Chapter 13
Live and Die Alone
*Link to other pages at the bottom
Chapter 13
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Ian pulled into the little parking lot of the store he had been to many times over the last few months. The little rickety porch stood without a care that anyone was there. All of the people inside were oblivious to what was coming and he was glad of that fact. His plan was perfect. He watched as the monster that looked like Frankie went into the store. Now if these guys weren’t too angry with him to do what they need to do everything would be perfect. He took a small vile from his pocket and removed the little lid from the top. The smell surrounded him and his eyes began to water. He took a deep breath and climbed into the back of the red van. Holding the vile under the nose of each of the guys in the back of the bus he smiled at them as each of their eyes flew open in turn and they one by one sat up.
“What the fuck?” Gerard said as he looked around. His eyes were watering from the smelling salts too.
“Where are we?” Mikey said rubbing his eyes.
“You are outside ‘Minnie’s lunch box’ and inside are the monsters that look just like you.” Ian said. He was getting excited now.
Gerard looked around them again through the windows of the van. The last thing he remembered was eating a chocolate pudding cup that Ian had given him. Ian had given one to all of them. They had been on their way to an interview, or so Ian had told them, and they hadn’t eaten anything sense that morning and he had handed the little cups from a cooler that was sitting beside his seat. He remembered eating some of it then there was nothing, until now.
“You drugged us!” It wasn’t a question. He just knew it was true. The rest of them were staring from Gee to Ian.
“Yes I did, and now you are here, and they are here, and this is almost over.” His smile grew despite the obvious anger that Gerard had for him. Gerard flashed him another look filled with just how much he’d like to rip the guys face off. He did like the fact that this was almost over and that’s the only reason he didn’t tare into the man in front of him smiling like an idiot.
“The drug I gave you shouldn’t have any side effects and you should be feeling fine now.” They each nodded. Ian nodded confirming that it had worked.
“All that’s left now is for you to go into the store and finally get rid of them once and for all.”
Gerard looked around at the faces of his friends, they were all dreading this. Even tho they knew the dreams would stop and that they would no longer have to worry about people getting killed and thinking it was them that did it. Just last week a girl had run up to Frankie swearing that she had made love to him and that she missed him. Frankie had kept his cool, saying,
“I’m sorry, but it wasn’t me.”
She didn’t believe him and kept on saying she missed him and the bodyguard had to get them away. They had no doubt that she had been with Frankie, just not this one. He could feel the anger rise at the thought that these impostors were sleeping with fans! What the fuck? How could they be exactly like them if they were doing that? But what Ray had told them of the experience was still in all of their minds and none of them wanted to do it and yet they all new they had to. Ray wasn’t with them. Ian had seen no need in bringing him along. So he had purposely talked Ray into staying behind. They each got out of the van and walked onto the porch towards the door. Frankie looked down and had a felling that the porch may give under him and he deliberately made his steps soft as he walked up to the door of the store. If anyone had seen the other Frankie walk into the store and were watching now, they would have thought it was the same man, because their movements were identical. They entered the door and the guys at the bar all stood up at the same time looking back at them as they entered, all except Frankie, whose eyes were locked on the bar as if the answer to everything was ingrained in the wood. Frankie saw the fear spread across their faces. He couldn’t take his eyes from the one that was just like him. A flood of emotion ripped through him and he knew that there was no way he could touch him. No matter what Ian said. No matter the dreams he had to wake up from.
A picture of Gerard in his arms kissing his lips flashed in his head. He blinked it away. None of that mattered. He couldn’t touch the man sitting at the bar petrified by his very presence. He wouldn’t. Bob didn’t wait for anyone. He saw them get up from the bar and he decided to treat it like a band-aid. Just rip it off. That’s what you do when you don’t want it to hurt so much right? He rushed over to the bar. Mikey took his lead. No one in the bar so much as had time to ask ‘what the hell?’ They were on top of the impostors that stood stunned at the bar before anyone could blink. He felt the heat that Ray had described. It was like white-hot and it sent a spasm through him. The sensation felt odd. He couldn’t pinpoint what exactly he was feeling but it was over in an instant. Mikey had touched the other one at the same time. A puff of dust, or ash erupted in the tiny store and everyone close to the bar was covered in it.
