Here is the final part of Chapter 1. Witness the excitement of the sue's meeting with Dumbledore!

Warnings: The usual, some sexual humor, language, a mary sue
Disclaimer: anything i reference isn't mine

( A Meeting With Dumbledore )

Hello,
We return with the next exciting installment in which...nothing happens!

( It's Boring! )

Once again, I am sorry I haven't posted for a while. School takes up a lot of time. Thank you all for your patience. Anything you recognize isn't mine, anything referenced isn't mine, the characters aren't mine, this terrible book isn't mine, and the term MST isn't mine. I'm not making any money off of this.
Warnings: violent and sexual references, ( Read more... )

The final part of Chapter 5. This is longer than usual because I wanted to finish this chapter.

Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine. Severus Snape and Minerva McGonagall are not mine. Anything else reference isn't mine. These things have been used for satirical purposes only.

( Exposition )

Hello all,
Thank you for your patience. I am now on Christmas break for the next three weeks so I will try to post more, but seeing as I will be applying to medical school in about a year I will be very busy. Thanks again for your patience. Here is the next section of Chapter 5.

Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize is mine.
Warnings: Profanity, ( Read more... )

( Excuses... )

The chapter is really dragging, probably because there so much concentrated fail. Anyway, I don't know how many more sections of this chapter there will be, probably quite a few.
Warnings: Same old shit.
Disclaimer: See previous entries. The line about "charming the dew off the honeysuckle" is from the Golden Girls. The line about standing by your ( Read more... )

This part contains the most infuriating part of the book aside from Bella telling Edward he regrets saving her and Bella nearly passing out from kissing Edward. I hate her. I absolutely hate her. Anywho...
Disclaimer: Same as usual.
Warnings: sexual references, references to violence, a personal rant.

( Reality has no place here )

Here is part III of Chapter 5. Here we have the exciting lunch scene that is supposed to show the wonderful, nonexistent chemistry between Ted and Bellabitch. Next time, we will pick up with one of the most improbable scenes in the entire series.
Disclaimer: Twilight, Snape, McGonagall, and any songs, commercials, or movies I reference are not mine ( Read more... )

Here is the second part of Chapter 5.
Warnings: sexual references, language, references to violence
Disclaimer: Twilight, Snape, McGonagall, and any other commercials or movies I referenced are not mine.

( Chapter 5, Part II )