What happens when the answer is "No, I'm not ok."?  I mean really, if I can answer the question, I obviously have to be ok...right?  I just don't feel right.  I don't know what this hole is that I feel.  I feel like there is a hole where my heart is supposed to be.  I'm not sure if this is a physiological problem, or if this is just my heart ( Read more... )

First, I just want to say to the person who posted a reply on my last journal entry...and you know who you are...if you are going to attack me, at least have the balls to leave your name.  And further more, my journal, I can bitch in it if I want to.  I didn't post it to any community, thus shut your fucking conservative, republican mouth.

Anyways, ( Read more... )

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately.  Since the new year I have been using the mens' room, introducing myself as Pelikan or J.B., male pronouns, and so on and so forth. I just don't really know if that's what I want.  I mean I still cringe when someone uses she.  But I don't want to play this back and forth game.  It's not fair to me or to ( Read more... )

I'm just in a very interesting mood.  I'm pretty sure the last straw was getting onto facebook and reading (Name not mentioned, because I have respect to not out people even though this kid makes me look straight)'s status.  It was on the list of the recently updated list.  It read:(Name not mentioned, because I have respect to not out people even ( Read more... )

ok so I'm not in the sanest of moods, despite the night I have had.  You would think a night out of the house, sitting on Dillow's couch drinking beer and watching Star Trek and making raunchy comments every 5 minutes would put me in a decent mood.  I think the damper and depression is being caused by the fact that family christmas with my dad's ( Read more... )

 So I have been doing a lot of thinking lately.  A lot of people have been talking to me and making a lot of sense.  I have also been listening to a lot of influential music.  Some of the lyrics of song have been making a lot of sense to me.  For instance:

Amazing by Aerosmith

I kept the right ones out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy ( Read more... )

Today I felt like a fake ( Read more... )

Gender

Gender

Not Binary

Never ending spectrum

Not Pink
Not Blue
Mind and body out of sync

Fluid

Feminine features
Masculine mind
Androgyny

Transman

Genderqueer

Male Restroom

Female Restroom

Unisex

Sex (Please Circle One)

Sir
Ma'am
Trucks or Dolls
Confusion

He
She
Gender Identity Disorder
Fear

Systematic Training

Passing

Packing

Binding

Scared of being beaten or killed

Gender ( Read more... )

So the other night I was writing a post about the concerns I have about a diversity retreat that I am going to next weekend.  I was fretting about gender and the sleeping arrangements and the bathroom situations.  I was sure that that was all I could handle at the moment.  As I was thinking that this whole situation was causing me enough stress, my ( Read more... )