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accept no exceptions
Ive seen both co-dependecy and deep resentsent in a pair who are joined due to settling. Yes most males and females adapt that urgency early in life dating and such. Even i despite my inability to hand over my control as being independent frequently has become more negotiable since im absolutely freaked that im failing this bad ( Read more... ) -
a mommy+a daddy+a baby=only 3 people
Its already been 2 months since my son was born. Time is much shorter than i thought even without crys, now a lil past 4 months done with that. My emotions are unveiled, which i am not accustomed to. The purpose of my use was not to feel and now i feel so much that i probably seem bizzarre. My son has brought me such peace for the love i have for ( Read more... ) -
freud was right, fucking dreams
finally ive reached the end of my rope, and soon i'll be hanging from it. there's one way ive always wanted to go...anyway i cant allow myself to function properly at work anymore. ive taken a beating from everything and everyone in that fucking office and will allow myself to go there once more only to burn the place down with each backstabbing ( Read more... ) -
leave me alone, wait they all did already
ive been discovered by my sponsor that i havent been staying clean. this wouldnt be that critical despite the fact im 5 months pregnant and knew how ashamed id be if anyone found out. its probably better that i endure this horrible admittance so i can do something about it. i dont know how bad my drug use has affected my baby and fear to find out. ( Read more... ) -
torn, ripped, and incomplete
since new years the days have been passing by with a incline in the degree of satisfication. since ive been seeing someone in place of bibi ive been able to sleep at night without that feel of agonizing discomfort. jose "no se" seems to like me although im unsure why or what his motives are, why that should matter kills it but im overanalytical ( Read more... ) -
somewhere over the rainbow
...is where i am not
ive my decision and im sticking with it even though everyway i turn im discouraged and disappointed. Even if i wanted to i cant get rid of it so little miss strange is going to be a mommy, im so vaguely excited. its there but lack of validation. couldnt i be good enough for some happy version of my story? seems like i got ( Read more... ) -
wish upon the death star
oh my fucking god, i hate you and i wanna go to hell now. there's no love for the pregnant girl who still has no boyfriend. i feel like a pinata going through a gauntlet and any or everyone will get their chance to bash my head in. go right ahead im the idiot who got pregnant by a stupid loser the first time and now a whiny bitch for the second. ( Read more... ) -
destination the end
push it to the limit....oh how much more. during the recess i found the edge and tried to jump over but is was too terrifying. how bad could i want this, i keep trying.. -
my girlfriend has a girlfriend
thats all he wants, to wake up to both of us. ive been giving him what he wants too and its not as easy a i thought. i like him so i guess i have no choice but to put up and put out.l -
up up and crash
unexpectantly i ended up in his bed, i could have gave a shit. now its as if ive discovered what i shouldve been looking for all along. after all every seeks his attention and he sought mine and for what? fuck me til you find something better? great...i tried to write this yesterday after my confidence level dropped below zero and left nothing ( Read more... )