Thanksgiving was wonderful! Bittersweet 'cause my mother wasn't there. But my brother invited all of the local family and some family friends. He and SIL made a gigantic dinner, one of the best I've ever had. Everyone was relaxed and happy. When I was leaving, my brother hugged me and said, "I'm glad you're here". He never says that kind of thing ( Read more... )

This last week has been a blur. Tessa and her husband flew in from Italy and their daughter flew in from London. On Monday I went to apartment with Jeff and just fell apart. It's been so strange, I feel a mix of relief, loss, anger and numbness. It's like depression without the pain and misery of depression ( Read more... )

My mother died peacefully this morning after a long illness. She was difficult and could be a major bitch. But she was my mother, and I will miss her. My brother Dean and I are making the arrangements, and my older sister Tessa is taking care of the financials.  Jeff and I are in shock. The past two weeks were terribly difficult; she was in great ( Read more... )

My mom is dying and it sucks. Most of you know this: we thought we’d lose her August 2018 when she had pneumonia (for the third time!). I signed her into at-home hospice. In January she was discharged. They do that after six months if it looks like you’ll still be alive for another six months or more. This May, I signed her back into hospice. ( Read more... )

Tonight I'm sitting at the hotel computer at Springhill Suites by Marriot in Latrobe, PA, an area that has nothing going for it that I can see, other than the Arnold Palmer Airport. The day before yesterday we set out from Chicago and made it to Holiday City, Ohio after driving through the entirety of northern Indiana. Today we drove from there to ( Read more... )

The administrator and the nurse came to evaluate my mother. She was admitted back to the program with no problems. She was having a really bad day. The main aide did a beautiful job of laying out all of the health problems my mom is having. It's a huge relief. Jeff said "maybe the others don't appreciate you, but you did a hell of a job." He is the

This morning my anxiety was so bad I actually took a Klonopin. I haven't in months. But I simply can't stand what's happening to our government. Neither can anyone else. When the fuck did we finally become a monarchy? A week or so ago, a guest on an MSNBC show said, "This is not Sparta! He's not the Queen ( Read more... )

I don't have to energy to post anything right now. But I want to thank everybody for the lovely comments and messages. It means a lot to me.

Here, have a funny.


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My sister's got a room in a house in El Cerrito, close to where she works and close to my other sister. It's a room and bathroom, and supposedly a space for her stuff when the owner clears it out. Not ideal, but she's off the couch and not on the street. PHEW!

Yesterday I read my essay on wanting to buy a gun in Memphis and it went over well. One ( Read more... )

My latest SAM fic keeps derailing. The main thing is that the beach house I keep seeing is the one my family rents for two weeks every summer. It’s too damn vivid and is simply wrong. No, I can’t imagine them there ( Read more... )