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Frankie saw them coming and there was nowhere to run. They had all felt the presence of the others but they had just appeared as if from nowhere. Bob took a single step before the hand touched his bare arm. Mikey let out a whimper before he was touched on the neck. Frankie heard it as they disintegrated. They were after all within inches of him when it happened all at once. He looked up and noticed his face looking at him from the door. He was still sitting on the small stool, the panic that had flooded through him when he felt them, had glued him to that spot. The Frankie at the door had on the exact shirt he did. It was irony really. It was just a plain black shirt. He put it on over a red t-shirt that he had. They obviously had the same idea when they got dressed that morning. He looked towards the back of the store and there was a back door standing open. He stood up slowly. He could see the trees in the back of the place. He wanted to run for it but was afraid that he would feel the touch on his back and the world would end for him. He didn’t want it to happen with his back to it. So he stood there as the other Frankie walked up to him slowly.
They stood face to face and there was no sound from the two farmers that had been eating breakfast or the waitress that stood frozen behind the counter.
“I’m supposed to touch you and end this now.” Frankie from the door said.
“But I can’t, you aren’t a monster are you?” He said looking into what seemed to be his own eyes. The other Frankie just shook his head.
“Frank, you have to! You can’t let him go! You need to do what you have to do.” Mikey said in a shocked voice.
“You don’t understand, I cant. I just fuckin cant.” He said offhandedly as he turning his attention back to the other Frankie he said,
“Go now, go find your Gerard and get out of here before he’s gone too.” That’s when Frankie at the bar noticed Gerard standing in the doorway. It wasn’t his Gerard. He looked just like him but his hair was wrong. Thank god Gerard hadn’t come to the store with them this morning. He got his senses back at that moment.
“Thank you.” He said and sprinted towards the back door. He sped up the closer to the door he got, afraid that Frankie would change his mind. He ran across the field and towards the road. He stopped behind a tree. He could see the car that they had been using the past few months coming toward him. He took a deep breath and tried to steady himself. The loss of the other guys was threatening to overtake him and he needed to be in the car before he let it wash through him.
Just after Frankie was safely in the back seat Gerard turned the car around and drove back the way they had come. He new that the dirt road they were on lead to a paved one that was only a mile from the interstate. Where exactly they were going he didn’t know, he just knew that they had to be far from there.
“They got them didn’t they? You two are all I have left.” Angel said. She scooted closer to Gerard and placed her arm behind his neck. The realization that if they caught them she would loose him was wrapping its fingers around her throat. Just then she noticed the van coming up behind them. It was a red van and even tho she hadn’t seen it before she knew that in that van was the end of her happiness. She knew that in that van was her worst fear. It held her nightmare come true and it was getting closer.
“Oh fuck! Faster, please go faster.” She turned in the seat and was looking back at the van as it closed in on them her face with a clear mirror of her fears etched into it. Her voice cracked on the last word. She couldn’t control her anguish. She was careful not to get in the way of Gerard steering the car but she needed to feel him closer next to her and she wrapped both of her hands around him and buried her face in his neck and let the sobs escape her throat.
Gerard knew he might not be able to get away. The car they had been driving was very old and had a few problems. It didn’t go faster than 65 and he had the peddle to the floor. There was nothing more he could do but hope that something would happen so that it wouldn’t end this way. He placed one hand around her neck while he steered with the other. Trying to comfort her. It was all he could think to do. The road to the interstate came into view and so did the police cars that blocked the road. There were deep ditches on either side of the road and there was no way to go through them. Gerard’s heart began to sink. Angel’s face was still buried in his neck but he knew she would see what was going to happen any moment.
“I love you, Angel. I Love you so much and I’m sorry.”
He began to let the car slow. He thought of hitting the ditch and making a run for it only he knew if he hit the ditch the car might make it but there was a chance that Angel would get hurt. Him and Frankie would be fine but she may not and he couldn’t risk that. He stopped the car staring at the police cars in front of them and glanced in the rear view mirror to see the van stopping just behind them. The man that had come onto their bus was driving. He turned in the seat as Angel was looking up.
“What? Why did you stop? Why would you stop?” She said just before she noticed the cop cars. They didn’t make a sound. There were no sirens, they were just in their way. And the doors to the van opened. A figure was coming closer to the car. He wrapped his arms around her.
“Don’t leave me Gerard, please. Don’t go.” She was clinging to him as if the tightness of her grip could stop what was going to happen. Frankie was sitting up looking back at the van from the rear window. Gerard opened the door and with Angel still clinging to him he got out of the car.
“You’ll be ok, I promise you will.” He said and held her tight for a last moment. Her tear filled eyes looked up at him and his heart broke.
“But you are the only man I’ve ever loved like this, you are the only one who ever really loved me, how do I survive this?” He didn’t want to leave her. He took a deep breath, as the other Gerard was finally right in front of them. Frankie never moved from the back seat.
