Dear Universe,

Please start releasing new episodes of television soon. With my DVR, I have seen every goshdarn episode of every show I like, and there is NOTHING TO WATCH ON TV right now.

Love,
Jessica

P.S. No, I do not feel like using all my free time during re-runs to clean my house, spruce up my yard, or save the world.

I have never seen Dancing with the Stars, but it has restored my faith in humanity and American culture.

I don't know what channel or time this show is on, and I have never seen a single episode. I don't even think I have seen a television spot about it, since I don't watch a lot of non-DVR'ed or network television. I do read about it in People ( Read more... )

Anyone who thinks Hollywood is run by a liberal cabal won't change his mind after watching The Simpsons' annual Halloween special. The episode, which airs Nov. 5, concludes with an Iraq war satire that may rank as the most pointed political statement the show has ever made. In the segment, aliens invade Springfield to prevent mankind from obtaining ( Read more... )

As a public service to the world, I will NOT be forwarding OR posting the recipe and photo I received for Kitty Litter Cake from a crazed aunt. I will reveal that it involved semi-melted tootsie rolls. I am sure you can find a picture of it if you are so inclined ( Read more... )

I live a fairly clueless life. I listen to Morning Edition on the way to work, All Things Considered on the ride home, and I get five to six emails a week from my totally awesome hippie liberal mom. Republican hubby and I BOTH crack up at The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. When either is especially brilliant, I make sure to remind my non- ( Read more... )

Dear DirecTV ( Read more... )

Supernova, you are dead to me.

Dear Creators of Desperate Housewives ( Read more... )

+ I was born in Ann Arbor, Michigan, when my parents were grad students at Michigan and part-time museum security guards ( Read more... )

I am sobbing right now because Steve Irwin is dead. I walked in from my 10-hour day, sat down on the couch, launched in to an anecdote about the fair, and the E stopped me mid-sentence to point to CNN Headline News.

I will write a better tribute later. I am so, so, so sad.