We're having quite the storm outside today... it is gusty as all get out! It makes me feel adventurous and excited ( Read more... )

A little update on the IFS session to stop the nightmares related to going into therapy...

Link to that here: lucretiasheart.livejournal.com/1488223.html

It appears to have worked.  I said that if the nightmares and insomnia stopped, it means that I actually DID reach the subconscious part of my mind that was actively against me. That was February ( Read more... )

I spent today working through some shit that's been bothering me. I'll post some of my notes in back-dated entries from this week. I got really tired of the constant nightmares and bullshit insomnia-- just because I'm going to get help and some memory back ( Read more... )

I've been having a lot more nightmares lately. From my inner decorator/domestic, "Irma," so angry she was sending notes to me through couriers, to reminders of abductions past with a twist, to frantic escape themed danger dreams, nightmares are waking me up at least 3 times a week right now ( Read more... )

I don't know much about this next aspect. The Taskmaster image is just a grouchy mature to old man who is rather self-righteous and ambitious.

Hilariously, I googled "Taskmaster" and there's a British show called that and here is the guy who stars in it:


( Read more... )

I've had a hard time feeling able to access this aspect since my depression started trying to rear up and my health started to deteriorate. In addition, another aspect who calls himself "Barry" has been running interference, resentful of yet more work being created by the process ( Read more... )

I first met The Bull, an emergency aspect dedicated to survival, in a dream not too long ago.

The meeting after the dream here: lucretiasheart.livejournal.com/1235492.htmlI asked him to not scream at the immature aspects quite so much, and to instead practice a game called "freeze" where they still shut up so he can get stuff done, but no one is ( Read more... )

We all carry the most influential people we grew up with inside our heads. My father, whose REAL nickname was "Rotten Red," is one of them. As a child, I came to hate my own father, which is not a normal thing, certainly. In a session with my abusive Ray aspect I called my father's nickname, it revealed that it created a monster of my father in my ( Read more... )

Bitter witch is my feisty side-- the part of me that rants (so you actually know this side of me well, readers!) and pushes back, and argues with other people (and with myself too, to be fair.) She's the part of me who can get far too riled up, defensive, and righteously indignant.

My first meeting with her, IFS-wise: lucretiasheart.livejournal. ( Read more... )

I've called her "Myrna" several times, because that's where her name came from-- but it's morphed into "Irma" and I have failed to honor that. (Quite frankly, I don't like the name! Either Myrna nor Irma!) Anyway, that's this aspect's name-- who likes to clean and organize and decorate a home ( Read more... )