“I’ll be with you always. I’ll love you forever.” He brushed his lips against hers and kissed them softly tasting her salty tears, his heart was breaking more for the pain that he knew she would feel then for his life. He held her head and kissed her forehead after pulling himself away from her lips. He pealed her hands from around him and pushed her back from him. He could see how much him doing that had stung her but he couldn’t bear the thought of it happening while she had her arms wrapped around him.
“Gerard, don’t wait! Do it now!” Ian’s voice came from the van behind them. Gerard only hesitated a second.
He thought what if they aren’t monsters? But in the end he listened to Ian and he reached his hand out quickly and took the hand of the other Gerard standing in front of him. A scream exploded from the girl beside them. He recognized her. He had made love to her in dreams. Ash was drifting around them and she fell to her knees. She placed her cheek to the ground against the ashes that were there and she was crying so hard that choking sounds were filling his ears. Was I wrong? Is Frankie right? Should we have left them alone? The thoughts flooded his mind as he let his eyes remain on the sobbing girl at his feet. Guilt filled his entire body, and last minute second thoughts filled his mind. Only he couldn't take it back. It was done, He had done what Ian had wanted him to do. He glanced at Frankie with a fleeting thought that he wished he had been as strong as him when She stood up quickly catching him by surprise. She came at him hitting anything she could. Her fist slammed into his upper lip. It would have hurt much worse had he still had the piece of flesh that is supposed to connect to your lip. It had been ripped off along time ago when Frankie had hit him from behind and caused him to slam his mouth into a guy’s head in the audience. Suddenly she was punching his chest as hard as she could.
“How could you?! How could you do this to me?! You bastard! He was all I have!” She was still hitting anything she could come in contact with when he wrapped his arms around her and gently ran his hand down her hair. Instantly she calmed because his smell and the feel of him was so familiar. She almost forgot that this wasn’t the same man she had been with for so long. She looked up and his eyes met hers and she did forget. It was him, it was her Gerard. His arms were around her and she just wanted to never have to be without him. She leaned into him and touched her lips to his. It was the same as it had been for so long.
She kissed him and just for a second he kissed her back. And in that second Angel thought that she hadn’t lost him. He hadn’t left her. When her lips touched his, Gerard couldn’t help but kiss her back. It was like in the dreams. He felt a kind of love for her. But it was only from what the thing that had been here a moment ago felt. He was in love with his girlfriend. He didn’t know the girl in his arms. He didn’t release her. He knew that she was trapped in a web of grief, but he did take his lips from hers. He kissed her cheek instead.
“I’m so sorry. But he was a monster, an imposter, I had to do it.” He said to her still stroking her hair. Just then Frankie snapped out of his trance and stepped out of the car.
“Get your hands off of her!” He said. You’re the monster! How could you?” Frankie pushed Gerard away from Angel and took her into his own arms. Angel didn’t want to let go of him but she knew she must and let Frankie take her. Just then a realization grabbed her and she raised her head up with a start and her wild eyes stared at the van.
“Oh my god. Frankie?” She looked back at the real Gerard standing in front of her.
“Are you going to kill him too?” She had meant for it to sound threatening, to sound accusing. But it sounded weak and defeated instead. Gerard just shook his head and turned slowly from them. He walked back toward the van. She could see the man in the front seat was having a heated argument with someone in the back. But she couldn’t see who it was, although she knew exactly who it was.
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Gerard slowly walked up to the van.
“You can’t just let that monster live!” Ian said looking at Frankie in disgust.
“Yes I can. Why cant I, it’s my life and I know they haven’t killed anyone else. I also know that killing those girls was an accident.” Frankie said.
“Well if you had killed them yourself you’d be in prison right now as we speak.” Ian said looking back at Frankie with a challenging stare.
“The only damn reason he’s not in prison is that the government doesn’t want the knowledge that this even happens getting out!” He concluded.
“That may be so, but I am not going to do this. I’m not going to shatter that girl’s world. I just can’t.” He said and jumped a little when he noticed that Gerard was now standing outside the van.
“Sorry Gee, I didn’t mean..” He trailed off. He looked through the window and his eyes locked with the Frankie that was holding Angel.
“No, its ok, you’re right. I wish I could take it back now.” He shrugged, but the sadness was apparent on his face. Ian raised his hands in an animated shrug of frustration.
“What is it man, why is it so important to you to kill all of them? What happened to you?” Bob said watching Ian with interest. Ian sighed. He knew it was done. Nothing he said was going to get rid of the last one. He decided to tell them. It couldn’t hurt and it might feel good to tell someone, only one other soul knew about it.
