IFS: Check-In with Bitterwitch/Advocate
Bitter witch is my feisty side-- the part of me that rants (so you actually know this side of me well, readers!) and pushes back, and argues with other people (and with myself too, to be fair.) She's the part of me who can get far too riled up, defensive, and righteously indignant.
My first meeting with her, IFS-wise: lucretiasheart.livejournal.com/1217948.html
When last I worked with Bitterwitch (who will eventually be more healed and get a better name) she was revealed as the Ray who guarded Crybaby (who in turn was tormented by RottenRed.) I suggested she hang out more with Crybaby (whose new name will be Rain after some more healing work.) Both aspects were up for that.
That scenario here: lucretiasheart.livejournal.com/1220113.html
Lately, I've noticed something is going off from the previous health I achieved with Bitterwitch. For example, I was going to call her "Advocate"-- but now I can tell she prefers "Bitterwitch" again. I'm going to touch base with her now. Also? I was directed to use THIS pic of her, rather than another.
<--- Does that look good to you?
So, yeah-- issues!
Me: Hey Bitterwitch! Come on out and let's chat.
Bitterwitch: Yeah. I'm here. Where the hell to start, huh?
Me: I wanted to apologize for the long space of time where you and I didn't work together. Last time we really talked was 2 years ago, during our first Yule with Sharn and Cat.
Bitterwitch: Yeah. *gives me a sardonic look* Right after we talked Cat into taking low dose anti-depressants for her constant negative bitching...
Me: Mmmm...! That is true! And it worked great to help keep her going through a really rough period of time. And then she went off them and...
Bitterwitch: And started driving me crazy again. I'm the one who is pissed off at our best friend, in case you wondered. I'm just done with dealing with constant negative attitudes!
Me: Ah. And she's triggered Crybaby for a whole day recently! So, yeah that fits what I know of your pattern and your job with that Shadow/Teen Self.
Bitterwitch: Your advice from before was working really well, actually. I'm not as cynical about this new self-talk therapy thing you're doing. I was before, but I'm on board now. So I appreciate that you're returning to it now. You can feel the hesitation coming from some aspects really strongly though, can't you?
Me: Oh, yeah! I thought maybe it was you...
Bitterwitch: No. Not me. You and I communicating like this helps. I can see that now. I was the one who decided to make an ultimatum to Cat regarding addressing her behavior issues soon. I'm advocating like I'm supposed to-- you're working with me better.
Me: Okay, so someone else doesn't want me talking to aspects. And I can see that you and I are working together better and have for some time now.
Bitterwitch: Yes and yes on both! I'll let you and the troublesome aspects talk later, I just want to say- don't stop this process, even though you're being sabotaged to. Keep pushing! They'll get it, just like I did.
Me: Okay-- thank you. I appreciate the pep talk! So... then, why are you so... disheveled?
Bitterwitch: I'm tired. Same as the message you got from Major Ray. It's been a hell of a year! And we're in a decent place now, which would be a LOT better if Cat just got her mood issues ironed out. I am also burnt fried and crispy. I've been carrying everyone. I couldn't do it anymore and Crybaby just came out and I... had nothing left in me except bitter bites. I wanted to fight with Cat SO much that last time, and I just had no strength left.
Me: Yeah, I can see that. That explains my whole "weepy Wendy" day and also why the depressive thinking and everything came and went in a day.
Bitterwitch: Talking to Tess and her really listening and giving a shit made a big difference. As did your plans with Robin... although it's looking like she's going to flake on us again...
Me: Yeah-- another issue. I can see exhaustion is a problem for several Rays, including you. I gave the Major permission to go "part-time" vacationing.
Bitterwitch: Uh-- NO. I don't do that. I mean, I could use a break, but I can't check out as much as he's allowing himself to step back.
Me: Okay, I understand you're too involved to feel comfortable doing that. What would you suggest instead?
Bitterwitch: Talk to Crybaby-- like more than to me. She needs more support. I'll join in if you need me.
Me: What about for you though?
Bitterwitch: Talking to Crybaby gets me a break. Otherwise-? I need Cat to back off. I can't keep up this defense against her shit. My job is to talk back to criticism, and she won't relent, so I can't either. That's why I suggested the "intervention" idea. She needs to back the fuck off her roommates! We can't take care of her emotions while she's causing us to melt down!
Me: Okay. Got it. Is that what you need the most right now? Is there anything else I need to know going forward?
Bitterwitch: Just general rest and socializing with other people will help, and you have both those things planned. So-- yeah. We can do more later. Right now, I'm in crisis, and Crybaby is in crisis-- obviously! We need to make a space of safety-- a sanctuary from negativity. If you can manage it.
Me: I will very strenuously work on that. Thank you for meeting me. I think I will add asking Cat to keep a bitch notebook to put down any actual problems that are bugging her from roomies that she can address ONCE a month at our meeting! Just to keep down the constant "this is wrong and this is wrong" daily stuff. I'll think of more as well going forward. Thank you! I'll do my best to help you out so you can work on healing again.
