me, I told you it isn’t charity. And Yami…I’m glad that I met you, too. I’m glad I was able to make a difference for you. I hated thinking about you all alone outside and leaving you out there every night.”
Yami smiled back. “Well that’s all changing now, thanks to you.”
Yugi smiled wider and hugged him tighter. Knowing he’d made a difference in this one person’s life was a great feeling. He hadn’t realized till now just how much it meant.
They held onto each other for a few moments, then Yugi finally pulled away and gave him a look. “So are you satisfied with how you look now? Ready to go do this?”
Nervousness sparked in Yami’s eyes for a moment, but then he nodded. “Yeah, let’s go.”
- - -
When they arrived at Yugi’s home, Yami was looking less confident and more as if he felt queasy. Yugi led him to the private entrance and held open the door for him.
“You can leave your stuff here for now,” Yugi said quietly. “I’ll bring it to your room later, okay?”
Yami nodded. He knew Yugi was trying to find ways to help, but the prospect of facing Yugi’s family without his cart to conveniently hold onto - and hold himself up with - didn’t make him feel much better.
Yugi’s nice, he told himself, ascending the stairs behind Yugi. His family must be nice as well.
The prospect of meeting more people as friendly as Yugi cheered him up enough to relax as they reached the second floor and Yugi led him into the living room.
“Mom!” Yugi called. “I’m home!”
Yugi must have informed his family the night before that he’d be bringing Yami home - not only did his mother materialize from another set of stairs almost instantly, but footsteps from below revealed that his grandfather had also heard him and was on his way up from the store.
He saw Yugi’s mother first - an intelligent-looking, middle-aged woman whose expression showed she was no pushover. Yugi must have inherited his looks from his father, as her neatly-cut dark hair and sharp eyes were very different from his. He could tell she had already formed an opinion of him, and was waiting for him to either confirm it or prove her wrong.
He bowed quickly. “It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for letting me stay.”
“You’re welcome,” she replied, inclining her head. Her voice matched her looks: crisp and steady, but not unkind. Yami was wondering if he should say anything else - compliment the house, maybe - when he heard a more jovial-sounding voice from behind him.
“Ah, so my new employee has arrived at last.”
Yugi brightened. “Hi Grandpa.”
Yami turned, and instantly relaxed. The man before him was gray-haired and elderly, but his eyes, a purple shade similar to Yugi's, retained a young-looking twinkle.
“My name is Sugoroku,” he said, greeting Yami. “I’m pleased to meet you; Yugi told us a great deal about you last night. Apparently you’ve become good friends.”
Yami nodded. “Thank you very much for the job. I promise I’ll do my best.”
“Good, because I’m in desperate need of some help. Follow me, I’ll show you the store.”
Yami glanced over his shoulder as he followed, and was relieved to see Yugi behind him. He felt safer with Yugi nearby.
Sugoroku quickly explained the store layout to him, and put him to work straightening the shelves, saying that he’d get into teaching him the register the next day. He was, he said, too busy to do so now, as he had to catch up on some paperwork. He had opened late, because he’d spent the morning oiling the hinges to the windows in the store room.
His comment about the windows caught Yami’s attention, and he eyed Yugi questioningly. Yugi nodded.
“He knows,” he said quietly.
“All of it?”
“No, just that you don’t like closed rooms.”
Yami smiled a little. It was weird, to think of people discussing him and his oddities, but not entirely bad. “Thanks.”
Yugi smiled back and patted his shoulder. “You’re going to be fine.”
He spent the day memorizing where things were, determined not to ask for help any more than he had to, and made a friend of Yugi’s grandfather without even meaning to by showing interest in some of the more esoteric games of the store. By evening, he was tired, but exhilarated. Dinner was a quiet affair; he spent most of his time worrying about his table manners. From the way Yugi’s mother acted, he had a feeling getting her to agree to let him stay had been a challenge for Yugi. She was never impolite, but kept up a cool, distant wall. Yami could tell that winning her favor wouldn’t be easy. After dinner his offer to help clean up was rebuffed, so he went downstairs to set up his new room. Yugi walked in ten minutes later, a pile of blankets in his arms.
“What are all of those for?” Yami asked, looking up from the sleeping mat he was unrolling and pointing to it. “You already gave me this to sleep on.”
“They’re for if you get cold.”
“I have my own-”
“You’ve got a coat,” Yugi said, setting the blankets down and giving him a look. “No friend of mine is sleeping under a coat in my own house.”
Yami didn’t argue.
“Anyway, I’m going to bed, I wanted to say good night. Are you sure you don’t need anything else?”
“What more could I need? I’ve got more than I’ve had in years,” Yami said, smiling as he stood up.
“Are you sure?”
He took a step forward, still smiling. “Thank you, Yugi, for everything, but you’ve done more than enough. Have a good night.”
Yugi thought about pressing the point, but then dismissed it. He could tell Yami was happy, his face told him everything.
“Good night,” he said, smiled back, and returned to his room. As Yami heard him going back upstairs he chuckled to himself and pulled out his coat. With it came a square of white fabric; the handkerchief Yugi had given him once before to cover his injured arm. An injury sustained during a moment he was less-than-proud of.
He picked the handkerchief up and sat down on the mat, gazing down at it for a moment, and then around at the room. It was just the storage room of a game store, but it made him smile.
This had been quite a day. He had not been pitied, but respected by Yugi and his family. He had been able to work and earn money by himself. He’d been treated like family rather than just a guest or worse, a beggar. This was not his home, but it was the first time in years that he had been able to sleep inside a building he could call a home. He didn’t even mind the walls so much…these walls seemed protective, not threatening.
His eyes welled up a little. Yugi had given him all of this. In spite of everything, in spite of all the reasons he’d given Yugi to walk away, Yugi hadn’t given up on him.
Yugi…
Pressing the fabric to his face, Yami sat there for a long time, his thoughts swirling, but his spirit at rest.
In the middle of that night while getting a drink of water, Yugi decided to sneak down to the store room to check on a suspicion. He peered inside the open doorway and saw that Yami had pulled the sleeping mat they gave him to the place on the floor with the best view of the door and windows. And, Yugi saw with a knowing nod to himself, he had refused to use the blankets he had left him, fast asleep under his coat instead. Yugi smiled softly and shook his head. Just as he had expected.
Yugi rubbed his arms, noticing a chill, and picked up one of the softest blankets, shaking it out and laying it over Yami’s body.
Yami didn’t move, he had no doubt grown accustomed to sleeping through anything. Yugi smiled at him and stole out of the room. He would need to get a good night’s sleep, after all, there was no way Yami was going to let him get away with skipping school again.
Back inside the room, Yami opened one eye, glanced toward the doorway Yugi had just vacated, then smiled softly and pulled the blanket around himself more snugly. It looked like he was going to have to get used to this treatment, because Yugi wasn’t going to let him be anytime soon.
X - X - X
Notes: Happy Veteran's Day! And I hope all my fellow WriMos are doing better than I am. xD (16,862 words at the moment, got another 1667 to go to make sure that I hit today's minimum after falling behind yesterday...)
This is another of those chapters that I was just never quite satisfied with...but I'm noticing that I'm not satisfied with most of the early chapters and am much happier with the later ones. So maybe it's just that I've re-read these early ones too many times and am sick of them...I'm not sure. ^^;
Thank you, everyone who has been following the fic this long! Your comments and support have been wonderful!