“I was happily married 10 years ago. I loved her more than anything. She was a widow you see. She had lost her husband to an armed robbery 5 years before we met. She loved me, just not enough. Her husband came home one day in the middle of our dinner, our dinner! Can you believe that? She wasn’t even shocked. She left me for the impostor, for a monster that looked like her husband and she didn’t even say she was sorry. She just left with him. I found out about what had happened from a friend that I had that belonged to the FBI. So I joined and vowed that I’d kill all of them that can be killed. It’s become my life. Its all I have.” He finished his story with a sigh that was almost a sob.
“Wow, man I’m sorry but that doesn’t mean that what you are doing is right.” Mikey said. He picked up the mic, an officer said,
“Go ahead.”
“Let them through, let them go.” He said.
The car with angel and Frankie was pulling away. He didn’t care in the slightest that no one was stopping them. Gerard climbed into the van and without another word Ian began to drive them back to where he had taken them. The police were leaving to. They had had orders to block the road and not interfere with anything that happened. That was one thing that made being FBI good, the police just followed orders.
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Frankie still held Angel and the grief of loosing his friends was washing through him. He didn’t want to live and he almost ran to the van to touch the one he knew was there, the only one that could end the pain. He didn’t do it. He stayed for Angel. He couldn’t leave her like that and he knew it after what she had just been through. He would stay with her and comfort her as long as it took. But he knew that one day he would go and find the one that was looking at him now through the window of the red van. He knew he would find him and he would touch him to end the grief himself. Maybe not soon, for Angel’s sake, but one day he would.
An old truck pulled up behind the red van and Audra and Stephen got out. Audra was crying too and she rushed over and hugged Angel and Frankie.
“They’re gone aren’t they?” Audra said. She took Frankie’s hand.
“I’m glad you are still here.” She said smiling at him through her tears. Stephen came closer and despite the fact that he knew Angel was hurting he was happy that Gerard was gone. He made the biggest mistake of his life, He grabbed Angel and held her close and she let him liking the comfort of a friend. He then bent down and kissed her lips. It was something he had wanted to do for so long. She was so drained so emotional that it took her a min to realize that this wasn’t a friendly kiss.
There was a smile on his lips when she pulled away from him. he looked as tho he was ecstatic about what had happened. That was his mistake. Angel was shocked. She pulled back from him with a gasp.
“What the fuck? Are you mad?” She said looking at him in disgust. Frankie stood silently beside her. He had known that Stephen had fallen in love with her. They all had known it for some time. Angel was the only one who seemed not to know it. She slapped him hard across the face and turned back to Frankie.
“Can we leave here? I don’t care where to, I just need to go.” She said. Gerard was standing outside the van. She looked back at him longingly but she knew he wasn’t hers and never would be. She turned from him deliberately to maybe cut the wishes that were flying through her head. Frankie just nodded and they got into the car. Audra looked back at Stephen as they left. Angel hadn’t wanted to think about it but she mentioned that it was time for Audra to go home.
“No! I want to stay with you.” She felt like they were her family. But deep down she knew Angel was right.
“We have to, I’m so sorry, you know I’d keep you if I could” And they began the long drive to her home. They promised to keep in touch and they did. Angel And Frankie just drove for a long time until they found a quiet town and started a life. They weren’t together as lovers. Frankie and Angel were never more than friends. Audra had a baby boy a few months later and she named him Raymond Robert Michael Gerard. Frankie was ok with the fact that she hadn’t included his name, after all, the boy did have four names and he figured it was enough. Her parents were just glad that she came home. She called him Ray. And Ray grew up to start his own band. It was never as popular as MCR but Audra was very proud of her Ray Ray just the same
Even tho Stephen found them and tried to win Angel, it never worked. She just didn’t have it in her to love anyone else. Angel was always a fan of MCR. She had everything they did. Her house was an MCR shrine. She had framed photos on the wall of the band. She had a scrapbook of Gerard that she had made. She thought she needed it, just to have moments to pretend. She had been to so many concerts and watched them live that she had lost count. Even tho at several of them she had the chance to meet them, maybe even get a hug she never took the opportunity. She didn’t think she could stand by him and not fall apart. She would just leave and go back home afterwards. She just needed to stand in the audience and dream that he was still her Gerard if only for a little while. She had always thought that she would live and die alone. She was wrong about that, she died with Frankie beside her. She was very old and he had never left her. Two weeks after she died and he had taken care of her funeral and things he found the real Frankie. It wasn’t hard sense he could sense him. He was still alive and kicking, although he too was an old man. A small house out in the country with a wooden porch was his home. Angel’s Frankie walked up to the bewildered man and said,
“Thank you for still being here.” The old man on the porch was a little shocked at first when the other smiled and took his hand and an eruption of ash surrounded him on the old porch. Then he knew who it was. He picked up the guitar propped against the wall beside him and began to strum.
“You’re welcome.” He said.
