My current assignment from my sponsor is to write out my list of things I want in an ideal partner. I did this once before. I had a bad feeling back then when doing it. As if I knew that the person I was with then would never live up to them. That's not the purpose of the ideals list anyway, but still. I don't know how I feel about this one. I ( Read more... )

I drew an important boundary line with my ex-boyfriend/Dom today. He tried to hug me, and I told him that I didn't want to hug him right now because of him screaming at me in the street on August 13th. I said that it was a perfectly natural reaction to a very inappropriate question. It doesn't matter that he had low blood sugar. He agreed to ( Read more... )

I finally ended things with Dan. It was about a month long process on my end. It started when he implied I was easily replaceable on December 12th when I had Covid. I was willing to work on things until he went on that rant about New Years Eve. It just pissed me off so fucking much when he had been so confusing and unreliable about scheduling ( Read more... )

I have been changing my mind about things with my relationship. We had a good time last night. He said he wanted to be with me all the time. He's thought about coming to my apartment at like 4:00pm. Um, on which day of the week was this? On literally any of my work days, this would get you to my place when I wasn't home. He's so silly. I ( Read more... )

The desire to numb out is strong with this one. I don't want to feel things anymore. I don't want to feel pain, have upsets, feel anxiety so strong that it chokes me and I have chest pains even through my medication. Why can there not be a middle way between numb depression and feeling...too much ( Read more... )

I accidentally left my brasserie at my sponsor's house. I cannot believe it. I will never live this down. I don't even know how it happened. I could've sworn I'd put it in my bag, but apparently not. What can I say, it was an intense and exhausting meeting. Not to mention the side drama that is happening at the same time ( Read more... )

1)Anal Play ( Read more... )

It's so old that I cannot post to LiveJournal on it anymore. I think I need a new computer. I might try to update somethings, but it's time to save things I like to storage devices and go looking for something else ( Read more... )

I am resuming a friendship with a very interesting man. He is the same one from earlier in the pandemic. Think October 2020 to March 2021 ( Read more... )