Okay so I'm posting this here because I didn't want to get my insane journal off to a negative start. I am so fucking frustrated right now. I'm just so pissed off and angry and I feel like I'm about to kill something. Maybe I should just go to bed when I'm done eating dinner because fuck. I'm so done. I'm not even talking to anyone right now ( Read more... )

Okay. So I guess I need to do this again. I'm feeling majorly stressed out but my natural instinct is to push it down and try to ignore it. I just really need to work this. I'm just overwhelmed. I know that I have no right to be. I work a part time job that most people would consider easy and I sleep in almost every day. But what people don't ( Read more... )

Okay, so I'm turning to livejournal because I don't know what the fuck to do anymore. If you don't want negativity in your life please stop reading this now. Don't come to me after reading it and tell me that I really shouldn't stay stuff like this on the internet for everyone to see. Because this is a journal and its the only form of release I ( Read more... )

I cannot believe how shitty the past couple days have been. I seriously was so heart broken and depressed last night that I was physically in pain. And its not getting much better. I like having the weekends to recuperate from the week of work. But this weekend has been awful. I guess yesterday was because there was a funeral and it was just ( Read more... )

So I fully realize that lately this journal has become more me bitching about the shit that I go through on a daily basis and I understand that. However. It is a journal and sometimes I just need to get out the things that are bothering me. There will be a point at the end where I talk about the positive things that have been going through as well ( Read more... )

So this post was definitely originally gonna be about something else. But you know what? I'm done. I've absolutely had it today. This is probably one of the worst nights I've had in a while. Like really and truly. I fucking give up. The past couple days have sucked so bad I can even describe to you. I don't know why I even try to keep relationships ( Read more... )

Okay, so I know at the end of that last one, I said that Ben and I were together. And that's very true. But I'm having this problem right now. I still feel like I'm in love with someone else. And its hard to explain. Because I don't even know who this person is. Its like there's a ghost around me all the time. And I've gotten so used to them being ( Read more... )

I'm pretty sure my dad and my cat are the only two people in the whole world who truly love me anymore. Aside from God. My sister is so angry with me. Last night I went in her room to show her a spider that was on me and try to talk to her and she immediate told me to get out and shut the door. Then tonight I was just trying to tell her that the ( Read more... )

So I don't know where to start. Tonight has not been easy, nor was the day that led to it. I ended up doing something that I haven't done in a very long time. And when I told my best friend she was extremely upset with me. And rightly so. But it doesn't change the fact that I did it. Nor can it get rid of the feeling that I want to do it again some ( Read more... )