~The End~
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*Link to other pages at the bottom
Chapter 13
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Ian pulled into the little parking lot of the store he had been to many times over the last few months. The little rickety porch stood without a care that anyone was there. All of the people inside were oblivious to what was coming and he was glad of that fact. His plan was perfect. He watched as the monster that looked like Frankie went into the store. Now if these guys weren’t too angry with him to do what they need to do everything would be perfect. He took a small vile from his pocket and removed the little lid from the top. The smell surrounded him and his eyes began to water. He took a deep breath and climbed into the back of the red van. Holding the vile under the nose of each of the guys in the back of the bus he smiled at them as each of their eyes flew open in turn and they one by one sat up.
“What the fuck?” Gerard said as he looked around. His eyes were watering from the smelling salts too.
“Where are we?” Mikey said rubbing his eyes.
“You are outside ‘Minnie’s lunch box’ and inside are the monsters that look just like you.” Ian said. He was getting excited now.
Gerard looked around them again through the windows of the van. The last thing he remembered was eating a chocolate pudding cup that Ian had given him. Ian had given one to all of them. They had been on their way to an interview, or so Ian had told them, and they hadn’t eaten anything sense that morning and he had handed the little cups from a cooler that was sitting beside his seat. He remembered eating some of it then there was nothing, until now.
“You drugged us!” It wasn’t a question. He just knew it was true. The rest of them were staring from Gee to Ian.
“Yes I did, and now you are here, and they are here, and this is almost over.” His smile grew despite the obvious anger that Gerard had for him. Gerard flashed him another look filled with just how much he’d like to rip the guys face off. He did like the fact that this was almost over and that’s the only reason he didn’t tare into the man in front of him smiling like an idiot.
“The drug I gave you shouldn’t have any side effects and you should be feeling fine now.” They each nodded. Ian nodded confirming that it had worked.
“All that’s left now is for you to go into the store and finally get rid of them once and for all.”
Gerard looked around at the faces of his friends, they were all dreading this. Even tho they knew the dreams would stop and that they would no longer have to worry about people getting killed and thinking it was them that did it. Just last week a girl had run up to Frankie swearing that she had made love to him and that she missed him. Frankie had kept his cool, saying,
“I’m sorry, but it wasn’t me.”
She didn’t believe him and kept on saying she missed him and the bodyguard had to get them away. They had no doubt that she had been with Frankie, just not this one. He could feel the anger rise at the thought that these impostors were sleeping with fans! What the fuck? How could they be exactly like them if they were doing that? But what Ray had told them of the experience was still in all of their minds and none of them wanted to do it and yet they all new they had to. Ray wasn’t with them. Ian had seen no need in bringing him along. So he had purposely talked Ray into staying behind. They each got out of the van and walked onto the porch towards the door. Frankie looked down and had a felling that the porch may give under him and he deliberately made his steps soft as he walked up to the door of the store. If anyone had seen the other Frankie walk into the store and were watching now, they would have thought it was the same man, because their movements were identical. They entered the door and the guys at the bar all stood up at the same time looking back at them as they entered, all except Frankie, whose eyes were locked on the bar as if the answer to everything was ingrained in the wood. Frankie saw the fear spread across their faces. He couldn’t take his eyes from the one that was just like him. A flood of emotion ripped through him and he knew that there was no way he could touch him. No matter what Ian said. No matter the dreams he had to wake up from.
A picture of Gerard in his arms kissing his lips flashed in his head. He blinked it away. None of that mattered. He couldn’t touch the man sitting at the bar petrified by his very presence. He wouldn’t. Bob didn’t wait for anyone. He saw them get up from the bar and he decided to treat it like a band-aid. Just rip it off. That’s what you do when you don’t want it to hurt so much right? He rushed over to the bar. Mikey took his lead. No one in the bar so much as had time to ask ‘what the hell?’ They were on top of the impostors that stood stunned at the bar before anyone could blink. He felt the heat that Ray had described. It was like white-hot and it sent a spasm through him. The sensation felt odd. He couldn’t pinpoint what exactly he was feeling but it was over in an instant. Mikey had touched the other one at the same time. A puff of dust, or ash erupted in the tiny store and everyone close to the bar was covered in it.
