I keep saying to write more, but there are times where I balk at writing because it makes it feel real. And I know this is WHY I should write, but maybe, if I just keep pushing, just keep doing, the thought that you're gone and in my bookcase won't haunt me as much. I feel this pang of emptiness. I keep hearing my own voice say, "Hi, Da-ee" with ( Read more... )

Within a week, I became engaged, my mother flew North, I drove a pickup truck like a boss, and I caught another flight to retrieve my father. It's our last night in Florida, the house a skeleton of the sixteen years we've lived in it. My father sits alone in a recliner, walls outlined in nicotine of memories from years past.

My room has the bed I ( Read more... )

I've been sitting on this couch, off and on, for hours, first trying to do budgets then finishing reading library books. I've been sick since Tuesday, still went to Bad Decisions for his journal article on Wednesday, then held out since Thursday. I did some cleaning when I wasn't hacking with every ounce of my being. I woke this morning, worried ( Read more... )

Well, that all changed so fast ( Read more... )

It's been an exceptional time since I updated. I would've liked to appropriately write this through a client on a computer, but instead, I'm using an app. Even I can limp into the future.

We're halfway through Overtime October, the month I'm trying to make at least one mortgage payment by working enough overtime to kill some damned body. Last week ( Read more... )

I flew in again this morning, landing after not caring too much for yet another flight to Florida. I was immediately cranky getting into my mother's car with my father driving. I felt too closed in- I hadn't slept too well on the plane, and I knew I had been running-running-running since I started working full-time Sunday. I get into the car, my ( Read more... )

I fly back in two nights. I've been here a solid two weeks now, sporadically cleaning, cooking, and organizing medications. We have a bid in on the condo and I'm completing paperwork for the sale to go through ( Read more... )

It's antsiness, I assume. The semester ended, all my papers are turned in, and I am slowly waiting. I wanted to write more about how my heart is breaking in Baltimore, how my city was on fire, how I was sad/proud/disappointed/enraged/relieved. The only emotion neither Fidget or I have is fear. This is our city ( Read more... )

The smoke alarm angrily beeped in our bedroom around 0640. After waking up and realizing what was happening, I was somewhat grateful as it would be registration in about twenty minutes. I changed the battery, then crawled back into bed for fifteen minutes. Phone started vibrating. Friend had broken up with her boyfriend. I tried to manage that ( Read more... )

I'm irritated with myself, and so glad he doesn't read LJ. I am horribly homesick for the first time in about a decade. I used to get antsy about getting back to the valley when I would be down here for a month at a time. I flew in on Thursday and by Friday afternoon, I felt like I didn't belong. I didn't want to be here. Truth be told, I ( Read more... )