So James Callis posts a video link on Twitter. I click on it and the title is "fat guy breaks chair in interview". Upon seeing the word "fat", blood backs up at the back of my neck, anticipating a major panic attack. This is it. He laughs at fat people, he posts videos about it, he'd see me as a joke.

But watching the video, it's not really that ( Read more... )

Sometimes I feel like I'm a difficult person. I try not to argue or re-educate people most of the time, but I've rethought everything to the point where it might be a bit demanding to be my friend online. But the thing is, I can't go back to the things I used to believe, i.e. that fat is bad, diets work, marriage is for man and woman, you should ( Read more... )

I think it'd be easier if there was a way to DEFINE gender, and what makes you a man or woman or something in between. Are there other genders? If so, what are they and how are they recognized ( Read more... )

I have been doing too much stuff adn going to too many places and now I find myself unable to write everything out. Two days off may not be enough for this.

Brief bulletin points

-I may be genderqueer. I'm not even sure what I mean at this point. I'm not trans probably, I don't identify as a man and I doubt I ever will. But who can ever tell what ( Read more... )

 I THREW OUT MY SCALE LIKE A BOSS!!!

I threw out that motherfucking death machine in an act of guerilla warfare.
...Um, Robyn suggested looking at it in war terms, because fighting against an eating disorder is like facing a war machine.

So I did it. It was really hard. I was scared and angry. I shook and felt sick and coddled the scale to my chest ( Read more... )

 Jesus, why are all the fat belly photos on Google search from health sites saying "fat is bad ( Read more... )

I'm fairly OK, even if I have been at my folks' for the last three days. Osku is here with me and he's thriving! <3 I was very concerned about how he'd adapt to the new envinronment, but it seems he's enjoying the different rooms and all the things to sniff at and push his head against. Mom and Dad have been downright affectionate with him, and he ( Read more... )

 Blah. 
So I went for a pizza - again, after having one on Friday and Sunday in the same place. I just can't resist it. I had a sausage pizza this time, with mozzarella and tomato. mmmmmmmmmm. After eating it, I felt gleeful and like I still had room for dessert. So I ordered a chocolate soufflé.

OH MY GOD that souffle. It was sooooo good. It was ( Read more... )

 Dreamt about James Callis. He was on set of Eureka, eating candy and talking to an extra. I thought it was totally sweet that he spoke to her. He said, "I've found that if you munch all day you don't get as fat -" It cut off there, but it was really cute and amusing to me. (I also liked that he said "munch", not eat ( Read more... )