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Frankie saw them coming and there was nowhere to run. They had all felt the presence of the others but they had just appeared as if from nowhere. Bob took a single step before the hand touched his bare arm. Mikey let out a whimper before he was touched on the neck. Frankie heard it as they disintegrated. They were after all within inches of him when it happened all at once. He looked up and noticed his face looking at him from the door. He was still sitting on the small stool, the panic that had flooded through him when he felt them, had glued him to that spot. The Frankie at the door had on the exact shirt he did. It was irony really. It was just a plain black shirt. He put it on over a red t-shirt that he had. They obviously had the same idea when they got dressed that morning. He looked towards the back of the store and there was a back door standing open. He stood up slowly. He could see the trees in the back of the place. He wanted to run for it but was afraid that he would feel the touch on his back and the world would end for him. He didn’t want it to happen with his back to it. So he stood there as the other Frankie walked up to him slowly.
They stood face to face and there was no sound from the two farmers that had been eating breakfast or the waitress that stood frozen behind the counter.
“I’m supposed to touch you and end this now.” Frankie from the door said.
“But I can’t, you aren’t a monster are you?” He said looking into what seemed to be his own eyes. The other Frankie just shook his head.
“Frank, you have to! You can’t let him go! You need to do what you have to do.” Mikey said in a shocked voice.
“You don’t understand, I cant. I just fuckin cant.” He said offhandedly as he turning his attention back to the other Frankie he said,
“Go now, go find your Gerard and get out of here before he’s gone too.” That’s when Frankie at the bar noticed Gerard standing in the doorway. It wasn’t his Gerard. He looked just like him but his hair was wrong. Thank god Gerard hadn’t come to the store with them this morning. He got his senses back at that moment.
“Thank you.” He said and sprinted towards the back door. He sped up the closer to the door he got, afraid that Frankie would change his mind. He ran across the field and towards the road. He stopped behind a tree. He could see the car that they had been using the past few months coming toward him. He took a deep breath and tried to steady himself. The loss of the other guys was threatening to overtake him and he needed to be in the car before he let it wash through him.
Just after Frankie was safely in the back seat Gerard turned the car around and drove back the way they had come. He new that the dirt road they were on lead to a paved one that was only a mile from the interstate. Where exactly they were going he didn’t know, he just knew that they had to be far from there.
“They got them didn’t they? You two are all I have left.” Angel said. She scooted closer to Gerard and placed her arm behind his neck. The realization that if they caught them she would loose him was wrapping its fingers around her throat. Just then she noticed the van coming up behind them. It was a red van and even tho she hadn’t seen it before she knew that in that van was the end of her happiness. She knew that in that van was her worst fear. It held her nightmare come true and it was getting closer.
“Oh fuck! Faster, please go faster.” She turned in the seat and was looking back at the van as it closed in on them her face with a clear mirror of her fears etched into it. Her voice cracked on the last word. She couldn’t control her anguish. She was careful not to get in the way of Gerard steering the car but she needed to feel him closer next to her and she wrapped both of her hands around him and buried her face in his neck and let the sobs escape her throat.
Gerard knew he might not be able to get away. The car they had been driving was very old and had a few problems. It didn’t go faster than 65 and he had the peddle to the floor. There was nothing more he could do but hope that something would happen so that it wouldn’t end this way. He placed one hand around her neck while he steered with the other. Trying to comfort her. It was all he could think to do. The road to the interstate came into view and so did the police cars that blocked the road. There were deep ditches on either side of the road and there was no way to go through them. Gerard’s heart began to sink. Angel’s face was still buried in his neck but he knew she would see what was going to happen any moment.
“I love you, Angel. I Love you so much and I’m sorry.”
He began to let the car slow. He thought of hitting the ditch and making a run for it only he knew if he hit the ditch the car might make it but there was a chance that Angel would get hurt. Him and Frankie would be fine but she may not and he couldn’t risk that. He stopped the car staring at the police cars in front of them and glanced in the rear view mirror to see the van stopping just behind them. The man that had come onto their bus was driving. He turned in the seat as Angel was looking up.
“What? Why did you stop? Why would you stop?” She said just before she noticed the cop cars. They didn’t make a sound. There were no sirens, they were just in their way. And the doors to the van opened. A figure was coming closer to the car. He wrapped his arms around her.
“Don’t leave me Gerard, please. Don’t go.” She was clinging to him as if the tightness of her grip could stop what was going to happen. Frankie was sitting up looking back at the van from the rear window. Gerard opened the door and with Angel still clinging to him he got out of the car.
“You’ll be ok, I promise you will.” He said and held her tight for a last moment. Her tear filled eyes looked up at him and his heart broke.
“But you are the only man I’ve ever loved like this, you are the only one who ever really loved me, how do I survive this?” He didn’t want to leave her. He took a deep breath, as the other Gerard was finally right in front of them. Frankie never moved from the back seat.
“I’ll be with you always. I’ll love you forever.” He brushed his lips against hers and kissed them softly tasting her salty tears, his heart was breaking more for the pain that he knew she would feel then for his life. He held her head and kissed her forehead after pulling himself away from her lips. He pealed her hands from around him and pushed her back from him. He could see how much him doing that had stung her but he couldn’t bear the thought of it happening while she had her arms wrapped around him.
