I get it. I am a huge disappointment! I get it. You don't have to keep reminding me. It doesn't help. You're not motivating me to do well instead you're making me despise myself and beat myself over that over and over again. You make it sound like I wasn't disappointed in myself that I just shrugged if off my shoulders when I was worried and ( Read more... )

It's the last two weeks of my college life, hopefully. I can say that it's hell. There's this looming feeling of death hanging over my head because there's not a single light at the end of the dark tunnel shit. There is no certainty that you will pass. No certainty that you will graduate. Honestly, I'm afraid. I'm extremely worried that things won' ( Read more... )

 You try. You've always been a social outcast. Always one who people never responded to...always one out of the loop. No one picks you for groups, no one remembers to invite you. You're troubled and they won't notice at all. You go to other people and they tell you that you should, well reach out more. You do...but the risk just grows. The more you ( Read more... )

 I just realized how sad and lonely I am. How I can't really fit in anymore and just...I don't know. I'm tired. Here  I go again. Tired....always tired. It's like a long nightmare that doesn't seem to end. I want to wake up from all of this. I want to be someone better. I'm not good enough. I'm not even up to par to who I'm supposed to be...This is ( Read more... )

I'm coping ( Read more... )

 AH THIS PLACE IS SHIT REALLY. I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE. SOMEONE JUST TAKE ME AWAY FROM ALL THIS SHIT. SWIPE ME FROM THIS FUCKING WORLD AND JUST LET ME DISAPPEAR ( Read more... )

 So lately things has been quite difficult. Passing things and even just drawing makes things very difficult. I haven't been sleeping nor have I been eating properly at all. I don't feel a thing. I'm numb. I'm cold. I find myself staring and doing nothing. Heck I'm not even in the mood for ice cream!!! I do go out with friends, because I know ( Read more... )

 I know it's been one depressing post after another. It sucks I know but it's the only way I'll be able to feel better. The only way I can at least stabilize this emotional instability. The only way to know that I'm not depressed. I know I'm sad and breaking apart deep inside. I'm so tired already, tired of trying to be okay. Tired of avoiding him ( Read more... )

 Let's just say it's been about a day or two since the break up and I can safely say the tears did stop. I can say "we broke up" without tearing up and feeling like my heart was slowly being crushed. I wonder if he's the same. I doubt it though. I know he's still all torn up ( Read more... )

 I must be putting on such a good show in order to earn comments from my mom such as...

"I'm sure he cried and you didn't."
"How could you grow tired of him? He's such a nice guy."
"You must have someone else already."

Ah feels good to be back in this little box of mine. I don't have the energy to tell them that I did cry...and am still crying. I didn' ( Read more... )