The sun is a mass of incandescent gas........
First, I just want to say to the person who posted a reply on my last journal entry...and you know who you are...if you are going to attack me, at least have the balls to leave your name. And further more, my journal, I can bitch in it if I want to. I didn't post it to any community, thus shut your fucking conservative, republican mouth.
Anyways, onto the real post. I wasn't going to go to the trans meeting tonight. I went anyways. I am really glad that I did. I figured out that the reason I feel so awkward isn't because I'm so much younger, I mean that doesn't help matters much, but it's just that I don't like sharing and talking in the big group. The boys talked me into going in the back with them. We sat back there and talked about boxer briefs and binders and what not. It was really nice. I felt like I fit in. I'm not sure if it was that the girls weren't there or if it was being in the smaller group. Ann did come back with us, but I don't mind that. I love Ann. Then after a while Lotta joined us. It was nice, finally being able to talk and not be scared to. Then a group of us went to IHOP and had sex discussions over late dinner. These discussion included a five year old twirling a gigantic purple dildo in a sword fight....don't ask....I think we should have more discussions like this....not the five year old and the sword fighting purple dildo....but more: girls up front and boys in the back discussions. It's important.
I also want to try something new at BiGALA. Not everyone will be happy about it I'm sure. But I want to start using proper pronouns with people. I want to ask for prefered gender pronouns in introductions. Along with this it will also be stated if those pronouns are just for that room, or if it is ok if they are used on other occasions. And also make sure that if you want to pass on that, that you may. And that gender neutral pronouns are ok, that you don't have to know what pronouns you want to use. I personally hate pronouns.
So my week one summary of classes:
All my professors were really cool about using J.B. I'm not sure if I prefer J.B. or Pelikan. But I'm ok with this for the moment. I absolutely LOVE my Sexuality and American Religion class. I mean I get to talk about sex and religion. My two favorite things to talk about, and I get to talk about them together in one place. We have to do a 12 to 15 page research paper on something to do with sexuality and american religion, I'm almost positve that I want to do mine on Transexuality and American Religion. Maybe genderqueer....I don't know....I haven't nailed it down yet. We don't even have to start thinking about it for quite some time. Our topics aren't due until like March, but I know me and research papers, so I should actually start on this much sooner than that. I'll probably make a meeting with Martha to discuss it in early mid February, to make sure that it is ok to do that topic, so I don't do all this work for really nothing, or at least what feels like nothing, when I could be doing other work right now. My math class is going ok. I'm praying that I don't have to take something higher for my major. That will suck. I hate math. Geology is going ok as far as I know. Nothing really to say about it. Learned how to read topographic maps the other day. My night class, religion....., it's probably going to suck, just because it's 3 hours long. But I do have it with Micah, so it may not be too bad.
Fitness for Living.....I am going to stab someone in lecture...I can already tell. Because it is all the shit that I already know and have had hammered into me a million times. And it's just going to piss me off. The lecture......the teacher is really cool, but I'm just a bit scared of what will happen once we start dressing out. I feel kind of like an awkward 7th grader again. I mean I don't think that we even use the locker rooms, I mean I probably will because I don't do pants when I work out. I have to wear shorts, unless it's marching, but that is slightly different. And it wouldn't be a problem, but it's fucking freezing out. I can just walk out the door and start to shiver, and I'm never cold. And then there is the thing, what if someone notices that I don't have much leg hair? And I don't know that I can/want to pack when I am in class, because sometimes a lot of moving around makes things fall out, and it's not that easy to explain why some condoms filled with hair gel covered in pantyhose fell out of your pants. And I don't know what I'm going to do if he separates boys and girls. I might actually cry. And I understand that in most things, there are different requirements for boys and girls. But I'm hoping that he will keep track for my body being female, but pretend that I am a boy to the rest of the class. I am just really nervous about this.
I also love that Fruits just responded to my facebook status, which is also the title of this journal entry. Brownie points for the person that can post the next part to the title.......