Confrontation with mom
So the other night I was writing a post about the concerns I have about a diversity retreat that I am going to next weekend. I was fretting about gender and the sleeping arrangements and the bathroom situations. I was sure that that was all I could handle at the moment. As I was thinking that this whole situation was causing me enough stress, my mom instant messaged me.
She just said: I thought we would tell you we love you. She was refering to my brother and my dad, and knowing her the cat and dog too....but anyways. We started chattering about random stuff and all the sudden she asks me: So what is this I hear that you changed your name on you facebook page?
I didn't know what to say. I mean I had a story lined up but in the panic of the moment I forgot it. And for some reason I wanted to tell her, but I was scared. So I just responded with: brb. And then I went out and sat on our free speech zone that is a couple of streets down from the dorm I live in and sat there and just cried. I didn't know what else to do.
I'm so tired of hiding who I am from her, and from everyone. I'm just not ready to tell people. I mean I want to know hwo I am before I start telling people. Because for one it's not fair to me because they will ask questions that I don't know the answers to yet. And second and more important, it's not fair to everyone else, because they will be more confused than I am.
That is all for now, as I am still sick and I really need some sleep. I just wanted to put up a post, because I have all of these things I mean to write down. So many thoughts that I need to put onto paper and I don't have enough time of day, because when I am not in class or doing homework I am trying to sleep and recover.
She just said: I thought we would tell you we love you. She was refering to my brother and my dad, and knowing her the cat and dog too....but anyways. We started chattering about random stuff and all the sudden she asks me: So what is this I hear that you changed your name on you facebook page?
I didn't know what to say. I mean I had a story lined up but in the panic of the moment I forgot it. And for some reason I wanted to tell her, but I was scared. So I just responded with: brb. And then I went out and sat on our free speech zone that is a couple of streets down from the dorm I live in and sat there and just cried. I didn't know what else to do.
I'm so tired of hiding who I am from her, and from everyone. I'm just not ready to tell people. I mean I want to know hwo I am before I start telling people. Because for one it's not fair to me because they will ask questions that I don't know the answers to yet. And second and more important, it's not fair to everyone else, because they will be more confused than I am.
That is all for now, as I am still sick and I really need some sleep. I just wanted to put up a post, because I have all of these things I mean to write down. So many thoughts that I need to put onto paper and I don't have enough time of day, because when I am not in class or doing homework I am trying to sleep and recover.