“Gerard, don’t wait! Do it now!” Ian’s voice came from the van behind them. Gerard only hesitated a second.
He thought what if they aren’t monsters? But in the end he listened to Ian and he reached his hand out quickly and took the hand of the other Gerard standing in front of him. A scream exploded from the girl beside them. He recognized her. He had made love to her in dreams. Ash was drifting around them and she fell to her knees. She placed her cheek to the ground against the ashes that were there and she was crying so hard that choking sounds were filling his ears. Was I wrong? Is Frankie right? Should we have left them alone? The thoughts flooded his mind as he let his eyes remain on the sobbing girl at his feet. Guilt filled his entire body, and last minute second thoughts filled his mind. Only he couldn't take it back. It was done, He had done what Ian had wanted him to do. He glanced at Frankie with a fleeting thought that he wished he had been as strong as him when She stood up quickly catching him by surprise. She came at him hitting anything she could. Her fist slammed into his upper lip. It would have hurt much worse had he still had the piece of flesh that is supposed to connect to your lip. It had been ripped off along time ago when Frankie had hit him from behind and caused him to slam his mouth into a guy’s head in the audience. Suddenly she was punching his chest as hard as she could.
“How could you?! How could you do this to me?! You bastard! He was all I have!” She was still hitting anything she could come in contact with when he wrapped his arms around her and gently ran his hand down her hair. Instantly she calmed because his smell and the feel of him was so familiar. She almost forgot that this wasn’t the same man she had been with for so long. She looked up and his eyes met hers and she did forget. It was him, it was her Gerard. His arms were around her and she just wanted to never have to be without him. She leaned into him and touched her lips to his. It was the same as it had been for so long.
She kissed him and just for a second he kissed her back. And in that second Angel thought that she hadn’t lost him. He hadn’t left her. When her lips touched his, Gerard couldn’t help but kiss her back. It was like in the dreams. He felt a kind of love for her. But it was only from what the thing that had been here a moment ago felt. He was in love with his girlfriend. He didn’t know the girl in his arms. He didn’t release her. He knew that she was trapped in a web of grief, but he did take his lips from hers. He kissed her cheek instead.
“I’m so sorry. But he was a monster, an imposter, I had to do it.” He said to her still stroking her hair. Just then Frankie snapped out of his trance and stepped out of the car.
“Get your hands off of her!” He said. You’re the monster! How could you?” Frankie pushed Gerard away from Angel and took her into his own arms. Angel didn’t want to let go of him but she knew she must and let Frankie take her. Just then a realization grabbed her and she raised her head up with a start and her wild eyes stared at the van.
“Oh my god. Frankie?” She looked back at the real Gerard standing in front of her.
“Are you going to kill him too?” She had meant for it to sound threatening, to sound accusing. But it sounded weak and defeated instead. Gerard just shook his head and turned slowly from them. He walked back toward the van. She could see the man in the front seat was having a heated argument with someone in the back. But she couldn’t see who it was, although she knew exactly who it was.
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Gerard slowly walked up to the van.
“You can’t just let that monster live!” Ian said looking at Frankie in disgust.
“Yes I can. Why cant I, it’s my life and I know they haven’t killed anyone else. I also know that killing those girls was an accident.” Frankie said.
“Well if you had killed them yourself you’d be in prison right now as we speak.” Ian said looking back at Frankie with a challenging stare.
“The only damn reason he’s not in prison is that the government doesn’t want the knowledge that this even happens getting out!” He concluded.
“That may be so, but I am not going to do this. I’m not going to shatter that girl’s world. I just can’t.” He said and jumped a little when he noticed that Gerard was now standing outside the van.
“Sorry Gee, I didn’t mean..” He trailed off. He looked through the window and his eyes locked with the Frankie that was holding Angel.
“No, its ok, you’re right. I wish I could take it back now.” He shrugged, but the sadness was apparent on his face. Ian raised his hands in an animated shrug of frustration.
“What is it man, why is it so important to you to kill all of them? What happened to you?” Bob said watching Ian with interest. Ian sighed. He knew it was done. Nothing he said was going to get rid of the last one. He decided to tell them. It couldn’t hurt and it might feel good to tell someone, only one other soul knew about it.
