My friend's mother committed suicide. There are no words.  I haven't heard anything from her in five days, but I'm trying to not ask, lest she feels pressured by it. I hope she's OK. She's probably still at her Dad's house ( Read more... )

I'm really embarrassed about my James Callis fandom up til now. I feel like I only recently woke up and realized I was totally neurotic, obsessive, and needy. I'm not sure if it was calculated - James is an empathetic person so of course he'll feel for me if I show I have issues - or if I just couldn't help showing all of my issues in the blog and ( Read more... )

Tried to read up on Binge Eating Disorder. I sort of fit the "grazing" thing (eating small amounts of food but very often). Most of the emotional issues are there ( Read more... )

Dreamt I was reading Alice Munro. It said, "All she wanted to do was play Subeta Subeta Subeta Subeta Chubeta Chubeta Chubeta Chubeta". That about sums it up.

Warning: anxious post. Proceed with caution.

OH! BUT! I told my brothers about Toby and I! I joined them on my fake-name Facebook, which is ironically more real than my real-name one. They ( Read more... )

Toby has made a trans friend on Tumblr and I'm very happy for him. This seems like a great guy, a kind person who really knows what Toby is going through. Toby really didn't know anyone online - or he did, some jerks from gaming forums that he didn't really get along with - before we got together. All of his facebook friends are my freinds, apart ( Read more... )

I'm fairly OK, even if I have been at my folks' for the last three days. Osku is here with me and he's thriving! <3 I was very concerned about how he'd adapt to the new envinronment, but it seems he's enjoying the different rooms and all the things to sniff at and push his head against. Mom and Dad have been downright affectionate with him, and he ( Read more... )

Sick again. My throat is apparently determined to make me miserable, and I make do as best I can, watching DVDs and reading and trying to forget about the feeling. The doctor said it's a "mild symptom" - after listening to my lungs and testing my lymph nodes for possible tenderness - and I felt like telling him it's NOT mild. But I'm glad to know ( Read more... )

Stronger meds, please kick in. Kick in. Now. Hello? OK, I'll give you a ew more days. I've been taking the meds for 9 days, and the only difference is that I have a nausea that creeps in every now and then. And dizziness. Although it could be this flu I seem to be getting, AGAIN. I'm very tired still.

For those of you who enjoy Interview with the ( Read more... )

 What's the point of vacation if you feel equally tired and fed up at the end of it? I mean I did relax a few times. I did. But I also panicked and felt anxious and agonized and overanalyzed and was generally unable to be the calm, happy holiday person I wanted to be ( Read more... )

 Sorry for spamming, but maybe I shoud, in fact, think about the James/FB thing because it seems to bug me still. It might mean I need to deal with this some more. It strikes me I didn't make any decision as to my fandom and whether I should continue as is. FlashForward came in between.

I worry about my reaction to the FB thing more than I worry ( Read more... )