So last weekend I was dead to the world and my dad came in to wake me up for our usual Saturday father-daughter shopping excursion. He gave me my breakfast and left, and as I was rolling over all groggy-like, I noticed that my leg felt...wet. And my shorts (I was wearing those super-comfy dude basketball shorts) were wet. Like clinging to my leg ( Read more... )

Inspired by the dog horror story from yesterday:
( The day my cat exploded )

This is probably one of the worst nights of my life...ugh. I work overnights at a fast food restaurant and it was around 4am (about 2 hours ago) and my manager and I took the trash out to the dumpster. I had the trashcan from the prep area and I was pulling it out to toss it into the dumpster. Well I'm short so the side opening to it comes up to ( Read more... )

Today, I get up and go to the bathroom. It's orange, and pink around the edges. Huh, maybe I'm dehydrate-- wait. Pink? And it smells funky?

Oh gods I have a stealth UTI that's been brewing for months and my kidneys are shutting down I'm gonna die. After ten minutes of panicking and sucking down about 24oz of water to make sure the orangeish colour ( Read more... )

but I totally forgot that beets will turn your urine pink/purple. I was on my third day of eating borscht and about to call a doc before I asked Dr Google.
Hah I thought I had some kind of painless-but-horrible bladder infection going on or something.

I take a prescription migraine medication called Zomig. I love this medication for a few reasons, one being that it makes me pee frequently and urgently. And that sounds super weird so let me elaborate a bit:

Imagine you have a super full bladder. Just one poke here or a little tickle there is all it'd take for it all to come spilling out of you. ( Read more... )

( Cutting for the sake of my humility, includes talk of pee. )

I'm still embarassed ( Read more... )

I'm currently on augmentin (antibiotics, basically) for a pain in the ass sinus infection I have, and it's making my piss bright yellow/green. It's awesome.

Dear Body,

You can poop or you can pee, but you can't do both simultaneously. (I'm not really sure why you can't, since both require just about the same pushing action on my part, but w/e just accept that you can't.) Everytime you insist on trying the impossible, we get caught in a doozy of a catch-22, something along the lines of, "OMFG I NEED TO ( Read more... )