i suppose this is goodbye forever

i'm converting to scientology because michelle wants to be the katie to my tom, i have to go impregnate her with an alien child now

the flood... gas prices.... the supreme court.... and now ( this )

i know i am not the only person who just can't feel at ease in the perfect situation. never has the word too been so hurtful. i am too in love, too jealous, too possesive, too sensitive. i am excessive to a regrettable degree, and you just aren't. for some reason that just proves impossible for you. i know that i am drunk but i also know when too ( Read more... )

so you should all know when the terror color safety security whatever color rises, very little on my train ride changes. occasionally a man will walk onto my subway with a gun, stare menacingly at all of us, and then walk off. if you happen to go to times square, there are a couple more overweight italian nypd. i suppose that is supposed to make me ( Read more... )

i have to begin with the best news of all, which is that i am done with tour. that is right bitches, no more scenesters for me. just a summer of fireworks at coney island, 24 hour diners, and nonstop sex with a hot lady. i discovered several things on this tour: 1. my deepest condolences to anyone who lives in oklahoma, kansas, or nebraska, yikes. ( Read more... )

red red wiiiiiiiinne

Poll

(and the correct answer is tyler durden, if you need help)

sometimes i am not sure why i like new york city so much. while on tour i dream longingly about it at all times, and then as soon as i pull onto bay parkway the young girls in juicy sweatsuits, skinned chickens in windows, slow-walking tourists, grating accents and white-belted hipsters make me want to lock myself in my room and then i realize this ( Read more... )

hello everyone, you've reached my living will. should i be in a comatose, non-responsive state, i ask that my wife be chained to my bedside 24 hours a day and unable to leave. i ask that ryan cabereracabbage be played constantly, and that michelle keep one hand down my pants at all times.. i can feel myself slipping into a comatose state right now ( Read more... )