“I was happily married 10 years ago. I loved her more than anything. She was a widow you see. She had lost her husband to an armed robbery 5 years before we met. She loved me, just not enough. Her husband came home one day in the middle of our dinner, our dinner! Can you believe that? She wasn’t even shocked. She left me for the impostor, for a monster that looked like her husband and she didn’t even say she was sorry. She just left with him. I found out about what had happened from a friend that I had that belonged to the FBI. So I joined and vowed that I’d kill all of them that can be killed. It’s become my life. Its all I have.” He finished his story with a sigh that was almost a sob.
“Wow, man I’m sorry but that doesn’t mean that what you are doing is right.” Mikey said. He picked up the mic, an officer said,
“Go ahead.”
“Let them through, let them go.” He said.
The car with angel and Frankie was pulling away. He didn’t care in the slightest that no one was stopping them. Gerard climbed into the van and without another word Ian began to drive them back to where he had taken them. The police were leaving to. They had had orders to block the road and not interfere with anything that happened. That was one thing that made being FBI good, the police just followed orders.
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Frankie still held Angel and the grief of loosing his friends was washing through him. He didn’t want to live and he almost ran to the van to touch the one he knew was there, the only one that could end the pain. He didn’t do it. He stayed for Angel. He couldn’t leave her like that and he knew it after what she had just been through. He would stay with her and comfort her as long as it took. But he knew that one day he would go and find the one that was looking at him now through the window of the red van. He knew he would find him and he would touch him to end the grief himself. Maybe not soon, for Angel’s sake, but one day he would.
An old truck pulled up behind the red van and Audra and Stephen got out. Audra was crying too and she rushed over and hugged Angel and Frankie.
“They’re gone aren’t they?” Audra said. She took Frankie’s hand.
“I’m glad you are still here.” She said smiling at him through her tears. Stephen came closer and despite the fact that he knew Angel was hurting he was happy that Gerard was gone. He made the biggest mistake of his life, He grabbed Angel and held her close and she let him liking the comfort of a friend. He then bent down and kissed her lips. It was something he had wanted to do for so long. She was so drained so emotional that it took her a min to realize that this wasn’t a friendly kiss.
There was a smile on his lips when she pulled away from him. he looked as tho he was ecstatic about what had happened. That was his mistake. Angel was shocked. She pulled back from him with a gasp.
“What the fuck? Are you mad?” She said looking at him in disgust. Frankie stood silently beside her. He had known that Stephen had fallen in love with her. They all had known it for some time. Angel was the only one who seemed not to know it. She slapped him hard across the face and turned back to Frankie.
“Can we leave here? I don’t care where to, I just need to go.” She said. Gerard was standing outside the van. She looked back at him longingly but she knew he wasn’t hers and never would be. She turned from him deliberately to maybe cut the wishes that were flying through her head. Frankie just nodded and they got into the car. Audra looked back at Stephen as they left. Angel hadn’t wanted to think about it but she mentioned that it was time for Audra to go home.
“No! I want to stay with you.” She felt like they were her family. But deep down she knew Angel was right.
“We have to, I’m so sorry, you know I’d keep you if I could” And they began the long drive to her home. They promised to keep in touch and they did. Angel And Frankie just drove for a long time until they found a quiet town and started a life. They weren’t together as lovers. Frankie and Angel were never more than friends. Audra had a baby boy a few months later and she named him Raymond Robert Michael Gerard. Frankie was ok with the fact that she hadn’t included his name, after all, the boy did have four names and he figured it was enough. Her parents were just glad that she came home. She called him Ray. And Ray grew up to start his own band. It was never as popular as MCR but Audra was very proud of her Ray Ray just the same
Even tho Stephen found them and tried to win Angel, it never worked. She just didn’t have it in her to love anyone else. Angel was always a fan of MCR. She had everything they did. Her house was an MCR shrine. She had framed photos on the wall of the band. She had a scrapbook of Gerard that she had made. She thought she needed it, just to have moments to pretend. She had been to so many concerts and watched them live that she had lost count. Even tho at several of them she had the chance to meet them, maybe even get a hug she never took the opportunity. She didn’t think she could stand by him and not fall apart. She would just leave and go back home afterwards. She just needed to stand in the audience and dream that he was still her Gerard if only for a little while. She had always thought that she would live and die alone. She was wrong about that, she died with Frankie beside her. She was very old and he had never left her. Two weeks after she died and he had taken care of her funeral and things he found the real Frankie. It wasn’t hard sense he could sense him. He was still alive and kicking, although he too was an old man. A small house out in the country with a wooden porch was his home. Angel’s Frankie walked up to the bewildered man and said,
“Thank you for still being here.” The old man on the porch was a little shocked at first when the other smiled and took his hand and an eruption of ash surrounded him on the old porch. Then he knew who it was. He picked up the guitar propped against the wall beside him and began to strum.
“You’re welcome.” He said.
~The End~
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