In Slaughterhouse-Five, nobody ever dies, because life operates free of the shackles of time. Vonnegut is trapped forever in a day before today. So it goes.
-- tpaquin in his tribute to his literary hero, which contains some precious reflections on the high school experience. This Dan Cattucci character is larger than life, and I didn't even go to Tom ( Read more... )

"tom, why didn't that work order get finished?"
"a unicorn f*cked up my computer"

"tom, why is there a dead body in your trunk?"
"i dunno, i guess a unicorn did it"
-- tt's response to me teasing his entire state because a man is claiming that a unicorn was driving when his car hit a light post in Billings, MTI can assure you that your company's ( Read more... )

If I were forced, at gunpoint, to shave my cooch-fro into a design, I'd get it shaped like a carrot. VEGANISM, REPRESENT!
-- infloresence, after asking "Who the fuck shaves their cooch into a design? Goddamn lip gloss hoarding Paris Hilton type motherfuckers."I have midterms this week. Whaaa? Who knew that studying abroad was supposed to involve studying. Don' ( Read more... )

I am an American, and as an American, I feel it is my sworn duty to bastardize anything ever created by any other culture.
-- blozor

I might be emotionally scarred by skiing. Sledding is more my speed. I will attempt a killer-looking hill as long as I'm sitting on my ass.
-- galenamoon

vacation + fornication, not masturbation, is literary motivation.
-- anarmyofcamp ( Read more... )

CAPE CANAVERAL, FLOfficials at the Kennedy Space Center announced Tuesday that they have set Aug. 6 as the date for launching $700 million from the Denarius IV spacecraft, the largest and most expensive mission to date in NASA's unmanned monetary-ejection program ( Read more... )

This is soooooo awesome. Someone sent it to me on my birthday and told me to post it, and to show you how out of it I have been with my five-day headache, I have no memory of who it was. I love you, mysterious friend that I forget my dear, dear Mattie, who made my birthday totally fun.

http://sixtymins.ytmnd.com/

I just want to pass on to everyone out there that shaving cream is an amazing invention. Somewhere along the way in college, I was too cheap or lazy to have both shaving cream and body wash in my shower, so I just started using body wash for both purposes. For some reason, the other day I used E's shaving cream when shaving my legs and WOW did I ( Read more... )