I don't know what to do...

I'm feeling strange. Been feeling that way. It's not a bad feeling, not a good feeling... just an awkward feeling. Like I miss someone. Missing something.

Sleep is something I need. Instead of getting some shut eye, I spend my nights feeling depressed in my bed.

I DON'T EVEN WRITE! D:

The more and more I go into this... the ( Read more... )

I really need to talk more about my issues.

Manny tried to get me to talk today and it sorta worked. He wanted to ask me some personal questions (question I know he tried to get out of Leo) but it wasn't until I got home that depression hit me with full force.

And I was just starting to get better.

I don't want to think about it. I don't. I want to ( Read more... )

Don't know how this came to be... but I managed to relax a bit today. Surprisingly, not having Morena there made me feel tons lighter. I could laugh a bit more, relax, not have to be super careful what I say around her. Leo can handle whatever comes out of my mouth. Hell, he'll even throw it back at me, and laugh when I act disgusted or angry.

I ( Read more... )

Jesus fucking Christ ( Read more... )

Hate ( Read more... )

Some people are just too fucking lucky.

Really.

Anyways, now I can write a bit...

Uhm... Today I thought about hanging myself with the white belt of the Judo Gi.

Not out of depression. And it wasn't a suicidal thought either...

More like an impulse.

Get the belt. Make it into a noose. Put it around my neck.

Jump. Hang.

It was weird. And the more and more ( Read more... )