*She gives me another "namaste" bow and departs*
END SESSION.
My first meeting with her, IFS-wise: lucretiasheart.livejournal.com/1217948.html
When last I worked with Bitterwitch (who will eventually be more healed and get a better name) she was revealed as the Ray who guarded Crybaby (who in turn was tormented by RottenRed.) I suggested she hang out more with Crybaby (whose new name will be Rain after some more healing work.) Both aspects were up for that.
That scenario here: lucretiasheart.livejournal.com/1220113.html
Lately, I've noticed something is going off from the previous health I achieved with Bitterwitch. For example, I was going to call her "Advocate"-- but now I can tell she prefers "Bitterwitch" again. I'm going to touch base with her now. Also? I was directed to use THIS pic of her, rather than another.
<--- Does that look good to you?
So, yeah-- issues!
Me: Hey Bitterwitch! Come on out and let's chat.
Bitterwitch: Yeah. I'm here. Where the hell to start, huh?
Me: I wanted to apologize for the long space of time where you and I didn't work together. Last time we really talked was 2 years ago, during our first Yule with Sharn and Cat.
Bitterwitch: Yeah. *gives me a sardonic look* Right after we talked Cat into taking low dose anti-depressants for her constant negative bitching...
Me: Mmmm...! That is true! And it worked great to help keep her going through a really rough period of time. And then she went off them and...
Bitterwitch: And started driving me crazy again. I'm the one who is pissed off at our best friend, in case you wondered. I'm just done with dealing with constant negative attitudes!
Me: Ah. And she's triggered Crybaby for a whole day recently! So, yeah that fits what I know of your pattern and your job with that Shadow/Teen Self.
Bitterwitch: Your advice from before was working really well, actually. I'm not as cynical about this new self-talk therapy thing you're doing. I was before, but I'm on board now. So I appreciate that you're returning to it now. You can feel the hesitation coming from some aspects really strongly though, can't you?
Me: Oh, yeah! I thought maybe it was you...
Bitterwitch: No. Not me. You and I communicating like this helps. I can see that now. I was the one who decided to make an ultimatum to Cat regarding addressing her behavior issues soon. I'm advocating like I'm supposed to-- you're working with me better.
Me: Okay, so someone else doesn't want me talking to aspects. And I can see that you and I are working together better and have for some time now.
Bitterwitch: Yes and yes on both! I'll let you and the troublesome aspects talk later, I just want to say- don't stop this process, even though you're being sabotaged to. Keep pushing! They'll get it, just like I did.
Me: Okay-- thank you. I appreciate the pep talk! So... then, why are you so... disheveled?
Bitterwitch: I'm tired. Same as the message you got from Major Ray. It's been a hell of a year! And we're in a decent place now, which would be a LOT better if Cat just got her mood issues ironed out. I am also burnt fried and crispy. I've been carrying everyone. I couldn't do it anymore and Crybaby just came out and I... had nothing left in me except bitter bites. I wanted to fight with Cat SO much that last time, and I just had no strength left.
Me: Yeah, I can see that. That explains my whole "weepy Wendy" day and also why the depressive thinking and everything came and went in a day.
Bitterwitch: Talking to Tess and her really listening and giving a shit made a big difference. As did your plans with Robin... although it's looking like she's going to flake on us again...
Me: Yeah-- another issue. I can see exhaustion is a problem for several Rays, including you. I gave the Major permission to go "part-time" vacationing.
Bitterwitch: Uh-- NO. I don't do that. I mean, I could use a break, but I can't check out as much as he's allowing himself to step back.
Me: Okay, I understand you're too involved to feel comfortable doing that. What would you suggest instead?
Bitterwitch: Talk to Crybaby-- like more than to me. She needs more support. I'll join in if you need me.
Me: What about for you though?
Bitterwitch: Talking to Crybaby gets me a break. Otherwise-? I need Cat to back off. I can't keep up this defense against her shit. My job is to talk back to criticism, and she won't relent, so I can't either. That's why I suggested the "intervention" idea. She needs to back the fuck off her roommates! We can't take care of her emotions while she's causing us to melt down!
Me: Okay. Got it. Is that what you need the most right now? Is there anything else I need to know going forward?
Bitterwitch: Just general rest and socializing with other people will help, and you have both those things planned. So-- yeah. We can do more later. Right now, I'm in crisis, and Crybaby is in crisis-- obviously! We need to make a space of safety-- a sanctuary from negativity. If you can manage it.
Me: I will very strenuously work on that. Thank you for meeting me. I think I will add asking Cat to keep a bitch notebook to put down any actual problems that are bugging her from roomies that she can address ONCE a month at our meeting! Just to keep down the constant "this is wrong and this is wrong" daily stuff. I'll think of more as well going forward. Thank you! I'll do my best to help you out so you can work on healing again.
*She gives me another "namaste" bow and departs*
END SESSION.